You may have noticed already with the lack of Valentines event, but it’s true, I’m no longer going to be hosting Spamano Week.
I apologize for this revelation, but it’s just not fun for me anymore. I feel like the event hardly gets attention, and as it stands, I’m sort of distant from the public Hetalia fandom nowadays.
If anyone would like to take over the blog, I’m willing to give up the url. Just DM me.
Thanks for the fun past few years of running this event, I enjoyed it greatly! The Spamano Server is still active if anyone is set on joining, and from time to time I may run server-exclusive events, but as of right now, I’m done with public events.
doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of winter and you’re standing in front of the sea, antonio shows his boyfriend that with a good thermos and not-so-subtle hugs they can keep the cold away, together.
A reminder that if your gift has not been posted yet, your Santa may be late! Do not worry, we’re handling it! Some gifts will arrive late, but that’s okay, you’ll get a gift regardless, no matter what.
And Merry Christmas everybody! Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, or Happy Yule. Whatever it is you celebrate, or if you don’t celebrate at all, I hope you’re having a good Holiday season and a good Winter!
Merry Christmas and enjoy your gift :) I hope I did not fully missinterpret your prompts… i rechecked after finishing and was not sure anymore if they belonged togehter or not. But enjoy nevertheless!
Regards
Yami ( @xherzasx )
Scares
… are stories written on the body
Antonio.
Let me tell you how I met Antonio.
Or like I call him… the bastard Antonio.
It was in Belem, home of the famous “Pastei de Nata” and Europe’s door to the world, located in Portugal!
I had just started working at the docks and since I was far away from home I spend my evenings in the little taverns that were everywhere. I liked it very much because there were lots and lots of travellers and sailors from all over the world. And they all told their stories when they had drunk a glass or two.
And there was one guy in particular, that caught my attention. Because he just told the best stories. And he did not just tell them, he kind of acted them out. That night he was standing on the counter of the bar, amazingly balancing between all the mugs with a guitar in his hands. Yes it was very over the top, but everybody’s eyes were glued on him. There was laughter and mugs slamming on wood as applause. The story? To be honest I cannot remember that one. Others yes, and they were always about amazing adventures on the wide sea, but that night I could not focus.
At least not on his words.
I was more focused on the little wrinkles around his eyes, when he smiled. His eyes stuck out very much by the way, because his skin was dark from the sun and they were emerald green. Also his smile stuck out because it was bright… very bright. And excited… and honest. His fingers went over the guitar smoothly but it also looked kind of funny because he wore a white shirt with long sleeves and they kind of fell over his hands, so you really just saw his fingertips. He had just finished his story and others had started to tell theirs, still he lazily strummed some tunes along but it became a bit quieter in the tavern. I didn’t know why but I kept staring and I guess he got that strange feeling at some point when you sense that someone is staring at you. His head turned very sudden and our eyes met. I almost jumped because I felt so caught. But instead of looking away I just kept staring, but I might have blushed as well… very hard. I could see him looking back at me for a moment, but with a blank expression. Then his lips curled up and he smiled at me. Needless to say I blushed even more, but I still did not look away.
What made us actually break eye contact was a rumour beside me. Two heavily drunk man had been arguing and now they were both so enraged that they had thrown over the table and had drawn their daggers. Naturally as in a good bar fight, a circle had formed around them. And since the table I had been sitting on had been pushed away for that I was also suddenly standing there in the first row, directly at the bar counter …with no way to escape. But the two men were really not able anymore to fight properly so the first attracter stumbled pushing another chair over which then caused me to tumble to the left… and I by accident knocked a mug to the ground. I heard it crash to the ground and as I looked up I saw a very fuming and very huge guy looking down at me. Oh god that man would kill me! No reasoning possible.
I held my hands up in defence as he grabbed my collar. Then suddenly there was a loud and ugly cracking sound and the man fell to the ground. I now saw a guitar neck directly in front of me. The hot guy had walked over the counter and had struck the man in the face with his guitar. Damn that must be one hell of a guitar.
I could not say anything because that last action had caused a chain reaction and within seconds there was a full blown bar fight going on.
Even though I tried to get out a „thank you“ (let´s be honest I was telling a story here, it was probably some curses) I was yanked up the bar counter and found myself in that guys arms, his face suddenly so near to mine I could see how fucking long his eye lashes where.
“You ok?”, I heard him ask, as he stepped back on the bar counter, pulling me with him and away from the forming fight.
I finally snapped out of my daze and nodded, while grabbing his arms so I would not stumble too much around.
“Yes, thanks”, I answered breathlessly and tried to see where we would head. A man appeared in front of us holding the leg of a broken chair. Since uh… let’s call him hot sailor for now (even though I knew his name was Antonio, I did not know that at this point of the story), had his back turned to the man he would not see that we were about to get knocked down. As I looked down to see if we could jump from the bar counter I saw a mug still standing on the counter and without thinking I just kicked it and thank god I managed to hit the man in the face.
In the meantime my sailor also had noticed something but his eyes where only fast enough to follow he mug and as it hit its target his lips curled again and he clicked his tongue impressed.
“Nice kick, my dear”, he exclaimed and gave the tumbling man a soft notch with his guitar to let him sink to the floor.
I felt the smallest grin on my face. Even though I did not like to get into fights, this was kind of exciting, and so far it had went very well for us. Then I saw a window beside bar just a few steps away and this time without hesitation I pushed the other a bit back. He understood fast tough and in just a second we reached the window which he kicked open easily.
He turned a bit so I could jump out first, but as I tuned I was faced with a guitar again. His smiling face appeared behind it.
