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Darkness is beautiful

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Should I Stay or Should I go

ugh I just wrote almost a whole first post and then I switched sites on phone to check my facts (how fucking long HAVE I been addicted to fentanyl anyway!? ) That's honestly why it's so confusing, because that's the point. It makes everything fuzzy. Like my favorite sailor moon blanket. Easier to survive the shittiness of life. So anyways I wrote a whole thing and then it disappeared and even though I kept seeing the little notation*draft saved* it clearly fucking didn't because I searched everywhere and now it's just *poof* gone. So now I'm writing a completely different post because I hate repeating myself. Now totally different mood. But in case you're wondering actually it's been about 9 months. Long enough to make a baby. dammit, and today I finally finished the process and am now the proud owner of a big packet of Suboxone strips and a plan for recovery. Nine fucking months. 5 days of literal hell coming off of that shit. Worst experience ever. Would definitely not recommend. Everything was pain and darkness and intolerable unbearable prickly skin crawling discomfort. Then at 1:44 pm the ER doctor gave me a little strip of Suboxone under my tongue and suddenly everything went back to normal. And, now I feel almost okay again.