Hello! I just wanted to say I've been reading through your fics on ao3 and every single one of them is an absolute rager, you write so skillfully and every fic is always so satisfying. Thank you so much for sharing your stuff, I love seeing Spencer through your eyes. I'm @wheatreceipt if you see me around!
I haven't been on tumblr in ages but I had to reply to this! Thank you so much for your kind words! Funny thing--I have been binge reading your fanfics recently and loving them so much š Thank you so much for messaging me and also for writing such captivating stories!!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Emily Prentiss & Spencer Reid
Characters: Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss
Additional Tags: Self-Harm, seriously sorta graphic self harm so please just know that ahead of time i guess, Panic, Blood and Injury, Friendship
Series: Part 2 of a very incomplete whumptober 2023
Summary:
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Grant Anderson & Spencer Reid
Characters: Spencer Reid, Grant Anderson (Criminal Minds)
Additional Tags: Self-Harm, Anxiety, Depression, Friendship, Whumptober 2023, Violent Thoughts
Series: Part 1 of a very incomplete whumptober 2023
Summary:
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Diana Reid & Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia & Spencer Reid
Characters: Spencer Reid, Diana Reid, William Reid, Jason Gideon, Derek Morgan (Criminal Minds), Penelope Garcia
Additional Tags: Abandonment, Loneliness, Letters, Family Issues, Mental Health Issues, Autistic Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid Whump, Sad Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Financial Issues, Episode: s02e01 The Fisher King Part 2 (Criminal Minds), Self-Harm, Food Issues, implied/referenced eating disorder
Summary:
Diana doesnāt forgive Spencer for having her institutionalizedā¦ at least, not right away.
Ā Written for @tobias-hankelās Criminal Minds Pre-Whumptober Challenge!
Main Whump-ed Character: Spencer Reid
Bad Thing: Abandonment/Loneliness
Bad Person: Parent/Family Member
One Line Prompt: "You know, I write her a letter every day... She has never written one back."
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: The BAU Team & Spencer Reid
Characters: Spencer Reid, John (Criminal Minds: s03e16 Elephant's Memory)
Additional Tags: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Recovery, Grief/Mourning, Friendship
Summary:
Spencer often participates in toasts with the group using water or tea or potato chips instead of alcohol. This fic explores the events that may have led him to stop drinking.
Last time, of course, they knew. They knew heād just suffered a major trauma. They knew he kept arriving late to work and snapping at the team. They knew something was very, very wrong. And they never said anything to him about it, not really. Some vague words from Gideon. A few suspicious looks from Morgan. Utter befuddlement from poor Emily. But no one ever said a word, and so, neither did Spencer.
This time, heās more careful.Ā
Once again, itās not his fault, not really. Or at least, thatās what he tells himself. Itās not his fault he wasnāt coherent enough after being shot to tell the EMTs not to give him narcotics. Itās not his fault he was unconscious when the rest of the decisions about his knee surgery were made. Itās not his fault he limped out of the hospital on crutches with a bottle of Percocet, and itās not his fault he took it, or that he took it upon himself to increase the dose. Small increments, a few days at a time. Heās a doctor. Itās fine.
Itās not his fault his team was too busy focusing on Hotch to notice any of it.
Itās not his fault that when the Percocet runs out, he manages to make his way to a crummy neighborhood in the middle of the night to pay an embarrassing amount of money for a moderate quantity of Dilaudid, and itās definitely not his fault that the relief is so powerful, it actually makes him cry.
No, itās not his fault, he assures himself. But itās still a problem. Itās still a secret. Itās still scary and shameful, and Spencer is weak and broken, and he canāt let any of his teammates find out whatās happening.
He tries to be careful. Itās easy at first, because heās on leave from work. Once he gets back, he does his best to look normal, to arrive on time, to be kind to his coworkers. He tries his best, and itās so hard, and he truly doesnāt know if heās succeeding. Heās not sure of much, at this point. Heās just trying to get through each day the best he can, to manage the pain in a way thatās familiar for him.Ā
Hotch returns to work not long after Spencer, and from the look on his face, he can tell something is wrong. He doesnāt say anything, though. He never says anything. Spencer tries to brush it off, pretends it doesnāt bother him, pretends heās not desperate to just talk about it with someone.Ā
He tries, and he tries, and he tries.
And then one evening, the phone rings.
The call shows up as Unknown Caller, but Spencer answers it anyway, expecting someone trying to scam him or sell him something.