“Would you be so kind to hold this… I kind of want to help to end this fight. I like the owner and I don´t want this place to be fully smashed.”, he hold me with an honest smile.
It did something with my heart… Normally I would just go away but this time I shrugged and got a hold of the guitar. The thin wood still felt warm where his fingers had touched it. I suddenly had the feeling that this was something special, and not something he would ask anybody.
He tilted his head and smiled again, winking at me.
“Gracias~”
And without further ado, he went right back in.
I decided to not stay near the window, and this was a good thing because a few seconds later someone came flying out of it. I ran out of the narrow street onto the little square that was around the docks. There were people running to the bar from everywhere. It was kind of an attraction to the people I guess. I went really carefully not to bump into someone while holding the guitar until I found a little corner where I would hopefully not attract any attention.
Time was suddenly going so slow as I felt my adrenalin ebb away…. And I kind of could not stop thinking about that stranger who’s guitar I was holding. I was not sure what it was that I found so exciting about him but it was stupid to deny that in general. I definitely was curious and wanted to find out more about him. Good thing was I had his guitar, so he had to come to find me eventually and then I would take my opportunity.
…or so I thought… He did find me very soon after but he was kind of in a rush. As I peeked onto the square there was suddenly someone pushing me a few steps back into the dark alley I was hiding in.
“Ah found you…”, I could hear his breathless voice. He had to lean against the wall a bit, clasping his side. His other hand was rubbing over his bleeding lips and then he licked them a bit, finally bursting in laughter.
“Did they beat the shit out of you”, I asked also not really managing to suppress a really tiny (I swear) grin. He nodded happily.
“Almost, but I lead them away for a while”, he countered and then looked up again his curly brown hear falling a bit over his piercing eyes. Damn… “Thanks for taking care of my precious guitar”, he continued and stepped again so close I could observe all the smiling wrinkles around his eyes and lips. Also I could smell a faint saint of myrrh, which gave me Goosebumps.
I swallowed a bit, not letting go of the guitar because that was my only connection to him and at the same time the only thing that was in-between us at the moment. Focus Lovino, Focus!
“No problem….?”, I murmured and also tilting my head in a questioning manner. His smile got brighter.
“ Antonio Carriedo”, he continued for me, “and you my handsome fellow are?”
I might have blushed again, but I was also kind of surprised of myself that I did not already had cussed out and strangled that bastard in front of me. I must get sick or something…
“So you’re Spanish…”, I simply stated, that would confirm my tip on his accent. “I´m Lovino… Vargas”
Antonio tiled his head again, his eyebrows a bit crooked.
“ah… Vargas sounds Spanish as well but that cute first name… what is it?”
“It´s Italian”, I huffed. “And it’s not cute Idiot!”
This gesture made him snicker a bit and he leaned in even more.
“Well my not cute Italian with the not cute language, what a nice coincidence that we met here. Let me thank you again for the help…”
Without waiting for an answer he just kissed me right on the lips. I was Italian, so I knew the southern people kissed a lot…but not like that! … Not that I would complain… I think my hand had even wandered to rest on his arm.
Before I could let the feeling sink in that this was not just a peck but his lips actually stayed on mine and where super soft, a loud yell echoed through the ally.
“There he is!!”
I could literally feel his face fall, as his lips tightened a bit and he exhaled a little bit against my lips. “Damn… why now…”, he grumbled but parted from me, his smile a bit faltered.
He seemed to debate with himself, but as he heard steps coming closer he grabbed his guitar and stepped away.
“Thanks again, I hope to see you around my not cute Italian!”, where his shouted words as he left the ally, his eyes and his lips smiling brightly as he looked back at me again.
I snapped out of my day dream and shook my head.
Damn, that evening had been five years ago! And I never had seen Antonio again…. But I guess it was kind of stupid to think that such a coincidence would happen oh so often.
“… where you even listening?”, another voice scolded me and I looked to the side. I was now a sailor myself, working on a merchant ship and right now we were storing our cargo, safely tying it to the side of the ship so it would not move and crush someone during the long journey. We would deliver a lot of goods back to Europe, all the stuff that you could not yet get there. Spices and seeds for exotic fruits and vegetables.
“… you were saying that…”, I continued but I really could not remember what was said. “… sorry I was focused on tying this…”, I lied, it was easier.
The other man was not fully convinced but he said nothing and waited until we went up to the deck again to catch some breath. He could not understand why I was so unfazed by this imported topic that was holding the whole sea on high alert.
“… so I was just saying they are all really horrible. Not just the captain! And they have one signature mark! They have all a scare all over their cheek, like this!”, he continued and let his thump slide from the corner of his lip up to his cheekbone.
“They say it’s a ritual, to join the crew!… those bloody pirates! I hope we will not encounter them!”
I just snorted.
“The sea is like endless! How big is the chance that they will encounter us…”
I saw in the eyes of my shipmate that he was horrified by my words and he spat on the deck to avoid the bad luck I was conjuring on us. Why where all sailors so superstitious? Maybe because the sea was a force that could not be controlled by a human so they needed to have something mightier to get a grip on?
And maybe I should have been a bit more open to that too because it was after two weeks on sea that we saw the feared flag with white bones on black ground.
While the others on the ship went to panic (we were no fighters after all), I was just shocked as I watched the ship come closer in fast speed. I had been always very realistic in my whole life, so I knew that the chances to survive this were very very narrow. There were not many options. We could give up the cargo, and they might let us go. But they also could do with us what pirates do to the people they plunder… urg….
