Things are still a bit rough...
I'm in this weird place at the moment where I’m out to my friends and most of the people at my school know bc of rumours I guess but none of my family really know. I tried to talk to my parents about it last October but the conversation didn’t really lead anywhere so now I’m in this weird place at home where my mum knows that my friends call me Spencer and that I’m trans but because we haven’t properly talked about it.
The main reason I think I’m having a hard time with trying to prOperly come out is because of how my last conversation with my parents went. I think where I went wrong was starting the conversation with “I think I'm trans” not “I’m trans” because it took the conversation to a place where we weren’t really talking about me being trans it was every oTheR thing except me being trans. But most importantly I asked if they could call me Spencer and my dad just said “No”.
Then I booked an appointment with a gender therapist which initially was helpful and I had the intention of booking another appointment but afterwards, I thought about what he wanted to talk about. He just kept talking me changing schools and going on hormones - 2 things I’m not ready to do. And idk, In retrospect I think I should have booked another appointment but because it was me booking it and not my mum and in my head, I justified it because if I'm not willing to change schools and I'm not ready to go on T then what's the point?
Now it’s even harder to come out because my grandma moved in with us and she’s super conservative and I really don’t feel comfortable telling her yet and she’s always around now so I can’t not tell her if I fully come out.
anyway, on a more positive note:
I have come to the decision that by the end of the month I’m going to properly come out to my mum.
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