Speak Your Inner Thoughts

Feel free to ask us for advice, we'll do our best to answer it. To anyone who has feelings (everyone), faking smiles, who is struggling, who is sad, who wants to self harm, who has a mental illness, who is insecure, who needs a friend, someone to listen to them and someone to be there for them. Maybe you're scared to tell someone, maybe you feel as though you have no one to tell. Just know that someone out there cares, and that you are never alone. You can always ask for advice from this blog. ❤

[actuates]

you haven’t hit rock bottom, not yet. there’s something left in you, even if you can’t see it, there’s something left in you. your mind still works, your thoughts still speak, and though you think you’ve hit rock bottom, this is what you have left. make something of those thoughts, reshape your world with that pretty little mind. let these struggles become a tool, remind yourself that you are capable. because you haven’t hit rock bottom, not yet. and now is a good time to become something new.

Rock Bottom. |(Morsus Engel)| (via actuates)

[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

Hi there. So I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years because he kept lying to me and I feel he never really loved me. And we were on and off for those 2 years as we just couldn't stay away from each other, I guess I couldn't as he was my first.I heard that he has started talking to my cousin and is becoming very close to her. They both know how I would feel about it but they continue and he continues to look for other girls. Will he ever regret hurting me so much? What should I do?

Hey love, I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling like this and I know how much it deeply affects you. First of all, i’d talk to your cousin about how you feel about this situation and ask her about what’s been happening since she might not know how you are feeling uncomfortable about her closeness to your ex. What you should do is just try to be away from him as much as possible and spend time with your friends and do things that you love because in the end, this decision may be better for you overall.I cannot say whether or not he’ll regret hurting you so much but what I can say is that you’ll definitely find someone better that will love you for who you are. And when he sees that you can be happy without him, maybe he’ll realize his actions were unforgiveable

[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

Hi! So I have this crush on a teacher on my school & it's been like over a year since I've had a crush on him. The problem is that it really affects me, like, I'm always looking for his acceptance & signs that he likes me (not in a romantic way nor anything like that) so that really influences my mood & how I feel, & I don't think this is healthy at all, but I don't know what to do! Thanks

Hi,What you should do is focus on your school work, your friends, and finding someone more appropriate for your age. Find some clubs or activities that you enjoy and interact with people in them. Finding acceptance, and possibly a relationship, among your peers could be what you need to shift your focus onto something more healthy.

[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

Hi there! So I've always been pretty closed off about my problems bc I never wanted to get anyone else involved. & other people have their own problems and its so hard to bring up anyways. But lately I've realized that it is really hard to keep everything to yourself. So I was just wondering if you know a good way to bring up something thats bugging you to the people you care about, without it being awkward? thank youuuuu

Hello :)

My best advice is just what you said - it’s really hard to keep everything to yourself.. and you shouldn’t. Let that be motivation to help you realize that you should bring something up when it’s bugging you. I used to be the same way and eventually you do realize it is hard to keep it all in. Something that helped me was seeing a counselor because you’re going to see them TO get things off your chest and mine helped me with ways to bring it up.

Another thing that I do when I need to tell someone something but don’t know how is I play out different ways to tell someone / bring it up. Sometimes though you just have to say “Hey something bugging me, can we talk about it?” The more you think about it being awkward and not about getting it off your chest, the more awkward it’s going to be. Just let it go and remember it’s best that you let it out. 

Also notes help. Texting it. Phone calls. Even if you text, “Hey something is bugging me, can we talk about it?” And set something up to talk in person. (Suggestions if you think just bringing up the topic in general is awkward) 

-Brianna 

[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

Is there any chance a guy may like a girl even though they've known each other for 4 years now and it's always the girl initiating the conversation? I mean, yes the guy replies and they manage to talk casually, like friends, but how do you know when he's just not into you? Cause when he's around it's so obvious he feels different about you - the way he looks, the way he acts - so why all the lack of effort? Why does it always have to be the girl making the first move?

The could be a bunch of reason he’s the way he is. Maybe he’s just that kinda person, that the friendship has been like that for far too long and there isn’t a need to change it.That lack of effort might just be that.  Being comfortable in a relationship (friend or otherwise) can lead to some habit forming. Which leads into the second part. Maybe he does like the girl, but their friendship is too important to him that he doesn’t want to initiate anything to jeopardize that. I know from experience, that that’s how I treated my best friend. I liked her for a good onset of 2-3 years and she didn’t know anything about it until some drama brought light to it. But even now nothing has changed since then. But that’s besides the point. The other thing is that the guy doesn’t feel that way, and his usual mannerisms are just getting confused with interest.   

And now this comes the important thing. You can never really tell if the guy isn’t or is into you. Lack of effort, lots of effort, the looks, the way he holds himself around you. Those all mean nothing until someone breaks the silence and asks. The quickest way to find out is to ask. And whether he responds or not, it’ll be a better indicator of his feelings. But then it just comes down to if you’re willing to risk it and find out. 