āJust listen,ā the voice says on the other end. āYou donāt have to say anything right now.ā
And Spencer couldnāt say anything even if he wanted to, because itās Gideonās voice on the other end of the line, a voice he hasnāt heard in years, though he hears it in his memories and his dreams more often than heād like to admit.Ā
He waits, speechless, for Gideon to continue.
āHotch called me. We talk sometimes, you know. He keeps me up to date on whatās going on. And he told me that somethingās going on with you. Heās really worried about you.ā
Spencer swallows. Why would Hotch reach out to Gideon instead of just talking to Spencer himself?
What would Spencer have even said if Hotch had tried to talk to him?
āIām assuming itās the same problem you had last time, when you missed that plane, though Hotch couldnāt confirm anything. Maybe itās not that. Maybe youāre just struggling emotionally, or maybe itās something else I donāt even know about. No matter what it is, Reid, I want to help you. I want to be here for you in a way that I havenāt before.ā
Spencer rubs his face with his hand. It doesnāt make sense, none of this makes sense. Gideon left. He left, and heās gone, and Spencer made peace with that a long time ago. And nowānow he doesnāt know what to do at all. Now, nothing makes sense. Nothing at all.
āCan you tell me what youāre thinking, Spencer?ā
Spencer sighs. Pulls at his hair. Wrings his hands out a few times, and switches his phone from one ear to the other.Ā
āI messed up,ā he finally whispers. āI missed another plane.ā
āWe can fix this,ā Gideon says immediately. āAre you home? Are you safe? Can I come to you?ā
āC-come to me?ā Spencer repeats incredulously.Ā
āWe obviously donāt want you detoxing on your own,ā Gideon says matter-of-factly. āIāll come help you.ā
āDetoxingā¦ā
āYou know you canāt keep going like this. Something needs to change. Iām not going to let you kill yourself with this stuff.ā
Spencer is quiet for a long time.
āIāmā¦ at home,ā he finally whispers.
āStay there,ā says Gideon. āIām coming to you, okay? Itās going to take me a little while, but justādonāt go anywhere.ā
āI wonāt,ā Spencer promises.Ā
When Gideon shows up 30 minutes later, a needle and a vial are sitting on the coffee table, but Spencer hasnāt moved.
i have created a new ao3 with the username whateverislovely and moved many of my fics (basically all of my gen stuff except the discord fic) over there. just fyi!
To get everyone ready for Whumptober, I figured I would run a September Whump Collection. To join, just click the questionnaire linked below and follow the instructions listed. I will assign you a full prompt based on what you selected. This form will be open from August 10th, 2023 to August 25th, 2023. I will give everyone their prompts by September 1st, 2023.Ā
āØĀ https://forms.gle/qVTBXJaSeEkBVZba9Ā āØ
š¤ Rules! š¤
1. You must be 18+ to join as the fics can be rated G to E and I will be DMing the prompts.
2.Ā All ships, including readerx, and no ship/gen fics are allowed.
3. You do not need an ao3 account to join this time.
4. Fics are due September 30th, 2023. Chaptered fics donāt have to be finished by this date, just chapter one submitted. Late entries and questionnaires are allowed.
can you give some angst writing tips out (more specifically about spencer's addiction/how he acts during it)? i've been scrolling through your spencer whump collection and it's so addicting and ive been wanting to write my own fic
oh wow, i can try! and thanks for reading!!
i've never really thought about this very much before, tbh, so bear with me as i try to figure out what my brain is doing...
ok, for me i think what i really tend to do when i'm writing angst is try to pin down what emotions i want to convey (examples could be hopeless, helpless, afraid, overwhelmed, angry, embarrassed, ashamed, desperate...) and then really try to think about how those things feel. like, i think about a time when i felt that particular way (the memory doesn't have to be clear, just imagine the feeling) and try to remember the physical sensations, and the ways i acted/reacted, and how i communicated, and the overlapping emotions going on. and then try to describe that, and make that fit with spencer's situation.
it's all about the emotions for me. i prefer to write about things i have at least some sort of experience with, usually on an emotional level. for example, i've never been addicted to dilaudid - but i know how it feels to be addicted to something, and i know how it feels to be ashamed of my behaviors, and i know how it feels to lie to the people around me about my mental health, and i know how it feels to experience trauma, and i know how it feels to be scared i'm going to be fired from my job because i can't keep my shit together. even though i don't share a specific experience with the character, i can still write about the emotions involved, and focus on those most of all.
that's why when i describe spencer's addiction, i don't really go into how he feels when he's high, or what it's like to actually take the drugs, or where he gets them, or anything like that. i don't have experience in those things, so i don't write about them. i focus on the emotional journey he's taking instead. that's just me, though - i know there are people who are able to write about things they haven't experienced personally and can make it incredibly accurate and moving. i just don't know that i can do that.
