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Ladies: 6 Things NOT To Do When You’re Drunk

Listen, when guys get wasted EVERYTHING we do is unattractive. We slur, we leer, we look like gross, sad apes. It’s a bad scene. Women, on the other hand, can kind of pull it off. IF and only IF you can pull yourself together and avoid ALL of the following:

1. Singing “Pour Some Sugar on Me” at the top of your lungs

This song should be called “Have Terrible Sex With Me”

2. Stumbling

Stumbling sober is cute and Tina Fey-like. Stumbling drunk is sad and Snooki-like.

3. Asking me if you’re a terrible person

Um… Kinda?

4. Saying “I need to vom” (actual vomiting not nearly as unattractive)

Honestly, I’d prefer “barf.”

5. Missing the straw

Imagine the face you’re making when it stabs you in the lip. Yeah, that one.

6. Deciding that now is a good time to try out winking for the first time

Is that…Do you have a twitch or something?

It’s totally cool. It happens. Just try to avoid the above and you’ll come off as more or less charming.

Blog Post by Shiva Persaud. Please send comments to hello @ Sparkzi dot com

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#classyladies #Sparkzi #indiandating

MAN TO MAN: 10 THINGS GUYS SHOULD NEVER WEAR ON DATES

When I first started dating, I really wish someone had taken me aside and told me “Don’t ever ever wear this around a woman. Ever.” It’s taken a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle ex-girlfriends to get me to the point where I can dress myself for a date. To spare you from the same decade-long fate, here are ten things experience has taught me to never wear on a first date.

1. Running shoes

This was news to me when I graduated college, but women hate seeing running shoes on a date. (And I mean running shoes, like, ones you’d actually wear to the gym.)

2. A tucked-in polo shirt.

I’ve just found that it’s best to not wear outfits that might subtly remind her of her Dad.

3. Man Jewelry

Dude: Don’t wear jewelry on a date. And don’t tell me you can pull it off. If you’re reading this list for guidance, you can’t pull it off. Just trust me on this.

4. A tie

Unless you’re going somewhere formal, or coming from work, don’t wear a tie. It’ll just look like you’re trying way too hard.

5. Capri Pants

Come on. Why the hell are these even in your closet?

6. A short sleeve button-down shirt

You know which stylin’ guy pulls off the short-sleeve button-down look? Don’t know who but pretty sure he died in the 80’s. You know who else does? No one.

7. Obvious hair gel

A little, subtle product in your hair won’t hurt, but any more than that and you’re either sleazy, or Jersey Shore, or both.

8. A Baseball cap

Sad but true fact: The Red Sox won’t get you lucky. Unless you play for them. Leave the hat at home.

9. Axe Body Gel

Because chicks can smell “Maybe this will get me laid.”

10. Flip Flops or Sandals

Here’s the thing: Women don’t like feet. Hide ‘em as long as you can.

Blog Post by Shiva Persaud. Please send comments to hello @ Sparkzi dot com

Artwork by Emily Dove. Check out emilydove.com

10 Signs You’re On The Date From Hell

Is it a bad date? YES! And here are 10 ways you can figure that out. Some of these clues are subtle and some are not. We’ve all been on nightmare dates that you wish you could just teleport away from. But since you can’t actually call The Doctor to pick you up and teleporting won’t be invented for another, oh, let’s call it 30 years, you’ve got to figure out your emergency escape plans and put them into action the SECOND you notice any of the following:

1. He’s so excited to show you his court-ordered ankle tracker.

Run, run, run!

2. The first question he asks is “have you found Jesus yet?”

And you tell him, “no, do I look like Mel Gibson?” Seriously, we’re too old for that sh*t.

3. He keeps talking about his ex

A kiss of death. Leave the ex-file out of it until at least week, I don’t know, maybe 4, maybe never. There’s no good reason for him to literally plop the personal baggage on the bar or table on a date. Does he still have feelings for them? Why haven’t they worked out? Is it really them or was it him? Those are not questions you want to be asking yourself on a date and thus he must not, can not, should not, open that Pandora’s box.