I grabbed my saber and got on the highest point of the deck to see better. It was not enough so I climbed up to the first mainstay. There I could concentrate on what to see and maybe find another option for us. There where around 30 people on the other ship as far as I could see, so we were 10 people short. And not only that, we all were not fighters… There was one person that caught my attention because they stuck out from the others event through they were far away. They had a blood red coat and a black hat. Must have been the captain! Right now he was holding his saber into the air and then they let it snap down, pointing at our ship.
The next thing I could see and hear was a loud bang and black fog walling around the pirate ship. Then a tremor went through our ship, wood bursting in all directions directly below me. I was not ready for that and lost my balance, screaming.
I must have hit the ground hard, because after a second of falling everything went black. I just heard nasty noises and cracks and screams and the metallic sound of swords clashing into each other. But it all sounded very far away. As if I was under water. Was this really how I would die?
Slowly I could also feel a soft pull to the surface and everything got louder and louder by the second. To regain consciousness again was like bursting through the surface of water, fighting to get air into your lungs. I did not even manage to breathe in fully as the air was knocked out of my lungs again. I ripped open my eyes in shock just to see a boot crashing into my chest and smashing me on the ground again. I coughed violently, it hurt so fucking much and grabbed the boot with both arms to push it away but it was no use. My view was clouded because the sharp pain had caused me to tear up. I only could see a red figure standing over me. Since I was not able to get any more air into my lungs I started to lose my consciousness again, knowing that around me everybody was also just facing their death. All the people I had been with in the last two years on the ship, would be gone in a few moments. And so would I. But I wanted to see… I wanted to see who had done this, but everything was fading so fast. Suddenly I could feel something sharp and hard clicking against my gritted teeth. And then something warm and metallic tasting touched my tongue… oh god… was this blood… of someone else dripping down a sword and into my mouth? Would my blood be the next to be sacrificed to that death steel?
But no swift movement came. Instead I could feel a sharp pain on one corner of my lip as if my face was about to be sliced open.
The last image that shot through my mind was the one of a ugly face with a scar all over its checks just like in the story my shipmate had told me before.
This time as I felt my senses kicking in again I was so sure I was dead. Why? Because I was laying on something very soft, I felt the warmth of sun on my skin, it smelled like ink, paper and myrrh… and it was calm. Oh so calm. No dying and screaming humans around me, no sounds of a fight. I must have died. Maybe that was not so bad after all? Suddenly I felt the need to swallow and moved my lips, because my mouth was dry as fuck. And I felt a sharp pain in my check and lip. … That was odd. Shouldn’t death be pain free? Very slowly I felt the rest of my body, or what was left of it… because it hurt sooo much… most of it coming from my chest and my head. Fuck… I groaned a bit, still unable to move.
Suddenly there was a soft touch on my not hurting check, it was so soft it startled me even more than all the pain I was feeling.
“Ah… you are awake…”, I heard a soft whisper, that sounded very very relived. That voice, it sounded somehow familiar. I gasped a bit as I felt something moving the soft ground I was lying on, as if someone sat down. Then that smell of myrrh got more intense. The finger tips never left my face as they went more up to gently comb through my hair. It felt nice in-between all the pain and I let out a relived sigh. I managed to peak one eye open. Even though it took some time for my vision to clear I saw those green piercing eyes first. And I recognized them immediately. My mouth still was so very dry and it felt like I had not spoken in years but I managed to coax out something that sounded a bit like “Antonio”. My vision got better and I opened my other eye too just in time to see those eyes bright up a bit, he was smiling. I wanted to see it, so my eyes wandered down slowly, and then widened in shock.
…there…. There was a scar! It started in the very corner of Antonio’s smiling lips and wind itself up until it almost reached the laughing wrinkles at the side of his eyes.
“NO….”, I breathed out in horror, as I could not wrap my mind around what happened. Antonio’s smile did not falter one bit. Ne nodded.
“Yes… it’s me! So you remember me?”, he cooed, leaning down a bit. I felt kind of sick right now, as imaged flashed through my mind that this smiling face had just murdered a lot of people.
“You…”
“I..”, he leaned in even further so our noses were almost touching. I gripped the sheets in horror.
“YOU did this”, I spat out. “Pirate… you killed my people.”
I´ve never seen a smile freeze in such an ugly way. First his eyes went wide and their colour vanished in one split of a second. His smile was still there but it seemed stretched too much, as if it was a grimace.
“You think…”, he began with a low voice.
“I´ve seen it!”, I cut him off, finding the strength to lean on my elbows. He was dangerous, but my rage just took over for a moment. “I´ve seen your scar…”
Now his eyes started to change a bit, his eyebrows crooked and if I did not know I had a cold hearted pirate just leaning over me I would say he really looked hurt. But that surly must have been my imagination.
His hands wandered to my shoulders. I panicked slightly because I feared he would strangle me any minute. Then I felt he was pushing me back down… onto the bed.
He said something but I did not hear it, all I could think of was to get out of this situation. So I did the first thing that came to my mind. I gave him a head-butt. I heard a nasty crack and a groan from his side which made me sure I had just broken his nose. His grip on my shoulders loosened so I could crawl away from under the pirate. A sharp pain shot through my chest as I turned a bit to get on my hands and knees but I ignored it for now. I saw a candle on a brass holder directly beside the bed, nestled in the bulls eye and grabbed it. As I turned I could see he had stood up. His face was smeared with blood and he was clasping his hand over his nose so I could not see his expression right now.
“Get away from me!”, I screamed and threw the holder. He had to step back to dodge it.
“Fucking Bastard! You think I will give up easily!?”, I screamed and again felt tears welling up in my eyes as again the realization sunk in that the guy I had kept thinking about the last few years was in fact a murder. One of the worst kind. One of the scar faced pirates! If not THE scar faced pirate who had given the commando to bomb our ship!
