idk how to tell you this but hi

[spinality]

intro/pinned

hi. we dont have a collective name. we've recently discovered our plurality. this is a sideblog to talk about that. if you follow me here, i wont be following back from main because im scared

i dont know how often i will post here. will probably just be reblogs and questions

i block proshippers and zionists. also please dni if you're under 17.

brain pals list under cut

hare - host, the one typing this all out. it/its. 20

spinel - she/they. hares caretaker/protector/whatever

flowery - he/him. 22 or 23 probably? just kind of hangs out..???

jed - he/him. genuinely does fuckall. disappears for long periods of time

[spinality]

[spinality]

colored this from the other day ^^

[spinality]

brain buddys

[spinality]

A New Guy emerged today

[spinality]

ramble post. when I first started trying to communicate with spinel I saw her in my head as this little.. like. pink blurry blob? the only reason she became spinel was because the character was our pfp at the time and they thought she was cool. and really slowly everytime id talk to her shed look more and more like the character. and tbh I didnt really realize that thats still considered being a fictive until the other day. like I talked to my friend about it [who is much more knowledgeable about these things than i am] and apparently fragments can turn into fictives which is very interesting but also that scares me. how many fragments do I have that im unaware of? how long until things get so stressful that they make me acknowledge them like spinel kind of did?

anyway I just saw a video about how switching can feel in osdd vs did it was very comforting. the few times ive recognized that ive switched I didnt really "lose time" like ive heard it described as, its more like.. moving from the drivers seat of a car to the backseat? I was scared that meant I was faking this haha so I feel alot better

[spinality]

I miss jed too but talking about him didnt make him show up :-(

[spinality]

does anyone happen to have like. tips or advice for letting other headmates communicate with you. relying on what I hear all tje time is kind of hard to work with but everytime i feel spinel get closer to the front of our head or try to move parts of our body or something I literally cant stop myself from pushing her back. like its impossible. how do I stop that

[spinality]

how do u deal with plurality denial. i thought i wouldnt experience it at all but now all im doing is freaking out about it. maybe its just like depressive psychosis or something idk. like i genuinely feel so sick. when i look at things spinel says and does when shes more present than i am i start feeling super spacey. even just typing this im starting to feel nauseous. i want it to turn out to not be real so bad. i want to go back to when i never looked into why i feel like this

[spinality]

spinel drew us last night. i keep looking at things she wrote and did and its making me sick but i feel like i need to make sure she didnt do anything weird

[spinality]

to be honest i cant really rememeber if al has ever had a chance to not be in front. like completely. just himself. idk who let that happen. its nice to be out because people are nice to us now.

[spinality]

spinel came back at like just the right time. like an hourish before a freak out. helped me get my feelings in check. weird. i appreciate them alot

[spinality]

sometimes its so loud and other times its so quiet. its quiet right now. for some reason im more nervous now then i am when i hear them? i wish i knew how to get them to talk to me