i guess what i'm getting at is, take the experience you're writing about and draw out the parts you can relate to, and then double down on those. in the end, it's the emotions that your readers will relate to more than the specific experience, because emotions are so much more universal. so that's where you really probably want to put your energy.
i don't know if any of that really made sense, and please don't take this as like, The Gospel of Writing Angst, because it's not, this is just my own take. and i recognize that different people process and experience feelings and emotions very differently, and maybe this won't work for you at all, and that's totally okay! but... here's my best attempt at explaining how i do it, and i hope some of it was helpful <3
i'm so excited for you to write your own fic and i hope you'll share it when you do!
dear anon who saw me lamenting about not having ideas for the discord fic and then was kind enough to send me some ideas,
THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU, YES I WILL ABSOLUTELY WRITE THAT! i'm not going to post the ask right now because it's basically the outline for my new chapter š but seriously, thank you soooo much, I hope you see this and know how much I appreciate you ššš
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 34/34
Fandom: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia & Spencer Reid, The BAU Team & Spencer Reid, Diana Reid & Spencer Reid
Characters: Spencer Reid, Luke Alvez (Criminal Minds), Penelope Garcia, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Matt Simmons (Criminal Minds), Diana Reid, Tara Lewis, John (Criminal Minds: s03e16 Elephant's Memory), Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan (Criminal Minds)
Additional Tags: Post-Prison Spencer Reid, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, Friendship, Getting Together, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Canon-Typical Violence, (only in flashbacks and nightmares i think), Sad Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Autistic Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia is the Best, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Food Issues, Anxiety, Grief/Mourning, Forehead Kisses, Sharing a Bed, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Friends to Lovers, implied/referenced eating disorder, Self-Harm, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Injury Recovery, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Therapy, Boys Kissing, Cats, Communication, Mild Sexual Content
Summary:
And then, suddenly, itās over. Peter Lewis is dead. Diana Reid is safe from everything except herself. Spencer is alone in his apartment for the first time since he moved his mom in all those months ago, and he doesnāt know what to do.
Spencer struggles after prison, but he's not alone.
Or:
The team has six weeks of mandated leave between 13x1 and 13x2. Spencer and Luke spend their time together.
No one ever talks about the fact that Elle Greenaway, Aaron Hotchner, and Spencer Reid all lived at the same apartment complex, The Langham.
We see Elle leaving her apartment when Hotch is following her in 2x6 - maybe that is where he learned about the apartment complex. We can also see Elle getting into her car, which has Virginia plates, so we know this apartment complex is in Virginia - not D.C.
In 5x1, we see Emily go to Hotch's apartment to check on him. This is also when we learn that Hotch is on the first floor in apartment 121. We later see him in this same apartment with Jack and Beth in 7x23 and when he is arrested in 11x22, just to name a few.
We see the outside of Spencer's apartment in 9x24 when Alex goes to leave after taking Spencer home. Spencer looks outside and watches Alex get into a taxi. We can see part of the green canopy and the street when Alex walks, but we can also see Spencer standing at the window. The window matches the same windows on The Langham. We can even see a spot on the sidewalk where the street lamp used to be. This is also when we learn that Spencer is on the second floor, apartment 23.
In 1x22, we see Elle be attacked in her home - not an apartment - meaning she moved into Langham apartments after her attack.
Up until Hotch was divorced, he lived in his home in Arlington, Virginia with Haley and Jack - so we know he moved into the complex sometime around season three or four.
We didn't see Spencer's apartment until season eight but we know in 3x2 that Spencer's Volvo has Washington D.C. plates but when we see his car again in 10x13, he had Virginia plates. We can assume that means that Spencer moved from Washington D.C. to the Langham apartments in Virginia at some point between season three and season eight.
Meaning, Elle lived in the Langham apartments before Hotch and Spencer - but Hotch and Spencer lived there only one floor apart at the same time.
Nothing will be funnier that that little scene in Memoriam where the rest of the team were trying really hard to see the bright side on William as an "father" by pointing out how he had been stalking Spencer for a while and for his response to be "Oh. He googled me. That fixes it all :)" and storms out to sull somewhere.
Like the intention was SWEET but my brothers and sisters in Christ what did you think was going to happen lmao
What was their logic??? I love that Spencer was like oh thank god he did lower then the bare minimum everything is fine now. āŗļø This makes up for the past 10+ years Iāve spent being my mothers caretaker now letās walk into the sunset now and be a happy family again. Oh wait that would assume we actually spent time together in the first place.
