Sparrow Wisteria

Put a muzzle on me, I bite. taken, minor, Na'vi & wolf

[bubbly-pawz]

[mossyforestfox]

… so we’d all pick shapeshifting right?

[silly-comet]

I dont need to go to therapy i need to go to a wildlife rehab center

[tiercelgreen]

I am on my paws and knees begging folks to realize they don't have to be the world's most amazing writer ever to write! The alterhuman tags have been feeling really devoid and empty of a lot of the usual interesting essays lately and that makes me really sad! I love it when you all write! I love reading about the experiences of people! You also don't have to be interesting to write about yourself. Most people, I find, view themselves to be quite boring and are more fascinated with the lives of others. The reality of this is that you think you're boring because you've lived with yourself/selves your entire life! Of course you're going to seem mundane to yourself. But the secret is, nobody else is you. And no matter how utterly boring you find yourself or your thoughts or your particular relation to the alterhuman community I can assure you, you are interesting to others out there. Your voice DOES matter. Your thoughts and experiences DO have value. You ARE valuable. So please, please write. Please draw. Please share your experiences through literally whatever form you possibly can! I LOVE to read about everyone's unique experiences. Some of my favourite essays and writings out there have been from people who are so entirely and vastly different from myself that I could never have even conceived of the way they viewed things and how they experienced the world around them until I read about their experiences. Some of my favourite artworks are from people who's styles and preferences are wholly different from my own. I promise you, you do not have to be talented or skilled or amazing or perfect to create something of meaning and worth that revolves around your experience. Whether that be a handful of sentences attempting to verbalize a way you felt during a shift, or a several thousand word essay on your particular experience as a spiritual therian. Whether that be a simple pen scribble or a 16+ hour finished piece of work. Whatever it may be. It has meaning because you made it with your own digits with your own hands with your own claws and its yours. Please write.

[sparrowwisteria1]

Tonight I went to 2 parties one a grad party and the other a get together for some people, I was a plus one but I also knew like half of the people

Now the first one there was food and ice cream and I was just uncomfortable and trying to pass time by playing with my bracelets, I didn't know many people there, and it was a nice party but one some people I knew came out was actually pretty fun.

We soon left to go to the get together, and we went swimming and with this group of people I was just referring to each of my limbs as I needed to add what they are, I mentioned how my friend touched my paw and I thought that was funny

And I was also sinking and doggy paddling the whole time but I also got to refer to my snout and my fur, it was just so nice to be able to refer to your body parts as they are - without people actually caring or listening to deeply, it was just nice to get out and get my mind off of everything, we had a fire to burn homework and just it was a nice time and this wolf had fun :)

I'm tiyerd now, night dudes

My boyfriend should pet me like this dude

[monoliths-envoy]

Affirmations for the unsure alterhumans and maybehumans:

You can still be alterhuman even if you acknowledge parts or all of your humanity.

You can still be alterhuman even if you find comfort in human rituals, culture, etc.

You can still be alterhuman even if you display human behaviors and characteristics.

You can still be alterhuman if you look or act nothing like your 'type.

You can still be alterhuman without dysphoria, euphoria, or both.

You can still be alterhuman even if you never plan to transition or present physically or socially as alterhuman.

You can still be alterhuman without blowing hundreds of thousands of dollars on gear.

You can still be alterhuman even if you aren't queer (surprisingly common misconception by the way!)

You can still be alterhuman even if you don't find the furry community appealing.

You can still be alterhuman even if there weren't 'signs' of alterhumanity in your childhood.

You can still be alterhuman even if you find aspects of alter/nonhumanity uncomfortable or scary (and this may change as you discover yourself!)

You can still be 100% alterhuman and 100% human at the same time.

You can still be alterhuman without misanthropy.

You can still be alterhuman without a spiritual connection to nature or a religion pertaining to nature.

Even if you aren't alterhuman, it's okay to be human.

Even if you aren't alterhuman forever, it's okay to recognize your humanity afterwards.

No seriously, it's okay to be human in some aspects or all aspects.

You don't have to constantly strive to be the 'most nonhuman thing possible' and you don't have to try and reinvent the wheel coming up with a new term thats 'more nonhuman' or 'further than humanity' than the last.

There are infinite ways to be alterhuman and you may never find a term to define yourself. You might not even find a species to label yourself as.

On the same coin you may find that your experience is painfully common, or not 'original' enough to warrant a 'true' experience. You have to remember that it's okay to be one of the gazillion black wolf psychological therians out there and that it is functionally the same (and has the same moral weight) as having brown eyes.

It's okay to be unlabeled.

It's okay if you wouldn't be considered alterhuman by the old standards from the days when alterhumanity was mostly on independent forum boards.

Grills and grilling aren't relevant anymore and it's better to block people that try to bring that back.

But it is never okay to lie to yourself to fit into a box that's too small for you.

[vagabond-beast-deactivated20260]

the urge...

to make...

a workable wolf mask with a muzzle and ears and everything.

Obviously, you don't need gear to be a therian, but damn if it doesn't look fun and expressive. Just opt out of showing my human face and have an actual physical representation of what I already feel showing for others to see?

Yes, please.

[bubbly-pawz]

[thenotfoxforest]

one of the things that gives me the most species dysphoria is my jaws.

I constantly snap at and bite at things, but my jaw is too short, I don't have a snout. it's not long enough to grab things, it's so hard to bite. my teeth are disgustingly dull and my tongue is thick and short. it hurts, physically hurts every time I re-realize it.

[sparrowwisteria1]

When I try to growl or bite it always feels so short, this is literally one of my body parts that bothers me the most, not my ears or my tail but my snout, one of the things I should be using the most, to eat, to smell and to defend, hunt, and threaten, to protect and to love

But it's not there and every time I try to use it, when I smell the air to find something or try to use my fangs to rip apart meat my jaw is not as strong or as long as it's supposed to be.