“Wait, Lo-…”, he started but I grabbed the next thing I could reach, violently blinking to get the tears away.
“Don´t you say my name!”, I hissed and threw more stuff at him. It caused him to retreat to the door, which was wide open.
“Please…” he begun but I let him not go further. I had found a dagger lying on a chair beside the bed and I threw it. He was just fast enough to close the door behind him so the dagger went hitting the wood.
As it fell shut my eyes fell onto the key that was in the keyhole of the door. Even though I had to hiss because it hurt so much, I managed to get up quickly and jump to the door. With a relieving click I heard the lock snap in place… I was safe for now.
Only then when I allowed myself to sink to the floor I had to let the tears flow that I had been not able to blink away.
“…are you crying?”, came a soft hum from outside of the door that actually startled me. Is sounded really worried, I could not believe it belonged to such a bad person. In general the picture of Antonio I had and a pirate where not matching at all. But on the other hand… I did not know him in the first place.
“No I´m not…”, I said and furiously rubbed my sleeve over my eyes. There was only a soft sigh on the other side as an answer. I felt really devastated but not seeing him and hearing him made me somehow open my mouth.
“…why am I still alive…? Why didn’t you kill me like all the others?”, I asked and sat down by the door, trying to find a position that did not hurt so much.
There was a short silence on the other side and then a soft thud. He must have sat down against the door as well.
“Will you listen to my explanation?”, Antonio questioned back.
“Listen yes. Believe… why should I believe a pirate?”, I hissed and I heard as soft hum on the other side.
“Well that’s a start I guess…”, was the muffled answer. And then after a moment he started speaking.
“So I know that when I start with “I am not a pirate”, you will stop listening so maybe I start with explaining how I got this scar?”, where his first words and in deed I snorted at the words “I am not a pirate”. But it also made me curious. I mean what was there to loose.
“You know this scar is really the trademark of Scarecrow. He is the pirate captain who is most feared on the sea. And it is true that all members of his crew have this scar. But do you know that there are two ways to join the crew actually? One is you want to join, so you have to cut your cheek open by yourself to prove it. And the second way is because Scarecrow is interested in you, so he will capture you, cut your face open and then he will break you, physically and mentally.”
I swallowed. I could only imagine what this must mean and I guess this was not even the worst things to imagine.
“If you have this scar… there is nowhere to go for you, even if you are not a pirate. Because everybody will recognize and try to kill you. That would mean either be killed by scarecrow or … join. And I know what you are thinking since I am still alive, I joined…. At least for a moment… until I had healed enough to get away.”
I could not really believe my ears, so I said nothing.
“So yeah, I have nowhere to go anymore, so I stay here on the sea with other people who have no place they belong anymore. It is really not that bad. And that way… that way I could save you! We´ve seen smoke on the horizon and as we arrived we thought everybody was dead… hell I thought you were dead too. You almost would have become a Scarecrow victim too, but I guess they thought you died while they were giving you the scar, so they stopped…”
I didn´t have payed much attention to my face but now my hand automatically shoot up to my cheek. There was a bandage but it was not over my whole cheek.
“… well if you are lucky the scar will not so bad that it will get recognized as one of them…”, Antonio continued.
“And I don´t want you to think that you are a prisoner here, we will not keep you, you can go as soon as we reach the next haven… and when I made sure that your wounds are treated well… just that. Lovino. Please.”
Wow, he still remembered my name after 5 years. And he really sounded honest. But he could also just tell me this silly story and would enjoy my horrified face when I would believe it and come out so he could crush me. I did not know what to think about it, I felt my head starting to hurt a lot. I felt like I needed to rest. I could not wrap my head around this. I was angry, scared… I wanted to believe though. But that was tough.
“I… don´t know if I believe you… leave me alone, Bastard”, I eventually said and it sounded less angry as I wanted it to. It just sounded exhausted.
I heard a soft laugh to that. It sounded a bit relieved and it stirred something in the pit of my stomach.
“Take all the time you need, dear. Rest and think about it. You have the key to this door after all.”
I looked at the bed, but for the moment I was just too tired to move.
„I won´t come out“, i said weakly, as I did not hear him for I don´t know how long.
“… well you´ve got to eat something eventually”, a muffled voice was heard through the door.
I snorted a bit, even though I knew he was right. But that hat time. Drinking was more of a concern. With nothing to say to that and nothing better to do I let my eyes wander over the room. I did not pay much attention to it until now.
It was the room in the back of the ship and I guess the only one with more than just bull eye windows. Which must mean it was the room of the captain of the ship. There was a lot of stuff in this room, on every surface you could find things like shells, paper, ink glasses and the walls where plastered with maps, feathers and so on. My eyes fell on the guitar that was hanging on one of the walls and it shot a pang trough my heat because it was the very same guitar that I had held 5 years ago. I starred at it for a moment until I could tear my eyes away. On one side of the room there was the bed, which was also normally really rare on a ship and on the other side there was a big desk. And the desk was loaded with parchment and maps. There were feathers and compasses lying around. There were not only maps there were also lots and lots of drawings.
Of islands, of all kind of birds and animals i´ve never seen before… but I guess they lived in the water. Was all of this Antonio’s stuff? If was pretty exciting, if such things really existed… I kind of felt the longing to see all of this with my own eyes.
Then I spotted a bottle of wine that was resting on a shelf beside the desk and… (I felt my mouth water up) fresh tomatoes. Where did he get those on the sea!?