4. He starts talking about your future kids

Pump the brakes, just a bit. Say a blessing for your birth control/go-to contraceptive device and walk away.

5. He treats the waitstaff poorly

Just no, no, no, no, no, no. As a former member of a waitstaff this is a clear indication that he’s a big ol’ douchebag. Homo-superior he ain’t.

6. He’s fiddling with his phone the WHOLE TIME

Shouldn’t he wait until the date’s over before he tweets about it? Or, sure, maybe he’s got a high pressure job that requires him to be on-call, but unless there’s a stethoscope around his neck, there’s no reason he can’t wait 90 minutes to check in with his freaking office! Or the Yankees score! Or spoilers for Doctor Who Season 7! And yes, that last one would be tough, but still, if he’s a gentlemen of the highest order…

7. He shows up drunk or high…or both

You’ve developed a sudden case of “don’t want to put myself in a position to be sexually assaulted” and have to cancel last minute. And have the cops on speed dial.

8. His point of attention is down your shirt

It’s one thing for a guy to be shy and avoid eye contact, although that’s probably a date’s death sentence too, but it’s another for him to blatantly have two points of focus and they not be your eyes but nonetheless on your…person.

9. He talks to everyone else in the place BUT you

You’re not a date, you’re an accessory. Locate the nearest exit.

10. He can only carry one topic of conversation: HIMSELF!

It’s one thing for a guy to be talkative and outgoing. It’s another to be a narcissist. A conversation’s about give and take, just like a relationship. If he’s so enamored with every facet of his being so much, just tell him that on this night, he should go f*ck himself.

There you have ‘em, ladies. 10 signs you’re on the date from Hell. Everyone has an intuitive sense of when the date’s passed that point of “no return.” I just want to bring those intuitive instincts to the surface for us all to come together on. Bad dates are like war stories. They’re terrifying torture in the moment but they’re a way we can all find common ground later.

Blog Post by Kanishka Das Stewart. Please send comments to hello @ Sparkzi dot com

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7 Things Men Immediately Notice About Women

Last week, out of prurient curiosity I decided to ask my guy friends to list what they notice when they first set their eyes on a woman.

After promising to withhold both my personal judgement and their names, they divulged exactly — and I mean exactly — what does go through their mind when they see a girl for the first time.

1. A Cute Face

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, the guys I talked to unanimously agreed that they notice a girl’s face before they notice her body. Eyes, smile, expression? “All. I couldn’t pick out one feature I look for more,” said one guy I talked to. “It’s a general feeling. And then if I spent more time with her, maybe I could say it’s really her eyes that caught me, etc.”

2. A Nice Body

The guys agreed that they instantly notice whether or not a woman is “demonstrably out of shape.” Beyond that, “I would notice breasts and/or ass before I notice triceps…although nice triceps are actually good…” one fellow said.

3. How She’s Dressed

“I look at their outfits, not in necessarily a sexy way, but to figure them out. How they put themselves together interests me,” one guy said. Another pointed out that how a girl is dressed can tell you a lot of things about her, from personal style to branding to wealth level. “I want someone who knows how to dress well for her style,” said one interviewee. “Not necessarily expensively, but that she has some kind of good aesthetic and it fits how she acts.”

4. Is She Loud?

Yeah, someone literally said this, and the other guys agreed. Apparently, guys notice if a woman is “overly aggressive in speech or mannerism for the setting.” (A nicer way of putting this perhaps would be to say they notice whether or not she has a sense of decorum or occasion? Talking loudly above everyone else annoys me when guys do it, too.)

5. Is She With More Girls or Guys?

Apparently, guys notice the gender ratio of who a woman is hanging out with right away. “If a girl has a ton of guy friends, it helps you know that if she’s being nice to you, it may not mean she’s into you,” said one guy I talked to.

