Something Worth Staying For
Note: I'm baaaack, sort of :) this was requested in my mentions shout out to you b <3 I hope you guys like it even if it is very ugly and poorly written !! Love y'all
Spencer spun around in his swivel chair, a pen caught between his teeth as his eyes scanned over the file for a new case inside the manila folder in his hands.
"I don't know how you're not dizzy," JJ says as she strides past him, eyeing his movements.
"I have a high tolerance for dizziness," Spencer responds quickly. His eyes moving up from the file just once to glance up at his co-worker only for him to do a double take and focus his gaze on what was going on behind her.
Stepping into the room was Rossi with a woman, a beautiful and ethereal looking woman. She was laughing, exposing the pearly whites hidden behind her plump red-stained lips. The pen in Spencer's mouth suddenly slipped from his mouth and as he reached out to try and catch it, the file in his hand ended up falling too causing a mess of papers to go flying into the air which earns him a look from JJ and Emily.
He could feel his cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he hurriedly bends down to pick up his mess and he hears a small giggle leave your lips. He's mentally cursing himself out until a pair of shoes appear in front of him and then hands sliding around on the floor gathering up all the loose papers. As all of the papers are gathered back up, the two of you stand up face to face with a warm smile on yours, offering him the stack you had collected.
"T-Thank you," Spencer stutters out nervously. You give him another smile before your eyes wander over to his desk, his latest novel resting underneath the mess of paperwork catching your eye.
"Lord of The Rings?" You question, nodding over at the book. Spencer does a quick 180°, looking back at his desk and then back towards you.
"Yeah, I've actually already read it multiple times," Spencer answers. Again, he mentally curses himself out for accidentally coming off as a show off.
"Me too," you winked. Spencer's heart fluttered at the gesture and all he could do was return it with a faint grin.
"Guys, this is Y/N, a friend of mine I met over my book tour," Rossi announces, reappearing at your side. "She is an exceptional author herself, wouldn't say she's as good as me though."
You roll your eyes and playfully jab him in the arm. Emily snorts out a sarcastic 'sure' which causes JJ to stifle a laugh. Penelope suddenly rushes into the room with Derek on her tail, a look of betrayal on her face.
"Y/N is here and no one thought to get me?" She asks, a hurt tone in her voice.
"Ah, Garcia here is a fan of your work," Rossi says to you.
"Oh my god, you're even better looking in person than you are in your pictures on the back of the book," Penelope says as she shuffled over to you. "They don't do you justice!"
You let out a half-embarrassed and half-amused laugh as you mumbled a quiet 'thank you'. When Derek went to go introduce himself, Spencer felt himself go stiff as he watched his friend use the signature flirting moves he always did, but to Spencer's relief - you looked as nice and as neutral as you had already been and most importantly not swooning over Derek.
Everyone continued to talk to you and ask you the basic questions about life and Spencer was impressed with how you seemed so engrossed in literature when any of them asked you about it. You wrote it, you read it, you lived for it and he could relate.
So when you broke off from the chatty group to go get a cup of coffee in the kitchenette, Spencer picked up his courage and took a deep breath before following after you. He was just so taken, so smitten with you that he had to get to know you even if he was literally convulsing with nervousness.
"Y/N!" Spencer called out, doing a small jog over to you. You greeted him with a smile, something you have been giving him since you first met less than half an hour ago.
"Hey Spencer, what's up?" You ask politely.
"I just wanted to talk to you one on one, I don't do quite well in large group conversations when it's not about something logical or a case," Spencer trails off absentmindedly. He was surprised with himself that he had accidentally shared something that personal with you and it just flowed out of him so naturally, without him even thinking of it.
"I know how you feel," you sigh. "If I'm not talking about my books or any book for that matter, I freeze up. Why do you think I'm over here grabbing a coffee?"
Spencer took in your answer and stared at you in awe, his heart swelling with an emotion he hadn't felt in a while. A feeling that he could describe as excitement and hope and a genuine interest he had in you.
"Would you want to grab actual good coffee with me?" Spencer blurts out, his hands fisting his pants as you peered up at him through your lashes. "That's if you're not busy with Rossi after work."
"No I'm not busy at all, I would love to go with you," you responded happily.
So when the clock hit that certain hour that allowed Spencer to leave, he got his stuff together and found you across the room in Rossi's office, most likely saying goodbye to him.
You were practically bouncing off your feet from how excited you felt. Since you walked in and saw Spencer and his klutzy fiasco plus one of your favorite books on his desk, you instantly became interested in him. He was so cute but at the same time he was so wildly attractive and smart and polite and just an overall dream.