My interest was caught so I managed to stand up and slowly went to the desk, and sat down in the big cosy chair. I took the bottle of wine and one of the tomatoes, and felt a grin on my face.
“Well, I think I won’t need any food or drinks for a while…”, I said slowly.
“What do you-“, was the startled question but then it got silent as I popped the cork from the bottle.
“…. Noooo not my wine and…. and… my tomatoes!!”, I suddenly heard a really heartfelt whine form the door, and I think I also heard a head bang against it. I had taken a sip of the wine first, and I immediately felt heat well up in my cheeks. I must have been the first thing I was getting into my system for a long time, and with the injury’s weakening me, I felt lightheaded immediately…and feisty.
“Serves you right, stupid pirate”, I hissed.
“Looovii….”
I stopped in my motion to get another gulp.
“What did you just call me?”, I asked dangerously and held up the tomato even though I knew he could not see it, I knew he would get the message from the tone of my voice.
I heard him gulp and shift in front of the door.
“Ahh… I thought it was cute. Please do nothing hasty!”
“Give me one good reason..”, I said somehow finding this quite amusing.
He was quiet for a minute or two, not being able to think of something I guess so he eventually just started to whine that stupid Lovi pet name again so I eat the tomatoes… ALL of them!
Since that bastard did not leave at all, so I could sneak out I decided to go to sleep. Everything was hurting anyway but with the alcohol had eased my mind and with and some food in my system too I managed to sleep fast.
After a day I had everything explored what was to explore in the room. I also might have found something like a diary of the captain and it was all kind of stories and descriptions of places he had found. It really sounded like the Antonio from 5 years ago. Maybe he had not changed at all? Maybe what he had told was the truth?
I looked up eventually, feeling not being able anymore to ignore that feeling of thirst. I got up and walked to the door. Antonio had stopped talking about random stuff for some time now. Not that I had listened to what he had explained about the maps and so on.
I put an ear to the door, but I really could hear nothing. Then I bent down and took the key out of the lock to look trough. I could see a narrow floor outside which was lit by a lamp on the ground. And beside that lamp there was a still figure cramped on the ground. I shifted my position a bit to see better. I only saw someone sitting at the floor, their head bent to the side so I could not see the face. On the floor beside the lamp was a tray with food and a goblet with water. No there were two plates with food, only one was already empty. … So one must have been for… me? Oh god, that food looked so good… but I could not sneak it in with him not waking up… it was not a trap was it?
As I thought about what to do, the man on the ground stirred a little bit and let out a soft hum. Then his face turned so I could see it, illuminated by the lamp. Even tough that scar gave me a sinking feeling in my stomach, Antonio’s face was still the same as I remembered it. It looked beautiful and relaxed in the soft light, the scar not distorting it at all. He could not be bad… he did not look like the kind of guy who was heartless and soulless and able to murder and plunder like pirates did right?
I managed to step back from the door and pondered a bit with myself. Then I took the key and as quietly as possible unlooked the door. Damn these old things were so loud… I didn’t even know how I managed to get open that door without so much creaking but I did. Even though I was not really sure if I dealt with a pirate here I felt my heartbeat getting faster. I hunched down to the floor and reached for the tray just very carefully to pull it inside. Then I closed it again and looked it before I allowed myself to breathe again. Antonio had not made the slightest move during all that even though I was pretty sure I had bumped his boot with the tray and his eyes had fluttered just a little bit.
The next morning I woke up and felt a lot better. I guess my chest was healing just fine and my cheek did also not hurt that bad anymore. I yawned and turned to face the room. Then I shoot up. The tray I had placed beside the bed was gone. My eyes automatically darted to the door: it was closed but the key was gone. I felt a bit of panic walling up in me as I jumped out of the bed and running to the door. It was still locked and I stepped on the key, that was lying on the floor.
“I took the liberty to look the door again and slide the key into the room after taking the dirty plates away”, a voice from the outside said. It sounded easy but the words where carefully spoken.
“Wha…. How did you get in??”, I stuttered grabbing the key from the floor.
“… well I am kind of advanced in lock picking…”, Antonio answered honestly, but it again sounded very carefully. It confused my genuinely.
“Then why the fuck did you not make your way in earlier?”, I demanded to know. It was quiet for a second, and then I heard a careful chuckle.
“Well… I didn’t want you to feel threatened by me. I wanted you to let me in yourself, when you felt safe enough.”
I felt flattered and annoyed at the same time about his choice of words and snorted.
“Why did you blow your cover so stupidly now?”, I stated. “Not very clever of you”
“Well…. I was wondering how your injuries did without care… and Lovino… your bandages need a change. You could catch an infection, and I really don´t want you to die.”
I was speechless for a minute… and looked down on me. I was having the same bandages on my chest since I got here a few days ago, that was true. I lifted it a bit and jolted as I indeed saw a little rash forming on my chest. He was right.
“You could give me the stuff and I could do it myself”, I stated weakly, even though I already knew the answer.
“You are that bendy to be able to reach behind your back?”, was a honest question to that, which surprised me. “Amazing”, he continued and I heard him click hi tongue. I might have blushed a little bit.
I spent another hour arguing with myself and finally admitting defeat. Whatever would happen on this ship, it had not been in my control to begin with. There was the chance that Antonio was saying the truth, and then I had nothing to be scared about.
On the other hand I would only delay my fate of probably being killed in the end. But I would make it a hell for that bastard if he dared to betray me.
With a determined look on my face I grabbed the key and unlocked the door. Nothing happened for a few minutes until I decided to open the door. Antonio was standing there, his arms loaded with bandages and a bottle of some tincture. And gosh his smile was so bright, it was killing me. He looked so downright happy it made my stomach turn… in disgust of course! No way, those were butterflies.