6. Glasses (And Other Accessories)

Two guys I talked to said they instantly notices whether a woman has glasses. “My type is nerdy, kinda quiet, not intensely party-ish. Glasses can be a signal,” he said. Other guys said they notice accessories that give clues about her personality, like books or a helmet, etc.

7. Eye Contact

A lot of the guys I talked to brought up eye contact. “I don’t know, girls have a way of making eyes look sexy briefly but then back to normal again,” one told me. “Ability and desire to hold eye contact is a big signal.”

Blog Post by Robin Malhotra. Please send comments to hello @ Sparkzi dot com

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Screening for crazies: How to evaluate someone you met online

When 29-year-old Melanie started meeting people online, she had a plan.

"I didn't put all my information out there. In my profile I didn't give all the description of me," said Melanie (last name withheld). She made sure when she took that online connection offline, it was always in a public place and she had some backup. "You always have to have your safety backup friend who knows where you're going. I would always call my sister or somebody and go, 'I'm going to meet this person I met online, so this is where I'm going and this is what time I'm going. You know, text me in 45 minutes and see how I'm doing,'" said Melanie.

Melanie’s plan makes perfect sense. It helps to ensure she is safe on a date, and if the date turns out to be as exciting as watching grass grow, she can probably use the text as an out – a la “oh, my friend has an emergency & I have to go help”.

It is important to keep in mind, what you read in the profile may not be always what you get. There is a lot more to a person than their profile picture or even their political interests or their hobbies … etc. It is important to get to know the person and not make a lot of assumptions based on what's on the profile so you don’t end up wasting a lot of time with a person who is not the right match for you.

What’s more, people liked potential partners that matched their ideals more than those that mismatched their ideals when they examined written descriptions of potential partners, but those same ideals didn't matter once they actually met in person, according to a new study by psychologists Paul W. Eastwick, Eli J. Finkel and Alice H. Eagly. "People have ideas about the abstract qualities they're looking for in a romantic partner," said Eastwick, lead author of the study. "But once you actually meet somebody face to face, those ideal preferences for traits tend to be quite flexible." According to Finkel, co-author of the study, the idea is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. "People are not simply the average of their traits," he said.

"Knowing that somebody is persistent, ambitious and sexy does not tell you what that person is actually like. It doesn't make sense for us to search for partners that way." So those seeking prospective partners, don't be surprised if you end up ignoring your preconceived notions about what would make an ideal mate. "Based on those ideals, you might end up liking a person upon meeting face to face, or you might have the opposite reaction," Finkel said.

Sparkzi’s product does three things in this regard:

A) Ensure you don’t waste precious time & energy trying to cultivate a relationship with the wrong person

B) Ensure dates are fun & safe

C) Ensure you get an accurate idea about your dates’ personality & values

What’s more, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that some of the people you’ll meet on the Web could be not only just not your type, but mentally unstable as well. Author Mary Ellen O’Toole, Ph.D., has evaluated serial killers during her long career as an FBIO behavioral analyst. In her new book, “Dangerous Instincts,” O’Toole outlines the methods she uses to screen for personality disorders. She offers some strategies for teasing out valuable information that can keep you safe.

Here are some dating profile red flag phrases:

“I’m not into playing games.”

“That is almost what we would call a protest statement,” says O’Toole. “You never brought that up to begin with. It’s not likely that you would, so why do they bring it up? Do they bring it up because they’ve been accused of that before? Do they bring it up because that’s the kind of thing they do? Do they bring it up because they’re projecting onto you and are anticipating that you’ll play games? You don’t know, but ... you want to see if this ultimately becomes important.”

“I’m looking for someone who is going to be my soul mate.”

“You want to look at who is the most important person in this e-mail. Is it the writer or is it you?” says O’Toole. “[Beware of] someone who seems to become jealous, or possessive and says, ‘I can’t live without you’ or ‘You are my soul mate, I can tell right away.’ A needy man or woman might think ‘He really loves me,’ but the flip side of that — three months down the road — is, ‘This guy is a stalker.’”

