pretty boy

dipper / 19 / male / oregon [semi-dependent Dipper Gleeful, paired with @scutherndarling. M!As: none. written by rowan.]

[southerncharming-blog1]

loyaldaemon:

no denying again~~~~

gee im starting to think you DO want me to “tap that ass”

William, y’ better stop teasin’ me right this very second! 

I swear t’ god--

[southerncharming-blog1]

loyaldaemon:

you’re not denying that you’d want that–

–scandalous.

DON’T TURN THIS AROUND ON ME--

No... N O. NO. NOPE. I’M DONE TALKIN’ TO YOU T’DAY.

[southerncharming-blog1]

loyaldaemon:

listen here you– if i were anywhere near homosexual i probably would’ve hit your ass already

Th’ phrase is tap yer ass. 

[southerncharming-blog1]

loyaldaemon:

im not gay..

suuuuuure you aren’tttt...

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛  new girl sentence starters.  ❜

‘  i don’t know which fork to kill myself with.  ’ ‘  damn it! i can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!  ’ ‘  i’m really bad at making decision.  ’ ‘  if i had a dollar for everybody i couldn’t hang out with because they hated you, i’d be so rich.  ’ ‘  i just want to listen to taylor swift alone.  ’ ‘  pink wine makes me slutty.  ’ ‘  i’m like a mailman, except instead of mail, it’s hot sex that i deliver.  ’ ‘  i don’t mean to be laughing, but are you okay?  ’ ‘  i had figure skating lessons since i was thirteen and then my mom sobered up and realized i was a boy.  ’ ‘  i don’t think it’s fair that women have an excuse once a month to act irrationally angry when the rest of us have to keep it together all the time.  ’ ‘  this plan is officially the worst!  ’ ‘  don’t pretend to know my pain.  ’ ‘  you misspelled the word ‘rhythm’ 38 times.  ’ ‘  i’m as mad as a dad in traffic!  ’ ‘  i could do this all day, son!  ’ ‘  you sons of bitches ready to party?  ’ ‘  i’m dealing with a dingus.  ’ ‘  you’re the most throat-punchable boy in all the world.  ’ ‘  that’s like the president and the vice president not being best friends.  ’ ‘  oh, goodness gracious! what are you, a sorcerer?  ’ ‘  i can buy my own pizza! can somebody please loan me $15?  ’ ‘  i gotta tell my best friend i’m in love with her.  ’ ‘  i’m– i’m pregnant. i mean, you’re pregnant. we’re pregnant!  ’ ‘  what kind of taco meat do you bitches have?  ’ ‘  i think you need me too much.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna be fine. i am. you know why? cause i met you. that’s why i’m okay.  ’ ‘  i’m the voice of reason, that’s why you brought me with.  ’ ‘  we didn’t bring you with. you followed us there in your car.  ’ ‘  saturday is a day for sleeping, and damn it, you will not take that away from me!  ’ ‘  i’ve seen his penis like… a million times.  ’ ‘  he’s my best friend. what if he gets into an accident? what if he’s horribly disfigured and i have to identify him and all that remains are his private parts? and i’m standing there and i’m saying, ‘no officer, i can’t help you because no, i haven’t seen his penis’ and then boom! he’s buried in an unmarked grave.  ’ ‘  people are the worst.  ’ ‘  hey, do you have any snacks?  ’ ‘  it’s a weird life, but it’s where i’m at right now.  ’ ‘  i was put in an awkward situation and i reacted poorly.  ’ ‘  it is perfectly fine to watch tv all day!  ’ ‘  i am not a successful adult! i don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.  ’ ‘  as a matter of fact, i am tired and i am hungry.  ’ ‘  if i don’t know what’s gonna happen, i don’t do something. ever. i don’t care how much i want to do it.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna hit your ass with a ski.  ’ ‘  i want to cover everything up on my body with bubbles.  ’ ‘  how cute am i?  ’ ‘  i’m a color-blind american citizen and i can’t do puzzles.  ’ ‘  what’s your problem? don’t you want me to have a good night?  ’ ‘  maybe if we get drunk then magically everything will just happen.  ’ ‘  anything beautiful is worth getting hurt for.  ’ ‘  every prank you do turns out either too big or too small.  ’ ‘  it burns! it burns!  ’ ‘  why does your hair look so baby soft?!  ’ ‘  how do you get this thing off? get it off of me!  ’ ‘  everyone drinks midori sours! it’s a melon liqueur!  ’ ‘  what do i think the puzzle will look like? the pictures on the box. it’s a japense garden!  ’ ‘  what the hell is wrong with you, just waving that thing around like an idiot?  ’ ‘  give me the spot or i’ll kill you all!  ’ ‘  i will shred myself! i will shred myself in the shredder!  ’ ‘  that tastes disgusting, i don’t like it.  ’ ‘  sometimes i feel like you’re in one of those weird man-dog body-switch movies.  ’ ‘  where are your nipples, man?!  ’ ‘  stop being so mean to me or i swear to go i’m going to fall in love with you!  ’ ‘  i want you to get off my farm!  ’ ‘  i don’t have a vagina!  ’ ‘  this is my only face! i don’t have a lot of faces!  ’ ‘  i refuse to pay for the wifey.  ’ ‘  i don’t like it! it’s too much responsibility!  ’ ‘  shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? no, a summer’s day is not a bitch.  ’ ‘  gave me cookie, got you cookie! you gave me cookie, i got you cookie, man!  ’ ‘  back off, i’m starving!  ’ ‘  your job could be done by a vending machine.  ’ ‘  i thought god just didn’t give me abs.  ’ ‘  what you’re doing is illegal.  ’ ‘  i’m not taking advice from you. you pronounce the ‘g’ in ‘lasagna’.  ’ ‘  and i’m taking this remote because you always hit the info button by mistake.  ’ ‘  are we all just living in the mind of a giant?  ’ ‘  i don’t trust fish. they breath water! that’s crazy.  ’ ‘  do i regret it? yes. would i do it again? probably.  ’ ‘  i can’t work under pressure like this. you know i get nervous. i am just a man. i am not a god.  ’ ‘  first order of business: we eat their food.  ’ ‘  can i get an alcohol?  ’ ‘  if you are for one second suggesting that i don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!  ’ ‘  the bees are back!  ’ ‘  i haven’t gotten a non-text message in two years.  ’ ‘  the only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.  ’ ‘  the point of dating is just to keep on dating and then never stop. it’s like burning fossil fuels or seeing a therapist.  ’ ‘  you ever wonder if someone in here has killed someone?  ’ ‘  you realize i say ‘goodnight’ to you every night and you never say ‘goodnight’ back? what is your problem? do you not want me to have a good night?  ’ ‘  i’ve made out with half of the people in this room.  ’ ‘  i’ve had nightmares about making out with two of the guys in this room.  ’ ‘  ah! son of a bi– …penis. that wasn’t better.  ’ ‘  someone’s personalized condoms just came in the mail.  ’ ‘  i just found a groupon for hypnosis lessons. think about what you could do with that! sex stuff.  ’ ‘  has anyone seen my good peacoat?  ’ ‘  hahaha. what a dumb idea. do it!  ’ ‘  this is the coin i had in my pocket the first night we kissed. and i always have it.  ’ ‘  i feel like i want to murder someone and i also want soft pretzels.  ’ ‘  i hate doors!  ’ ‘  suck it, mr. krabs!  ’ ‘  no, i don’t dance. i’m from the town in footloose.  ’ ‘  are you sure you’re okay? you’re walking like a disney witch.  ’ ‘  he asked me if i wanted to watch planet of the apes. i didn’t know he meant right now.  ’ ‘  would you eat your damn sandwich?  ’ ‘  when you see a dog cage for sale, you buy it.  ’ ‘  you know… i don’t get what’s going on here.  ’ ‘  hey, you made a difference. how does it feel?  ’ ‘  do you have a tank top i could borrow? you look about my size.  ’ ‘  cheers to unemployment!  ’ ‘  i was about to catch you but then you fell.  ’ ‘  there are tampons hidden all around the apartment.  ’ ‘  i think somebody had sex in my bedroom last night. i think that because they’re still in there having sex, i think.  ’ ‘  please take that thing off. you look like a homeless pencil.  ’ ‘  we are gonna make it!  ’ ‘  i’m not ready to lose you. i just got you and i’m not letting you go.  ’ ‘  i can think of five reasons why i wanted to be your friend: boob, boob, vagina, butt cheek, butt cheek.  ’ ‘  actually, that’s not fair, she might be a really nice ho.  ’ ‘  i’m not doing squats or anything. i’m just trying to eat less donuts.  ’ ‘  you’re gonna be fine. you’re gonna meet somebody and you’re gonna fall in love.  ’ ‘  who’s gonna… lay down a flag on this sweet, sweet continent?  ’ ‘  i like to improvise with my body. i’m like a sexual snowflake. each night with me is a unique experience.  ’ ‘  you can run away from your problems, but you’re just gonna find new ones that pop up.  ’ ‘  i hope you like feminist rants ‘cause that’s my thing.  ’

[southerncharming-blog1]

loyaldaemon:

well, when you want to murder someone it’s at the most INCONVENIENT of times (such as the rant about your boyfriend leaving you; seriously, did you want the cops at the tent?).

besides! world domination and enslavement are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from murder.

People will eventually D I E if y’ take over th’ world an’ enslave ‘em, though. 

[southerncharming-blog1]

loyaldaemon:

is world domination a bad thing to wish for?

When I want t’ murder someone yer against THAT, but y’ wanna take over the entire world? An’ enslave people? Hmph.