“Hola~”, he said and croaked his head and waited for me to step back to let him in.
I kind of just stood there in the middle of the room, looking warily at the man roaming around. Antonio let the stuff fall onto the chair and then with one swift movement, collected some papers from the table to neatly put them aside. Then he gestured for me to take a sit on the edge of the table.
“Now, please take of your shirt, dear”, he chipped, with a sly smile on his lips. I kind of starred a bit at how his scare moved when he talked and chuckled. It was kind of like one big laughing wrinkle. It was not scary at all when the person was not scary themselves.
But as his words sunk in I might have blushed again. “You want me to strip?” I crossed my hands over my chest.
“Well I would do it myself, but I cannot imagine you would prefer that…. Or do you, hmmm?”, Antonio teased me a bit and leaned in, so I would lean back, now actually sitting down on the table.
“…fine”, I grumbled. “You look away!”
Antonio just chuckled a bit more to that but did it nevertheless. I felt kind of stupid as I pulled the shirt over my head because he had to turn back eventually when he wanted to change my bandages. As I allowed him to turn around I had to admit that I had made the tension worse. Even though first his eyes met mine, they eventually wandered down…. To-to change the bandages of course.
His calloused fingertips very really really gently as they loosed the bandage around my chest. I had been not so aware of my injuries until I saw that my chest was spotted all over with a dark purplish hue. Also there was a little cut, that must have been from the fall. I never the less was a bit shocked and Antonio seemed to notice.
“You have at least one broken rib, and some badly bruised ones. But it’s nothing to worry about if you rest properly Lovi-…ah my dear”, he whispered, what made me once again aware how close we were again and I just nodded a bit, trying to hold my heartbeat under control.
“Only that cut… I think I have to clean it again”, the other continued bit a little worry in his tone and reached for the little brown bottle he had brought with him and then his radiant eyes found mine again. “That might hurt… a bit”.
Antonio grabbed my arms and lifted them so they would rest on my shoulders. It was almost like I would give me a hug. Oh… just cut it you dammed heartbeat!
“This will help you stay still, just squeeze my shoulders as much as you want”, he grinned a bit, at my narrowed face and opened the bottle.
Because my pride ordered me to, I held very still, even though it really burned in a nasty way. I only allowed me to close my eyes and maybe squeeze his shoulders just a little (really!) bit. Antonio was fast and I could soon feel the pleasant softness of another bandage over my chest. I just did not open my eyes for some reason. Once because I started to feel a bit dizzy, second I was sure I would not be able to suppress another massive blush when I looked down on him, how the was standing in-between my legs, and oh so close and touching my chest like that. So I played safe.
Suddenly his fingers were gone but before I could do anything I heard a soft hum and then a second later two hands cupped my cheeks and then something warm and soft pressed against my forehead. Oh god… was he kissing my forehead?! Not I blushed really hard and pushed him away.
“whawhat…”, tumbled out of my mouth as I angrily looked at him. He still had cupped my cheeks but his brows were a bit furrowed.
“I´m not fully sure but I think you have light fever….”
I grabbed his hands to release my cheeks and huffed. A distraction was needed!
“Nah, I´m fine! I want to see what ship you have if it is not a pirate ship!”, I demanded. I did not want to know for sure before I would somehow get weak to this bastard.
It was not easy tough because his hands grabbed mine now and held them very tenderly, he had a really soft smile on his lips, but his eyes were not smiling.
“I promise to show you tomorrow, but I would feel better if you would take it slow tonight and rest, so please do me this favour”, he pleaded. And it startled me a bit how easily such embarrassing words left his mouth. He had a strong aura and was able to say such wussy stuff without it weakening. That guy just confused me. He confused me so much that I could not argue for a second which he took as a yes. He simply lifted me of the table and carried me over to the bed. It was only two steps away so no time for me to throw a big fuss but I might have kicked him a bit as he let me down on the mattress, just in case so he would not get the wrong idea.
He laughed it away tough and patted my head, which made me even angrier, then his face got serious all of a sudden and I stopped everything I was doing, I even held my breath. His hand thad had again felt my temperature on my forehead- then his fingers had gently stroked some hair out of my face and then went down to the bandage that was still on my cheek. For the split of a moment I could see all kind of emotions swirl tough his eyes, guilt, anger, hate, hurt… no nice things. Then he sighed and very very carefully lifted the bandage. I felt strangely exposed as I could feel air on the cut on my cheek.
He looked at if for a moment, his fingertips just hovering over it, not touching it, then he blinked and his eyes where back to that mysterious glimmer they always had.
“That actually looks pretty good. I think we should not cover it anymore, so it heals better”, he said and grabbed a little mirror from the side of the bed and showed it to me. I did not know what to expect until now but that cut on my cheek was no way as deep as Antonio’s must have been. I was less than a thump long and very thin, not ripped at all. Sure it looked nasty but…
“…if you are lucky and have good healing abilities, there will not even be a scar in a few years.”, Antonio finished for me in an upbeat voice, only to continue a bit lower, “So you will not be outlawed and defaced like me…”
Even though I was slow to catch on most of the time, this I got immediately so I kind of cut him off, and pushed the mirror down.
“But you are not!”, I said loudly. “You are the same as 5 years before!”
He looked at me in shock for a moment and then… then he blushed, Oh my god! Blushes can look handsome too. I must have really flattered him. Then I realized slowly and I blushed too, because of what I had said. Eventually he started to smile, his scar stretching a bit.
“Oh my… you really have fever do you..?”, he laughed and I huffed in annoyance. Then our eyes locked and I decided to just ask what I was stuck in the back of my mind for some time now.
