Knzie!☔️

“It’s a shitty world full of shitty people sometimes, but you aren’t a monster. You’re my sister.” she/her

[zoanzon]

On a random wikidive and found out that Alice Liddel - the girl who supposedly inspired the titular Alice of 'Alice in Wonderland' - married a man named Reginald Hargreaves.

Cue my lunatic fucking brain remembering Reginald Hargreeves in Umbrella Academy and his mysterious fucking wife, and me impulsively going 'oh wait are we going to find out she's legit Alice because he's legit that historical Reginald?'

[sparrowluvr]

im queueing this post for october next year, we’ll see if youre right!

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

An observation:

In Swansea, when you get on a bus, the driver will literally sit at that bus stop and block the traffic if need be to watch you, hawk-like, on the bus cameras as you make your way to a seat. This is normal service. We must all be seated before the bus takes off. Very occasionally they might start driving while you're still standing in front of your seat, having reached it but not quite sat down, and the sudden inertia makes you instantly hinge 90 degrees at the hips and collapse into the chair like a doll in Toy Story when a human enters. We all have a good laugh. "Quick off the mark, isn't he?" an old lady will say. "Not even sitting, you weren't!" she will cackle. This is high entertainment. Her week is made. Your forced seating is a rare treat, a moment of human connection. You still thank the driver as you get off the bus.

In Edinburgh, the bus drivers have never heard of the very concept of waiting until the passengers are seated. Half a picosecond after your card is tapped the bus driver punches a nitro injection button and stamps on the accelerator. You are instantly hurled to the back of the bus, where you are thinly laminated to the back window. Time unspools into the traffic behind you. A local tuts at you, because you should have known to hold the handrail. After several seconds you manage to unpeel yourself, only for the driver to slam on the brakes for the next stop, flinging you at speed through the windscreen and onto the road in front of the bus. Ashamed, you get up and re-board. It costs nothing extra, because Scottish public transport is cheap and convenient. The driver actually pauses, because a woman with a cane has boarded. You seize your chance. You try to run up the stairs to a seat before she sits and the bus moves again. You are out of luck - at the top step the driver spins out into oncoming traffic at 87 miles an hour from a standstill, and you tumble like a house of cards impacted by a bowling ball, thrown down from the Olympus of the upper deck that you, in your hubris, thought you could reach. You rattle around in the aisle like a discarded can. The woman with the cane laughs at you. Some children kick you towards the back. You lodge under a seat, and cling on until your stop like a terrestrial limpet.

You still thank the driver as you get off the bus.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I am of course in Edinburgh again at the minute and lads you'll never guess the experience I had today

[gravity-barbie]

There's only one bed HCs

Featuring: Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Viktor, Lila, Sparrow!Ben & Sloane

A/N: This isn’t a request, I just had to post the fluffiest prompt I could after s4. Also, the umbrella’s characterisation in this is very s1 inspired.

Masterlist

Luther Hargreeves

-Luther is immediately very flustered, you’d think he just stumbled out of the middle ages with how concerned about propriety he is in this situation, and he can barely form a coherent sentence

-He offers to take the floor, but if you do the same and/or insist on sharing he’ll quickly compromise on the latter if for no other reason than not wanting to disagree with you, but that decision has his heart racing a mile a minute

-He feels very self-conscious about taking up most of the bed, so any reassurance from you that you’re comfortable, or better yet, like his closeness absolutely melts him

-He stays half awake all night, too afraid of doing something embarrassing in his sleep to get any proper rest, but his contentment to just enjoy your nearness still makes it one of the best nights of his life

-Since he was already awake (and he’s a total sweetheart) he gets up early to scavenge you two up a breakfast in the morning, enjoying this slice of domesticity with you a little longer

Diego Hargreeves

-Diego says he’ll take the floor, but if you even slightly question that choice he gets embarrassed and defensive, suggesting you two share the bed just to prove that he ‘doesn’t care’

-Obviously he does care, outwardly he keeps his cool, but on the inside he’s swarming with butterflies like he’s a teenager

-As much as he tries to appear aloof, he’s actually being so considerate, checking if you’re comfortable more than once and making sure he isn’t touching you at all

-He’s not the easiest sleeper, tense and alert, and at first lying next to his crush doesn’t exactly help, but as the two of you talk and banter a little, the tension starts to defuse and he actually finds your presence very soothing

