you've done your worst, you've tried your best, now it's time to rest [part 1]
[decided to come out with a bang with my first tamsy fic! for the gachi server timely prompt: first introduction - I present to you: Tamsy and Zekaryah meeting! and some angst because is it truly ME if I don't write some angst]
[SPOILERS FOR GACHIAKUTA 165]
tw: implied MCD (don't worry it gets resolved just - not yet), general angst, references to torture (nothing graphic just implied)
word count: 1833
Death was a natural part of life. Cleaners died. That was always part of the job description. There was always a chance that you could die.
That's why it was always risky getting close to someone. You never knew when it could be your turn on the chopping block.
This mission should have been easy. It didn't seem like anything out of the ordinary, nothing two experienced cleaners and one supporter couldn't handle. Even though they should have had more, it seemed that every other supporter was either on another mission or recovering, forcing Corvus to break his own protocol and only assign three people to this mission. It all should have been fine.
There was blood on Tamsy's hands.
Gris was driving as fast as as he could with blood covering one of his eyes, but Tamsy couldn't find himself caring about getting back to base safely. He just needed to make it back before he was gone too far. He was barely breathing now. Every breath seemed to take more and more of his depleting energy. If they didn't hurry, he was going to die in the back of this car.
The fight replayed in Tamsy's head. Logically, with his distaff and his sphere, this should have gone smoothly. Tie up the giant beast, stab it through the core, then make it back to the base in time to enjoy some drinks before relaxing the next day. That was always their plan and their plans usually worked fantastically.
But how this beast broke through Tokushin, Tamsy didn't know. However, he knew he would forever remember the moment the tail end of the beast stabbed him through the chest.
It shouldn't have happened.
Nothing was supposed to break through Tokushin. The more they struggled, the more they suffered.
Yet here he was - seeing the proof of his own ego bleed through his fingers as he watched the man he loved die so slowly and painfully. He knew they weren't immortal. Nobody was. And yet, he held onto the foolish hope that they would be the exception to the rule.
"Tams," he rasped, voice barely carrying over the sound of the car rumbling down the road.
"Don't talk." Tamsy tried to hide the way his voice broke. "You'll waste your energy."
This shouldn't be how he was going to die. It was too soon, too painful.
"Tams, look at me." He tried again, reaching a bloody hand up, gently forcing Tamsy to look at his face and not the blood pooling around his hands. "I'm so sorry.'
"Don't - no." The words were stuck in Tamsy's throat. "I don't want to hear it. Not like this. Not now."
He looked at him, the last twinkle of light in his dying grey eyes fading as he gave him a smile. The same charming smile he had when they met, the same one he had when they started working together on research.
"No, please no." Tamsy couldn't help the tears welling up in his eyes. "Please you promised me you wouldn't go."
He didn't answer. He would never answer.
Tamsy cradled his head, finally letting the tears fall as Gris pulled into headquarters. He looked so peaceful, so calm. Tamsy wasn't sure how he would be able to accept his death like this, especially since he loved him more than he could ever say.
He still remembers the first night he met Zekaryah, when he was still trapped on the Sphere, when he was still just an object to be placed on a pedestal and admired.
He couldn't remember what compelled him to sneak out of his tower that night, but he remembered how nice it had been outside.
The breeze whispered through the trees, carrying the smell of the fresh cherry blossoms with them. He hadn't bothered to put on shoes and he remembered how the cold concrete felt against the soles of his feet, how nice it felt not to be an object for the evening. He knew it wouldn't be long before someone noticed he wasn't where he was supposed to be and hunted him down.
But for now, he couldn't help but enjoy the freedom and the freshness that came with the night.
He had been in his head, sitting by one of the cherry trees and spinning some yarn with his distaff and spindle that he always carried with him, admiring how the fallen petals looked floating in the fountain when he heard the sound of the cane hitting against the ground. His first instinct was to run, to hide behind the fountain and stay out of the sight of whichever guard was sent to hunt him down. The voices became clearer as they became closer and he realized they weren't guards. They were strangers.
"Alto said not to touch or take anything." The taller one said, his coat trailing behind him and he carried something over his shoulder, but Tamsy couldn't make out what it was in the low light.
"They have thousands of books up here, Enjin. I doubt they will miss one or..." The one with the cane hesitated for a moment, looking at the bag at his side. "Five. Look, what Alto doesn't know won't kill him."
They were teenagers still. Skinny and gangly. They hadn't seen Tamsy, he doubted they would. He should have run away the second he heard their voices, but something about them caught his attention. They were unlike anyone that Tamsy had met.