“…does it hurt?”, I asked carefully.
He blinked once and then shook his head a bit. “Not anymore… at least not physically”, he then said and I was struck by the honesty of those words.
“Can… I”, I started but he seemed to understand immediately and leaned in a bit, his eyes never leaving me.
I took a deep breath and very very carefully touched the scarred shin right below his eyes and let my finger wander down until I reached the very corner of his lips. It felt… warm, the texture was not smooth but the skin felt very fragile.
Slowly I cupped his whole cheek with my hand to see if I could cover up the scar, but it peaked out from under it. I felt the tiniest smile on my own lips as his eyes closed and he leaned in a bit into my touch.
“You know… scars are stories too. Stories are kind of your thing…”
I think he had been right. I had caught a little fever. Because I would never ever ever(!) have done that in a right stat of mind. It was kind of out of nowhere for me. But it also felt kind of ok. And he even stayed there like this for a really long time until my hand slipped off because the dizziness took over and I started to fall asleep.
When I woke up again I felt good. Like really good. But as I opened my eyes I was alone. I peeked around the room and saw the door open just a bit.
When I had been unsure if Antonio had told the truth before I now kind if was sure he had. You could not fake such things. That emotions I had seen swirl trough his eyes. I could not imagine someone faking that. And I felt oh so very relived about that.
Yawning I sat up and jolted a bit because my chest was not happy about the stretching but it also felt very much better than before.
I had been in this room for too long. I wanted to explore, I wanted to see! And so I was going to! Judging from the light, it was a bright day. I suddenly longed for some sunlight. So I went out the door and through the narrow floor. There were other doors but at the stairs at the end I could see a bit of light. I went up there.
I almost had to hold a hand in front of my eyes, it was so bright as I got used to it I finally saw the blue sky. I felt the wind in my hair and I smelled salt. It was a great feeling and I again felt myself smiling (that happened really often lately…).
I immediately found myself surrounded by bustling life. The ship was bigger than I had expected, at least it was bigger as the merchant ship had been. And there were all kind of people around, everybody looked very different… but what they amazingly had in common, everybody seemed to be in a good mood. At least I thought that because everybody was smiling at me, as a stumbled around.
A woman then walked up to me, and she had the most feline like smile I had ever seen in my life. Her hair was kind of bouncy and blond and tied back with a red bow and she had also radiant green eyes. She grabbed me by the shoulder and hugged me very tight. I might have blushed because it happened not every day that you got crushed like that by a woman.
“Aaah you must be Lovi! What a cute one you are!!”, she cooed as I managed to get away and looked at her in shook.
“I am not Lovi!!”, I said and the woman looked at me with furrowed brow. “But Nino told me that your name was Lovi. Like love with an i!”, she continued and kind of acted out the last sentence as the person who had told her. I felt annoyance welling up in me.
“That stupid….”, I hissed but stopped myself, trying to stay calm. “My name is Lovino.”
The woman’s eyes lit up again. “Ah yeah right, but I like Lovi better, so i´m gonna use that too! I am Femke by the way, if you like cute pet names I also go by Bel!”
I kind of starred at her, but I could not get mad at her. She was a bit like Antonio so I guessed I had a weak point for stupidly happy and cute people. I just growled and let it go.
“Yeah… Femke. Do you know where that bastard is?”, I instead decided to ask. She nodded.
“Sure follow me”
She did not show me where he was. At least not directly. First she gave me a tour of the ship. Which was interesting of course, but I would never admit that. And I learned a ton of names, but I could not remember. Everybody on board got something to do. Some were fishing, some were preparing food, others where cleaning or repairing stuff. I glanced up to check out the flag that was hoisted but there was none. Instead there was a skirt dancing in the wind. It was a pretty one but it was a fucking skirt!
“Yeah, that one was Francis idea. He wanted us to be the “skirt chasers” and he put that up and nobody cared enough to take it down”, Femke explained.
“Don´t you have a captain?”, I asked eventually, a bit confused.
“Yes and no. You know Nino is kind of the captain because he started all of this, but when it comes to taking decisions we mostly go by voting. And that is a good thing because Nino found “Skirt chasers” hilarious.”
I could really imagine that and shook my head as she laughed. Then she pointed at the end of the upper deck. “There he is by the way”
I looked up and just saw him up in the rigging knotting something together and then climbing down. The last meter he just jumped down. He was barefoot and his white shirt was kind of open all the way down to his belt. And his curly hair was messed up by the wind. I could hear his laughter all over the deck. Damn, that was a new picture and it had burned itself in my mind. He must again have felt my staring because he looked our way, his smile faltering for a second and then brightening up even more as he waved at us.
“A I see you got to know Bel here”, he said as we had caught up with him, laying an arm around the women. “She is my best friend, we are family!”
Femke joined in his laughter and I really would have believed them if they had told me they were related. I felt a bit of overwhelmed by so much energy shingling at me.
“Gnah.. my eyes”, I groaned weakly and rubbed my eyes, but that did not stop the two of them in any way.
“Ah, he is exactly like you have told me. So cute and feisty”, Femke said and then squished my cheeks. This was a dead sentence for every person normally, but I did nothing, I somehow could not do anything harsh to her. If Antonio would have done that I would have kicked him in the guts. And he looked at us with that kind of longing in his eyes that he really much wanted to do that but knew what I would do then.
Femke laughed and released me eventually, crossing her arms behind her back. “I leave the two of you then, see you later!”
There was a short silence that followed as I rubbed my cheeks, and grumbled around until Antonio grabbed my hands and pulled me with him.