-He’s the type to get cuddly in his sleep, much to his shame and annoyance in the morning, he doesn’t let himself enjoy the amazing feeling of holding you in his arms for even a full minute before he’s scrambling back to his side of the bed and pretending to be asleep

Allison Hargreeves

-Allison can be a grown up about this, there’s only one bed, why wouldn’t you share it? She’s not indifferent but she doesn’t overanalyse the situation either

-She gladly embraces the domesticity of the scenario though, drawing out her nightly routine, and getting chattier than usual, trying to savor this experience that she’s wanted for so long

-She’s also trying to make sure you feel at ease too, figuring if you do feel awkward, that’ll fade as the two of you talk and unwind

-She is prone to nightmares, so don’t be surprised if you’re startled awake in the middle of the night and put in the unenviable position of trying to ease her, but she for one is very glad that it’s you she wakes up to

-Speaking of waking up, sunrise is the peak of this experience for her, feeling yours and her tangled limbs, seeing how peaceful you look while you sleep, it's the kind of moment she understands the importance of cherishing

Klaus Hargreeves

-Klaus suggests sharing, he’s slept under way more awkward circumstances next to people he’s felt way more uncomfortable around, it’s really no big deal

-He has to remind himself to keep his thoughts PG a couple of times and can’t get through the night without making at least one innuendo but overall he is respectful and won't likely make you uncomfortable

-Though he can keep his thoughts clean it's harder to keep them platonic, the longing he feels being so close to you is nearly overwhelming and he wishes so badly that the context was different

-With you by his side he sleeps more peacefully than he has in… ever, it actually kind of amazes him

-He's in no rush to leave your side in the morning, the sleep clouding his brain making him all too willing to forget his reservations and cuddle up to you for as long as you'll have him

Viktor Hargreeves

-Ever the gentleman, Viktor immediately offers to take the floor, but he feels quite heart-warmed by you insisting on sharing

-Even platonically the intimacy of sharing a bed means so much to someone as affectionate starved as him, but with the added context of you being his crush this experience feels like a mini miracle

-He's pretty nervous though, triple checking that you're okay with this and minimizing his own space as much as possible when he gets into bed

-He relaxes with some reassurance and the two of you quickly get comfortable, starting up a random conversation that's meant to segway into sleep but could keep you talking all night if you're not careful

-As opposed to the anxious start to the night, waking up next to each other feels like the most natural thing in the world

Lila Pitts

-Lila's thrilled, she doesn’t immediately suggest sharing but she makes it clear she’s not sleeping on the floor and is all too happy to accommodate you if you won't either

-If you do try to give her the bed and take the floor though she stops playing coy and basically tells you to grow up and share with her, insisting it’s no big deal

-But to her it is a big deal, honestly she can't believe she didn't plan this herself it's that perfect, she can barely fight back an unending smile

-Though keeping things sfw she does lay the flirting on thicker than usual and pays close attention to how you react to that and the situation you're in throughout the night

-As bold as she is she isn't actually used to this kind of closeness and the intimacy of sleeping next to her crush does start making her slightly nervous, but luckily your presence has a way of making her feel better

Ben Hargreeves

-Ben’s not exactly a go with the flow type, if you’re put in a position where there’s meant to be two beds and there’s only one, he’s gonna try to get his other bed

-Ands it’s only after all his demands fall on deaf ears that he even registers the implications of sharing the one, nervousness quickly sets in but he tries not to show it, avoiding looking at you and giving his usual sass

-He does offer you the bed, sounding more begrudging than he actually is, it’s actually his preferred solution, cause as spoiled as he acts he could never sleep comfortably at your expense

-But of course you insist on sharing and as soon as he’s laying next to you, he confirms what a bad idea this was, he’s just as flustered as he feared he would be, maybe more so

-He pretends to fall asleep as soon as possible so you won’t catch on to how he’s feeling, but actually he’s awake and on edge for hours

Sloane Hargreeves

-Sloane has encountered this scenario in more than one romance novel before, so her brain just goes wild with the possibilities

-You’re the one to suggest sharing the bed, and it absolutely melts her heart, it's sweet and it's a relief to know you're comfortable being this close to her

-She always has a hard time hiding her crush on you, but she’s never been so flustered before, the butterflies in her stomach verge on painful

-But she's also giddy and her contagious enthusiasm guarantees the two of you will have a good night, your energy is half 'slumber party' and half 'married couple's nightly routine'

-The experience is wonderful for not just Sloane but you as well, because even if you didn't have a crush on her before, spending a night with her surely makes you realize you want to spend many more with her

[helaintoloki]

Keep Your Enemies Closer

pairing: sparrow!ben x reader

warnings: language, angst, suggestive content, minor spoilers

notes: the new season has brought me back from the dead so pls send in any tua requests you have <3 also this technically could be read as a sequel to relenting

summary: attending Grace’s birthday party forces you to confront the man you’ve been trying your hardest to avoid

The scent of pizza and spilled soda invades your senses as you help continue to set up birthday decorations in Lila’s absence. You have no idea where she’s run off to now, but you hope that taking over the rest of the work load will ease some of the stress from the tired mother’s shoulders.