“I’m not the kind of person who would cheat on my wife.”

“That makes them look very defensive,” O’Toole says. “The next question: ‘Is that just their linguistic style or is there a reason for it?’ There are some people who have that ‘the world is half-empty’ outlook and they believe that no matter what they do, you’re going to cheat. It becomes an inevitable conclusion for them.”

9 Bad Habits Women Have On First Dates

1. One-word answers to every question. I don’t know if it’s out of coyness, or nervousness, or what, but find a way to elaborate a little, because “yeah” and “no” aren’t exactly chemistry-inducing responses.

2. Letting it turn into an interview.The opposite extreme leaves some women walking away from the date thinking “God, he like barely talked at all.” Yeah, that’s because you answered every question in paragraphs and then waited until he asked the next one. A lot of guys aren’t naturally forthcoming, so you have to ask back.

3. Leaving the guy at the steering wheel all by himself. Good date planning means loose planning, and when there’s a choice to be made (Another drink? What kind of food sounds good?), stop saying “I don’t care.” You’re leaving all the work to him, which is not the end of the world, but it leaves him thinking you don’t have any opinions on anything — which is much, much worse than disagreeable opinions.

4. Nervous phone checking. Look it’s not that I get offended if you’re repeatedly checking your phone during the date, and it’s not even a politeness thing — it’s that it’s unattractive. If there’s a little lull in our conversation (which is a totally normal and not bad thing), manically unlocking your phone gives off an impression of insecurity, or that you need to be constantly entertained.

5. The inside joke stories. I’m sure you have lots of funny stories to share; just stop telling the ones that end in “You had to be there.”

6. Not being yourself. This may seem trite, but faking knowledge or interests is an immediate turn-off, and it’s something most people can sniff out right away. You don’t have to agree on everything or share every interest to have a great first date, and in fact it’s often much more fun to find the things you do disagree on.

7. Mentioning something you saw on his Facebook page. I’m a blogger, so I spend a lot of time on the Internet, and I have a fair amount of female friends — so I don’t get that weirded out if you’ve checked out my Facebook before the date (and some guys do it too, obviously). But a lot of men will get weirded out if you reveal that, alright? Even with the best intentions, it can come across as over-eager, when what we’re really attracted to are the women too busy to check out our social profiles before the first date.

8. Rushing to judgments. There are two things that happen by nature that make for many many bad first dates out there: 1) guys get nervous and don’t act like themselves, and 2) women generally (not always!) make quick intuitive judgments about men. In combination, it amounts to a lot of genuinely good guys that women are passing over. So hit the brakes a little, and give him a chance to be himself.

9. Letting things go without a fight. I hate that I’m even writing this one, because it stems from a fault of men. After a first date, even a great one, sometimes we let a few days go by and because we’re busy or whatever, we neglect getting back in touch about date two, and then it’s a week, and then we feel so bad that we’ve neglected it and assume that you’re pissed at us that we drop the whole thing. It’s horrible and cowardly, right? Thing is, last time I checked, a phone works two ways, so stop staying silent through all this to “not look too available.” If you want date two, nudge him, make fun of his flakiness, until you either get the date or you’re reasonably confident that he really is just not that into you (and didn’t just flake). I’m convinced that in the 2012 dating world, it takes mutual effort, ’cause most men don’t pursue like they used to.

8 super annoying things to say to a single person

Sometimes, people will want to talk about your love life regardless of whether or not you're in the mood to talk about it. And they will have opinions. And questions. And if you're single for long enough, a lot of these are going to start sounding the same...

1. "Are you seeing someone? Why not?" Amazingly, I get this question at least once a week. At least once a week! It's fun to turn the question around to the asker. "Why are you in a relationship?" "Because I'm in love!" "Right, well, I'm not." End of discussion!

2. "It'll happen when you least expect it." The problem is, if you're single and actively looking, then you're always kind of expecting it.