Rossi was watching you with examining eyes as he put his stuff away, multitasking attentively.
"What's with you, kid?" He suddenly asked, breaking you out of whatever daydream you were having.
"Nothing, I have no idea what you mean I'm fine," you retort.
"You're excited about something, I see that little shimmer in your eyes I've only seen you get when you're about to do something either dangerous or out of your element," Rossi says slowly, trying to decide whichever one of the two you were about to act upon.
"Well if you're so interested in my life, old man, I have a date," you said matter of factly.
"A date?" Rossi laughs. "In all the years I've known you, a date has never made you like this. Who's the lucky contender?"
"Spencer."
Rossi almost dropped the objects he had in his hand, immediately gazing up at you with an astonished look on his face.
Spencer was waiting for you, his hands stuffed in his pockets as Rossi's eyes landed on him, sending him a warning look before averting his attention back to you.
"Both of you better be careful with one another's feelings," Rossi cautions. "Don't go breaking his heart either, I'm the one that has to see him every day at work."
You rolled your eyes and gave him a quick goodbye, you'd see him tomorrow anyway. You were staying for a whole month, bouncing between the several book stores in the city and even a bit on the outskirts. Either way, you were in town for a while and for the first time, you were grateful for that.
You skipped down the short amount of stairs and joined Spencer at the end of them where he was waiting for you with a shy smile.
Spencer was hesitant at first, not knowing how to behave when he opened the door to his car for you and then left the radio off to not bore you with the classical music CD he usually left in the stereo. He didn't know how to act in order for him to not scare you off because he really wanted to get to know you.
"Classical Classics," you read aloud as you picked up the empty CD case that was near your feet. You read the back for a few seconds before you reached over and turned on the stereo and the soft melody of Debussy started streaming into the car. "I love classical music."
"So do I," he responds softly. "I think it really stimulates the brain and it's peaceful."
"I think so too!" You agree with a breathy laugh. "When I'm writing, you bet I have classical playing in my ear. I can't get any work done if I'm not listening to it."
Spencer smiled to himself as he only grew more fond of you. You were like a dream to him, a beautiful and unreal dream that shares so many similarities with him that it might be too good to be true.
When he pulled up to the coffee shop, he hurriedly got out of the car and opened the door for you like the gentleman that he was. He led you into his favorite shop and ordered his coffee and pastry and waited patiently while you did the same.
It was then, when you sat across from each other at a table with a warm beverage and a sweet snack that the two of you began to unwind and share so much about each other.
Spencer listened closely to every word that left your mouth, loving the sound of your voice and entranced with any history of yours that you told him. You told him about your family, how you got into writing and how you were discovered, how long you were visiting for and how you had lived in this city for so long - hoping that one day you would be able to leave and when you finally did, you never stayed permanently.
"Why?" Spencer asked, a little hurt that you did not like being here. He wanted you here, more than anything but he realized that a month was not very long and you would leave just as fast as you arrived.
"I don't know," you frowned. "I'm restless, I have nothing here that makes me want to stay. I like traveling, seeing new things and experiencing new things. I don't get that same excitement here that I do when I'm gone. I love book tours because I'm never in the same place for so long. There's just nothing exciting for me here."
In a way, that was a warning to him. As much as you liked each other, he wasn't sure whether that would be enough to keep you here. You were wild and desperate for adventure, and he knew that now. But you were like a magnet and he couldn't pull himself away even if he knew you would leave in the end.
And he was right.
You spent the whole month together, every day you would hang out with him. The two of you had knocked down each other's walls, exposing the truths that no one else knew. When you were together, there was a vulnerability and such a strong emotion that anyone around you could feel it. Spencer had grown attached and so have you because when the day came for you to leave to the next area in the country, for the first time in your life you were torn.
You had gone down to the BAU to say goodbye to all your new friends, to Rossi and unwillingly, Spencer.
Rossi frowned to himself when he saw how sad your eyes looked, something he has never seen in all the years he's known you. You were always so happy and full of life, excited to go to wherever the plane ticket would take you - but not today.
"You don't have to leave, kid, I've told you already," Rossi whispers as you're giving him your farewell hug. You remembered what he had told you the day before, trying to convince you to stay for your sake and Spencer's. You had been traveling non stop for so long and sooner or later you needed to settle down. A book tour was always there, waiting for you to take on with every successful book you've ever written, but the connection you made with Spencer might not withstand the time. "Yes I do, it's my job," you say back.
