Southern Problems

the south will rise again!!

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Southerner Problems #19

I just say a new power drill was released at Home Depot but I spent all my money on a winchester Rifle...........

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Southerner Problems #18

I spent my paycheck on a new Winchester Rifle. It was a lever action. Betsy got mad and said I needed to have spent that on the bills. I never get to have anything nice........

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Southerner Problems #17

Audrey listens to loud music a lot in her room. I told her to turn it down one day because I couldn’t hear what Phil was saying to Willie and she slammed her door. I don’t know what to do with her. 

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Southerner Problems #16

I went to Tractor Supply the other day and they ran out of the regular feed I feed my chickens. I made it known I was disastisifed with this to the local employees and asked them to check the back but they said it wasn’t in the back and I had to settle on a different brand. How are my chickens gonna sleep soundly knowing their crawl is filled with off-brand corn? 

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Southerner Problems #15

Betsy won’t let me rip the sleeves to my favorite shirt. It’s the style all my buddies are wearing. Ripped sleaves and boot cut jeans over theyre scuffed cowboy boots. I just wanna fit in with my friends........

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Southerner Problems #14

Hunter would rather hang out with his friends than help me fix the fence so my cows don’t get lose. Kids these days have no respect......

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Southerner Problems #13

I couldn’t find my favorite camouflage shirt and I brought up to my son and he looked me in the eye and said “it’s because it’s camoflage daddy” and I ask God every night to punish my son for such a sin.

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Southerner Problems #12

All my friends can have southern flags on the back of their trucks stuck to their tailgates but Betsy said I’m not allowed to because it looks stupid but how are all my friends supposed to know I support the south

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Southerner Problems #11

Betsy made me take her to a cake walk our church was haven to raise money a couple days ago and she ended up winning 2 cakes but none of them was a flavor I liked so I have to watch my entire family enjoy cake while I sit out.......

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Sorry for being gone for so long

My WiFis been out for a while and I had to get madder than a bull to get the damn technician boy down to fix it. In that time, I had my son Hunter to make note of all the problems around the house and day to day so rest assured I am gonna be puttin up more 

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Southerner Problems #10

My wife told me today they’re wanting to remove good ole Nathan Bedford Forest’s body from Memphis public property because it was offensive and why do people get so offended over little things.............

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Southerner Problems #9

I took my family out to Applebees and some colored family was talkin real loud across from us............I made us all leave because I hate hearing loud people..........The kids will thank me later in life.......................

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Southerner Problems #8

My wife keeps naggin at me to get a Facebook so I finally got my son Hunter to make me one since he’s the computer genius in the family aside from his sister. I sent my friend Johnny a friend request 30 minutes ago but he hasn’t responded.........probably out fishin again but why would it say he’s online? 

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Southerner Problems #8

Betsy told me my garden wasnt lookin like it should so I told her i’m tryin my best but she won’t let me run the hose from the house down to the chicken yard where the garden is because of the water bill. How am I supposed to keep the goddamn plants watered when she won’t let me water em? Damn woman gonna be the death of me

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Southerner Problems #7

I came home today to find out Betsy made my favorite dish. She had corn bread and taters and home fresh green beans i picked out of the gardern but Audrey refused to eat because she hates southern cooking so I sent her to her room without any food. That girl is really somethin else.........

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Southern Problems #6

At work today Johnny was talkin about Obama and I remember my daughter Audrey usin some kinda word called “triggered” to describe somethin she got all hissy about so I told him not to metion Obama around me because he’s my trigger and now everyone at work uses triggered to Describe him. 

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Southerner Problems #5

I ran out of my Duck Dynasty soap today and had to go to Walmart to get them. Boycotting anti-Southern Pride places are hard.......