3. "Can I wing for you? I am such a good wingman." If you're single for long enough, you become sort of a toy, a pet project for your coupled up friends. They like to parade you out to bars and insist on winging for you, which is really just a way for them to vicariously experience the "thrill" of picking someone up at a bar. The problem is that for them, it's all about the hunt, and not at all about finding someone with whom you would actually be compatible in the long term (or even just in daylight). This means they start indiscriminately flirting with anyone in sight, ignoring the fact that you're wildly gesticulating for them to stop, drawing your finger across your throat and making gagging noises. The end result is usually a huffy ride home ("But I set it up perfectly for you! She was so into you! She was not that bad!") followed by the inevitable conclusion that you are single because you're picky and obviously impervious to even the most nuanced and skillful winging.

4. "You need to put yourself out there more!" Out where, exactly? (Whenever some helpful soul suggests this to me, I immediately picture myself in the middle of some crowded piazza, waving my arms around, saying "yooo-hoooo!")

5. "Why don't you join a group?" It's a common misconception for people to think you're single because you just don't have enough hobbies.

6. "You just need to ______." Flirt. Make eye-contact. Go out. Wear brighter colors. Tone it down. Talk more. Talk less. Act more grown up. Meet more people. Shave your beard. Stop talking about movies. Stop talking about your dog. Be less self-deprecating. Be less intimidating. Let them see how awesome you are. Drink more. Don't get so drunk. Make the move. Don't shy away. Don't be so forward. Don't seem so desperate. Stand up straighter. Cut your hair. Grow out your hair. Be less picky. Be more discerning. Figure out exactly what you want. Make your profile funnier. Make your profile less goofy. Change your profile picture. Smile more. Go to bookstores. Go to coffee shops. Stop bringing up your ex. Stop talking to your ex. Stop thinking about your ex. Stop looking so hard. Stop trying so hard. Put a little more effort into it. Stop being so passive. Stop waiting for it to just happen. Be more confident. Lower your expectations. Get the rest of your life in order. Move to a smaller city. Move to a bigger city. Move to a different country. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Start making this a priority.

For some reason, people will be alarmingly frank about what they think is wrong with you as long as they say it within the context of dating.

7. "It's better to be single than to be in the wrong relationship." Well, yesssssssss...but it's best to be in the right relationship, no?

8. "Wow, I am so glad I never have to be single again." Yes. Fabulous. I am so happy for your good fortune.

How To Handle: All My Friends Are Married or in Relationships

Whether you’ve just ended a long-term relationship where all your friends were “couple friends” or your single pals are in serious settling down mode, it’s easy to feel like the odd one out when all the people you grew up with are paired off. It doesn’t matter how you got there, the question now is: how do you avoid third wheel status?

Pass on Invitations It’s okay to say no to invitations from friends. If your best friend invites you to a Halloween party with their boyfriend/girlfriend, suggests a three person costume (bun, hotdog and ketchup) and you kind of want to slit your wrists at the thought of it, it’s okay to say you have other plans.

Break that Last Rule That said, if you’re looking to meet people – including single friends – go to any and all parties you’re invited too. Just don’t spend all night talking to your couple friends. Wear a great costume, bring an interesting bottle of champagne or sparkling wine, brush up on your conversation skills and put yourself out there to meet some new friends.

Unless… It's a dinner party. Be wary in these situations. House parties, gatherings at bars and coffee shops, where you can mingle and meet new people are great for breaking out of the couple-dom rut. Dinner parties, not so much. You’ll likely be stuck next to someone’s sister (okay that might be awesome) as a set-up. Because friends in relationships live to set up their single friends. Which is fine, if you’ve agreed to it. If not, it can be a long night.

Be Outgoing If your friends are all partnered up and you feel left out, the sanest thing to do is add a few more single friends into your rotation. Reach out to coworkers you like, join the soccer team at work, sign up for a new class you’re interested in and grow your friend circle. It sounds cliche, but it works. Added bonus: you’ll be a lot more fun and cool on dates and have great ideas for fun things to do.