[southerncharming-blog1]

                                Yᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴜᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ I ᴡᴀs ᴛʀᴀsʜ                                      Fᴏʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ..

[southerncharming-blog1]

Paz would be making faces at the person the whole time so in the middle of flirting they'd burst out laughing. Eventually they would give up and she would act like she had nothing to do with it.

Someone is hitting on my muse, how does yours react?

(omfg,, perfect.)

[bloomflowersbloom]

[southerncharming-blog1]

loyaldaemon:

                                            Now, William was a rather reasonable dream demon– a friendly guy, if you would; however, when it came to his “contracted partners,” he was a take-no-shit type of creature. Seeing Dipper so upset made him upset, but he wasn’t going to react on anger just yet. He was the type to follow quietly, to listen, and then slowly break someone down through their own mind.

                                            “master, as much as i get that you’d like this boy to greatly suffer– it also seems highly i r r a t i o n a l to do such a thing. it would bring suspicion to your sister and yourself and he were to, incidentally, end up burned and broken after breaking up with you.”

                                            A voice of reason before a demon of action, that was William Cipher. Thank the gods he had the patience of a SAINT.

Ah-- as much as Dipper wanted to argue, he knew that the dream demon was right. The brunet rolled his eyes and scoffed, a look of bemusement crossing his face. 

“FINE, William. No violence, I get it. ...I think there’s a way t’ make him suffer without torturin’ him physically.” He lightly tapped his chin and glanced back at Will. “I need yer help with it, though.”

[southerncharming-blog1]

loyaldaemon:

“…he dumped me.”

                                              Ooh, it took some self-control to not hiss at that. No one hurt his Master or Mistress, it was simply coded into him by now that those who caused them harm– even emotional– were to suffer.

                                              “if, it’s of any consolation to you, master gleeful,” Starts the demon, picking his words carefully, “i must agree. he doesn’t deserve you, nor the time and effort you put into those you care about. this is simply a trial that ended in error; the next time should, by logical standards, be better than the last because you’ll become more critical about certain traits and ideals that lead to the breakup.”

“I don’t need t’ hear any o’ that right now, y’ just don’t G E T I T!” Dipper scowled, his hands slowly curling into fists. He opened his eyes and huffed irritably, “I don’t WANT t’ hear this. What I W A N T is for y’ to get pissed. Because I’M pissed. I want that bastard t’ suffer greatly.”

[southerncharming-blog1]

loyaldaemon:

continue from x

                                              Well, that’s surely a new request. The twins usually asked for, what seemed, the whole world– and yet today all Dipper wanted of him was his company. Not that he would argue. So, slowly, he sits beside the smaller boy and folds his arms over his lap, a curious glow to his blue eyes.

                                              “would you like to converse about anything, master? or would you prefer silence?”

@southerncharming

“...he dumped me.” 

Dipper’s voice softened as he spoke up again, folding his arms across his petit chest. His eyes fluttered shut, his jaw growing tight. “Stupid idiot broke up with me through text. What kinda person does that? He doesn’t deserve me o r my attention! He can go straight t’ hell for all I CARE.”

[dragonroleplaystarters]

Starters | Kidnapped

“Hey there, sleeping beauty. You been out for a while.” 

“Shut up, stop fucking screaming!” 

“Oh, you want to fight me? That’s cute.” 

“Come on, you can take a hit better than that, can’t you?” 

“Fuck, stay down, would you?” 

“Don’t squirm so much, you’re going to hurt yourself and piss me off.” 

“You’ve got five seconds to get down on the ground again, or I’ll shoot.” 

“You need both legs to run, why don’t I break one?” 

“See, if you’d cooperated, I wouldn’t have had to hurt you.” 

“Easy, sweetheart. The barrel of the gun is cold, isn’t it?” 

“Open your mouth before I choke you with the gag, instead.” 

“Can’t see a thing, can you?” 

“Well, look who finally came around. Don’t bother looking around, you have no idea where we are.” 

“Such a pretty face, it’d be a shame to mess it up.” 

“I think you look pretty cute with a bloody lip. Don’t make me do it again.” 

“I’m prepared to keep you as long as I need to. Until I get what I want, you’re mine.”

“Listen, I’m what stands between you and death, so I suggest you give me some fuckin’ respect.”

“No one’s gonna came save you.” 

“I’ve been watching you for a while. This was almost easy.” 

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing out here by yourself?”

[ndoesmemes]

Someone is hitting on my muse, how does yours react?

Are they jealous? Protective? Doesn’t give a shit? Tell me!

[southerncharming-blog1]

loyaldaemon:

hey guys! if you wouldn’t mind interacting with a william cipher (reverse falls au bill), could you give this little post a like/reblog?

[southerncharming-blog1]

"is there anything i might do for you today, master gleeful?" (kickflips in y O YA YO YO)

“Keep me company t’day, William. That’s all I want.” Dipper drawled, his eyes half-lidded.