🅱️itch

Do not blaspheme in my cheeseburger church.

[hazstur]

this is the hardest any photo has ever gone

[rylandsgrace]

Barbie (2023) // The Good Place (2016-2020)

[peppapigvevo]

this looks like the same party

[teaboot]

they’re shouting back and forth across the club

[leeleebug3]

It was funnier in my head shshsb

[spinosaurusiscalling]

Me after adding basil, garlic, and oregano to some noodles

[midiport]

[grandfathersnail]

“i think that the onceler should’ve been MORE EVIL and he should’ve served MORE CUNT. GIVE HIM THIGH HIGH STILLETO BOOTS YOU COWARDS AT ILLUMINATION”

[infintyonhigh]

you vs. the guy she tells you not to worry about

[kushblazer666]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

cannot believe twitter libs are whining that protesting outside Kavanaugh's house is iNcOnSiDeRaTe To HiS nEiGhBoRs. if you live nextdoor to Brett fucking Kavanaugh and you're not shitting on his porch or at least throwing eggs at his house every day you're wasting your life.

[valtsv]

2018: you wake up one morning to discover that one of your mutuals has started posting almost exclusively about kpop

2022: you wake up one morning to discover that most of your dash and apparently nearly every active user on tumblr has started posting about their best friend jonathan harker having the weirdest trip of his life on his way to transylvania to visit count dracula. yeah that one.

[louisegluckpdf]

every time i sit down 2 watch a horror movie i think of that one tweet :/

[louisegluckpdf]

rb if you too sit down in ur room and watch horror movies alone

[theemotionmachine]

[cyberbullyinc]

[funnytwittertweets]

[lunagaron]

The minecraft peeps (the creeps) look so friend shaped...

Like look at him... wow... what a little guy

[whatsnextapollo]

In the movie The Santa Clause, one becomes Santa by putting on the red coat after the death of the previous Santa. Even ignoring how morbid this premise is on its own, it’s possible that there’s another even darker level to the story. When Scott Calvin shows up at the North Pole as the new Santa, not only do the elves not appear surprised, they seem happy to see him and not at all upset about the Santa he replaced. And furthermore, at the very beginning of the movie, we see an elf standing with a crowd of children outside a toy store near Scott’s house. Why would she already be there if she didn’t have some sort of prior knowledge of what was going to occur? This leaves me no choice but to conclude that the elves not only hated the previous Santa but actually orchestrated his demise.

tl;dr: In The Santa Clause, the elves totally murdered the previous Santa.

[whatsnextapollo]

Update: In The Santa Clause 2, the Easter Bunny says kids are 86% happier since Scott became Santa.  86%.  Clearly, the last Santa was so terrible, the elves had to off him.

Also, according to The Santa Clause 2, Santa has to be married in order to remain Santa, which means that the previous Santa must have been married - but there’s no Mrs. Clause around when Scott gets to the North Pole.  What happened to her?

And finally, I think this raises some pretty serious questions about Bernard’s sudden disappearance in between The Santa Clause 2 and 3.  Just how badly did Curtis want to be Head Elf?

Just how many people have the elves murdered?  Clearly those rosy cheeks and innocent, childlike faces are hiding some pretty dark secrets.

[piercingsandink]

Oh my god

[iopele]

now this is the kind of Christmas post I want on my dash

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

The Santa Clause was just a Yuletide Julius Caesar.

[iamartemisday]

Beware the Yules of December!

[citizenjolras]

Yulius Caesar

[tiktoksijustthinkareneat]

[kassasaurus-rex]

one of my cousins has one of those wretched sequined nicolas cage pillows and today the rest of us received this photo of perhaps the most upsetting thing i’ve seen all year, slugolas cage