“She’s good. Kinda worryin’ about Sera and Kai ‘cause they’ve been gone so long, but like! We know they’ll be back soon, so not too freaked out. Oh, and since the weather started to warm up she’s seemed a lot more comfortable! She can go places without needing like fifteen layers, so that’s pretty great.”
Did the true nature of the question go right over her head, or is she doing this on purpose?
I’ve been taking… even more of a break than usual from these blogs, if you hadn’t noticed, but this is just me popping in to make a small announcement I guess?
if you follow my personal you’ve probably already seen, but I’m trying out a new name/set of pronouns now. and so far I’m finding that I’m way more comfortable with them.
so if you’re cool with it, could you please call me lucas and use either he/him or they/them for me? thank you.
they can’t join in on the facial hair debate, given that they lack both a beard and a desire to grow one, but they nod along with michi anyway. a little - or a lot - of hair might change what people assume, but it’s not really their business what the deal is unless it affects them. whatever kai decides to do with it, it’s fine.
“hey, gramps.” oh? are they done trying to help kai come to terms with all of the gender bullshit, then? “thought a thing.”
“y’oughta ‘ave ‘er come ‘round more. she’s gotcha ‘mittin’ I’m right and list’nin’ for once. s’a nice change.”
oh. no, they’re just resuming antagonizing michi for the hell of it. of course.
“havin a beard don’t make ya a dude. an’ dresses ain’t jus’ for girls.” the smirk they’d been shooting michi’s way dies down, but their penchant for giving unwanted advice doesn’t follow suit. “not sayin’ y’can’t be ‘em if y’feel like it. s’just - s’all just stuff, kid. can’t let ‘em pick tha’ kinda thing for ya. ain’t how it works.”
“S’one reason. Better’n’s that she’s someone who actually likes me. Nice change from been stuck w’just yer nasty ass all th’time.”
Kai thinks that would be solved if Michi made a few more friends. ...She thinks that. She, Kai, thinks that.
Yeah. Okay. She’s putting Michi’s difficulty making friends aside, and is back to thinking about the matter at hand. Right this second, she thinks she’s happier with this. Maybe? Probably. For now, anyway. Still going to need some getting used to as well.
And Bones, whether they think it wanted or not, is helping. It’s things that Kai feels should’ve really occurred to her on her own - ‘it’s all just stuff’ isn’t exactly the philosophical masterpiece of the year - but she’s hardly objecting to having it told straight to her by someone who, admittedly, has a better idea of what they’re talking about than she does.
“Um... thanks.”
There’s plenty of other stuff she’d like to ask, of course. Some of those things, though, are starting to feel like she should either save them for when it’s just her and Michi, or look them up in her own time. She starts to rise from her seat, then stops.
One more question first.
“So, um... Bones, I - I don’t know about you, but um... I know Michi’s - they, uh, they don’t have a gender at all-” She’s interrupted by a hearty ‘hell yeah’ from her sibling there, and can’t help the small grin that crosses her face before getting back to business. “But, um... you - you said before that, uh... you don’t - that you can, uh - more than one?”
That was almost a full question, Kai.
“Just, ‘cause... Sometimes I’ve really wanted to be called with she and so far, um - I know it’s only been like two minutes but so far I really like it, and like - days where I’ve wanted this I feel like really gross about my, uh - some aspects of how I am, but then like - then other days I’m perfectly fine with people calling me he and I don’t have the problems with how I look those days and - I don’t know. I don’t know! Some days nothing feels like anything, even. Right now I’m just feeling that, uh, that discomfort, and I hate it but like, I don’t know what I’m meant to do with that because then sometimes I just don’t feel it at all and -”
She cuts herself off with a nervous laugh, stands straight and scratches at the back of her neck. It looks like she recognises she got a little frantic again there. Realises she kind of just ran with what she’d been intending to keep for just the people she’s more familiar with. Oops. Might as well keep going now.