Connect Individually If you’re a guy and only seeing your guy friends with their wives at wine bars, you have a problem. Reach out and set up a men-only road trip (did someone say Hangover part III?). Same goes for the ladies, hit the spa for a girls day. This will not only get you some quality time with your friends, it will likely help their relationships – spending all your time together can be suffocating.

Don’t Force It Being around couples can make you want to introduce a new prospect to the group. Be careful here, this is almost as dangerous as bringing them around your family. If it doesn’t go anywhere, you’ll have to deal with them asking what happened for at least a month. Three months of solid dating is a good rule of thumb before bringing someone into your circle.

Your Life is Awesome Don’t let your single-dom get you down when you’re around couples. They’re not trying to make you miserable with their seemingly happy relationships. Even money at least half of them are a teeny bit jealous that you’re out there playing the field and having a blast. Because you are having a blast, right?!

#Sparkzi #Married Friends #Indian Dating #How to Handle

10 questions we wish we could ask on a first date (but never actually would)

1. What's your policy regarding leaving people suddenly and without warning?

2. Are you obnoxiously dependent, or are we still going to be able to have our own lives?

3. How much money do you actually make?

4. Are you seeing other people? HOW many other people?

5. You talk to your ex how often?

6. What's your number? (Not your phone number. The other one.) Just give me a ballpark range.

7. Do you have any plans to gain a ton of weight/lose a ton of weight/take up drugs/change your career/change your religion/change your country of residence, or in any other way drastically alter your life in the next two years?

8. Will you always expect me to pay? (Will you always pay?)

9. Does any part of you right now think that I'm not someone you could be serious about? How attracted/interested in me are you really?

10. Wait, is this a date?

#Sparkzi #Indian Dating #Dating questions

THE PARADOX OF TOO MANY CHOICES

If online dating hasn’t led you to your perfect match, perhaps the issue isn’t that you’re too choosy, but rather that there’s too much choice.

There’s no doubt that dating in the 21st century offers a lot of opportunities. Today, women and men are increasingly marrying someone outside of their religion, their ethnicity and their geographic area. Never in history have we had so many potential partners to choose from - and never have we had so much difficulty choosing. In fact, several recent studies suggest that this explosion of options has made men and women feel more confused and uncertain about finding a partner than ever before.

The challenges of choice were well illustrated in a study in 2000 that looked at people’s buying habits. Researchers asked customers to participate in a tasting of different types of jam; those who sampled the product were given a $1-off coupon. On the first day, the researchers offered a choice of six different jams. On the next, they offered 24 different jams. People tasted the same number of jams, regardless of the number of available samples. Yet their buying choices varied dramatically: Offered six jams, about 30% of samplers ended up purchasing a jar. Faced with 24 choices, though, only 3% bought a jar.

The conclusion: When given so many choices, people have more trouble making any decision, and this sense of indecisiveness could lead to a cascade of negative effects. In his seminal book, "The Paradox Of Choice," Dr. Barry Schwartz writes, “Choice overload can make you question the decisions you make before you even make them, it can set you up for unrealistically high expectations, and it can make you blame yourself for any and all failures. In the long run, this can lead to decision-making paralysis.”

The problem could be our quest for perfection. We all want to believe in "The One" - a person that meets every item on our relationship checklist, who’s our soul mate forever. But when you search for perfection, you’re unlikely to find it. “People who attempt to make the 'perfect' choice, whether it comes to buying a car or finding a partner, end up less satisfied, regardless of what or whom they choose. That’s because they tend to look for flaws, and become disillusioned with all of their options," says Andy Trees, Ph.D., author of "A Scientific Guide to Successful Dating."

Many services also ask you to fill out exhaustive questionnaires about your likes and dislikes. It might seem like more information would help you make smarter choices, but again, that’s often not the case.

The more criteria and qualities you consider for a partner, the tougher it can be to narrow down your choices. A study of people attending speed-dating events, published in the August 2011 issue of Biology Letters, found that they made fewer decisions to date when they attended events with higher numbers of candidates and greater variety. Again, the researchers concluded that people who have too many options would choose nothing.

