Guide to Ancestor Veneration
What is ancestor veneration?
Veneration simply means "to have great respect". I choose to use the term "ancestor veneration" over "ancestor work" because I believe that if you want to work with your ancestors, then you need to start by having a strong sense of respect for them. Your ancestors aren't attack dogs, nor are they slaves. They are not there for you to give orders to or treat with disrespect. Your ancestors are your family. Your ancestors are your guides and your protectors. They are the ones who came before you and are the very reason you were able to exist.
I say this because I often see people in the witchcraft and magic community try to treat spirits like attack dogs and slaves. Hell, I've seen people treat deities as such. It's pretty disturbing to me. Don't be one of those people.
Working with your ancestors is similar to all other forms of spirit work, though I wouldn't approach it the same. Your ancestors were once human. They had flaws in life and chances are some of them carried those flaws into death, too. They have their own morals and values. Not all of them deserve respect, and chances are there are some ancestors you don't want in your space. I'll address this later, though.
How do I determine who my ancestors are?
If you were raised by your blood relatives, this may be a little easier for you. The first thing you will want to do is ask your living family what they know. Parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents... Ask them what they know and remember about your past relatives. Try to write down names when you hear them. If you are lucky enough to have relatives who keep detailed documentation about your ancestry, that is even better.
Depending on where you live, public documentation can be of great help. Old newspaper articles, obituaries... Try to figure out how you can make connections this way. You'd be surprised by the information you can find.
If you really want to dive deep into your heritage, ancestry DNA kits can help you with that. It can be expensive, and the databases of these companies vary, but it can be helpful. Some can connect you to distant relatives that have used the same ancestry DNA company. They can also give you a very general idea about where your ancestors came from.
If you were adopted, or generally have zero information regarding your blood relatives, that is okay. Your adopted family is still your family, depending on how you view them. If you love your adopted family, and truly consider them family, then you can choose to work with them, too.
I personally don't believe in the whole "your blood determines who your family is" thing. Family is more complex than that to me. That being said, if your parents or other relatives have any close friends that you grew up with, they could be considered family, too. Sometimes we are lucky enough to have people come into our lives and treat us like family. If you grew up with anybody like this, and consider them to be family, they can count as an ancestor too.
What if my ancestors were bad people?
I most commonly see this question being asked by white people. They usually refer to their racist, white ancestors. I even see people go as far as to claim white people can't work with their ancestors because of this.
Here is the thing: everybody has at least a few shitty people for ancestors. Your race does not make your immune to having bad people in your ancestry.
It is up to you to look at the ancestors you know of and determine who you want in your space. You are not required to work with every single ancestor you have. You have the right to say no to an ancestor and tell them to stay away from you. You do not need to work with racist, homophobic, transphobic, or whatever else ancestors.
You can set boundaries with your ancestors.
How do I start ancestor veneration once I determine who my ancestors are and which ones I want to honor?
Start by considering an ancestor altar. This can be easy for those of you who are in the broom closet due to hateful family. You can always pass it off as a little memorial spot for your past loved ones (this isn't even a false claim- an ancestor altar is literally a place to pay your respects). If you are able to, start collecting things for an ancestor altar.
The first things I suggest looking for are photos of your ancestors and things that belonged to them, if possible. You can add jewelry, things they used for their favorite hobbies... If you can't find the exact things they used for their hobbies, you could consider buying something that they would have used.
Your ancestors will need offerings, too. I know people tend to get a little intimidated about giving spirits regular offerings, so I suggest starting small and try keeping up with a schedule. Dedicate a specific day of the week to start. Once you feel comfortable with that day, make it two days of the week. If you are comfortable giving them offerings every day, even better!
Some of the easiest offerings you can give your ancestors include coins, cash, flowers, incense, candles, tobacco products and the sacred text of their chosen religion (such as a Bible). You can also include more personal offerings, such as a handwritten letter from yourself or a piece of artwork you created for them.
Food and liquid offerings, in my opinion, are a necessity. Your ancestors deserve to be well fed, too! They may not be here in their physical form to enjoy it, but it is still appreciated regardless. Get some plates and cups specifically for the ancestors. Give them a small portion of food before you eat. Leave it on the ancestor altar until breakfast/lunch/dinner time is over. What you choose to do with the food after is up to you. Some people throw it away, others eat it themselves. Drinks are important, too. Water is the most basic liquid offering you can give. I suggest changing water offerings out daily, if you are comfortable with daily offerings. You can also offer coffee, teas, soda and alcohol.
How do I communicate with my ancestors?
For you, it is as simple as speaking. Just talk to them like you would with your living relatives. This should be an obvious thing, but I have met people who have never considered just... talking. You don't need to use divination every time you want to talk to your ancestors. Just talk out loud to them. Whenever you give them offerings at their altar, thank them for any help they give you and talk to them a bit. Let them know you are thinking of them.
In terms of figuring out messages your ancestors send you, there are a few ways to do this. Divination is one of the most common ways to get their messages to you. You could also ask them to send you signs. Personally, when I'm asking my ancestors for signs, I use divination to try and get some symbolism to look out for. If I can't get anything from divination then I ask for specific things, such as coins. If you're the type to do dream work, you can also ask your ancestors to present themselves to you in your dreams.
Communicating with the ancestors isn't limited to these things, though, so see what works best for you. Sometimes different ancestors have different preferences and communicate different than others.
What can my ancestors do for me?
As I've mentioned before, your ancestors can guide you and protect you. You may also have ancestors who wish to help you with your magic workings, too.
Don't forget that your ancestors were once living people, too. They had their own boundaries when they were alive, and chances are they've got boundaries still. Be sure to get to know them, whether it be through listening to stories about them from your living relatives or through your own means of communication. One ancestor may not offer the same guidance or assistance that another ancestor does.
ā³ "Badass Ancestors: Finding Your Power with Ancestral Guides" by Patti Wigington
ā³ "Honoring Your Ancestors: A Guide to Ancestral Veneration" by Mallorie Vaudoise (I haven't been able to read this one yet, but I see this book praised often.)
ā³ "Ancestral Tarot: Uncover Your Past and Chart Your Future" by Nancy Hendrickson (I don't fully agree with all of this person's ideas, but I do find this book to be a good start for beginners who are familiar with tarot.)
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