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Simone Weil, “The Love of God and Affliction,” Waiting for God

‘Accidental Discoveries’

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath May 15 - 1952 (July 1950 - July 1953)

“What is it but destruction? Some mystic desire to beat to sensual annihilation—to snuff out one’s identity on the identity of the other—a mingling and mangling of identities? A death of one? Or both? A devouring and subordination? No, no. A polarization rather—a balance of two integrities, changing, electrically, one with the other, yet with centers of coolness, like stars. || . . .

Never will there be a circle, signifying me and my operations, confined solely to home, other womenfolk, and community service, enclosed in the larger worldly circle of my mate, who brings home from his periphery of contact with the world the tales only of vicarious experience to me, like so [drawing I].

No, rather, there will be two over-lapping circles, with a certain strong riveted center of common ground, but both with separate arcs jutting out in the world. A balanced tension; adaptable to circumstances, in which there is an elasticity of pull, tension, yet firm unity. Two stars, polarized: [drawing II] like so, in moments of communication that is complete, almost, like so, [drawing III] almost fusing onto one. But fusion is an undesirable impossibility—and quite non-durable. So there will be no illusion of that.”

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