“I´d like to show you something!”, he said happily and we skipped (yes skipped) around the wooden construct on the upper deck. Right behind that was a tiny field, where some plants grew. I stopped amazed. That was fucking genius! My eyes directly fell on a tomato plant. That was where he had gotten the fresh tomatoes.
I looked amazed from the plants to Antonio and could see his eyes glim and his chest swell with pride. It was really important for him to show me that and my reaction had been really nice for him. Of course I blushed and cleared my throat.
“… so how do you get enough water for them?”, I asked to change the topic.
“Good question!”, Antonio laughed and took my hand again to pull be a bit further to the field. I might have been a bit distracted because he never let go of my hand after that. He pointed up to small sail that was no way useful for sailing. It went down to a barrel.
“We catch the rain water with this. And its enough to water the plants.”, Antonio told me very proud. “Sadly there are no ripe ones today, you´ve eaten the last batch”, he then continued and I felt a little guilty.
“They had been very very tasty”, I mumbled in the same tone as you would say sorry and I guess it had the same impact because Antonio’s lips just curled up a bit more.
“So what do you do?”, I asked eventually as we sat beside the tiny field, watching the water.
“We explore”, Antonio simply said. He had leaned back and the sun was illuminating his skin.
“Explore?”, I might have repeated bit dumbfounded.
“Yeah, we learn about the world, and find islands none was before, lean about all the animals. I like to draw them. I want to show the world you know, to make them aware how beautiful our world is. And of course tell stories about it!”, he said with a light-hearted laugh.
“Oh…”, I just looked at him and tried to suppress the storm of little wings that rampaged trough my stomach at the moment. I almost jolted as Antonio suddenly jumped to his feed and pulled me with him.
“Let me show you!”
He shouted something to the guy steering the wheel. The guy let out a strange “kseksekse” laugh and I could feel the ship turn a bit. There was a rock formation just a bit away, and it had a cave inside. As we were near enough I could see that the cave was acutely big enough for the ship to fit in and so we went inside. It was very brave though, that must be one hell of a helmsman to navigate through this.
We were still on the highest deck and it had the feeling it was not much space until the mast would collide with the cave ceiling. Antonio put hand on my shoulder and pointed to the ceilling. There were thousands of things moving. My stomach churned.
“What it that…”
“Those are bats! Isn’t amazing to find them here on the sea? Sure there is an island nearby but they are here! And…”, he turned me to some rock overhangs. I could see a lot of nests and little birds in them. They kind of looked like gulls but they had a strange colouring.
“These are a special kind of gulls”, confirmed Antoni my guess. “I don´t think they have an name yet, and I only found them here so far. They are amazing!”, he gushed and pulled a parcment from his pocket, where I could see a detailed drawing.
“You made all of these?”, I asked amazed.
“I did! I love it”, he nodded and I might have blushed again. Good thing it was kind of dark in the cave.
As we left it, the sun was already setting and everybody on the ship had stopped what they were doing to watch it. Antonio stepped beside me and handed me a goblet. It was full with wine. We stood there silently, watching the sun turning red. I for my part was hyper aware that ours shoulders where touching but I did not mind it one bit. I took a sip of my whine instead and might have even scooted closer a bit.
“So…”, Antonio then suddenly said, and he did not sound upbeat at all anymore. It made me tore by eyes away from the sunset and directly to him. His face has that red shine from the sun, and with his scare and his shining eyes, he really looked more handsome than ever.
“I guess tomorrow we will reach the next haven”, he eventually said. I did not really understand what he wanted to say with that.
“…and?”, I just asked and shrugged, taking another sip of wine.
His eyes were still glued on the sunset.
“… you wanted to leave the ship as soon as we reach the next haven… this will be tomorrow.”
I almost choked on my wine. I had really forgotten about that. And somehow I really did not feel happy about it anymore, so I just hummed a breathless “Yeah…”.
My not so excited reaction made him look at me and again I felt this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. He leaned in a bit more until I decided to look his way.
“You know…”, he stared but then stopped and licked his lips. It was strange to see him acting kind of nervous but it also made me nervous. “…you could stay”
His eyes where now piercing trough mine and that alone was enough to make me blush. It was not especially what he was saying but how he said it. As if I was something very very valuable.
“Well…”, was all I got out, but I did not lean away. Hell no I would not lean away!
“I would be really glad if you stayed and would explore the world… with me”, Antonio continued, I think he had gotten the hint of me not leaning away. Again our faces were so really close. Oh god was this really happening!?
But Antonio did not go further. His eyes were locked with mine and kind of burning at the moment, but he stayed there and I understood that this was my moment now. I needed to do something now. It was kind of the same thing as with that stupid locked door, that he could have opened so easily if he had wanted to. I noticed that all the looks he had ever given me, and only me where very similar to the one he was giving me know. And I could see that every second I was hesitating must have been very unsettling for him.
It was a little sigh that I could hear from him that let me actually manage my stupid pride. It was the very moment the sun finally disappeared behind the horizon and introduced the night when I (yes I) leaned forward to close the tiny gap between our lips.
“I would like that”, I whispered right before.
And he immediately showed me how happy that made him.
I has been reading your fic "Bottom teaches top" for quite a long time, and as I enjoyed it, i wanted to try to redraw one of the scenes i liked the most.
I’m your secret santa for this exchange :) I tried incorporating your coffee idea into the drawing but idk if it’s prominent enough, so please have this accompanying comic strip
It’s nearly Christmas. Please be sure to submit your gifts soon! If you need extra time, now is the time to message this blog (or my main blog, @romanono - @festiveromano right now, or my gift organizer, @tojos).