The party center is loud, shrill shrieks of kids and music blasting from the arcade games splitting your ears and giving you a headache, and you’d be lying if you said you wouldn’t rather be anywhere else but in some children’s play place. But, you are Grace’s favorite aunt, and you firmly believed in always showing up for family, so here you are.

Just as you finish setting the last place mat on the kid’s table an overly excited voice calls your name from the back of the room. A smile creeps upon your lips at the familiarity, but it immediately drops when you see that it’s not just Luther heading your way but also the man you loathe with your entire being.

“Hey, you made it!” Luther cheers animatedly before pulling your tense body into a tight bear hug. “It’s so nice to see you, y/n.”

“It’s nice to see you too, big guy,” you agree with a dry laugh and awkward pat to his back. You can feel the daggers being burned into your skull, so you have no choice but to acknowledge Luther’s companion for the day. “But you do know you’re supposed to leave the trash outside, right?”

“Like I haven’t heard that one before,” Ben scoffs with an indignant roll of his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be at the hospital ‘saving lives?’”

“Shouldn’t you still be in jail?” You fire back with ire, and if not for Luther keeping you both apart you’d probably be fist fighting in the middle of the ball pit right now.

“Uh, Ben got out early on probation for good behavior,” Luther explains with a nervous chuckle while attempting to keep the peace as best as he can without losing an eye in the process. “And now he’s here to spend time with us as a family.”

“Yeah, let’s see how long that lasts.”

“Hey, I technically am family,” the Sparrow boasts with a taunting smirk, formulating just the right insults to get under your skin. “You were a late addition added to the Umbrellas to pick up the slack Viktor left behind after Dad suppressed their powers. You’re not even a Hargreeves. Isn’t that right, Luther.”

“W-Well, I wouldn’t say that,” the man is quick to defend only for you to speak over him.

“Fuck. You,” you snarl through gritted teeth, palms clenched tightly at your sides as you adamantly work to not let him get the best of you. “Ben was family, and you’re not him. You’re just the shitty replacement we’re stuck with.”

“And yet when you thought the world was ending you still slept with me.”

The smug smile on Ben’s face is immediately wiped off by the impact of your open palm colliding with his cheek, and the sheer force of your hit as him tumbling back into Luther. Your assault earns a few bewildered gasps from a nearby table of parents, but you couldn’t care less about what a group of wine moms thought of you in that moment. Your chest is tight with rage, but you will yourself to walk away before the situation can escalate further and ruin the party.

“What did I miss?” A curious Five notes after arriving to the scene, but he soon finds himself forced to match your brisk pace as you grab him by the arm and drag him with you to the bar.