[the-big-dog]

I love peanut butter. It makes me feel doggy. Apples and peanut butter is one of my favorite snacks. It makes me feel like I’m a good dog who got a special treat.

[olivursus]

i see myself as having this fur color! this is how i see myself in most of my shifts

[the-big-dog]

I hate seeing my reflection. It’s so so wrong. I see a human that isn’t me. He is called by a name that isn’t mine and everyone expects him to be someone that isn’t me. And yet, when I move he moves with me in the mirror. It’s so uncanny seeing someone who isn’t you in the mirror.

It looks so wrong to see myself in this body that isn’t mine. I see the flat face, the bare skin, the green eyes, the puff of curly dark brown hair, and the pink mouth, and I want to cry. I did cry the first time I saw my reflection.

I avoid any reflective surface. Black digital screens, mirrors, glass that’s reflecting a lot.

Even when I don’t see my reflection, I can still see my hands and body. That’s why I like being in darkness. I can’t see this body when it’s too dark.

[sparrowwisteria1]

I understand this feeling, and I bought a mirror crazy right? But what I'm going to do is paint my real face in the mirror so when I look into it what I know is what I'll see, and if you wanna see the results when I do it I'd be happy to let you know if it helps me :D

[the-big-dog]

That would be very kind of you

[sparrowwisteria1]

So this is how it ended up looking. Frankly I painted more of the mirror than I thought I would but I still like it, the interesting thing about it is your eyes in the mirror will always be the same size and I used that to my advantage, you don't need to worry about how far or close you are to the mirror. but I also had to close one eye to paint it majority of the time so it didn't end up as realistic as I wanted it to be, but I had to close one eye because if I didn't I would see double, of either the painting or my face so the only way to counter that was to close my non dominant eye to sketch it in, then keep painting until it's done.

So the downside is, if you try to focus on both you and the mirror at the same time you might see double, but if you focus on the mirror you just have a slightly blurry version of yourself with what you really look like

But on the upside you can now look at yourself in a mirror :)

I really hope this helps !! :D it's a new type of gear for me, for sure!

[sparrowwisteria1]

Vent? Idk what this is guys, a barking ramble

Why would you give a wolf, a human body to take care of? For the human body who has been trying to sleep for 5 hours and cannot, for a wolf is nocturnal so its traits will become the bodies. The human body has also only had one meal per day for the last 3 days. When the human body does not eat breakfast, only eats lunch provided by school, and eats dinner provided by parent, the human body will forget to eat, because it does not feel hunger. It will not go out of its way to eat, when it is sick one day then it's the weekend to which time to eat is not on the priority list. What shall the wolf do with the human body for it also has not a clue how to take care of itself or keep it alive. If this continues the wolf might not survive.

The wolf needs help taking care of it's human body

For the wolf is me, and the body is not the right shape but is also mine

When the wolf needs help

It does not know how to reach out

So the wolf prefers to suffer, and no longer sees it as suffering because this has been normal for as long as the wolf can remember

For suffering has become state 0 and the wolf doesn't see it as hurting or suffering

For I.. tw next line for rape

Since after the wolf was raped for 7 years by the same person the wolf never learned how to take care of itself

So the wolf will continue to not know how to take care of itself

The wolf will not reach out for help

The wolf is still me and I don't want help but I need it, and not from a therapist I don't trust them and they don't help me.

The other parent does not understand how just because it helps them does not mean it works for a wolf

What should I do, I can't sleep I don't eat, It's hard to shower or do anything, or take care of myself, I have to be up in less than an hour and a half for school

All way to much work

For the wolf will just sit with its thoughts I suppose, if it can't sleep then all it can do is think and look at the ceiling.

The wolf needs guidance from a human or animal that knows what it's doing and how to take care of a human body, because the wolf only knows how to take care of its species the wolf, not a human. Why would you put a wolf in charge of a human? Help the wolf out at the very least.

Don't leave the wolf hanging

The wolf might not make it if the wolf continues not knowing how to take care of a human body

The wolf is h u r t i n g

I t h u r t s t o b e l i k e t h i s. . .

[sparrowwisteria1]

Dude this wolf had peanut butter flavored ice cream today, it was so fucking good

[the-big-dog]

I hate seeing my reflection. It’s so so wrong. I see a human that isn’t me. He is called by a name that isn’t mine and everyone expects him to be someone that isn’t me. And yet, when I move he moves with me in the mirror. It’s so uncanny seeing someone who isn’t you in the mirror.

It looks so wrong to see myself in this body that isn’t mine. I see the flat face, the bare skin, the green eyes, the puff of curly dark brown hair, and the pink mouth, and I want to cry. I did cry the first time I saw my reflection.

I avoid any reflective surface. Black digital screens, mirrors, glass that’s reflecting a lot.

Even when I don’t see my reflection, I can still see my hands and body. That’s why I like being in darkness. I can’t see this body when it’s too dark.

[sparrowwisteria1]

I understand this feeling, and I bought a mirror crazy right? But what I'm going to do is paint my real face in the mirror so when I look into it what I know is what I'll see, and if you wanna see the results when I do it I'd be happy to let you know if it helps me :D

[alteredinstincts]

species dysphoria so bad you start to question if going completely feral in this room full of people is really all that bad

no but genuinely who hit me with the dysphoria beam because I am one conversation away from tearing into someone oh my gods

[dude-with-paws]

When I grow up, I want to express my alterhumanity as much as I can.

I want alterhuman kids and teens to see that they are not alone.

That they are not "confused", that they can too grow up and have a good life.

I want to wear my gear in public.

I want to get tattoos representing my identity.

I want to be unapologetically myself.

And I will.