"But Alto said," the one called Enjin started to say before being cut off by the laugh of the one with the cane.
"But Alto said," he mocked. "Since when were you such a stickler for what Alto says, Enjin? I've never known you to care to follow every rule he sets for us."
Clearly this was a well worn argument between the two. Tamsy couldn't help but continue to curiously listen, despite the voice in his head telling him to run.
"It's not that I want to follow the rules all the time, but that's like the one rule he gave us. We can explore, we just can't take." Enjin was taller than the one with the cane, casting an intimidating shadow over his accomplice, but he didn't seem intimidated at all.
"Look, go find Alto. I'll return the books and what he doesn't know won't kill him." His voice had a clear smile to it.
"Will you actually return the books?" Enjin seemingly glared at him.
"Absolutely! Just let me do it before Alto finds out. I'm not too fond of public humiliation in the form of a lecture from him." He was lying. Tamsy could tell by the fake sweetness that seemed to drive into voice, it was the same tone the Priest used when he gave directions to him.
A moment of silence passed as Enjin left, headed in the direction of the chapel. He held his breath for a moment, hoping the one with a cane would leave in the direction of the library. Just so he could slip back to the confines of his tower, completely unnoticed by the guards.
"You can come out now. I promise I won't hurt you." His voice was calm, if not a bit exhausted.
Fear ran down Tamsy's spine. He had been perfectly quiet. There was no way he should know. His body followed the directions without him even thinking about it. The Priest had trained him to follow every order without question, even if it caused him pain.
Standing in front of him, Tamsy tried to keep his composure. The Angel in his head wasn't happy about it, but it was better than lashing out. This man didn't deserve the wrath of the Angel.
"I apologize for intruding, sir." He bowed, not really looking at Tamsy. "My mentor brought us here and I got extremely distracted by your library."
"It is a wonderful place." Tamsy surprised himself by keeping his voice steady. "I apologize for interrupting your conversation with your friend."
"Nonsense." He stood up, giving him a smile that made Tamsy's heart flutter. "Enjin rarely says stuff worth listening to anyway."
In the pale moonlight, now that he wasn't hiding behind the fountain, he got a good look at the man. His hair was a soft blond, much like his own, mixed with a deep crimson red. Paired with grey eyes that seemed to shimmer in the night, part of Tamsy was afraid to admit that he was attractive. His clothes were unlike anything Tamsy had seen on the sphere. There was so much color, Tamsy wanted to take his time and admire it all.
"Where are my manners?" He passed his cane to his opposite hand, reaching out his left hand towards Tamsy. "Zekaryah McCannon."
"Tamsy Caines." He reached out to shake Zekaryah's hand, barely being able to hide his shock as Zekaryah leaned down to kiss the top of his hand.
"I do intend to return these books." He stood up again, that same smile on his face as he took a step back from Tamsy's hand. "I apologize for interrupting your evening stroll, Mister Caines."
"It's perfectly fine." He pulled his hand close to his body, trying to hide how bashful he had become at the brief physical contact from Zekaryah. "You are right. They won't notice if you take one or five books."
Zekaryah laughed, a clean crisp laugh. "I still ought to. My mentor will publicly lecture me for months if he finds out and I'd like to be able to come back here at least a few more times."
"Any particular reason?" Tamsy cocked his eyebrow.
"Maybe. But we can have that conversation later." Zekaryah bowed again. "Good night Mister Caines."
"Good night Mister McCannon." Tamsy watched, trying to fight a small smile as Zekaryah walked away.
He hoped there was a chance they would see each other again.
Tamsy sat in their bed, trying to rid his mind of the image of Zekaryah's dead body laying in front of him as he slowly spun the fibers that were wrapped around his jinki.
A knock sounded on the door, tearing Tamsy away from his mindless work.
His legs were shaking as he walked to open the door, his distaff abandoned on the bed. It felt like he was going to meet the Priest again. It felt like he was becoming the Angel again. He couldn't help the fear rising up in his body.
Corvus held Wisp in his hands. The fire poker seemed so lifeless without Zekaryah. It was freezing when Corvus passed it to him.
He couldn't help but fall to the ground, the floodgate finally breaking as he sobbed and clutched the jinki close to his chest. There were no words to could be said at this moment. There were no words that Tamsy wanted to hear. This was a simple enough message.
Zekaryah was dead.
And there wasn't much that Tamsy could do to fix that.
[part 2 to come soon!! it was too long for this prompt and I needed some time to rework my original idea with the new information that we get with each chapter! I hope you enjoy!]