“I need a drink.”

~~~

You do your best to avoid him for the rest of the night, but eventually Ben is able to corner you by the gift table where you sit nursing a spiked lemonade.

“Drinking at a kid’s party, huh?”

“Did you come here to get slapped again?” You retort with a wry chuckle before taking a quick swig of your drink.

“Actually,” he starts, hesitating as he struggles to get out the words, “I came to… apologize.”

“You? Apologize? What, is the world ending again?” You scoff in disbelief before finally settling your gaze on the shaggy haired man before you. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but you think prison might have made him hotter, and the fact irks you to no end.

Obviously annoyed by your defensiveness, Ben shakes his head and says, “I don’t even know why I bother. I only came here for Luther’s sake because he wouldn’t shut up about making ‘positive changes’ now that I’m out of jail.”

“‘Don’t even know why I bother?!’” You repeat in indignant disbelief. “I gave you so many chances to prove that you weren’t a complete asshole and every time you screwed me over! You are not the victim in the situation.”

“Oh, spare me the sob story,” Ben remarks dismissively with a roll of his eyes. “I lost someone too, you’re not the only one that has to deal with the fact that you’re stuck with a completely different version of your dead partner. At least I’m trying to make the most of what the universe has given me.”

“By getting yourself thrown in jail over some stupid crypto scheme?”

“Jesus, by trying to make something with you!” Ben cries out in frustration. “You won’t even try to just play along!”

“I already told you, I’m not your y/n. She’s dead,” you remind him harshly. “Sleeping with you was just a moment of weakness and a mistake that shouldn’t have happened.”

“Really? Because if I remember correctly you seemed to really be enjoying yourself,” he taunts with a suggestive smirk that has your face immediately growing hot.

“God, you’re so insufferable! I could just-“

“Kiss me?”

“-choke you!”

A heavy silence falls between you both as you stare at each other in bewildered shock. It takes you a moment to recover from Ben’s words as you swallow harshly and ask, “What did you say?”

“What did… you say?” He retorts in an attempt to remain as inconspicuous as possible. The tension between you now is so thick you could cut it with the knife sitting by the birthday cake, but instead you just sit and stare at each other.

“Does your car have tinted windows?” Ben asks suddenly, prompting you to raise a brow.

“Yeah, why?” You reply with an inquisitive raise of your brow, but when Ben gives you a pointed look you’re then quick to catch on. “If we go now we’ll be back in time for cake.”

“Let’s go,” he says, eagerly rising from his seat so fast it almost knocks over the presents. Anxiously taking your hand in his, you both scan the room to make sure no one’s eyes are on you before bolting towards the exit.

You know you’re going to regret this, but in the moment you couldn’t care less what consequences would come from your romp in the backseat of your car with Ben.

Because as much as you hate to admit it, you’ve really missed him.

[sunnsettee]

Can’t wait for all the umbrella academy fan fics that are gonna come out.

[umbrellalavender]

That little Five diner was quite fun!

[strawlessandbraless]

Umbrella Academy season 4 spoilers without context

[oran-je]

season 4 goes crazy

[the-krakens-bitch]

The fact that in the very first episode of the series Diego wanted to fight Five just for the last episode of the series to show Diego and Five to be fighting

[oran-je]

season 1 five meeting season 4 five (2024, colorized)

[littlerit]

Can we discuss how smartphones exist in the timeline after the Umbrella’s die?

[thelesbianluthor]

What bothers me about the Luther thing is that it doesn't even make sense for him to get back the monkey body after he took the marigold? Because it wasn't a consequence of his powers ??? It happened years later ?!?? But they still gave him that body back and made it a joke ?

He hated his body deeply. He was terrified of people finding out what happened to him.. and now he just walks around in his stripper underwear and goes "oops" when people see him and make comments? It would be great if it was an actual character development moment but it was not? It was just a way to make cheap joke abt how hairy he was ??

Like why?

[the-krakens-bitch]

Why is Grace in the final scene of the series?? Like I get that the last scene represented the utopian life that would occur after the “cleansing” and everyone is happy, including the Sweds, everyone in the commission and Agnes, but why is Grace there?? Everyone in the commission kinda makes sense, as far as I am aware we don't know what time frame any of the people from the commission came from, including the Handler, so I get it to say that they exist in this presumed time frame of 2024. However, Grace existed in the '60s, which we found out in season 2 as she was one of the scientists to teach Pogo so why does she exist in a young form now? If the umbrella academy, as well as Reginald didn't exist why would she exist in the presence as young as she is compared to the past??

[thetimetravellercat]

crack thoughts on TUA4 if we kept the whole 'Five and Lila get lost in the subway' sideplot:

it would have been so much funnier if, after a while, Five went looking for Dolores because "you know what, at least, the last time I ended up stuck and lost in time, I had Dolores, might as well get her back" and so he does

and Lila teases him endlessly about it, because of course she would, that's what Five and her do, they bicker and tease each other all the time

except, at one point, it's been what, five or six years, and Five is asleep, and Lila sees Dolores and she gets closer, and starts talking to her as Five does, and then she is about to kiss her when she snaps out of it like "fuck, I really need to get back to my family" and then she wakes up Five and they keep looking for the exit with Five going into one of his manic moods with diagrams and calculations and cie and eventually they find their way back

that would have been so much funnier

[partashiolgy]

how the TUA actors must’ve been reading that fuck ass script

[sparrowluvr]

i just finished the finale. what the actual FUCK was that.

[sparrowluvr]

Season 4 spoilers:

Who would have thought Ben getting laid would start the apocalypse

honestly, expected. as SOON as a crypto virgin gets laid all hell breaks loose