“I don’t think - I don’t know if, uh, changing my body at all would help with anything like this because it’s only some days - but then maybe it’s just that I’m wrong about this all ‘cause I can’t really like, concrete confirm any of what I feel and maybe I’m just making it up and don’t realise it and - and I’m really sorry, you’ve known me like five minutes and this is probably some way too heavy stuff for a first meeting so, ha, maybe I - maybe I should go? I should probably go.”
Kai miiiight be getting ahead of herself here. In like three different ways.
oh, agrees bones, who decides very quickly that yes, this little-but-tall boy(?) is their brother(?) now and they’re going to help michi out as much as possible. half out of how pathetic he looks avoiding any sort of eye contact with either of them, and half out of their own personal thoughts on the subject matter at hand.
thoughts which are eloquently summed up with a simple,
“gender’s a bitch.”
…or maybe not so eloquently.
thank you for your input, bones. it’s very helpful.
okay, though. they’re doing this, which means they’re doing this proper. the magazine they’d been flipping through is closed. the pyukumuku pillow is kicked out from its place next to the counter, which comes to a rest right behind where kai is standing. it’s decently impressive that it didn’t end up just slamming into his legs! …or would be, if now was the time to think about that.
“dunno’f we’re gon’ be any help, but c’mon, kid. whaddya got?”
admittedly, not the nicest way to phrase the request “tell us what’s bothering you,” but… well. this is bones.
He’d probably laugh at that if this wasn’t stressing him out so much. Instead, he stays quiet. They’re Michi’s friend so they’re probably fine, but there’s still a certain level of discomfort that he’s pretty sure is coming solely from their presence. Talking about this at all still feels like a poor decision. But whatever! Whatever. No point backing out now.
“Uh...”
He stares down at the pillow. It’s cute, but how exactly is he meant to be reacting to it? There’s an obvious answer to that, of course. Right now said answer is eluding Kai as his focus remains on the far bigger issue of the moment.
“Siddown, kiddo.” Is Michi’s helpful offering. “‘Ssumin’ we’re gon’ be ‘ere a while w’this.”
Kai follows instructions and plops down on the pillow. Stares up at both sibling and new acquaintance, finally looking at them, and finally looking at them from a position that makes him look as small as he feels right now.
Okay. Okay. Bones seems willing to listen, Michi is always willing to listen, Kai can do this.
“So, uh... more and more lately, it’s like... I’m just uncomfortable. It's been months, and - uh, it took me way too long to figure out why, but it’s like... I don’t know. And then at first I figured it was just insecurity or something, since I’m not really... I don’t know, masculine? So I grew the beard, and - and I like the beard! Most of the time, anyway. But it just made me notice some things more.”
Kai stops. Shifts uncomfortably in his seat before carrying on.
“I don’t - I used to get people thinking I was a girl a lot, because of all the pink I guess, and I - I didn’t mind that! But it hasn’t happened for a while now, and then - some days it’s not an issue, but then some of the time - like, someone called me young man at the hotel today, and I hated it. It’s not every day, though, so - I figured maybe I was just overreacting or something?”
“Maybe this is just - I’m tricking myself or something? Because like - Michi, you always seemed so sure from when you figured it out that you were just - y’know, and then Hibi’s known he was a guy from like as far back as I can remember, and just - I don’t know, and then the other week I was talking to this guy and he was a guy but then he wore dresses sometimes so I tried to ask him but he got mad at me and-”
That last part’s delivery grows more and more frantic until he finally cuts himself off, and sighs.
“I don’t know. Maybe I just need to get over myself.”
“y’knew ‘e was comin’ and y’still had a break ‘fore he got here. and now y’want me t’ give ya ‘nother one, just ‘cuz y’ask nice? yer kiddin’.”
this is, of course, when bones would normally continue to be a brat and threaten to rat them out to leilani. ask why they came to work in the first place, or what’s wrong with hanging out and talking about stuff surrounded by knickknacks and even tackier shirts, or even jokingly suggest that no, they’ll hang out with kai while michi finishes up their shift alone.
except that it’s been made clear kai is michi’s baby brother, which makes him a kid. and what kind of asshole denies a kid of their sibling after they spent however long already travelling to see them? and he already seems so uncomfortable being in the shop…
better to just let him get away from them, right?