-Josh

[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

I think I'm gaining feelings for my best friend of almost 20 years and it's so surreal because like everyone claims we're soulmates just because of how much we have in common and how natural we fit together but I never thought of him in any way besides platonic until now. The only thing is, that the idea of being intimate with him in any way just seems so awkward, like this boy has known me since I was in diapers and vise versa. Do you think I'm just over thinking our friendship too much?

I think it’s common for most people, at least in some way, to have feelings for their best friend of the opposite sex. I mean why wouldn’t you? You trust them, you probably love them, you care for them, you have mutual interests, you hang out, you have memories together. It makes perfect sense to like him. What you need to consider is what happened to make you realize this. Perhaps something has changed in your friendship that you now see him in a new way. I would just see how you feel in a few months and then decide what to do. Who knows, maybe he feels the same way. <3

[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

I'm 19 and I've never had my first kiss. It's gotten to the point that everyone just assumes I have and I can't correct them or else I'll look dumb. I feel stupid enough being one of the only virgins left out of all my friends, if everyone knew I had never even kissed a boy I'd be humiliated. I get that it's such a minuscule thing to worry in the grand scheme of things about but it's honestly all I think about. I don't know how to shut it off. Do you have any advice?

Oh lovely, don’t think like that. It’s quite alright to get your first kiss later in life. I know plenty of my friends who didn’t get their first kiss until they were in their 20s. I would not worry about it so much. The right person will come around. And you will kiss them or he will kiss you and it’ll be great and all your worries will fade away. Don’t worry about getting kissed, live your life and I promise it’ll happen. Chin up, buttercup. <3

[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

hey :) so i visited this boy over the weekend and i slept over at his place because he lives quite far away from me and he made me sleep in his bed and when i was pretending to be asleep, he started touching me, just like my ass and my shoulder and back (nothing too bad) but i still hated it and i still feel kinda... gross. Now i'm very scared i will never find a boy again because i was so uncomfortable when he touched me and idk what to do about it... Great blog btw :D

Have you considered the fact that if you weren't prepared to sleep in his bed (you did say he made you), that the entire uncomfortableness of being touched is an issue of consent?The first time I had cuddled with someone, I felt awful afterwards because it had been because she pitied me and didn't treat me well at all. When I started dating my girlfriend, it was a lot different and it was much more comforting.Personally I would say take your time and let yourself get comfortable with someone. Give consent to someone you care for. At that point the touching maybe fine - Kyle

[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

Part 2 friend group. Now I wanna break up with the guy but if i do it'll be like i just moved here all over again. My only friends in this area are these people. They have been friends all their lives. So if i break up w this guy they wont choose me

Hey lovely lady! So...I completley get you! I’m 20 and I recently moved to another country and it’s hard! It’s so so great you made friends with a bunch of people and found yourself a guy! But what I will say is that, are they really friends worth having? If you believe they will ditch you, just because you broke up with him? They don’t have to chose between the two of you! As adults I’m sure he’s going to be more than understanding and you can both be civil when it comes to you all hanging out together. However, if the situation does go the other way and they decide they don’t want to associate with you any more, GURL you don’t need that in yo life!! It’s to short and there are beautiful souls out there just waiting for you :) Good luck and we’re always here! xo 

[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

Part 1. Just a vent, but I see some of u are older so maybe you'll have advice on making friends while being an adult. So I'm 21 and I moved to a new city last year. I made friends w a co worker and ended up dating one of her friends and joining her

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[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

Hi! Update from J. One morning a few weeks ago I woke up (after a dream with him in it) with this realization that if I got on Tinder I'd find him and could match him (IDK where this came from, I'd been on Tinder before and hated it & the dream had nothing to do with Tinder). Found him, and from the urging of my BFF swiped right, & still haven't matched with him. If it happens, it happens, but I'm not exactly holding my breath at this point, lol- at least my BFF knows now. Thanks for your help!

I hope everything works out for you :)

[everything-inspiring]

[speak-your-inner-thoughts]

PT. 1: My fresh year of HS, I had a huge crush on a boy. We were very compatible & I was smitten. That went into my jr year of HS, when my BFF (who was also friends w/ him) noted how great we would be together. He changed a lot, I gave up on him & moved on. Now I’m a sr. in college. We go to the same school- I don’t see him ever- but I’d think about him every once in a while. Last month, my BFF noted that he’d changed and she thinks we’d be good together again. -J

PT. 2 I kind of blew her off and rolled my eyes. I’ve thought about it and I want her to set us up but I don’t know how to say it- it’s kind of hard to casually bring up something 6 years in the making. He has an on-and-off thing w/ a girl we went to HS w/ who’s currently on study abroad. I don’t want him to go back to her when she comes back, so I don’t have much time left to say something to my BFF. Help!! -J

Hi lovely! I think you should talk to your friend and say “You know, I’ve been thinking it over and I would like to try something with that guy. Do you think you could help us meet up?” Or something along those lines. If you truly want him, I would just go out and try your best to get him. Let me know how it goes. <3

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