Abstract

What if I told you that time isn't constant.

[speedyln]

A lot of this is so true, maybe except the last part... (Partially), about love being a decision. I made that decision to love you long ago. I still do. And I'd still move water for you even though it may seem like I never tried or made an effort. I just wouldn't be able to tell you what changed. For what it's worth, even though it may not matter anymore, there was never another girl in the picture. You were and I believe you still are one of the good girls. I legit wish you a happy life and all the best.

[speedyln]

To the girl in the torn jeans

A new born baby enjoys milk from a mothers breast. Feeding time is probably like heaven on earth, the one thing that can make any infant pause the water works even if only for a moment... Then the baby grows teeth and discovers porridge, vegetables and meat... A discovery unfathomable. One that makes you think "nothing can be better than this". Then you discover ice cream, chocolate and all sorts of desserts... And you begin to realize that the discovery phase is a never ending cycle. We may fight, argue or dislike each other for a moment, but that'll never change how knowing you and experiencing your being always feels like a new discovery being made that I couldn't once upon a time fathom... You make me feel like a new born baby eager to discover something new and unfathomable. I still crave to be in your presence... I still dream about you... It sometimes feels like a dream, you know the one where I'm yours and you're mine... Except you're really actually mine and I'm actually really yours.

[speedyln]

Words Unspoken

Staring at a blank page, struggling to find the right words… The perfect ones because translating feelings on paper is never as easy as it seems. I wonder if you’d get it or if it would be just another bunch of cute and sweet words beautifully crafted together… In harmony. Wether these are words that'll be forgotten a few months down the line… Or will they be cherished? Will they still mean something to you… Anything at all…? I wonder if you’d see what I see, that which most won’t. Would you understand the things eyes cannot comprehend. Would you stay even if the mind couldn’t make sense of the rapid progression of physiological events taking place in my body directly affected by you. By your being. In the beginning I was skeptical, In the beginning it was fun and games. It was you talking about you, it was me talking about me and apart of me wants to you and I to talk about us. There’s a famous lesson about being slow and winning the race. I want to take things slow with you. explore your mind, dwell in awe of God’s creation. But I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want you to feel as though you’ve been sold a dream. Whilst craving your presence, it dawned on me why alcoholics drink… The reason drug addicts get addicted. It’s so obvious and yet so difficult to understand. A feeling from within, as though your inner soul is telling you that “this” is what you need, coupled with your mind telling you that “this” is what you want… It only makes sense not to resist. Only an external factor would tell you to resist… Why would you fight it? Why would I? I know it feels right, and I know you feel it too… Fall harder for me! I’ll be gentle with you… Fragile. I’ll handle with care. You need not see the calluses of a ballerina or fathom the pain and effort it takes to make it all look so seamless… I can take it… However it’s not me I worry about. I am ready for you but i’m not ready for you. Give me all of you but don’t give me you. I’ll give you all of me, but I can’t give you me… At least not yet anyway. Maybe tomorrow, maybe never. Hope shall carry us through.