“…a’ight.” they’re not completely heartless! “fine. still got a break I ain’t used yet. have it for takin’ ‘im out for pizza or whatever and talk it out. don’t wantcha back ‘til yer done, but y’better come back ‘fore we close. y’ain’t gettin’ extra just ‘cuz y’forget to check back in.”
This probably isn’t something he’s going to be able to talk about all quickly and neatly. Really isn’t something he wants to be talking about over a meal, whether Michi’s friend(?) was serious or not. But Michi’s clapping a hand onto his arm in what they’re likely intending as a comforting gesture, and ushering him back out the door as they thank their maybe-friend for their generosity.
“...I - uh - this isn’t really... I don’t think it’s something to talk about all publicly like that, so...” Kai shrugs his sibling off of him, offers up his best, most rehearsed ‘purely-for-the-cameras’ smile, and starts moving for the doorway. “Sorry, sorry. I don’t want to interrupt your work or anything, so I... uh... I’ll go! We can - we can talk about it later, or - or y’know, maybe we don’t even need to talk about it at all! Haha, I can - I can deal with it on my own, so I’ll just-”
“Kai. Y’ain’t foolin’ nobody, boy.” Apparently their small stature grants them speed even Kai can’t match, because in the blink of an eye they’ve beaten him back to the doorway. “If we ain’t goin’ out, we can talk it out here. Ain’t a problem, dumbass. Not like anyone shops at this shithole. Bones ain’t gonna mind, right Bon-bon?”
does bones know every single person with pink hair that finds themselves in their (mom’s) shop? of course not! it’s a tourist trap. the whole point is luring strangers into the store and somehow convincing them to buy something they don’t need for people they might not necessarily want to spend money on. but at the end of the day, most of their business is repeat local customers, so they know most of them.
not this guy, though.
“dunno.”
okay, that’s definitely a lie. they’re fully aware that michi works here. but who comes sniffing around asking questions like that? cops, that’s who. and not the kind like nanu, fine enough to turn away as long as no one’s being seriously hurt. the kind that aren’t good for business when half of your customer base and employees are in a gang.
“why’re ya lookin’ for ‘em? they do somethin’?”
There’s an edge in their voice that sets his nerves off. Kai clenches his jaw, still avoiding eye contact, and tries to keep his breathing subtle. It would be embarrassing if he started like, hyperventilating or something in the middle of a shop. Again.
Don’t do that again, Kai.
“Uh, nothing recently.” As far as he’s aware. “But um, I’m their-”
He knows how he should finish that, but no. Can’t. So he switches it up at the last moment.
“They’re my sibling? I’m Kai? Kai Screen? Their favourite?”
It’s delivered with that obnoxious tone that turns everything into a question, as if it’s obvious. That works fine if they do know Michi, but if not... there’s no reason to be telling them this and he’s making a fool of himself. Is he making a fool of himself? Oh, god.
Not the most promising. Kai’s doing his best with what he’s got, though, and what he’s got are Michi’s somewhat lacking directions. He can tell that they’re trying their best! But if anything, with the lack of quality that just makes the whole thing sadder. They’ve been living out here a couple of years, and they still can’t give him better directions than ‘left at the blue thing and keep going for like maybe five minutes and then it’s there.’ No street names? Nothing? He doesn’t know if they’ve noticed, but there are a lot of blue things in this city.
“Just, no - no don’t hang up - I said - Michi, no - no, I said don’t, you - ugh.”
Never mind venting his feelings to them, it’ll be a miracle if he can find them. Michi seems sure that he’s here, says they’re heading back from their break now to greet him. Kai’s significantly less sure. Couldn’t they have stayed on the phone? He would’ve been less nervous if they’d done that rather than just leaving him. What if this is the wrong place? Then - well. There’s someone at the counter. If Michi does work here, they’ll know them, right?
“Uh... hey.” Solid start. Kai’s not making eye contact, instead doing the best he can to ‘casually’ browse the stock at the counter. “Does Michi work here? Michi Screen?”
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