Space’s Summer Chronicles 2 #2: Narcissus
I think I’m out of my depth. At first glance, spending two weeks by the sea with my 8 year old cousins sounded nice: we’d play, they’d play amongst themselves, we’d have fun, but I’d probably get my alone time cause my parents and my aunt would also be with us.
Sigh. Man, I’ve been here for 2.5 days and I’m already sick of them. And they aren’t even being all that annoying! I sleep in the living room with them and when they wake up at 8 am I can’t go back to sleep so I’m a little sleep deprived. I’m currently savoring the silence on a towel on the sand while they swim in the sea, beckoning me to join them. Cruel irony, truly, that the path to my usual sweet escape (the depths of the sea) is currently blocked off. I hope they swim a while. At least two hours. I want to listen to music. But I also want to close my eyes and listen to the wave. We’ll see, maybe I’ll do both. Some random woman is yelling at her child in earshot. Fuck off. I don’t care.
I feel like a moody teenager desperately wanting to be left alone. That time isn’t particularly far in my past but it’s still a weird feeling. I take a deep breath in and I let a deep breath out. I need to be alone.
I’m waiting for job news. I hope I get it. I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t. I’ll manage, surely, but….I miss thriving. I’m meant to thrive. This is a temporary setback. I’ll be back, better than ever. Soon.
I got a sunburn on my shoulders, which is poetic. Should be impossible cause my skin is highly resistant to burning and I used a bougie sunscreen. It was from last year though, so maybe it expired. Bummer.
I’m not sure what the format of these summer chronicles will be this year, but I’m thinking stream of consciousness. Last year’s format also featured some stream of consciousness but by the end of it it was just me retelling my days. We’ll see how that turns out this year.
I snuck a look at myself in the mirror and I look great. I think I’m close to being what I want. Which feels crazy cause I’ve also never felt further in some other aspects. Sigh. Breathe.
I’m waiting for my dad to bring bacon cheese cucumber sandwiches to the beach hehe
I’m hungryyy
I also haven’t shaved in a week damn I need to do that