Although one day someone may indeed invent the perfect algorithm to match two people, no online dating site has yet provided proof that its formula works, regardless of what its marketing department wants you to think. Seeing a new person every night of the week isn’t going to increase your chances of romance, just your risk of exhaustion.

Sparkzi has been developed keeping the paradox of too much choice in mind. It’s model allows for a measured quality engagement, so you give each person you’re interested in due consideration.

Although there is no perfect mate out there, patience and mindfulness will lead you to people that you can enjoy spending a day - or maybe even the rest of your days - with.

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#Sparkzi #Too many choices #Dating Paradox

SPARKZI.COM: THE DEFINITE CURE FOR THE COMMON MATRIMONIAL WEBSITE

So, you’ve been working long days all week. You finally go home and, even though it’s Friday night, you’re too tired to even make it to the local bar and deal with the same ol’. The thought of even trying to find romance in your life right now seems impossible considering you live at your office. And, yes, your coworker clearly has the hots for you, but you actually have dignity. What you don’t have is time. Or a dating website which works for you.

And this is where Sparkzi.com comes into play. But first, why exactly do we need another dating/matrimonial site?

Matrimonial websites (we all know what they are) are practically trying to offer love as a version of car insurance: a fully comp policy that eliminates any risk of you being out of pocket or suffering any personal upset (because if the product is successful for you, you’re married in no time. Never mind the question of whether you’ll be married to the right person for you or not). But love isn't like that. Love is about adventure and risk, not security and comfort. But, for a large segment of South Asian society this is an unwelcome thought: love is a useless risk. Love, in our world such as it is, is encircled, and threatened. And Sparkzi believes it's a philosophical and moral task to defend it.

At Sparkzi, the main problem as we see it with other products out there is online dating sites (or matrimonial sites for that matter) assume if you've seen a photo, star sign, BMI index and electoral preferences, you're all set to get it on à la Marvin Gaye. Wrong! Most sites assume we are like digital cameras, that you can describe somebody by their height and weight and job title and so on. But it turns out people are much more like wine. When you taste the wine, you could describe it, but it's not a very useful description. But you know if you like it or don't. And it's the complexity and the completeness of the experience that tells you if you like a person or not.

Hence, Sparkzi.com has been developed to be a product that can better deliver what people want to know about each other. The model is: authentically displayed personalities & real dates. Dates are not about sitting in the room and interviewing each other about questions; they're often about experiencing something together in the real world. If you and I went out, and we went somewhere, I would look at how you react to the outside world. What music you like, what you don't like, what kind of pictures you like, how do you react to other people, what do you do in the restaurant. And through all these kind of non-explicit aspects, I will learn something about you.

Many people go online hoping for happily ever after, but end up with horror stories instead. According to Internet dating statistics, lying is common in dating profiles. Men lie most about age, height, and income, whereas women tend to lie about their weight, body type and age. "When you look at their profiles, they're all the same," wails one disenchanted online dater. Everyone claims to be "charming, generous, funny, 'no mind games', good-looking, sensual” ... the profiles practically guarantee you'll be on cloud nine. With so much emphasis on physical appearance, fake or outdated photos often accompany those lies. The (online) description is very skeleton-like & we fill the gap in over-optimistic ways. And then you go and meet your potential romantic interest for coffee, there's a gap between what you built in your mind and between what they really are. When everyone is presenting themselves as practically perfect in every way, then you're bound to worry you've signed up for a romance-frustrating yawnathon.

Sparkzi has been developed keeping all of these insights in mind. Moreover, Sparkzi is focused on long-term relationships. That feels very unhip and very squarish, but really, when it comes down to it, our desire to find someone to connect with, to find a beautiful long-term relationship is a very deep part of our psyche.

Sparkzi.com. Please stay tuned.

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art: Emily Dove @ emilydove.com

#Sparkzi #Indian Dating #dating cure

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