Rossi chuckles sadly to himself. "You don't know how many times I've used that line."
As you pulled away from Rossi, you see Spencer standing afar. He had bags under his eyes indicating the lack of sleep from last night.
"I'll walk you out," Spencer says as he approaches you. You give him a silent nod, letting him lead you out of the BAU with his hand on the small of your back. You gave everyone in the room a farewell wave as you stepped into the elevator and they returned it until the door slid closed in front of you.
Spencer was awkward beside you and you could feel it. He was usually talking your ear off and you would always happily listen, but today he was rigid next to you and solemn.
When you were outside, the cab already parked and waiting for you just made the situation all that much real. You turned towards Spencer, your lip caught between your teeth as you chewed down on it in anxiousness. You stood there motionless, not knowing what to say or what to do to say goodbye to him.
You were grateful when he made the first move and pulled you towards him in a tight hug. His arms circled around your lower back and your arms were thrown over his shoulders with your hands entangling themselves into his hair.
"I'm sorry, Spence," you whisper tenderly. "I'll miss you, so much."
"Please don't leave," Spencer says. His heart was throbbing with every second that went by as he knew it was one less second with you. He wanted to kiss you, so bad, but he knew if he did it would only make things worse. Then it would be nearly impossible to let you as if it wasn't already bad enough.
You wanted to respond that you don't have anything to stay for, as that was always your usual line, but this time you'd be lying.
"Goodbye, Spence," you brokenly say, pressing your lips against his cheek for a few moments before pulling away from him.
Spencer watched as you walked away from him and hopped into the the cab. Your eyes sending him one more goodbye before you finally disappeared down the road. He let out a shaky breath he didn't even know he was holding and used his palm to wipe off the single tear that was sliding down his cheek and forced himself to go back into the BAU building.
His team was waiting for him with sad eyes and Spencer had to swallow down the lump in his throat to assure everyone that he would be okay.
"You really liked her, didn't you?" Derek asks him one day as Spencer sat idly at his desk staring at his Lord of The Rings book.
"Yeah, I did actually," Spencer answers. "I miss her."
"I think she'll come around," Derek says hopefully, staring at his friend sympathetically.
Spencer spent the next few weeks moping around, a little detached from everyone and everything. Everyone watched him with careful but knowing eyes, never really wanting to say anything that would bring him more down. He was hurt but he knew he shouldn't dwell on the fact that you might never come back but he couldn't help himself. He could honestly say that he might have fallen in love with you in that short span of a month that he had known you though as cliché as it sounds it felt like he had known you longer.
It was the second week Spencer had spent without you and he couldn't be more miserable. Little did he know, you were feeling the same way. He would text and call you but with your busy schedules and lack of physical being, it just wasn't the same.
You gathered up all your stuff from the wooden table and slung your bag over your shoulder with a heavy sigh. Your book signing had just ended and all you wanted was to go home and sleep, and be with Spencer.
The cold evening air of Seattle nipped at your cheeks and nose, a shaky breath leaving your mouth as you hugged the jacket closer to your body. You watched jealously as a couple in front of you snug closer to one another and you found yourself wishing so badly that it was you and Spencer. You felt more restless than you ever had been ever since you left which is the opposite of everything you've told yourself since you moved away from your home city.
"What am I doing?" You mutter to yourself, stopping in your steps and processing the new plan that snuck it's way into your brain. You quickly dialed up your agent and canceled any other book signing lined up for you and bought the next flight back home.
Home, where Spencer was.
The next day, Spencer was sitting in his living room, mindlessly flipping through another book as he got lost in his thoughts. He missed you <i>so</i> much, words couldn't describe. He was hoping for a miracle, for anything that would bring you back together.
When there was a quick string of knocks on his door, he pushed himself off the armchair and slumped his way over to the door.
"Who is it?" He asks as he pulls open the door. Almost immediately, a body slams into his, almost dropping him onto his ass but he luckily steadied himself. Arms are tightly wrapped around his shoulders and when he looks down his heart nearly leapt out of his chest. There you were, in the flesh, holding him in a bone crushing hug. He laughed in disbelief, placing his hands on your hips and making you face him.
"How are you here?" He questions, a happy smile decorating his face.
"I quit my tour, I've done enough," you answer.
"Why are you here?" He asks quietly, knowing confidently that he was the reason why. He just wanted to hear you say it.
"I found something worth staying for," you smile, grabbing ahold of his hand and running your thumb over his knuckles. Spencer's smile only grew more as he hugged you tightly once again, ecstatic to have you back in his arms and this time permanently.
