Warrior Poet

the poetry of @suffewingowo

[spiritus-malum]

Well hi there! It's me, you're old friend Maarika! (@suffewingowo)

This is my poetry blog, used to be a lot of edgy shit from my early collegiate years! I didn't delete any of that, so if you scroll back you'll find it.

No matter why you're here, enjoy your stay! <3

[spiritus-malum]

Fangs that bite, and gnash, and shatter.

Bones that bend, then break, then clatter.

Screams that swell, then fade, now laughter.

[spiritus-malum]

Boxing at shadows,

my rage burns ever hotter.

I seek reprieve.

The silence deafens,

louder than thunder booming.

I desire calm.

For something unreal

the shadows have sharper fangs

than even I do.

[spiritus-malum]

More than hunger, more than yearning

I, Desire, always burning

Even when I have my wants

Hunger deep within me haunts

Give to me your heart, forever

How I ache for you, and clamor

You don't even know it though

Will I tell you? I don't know

[spiritus-malum]

Crammed together on a small couch, you rested your head against my chest.

Even though it didn't mean anything, I wish it did.

I wish I could've laid my arm over your shoulder, and kissed the top of your head.

I wish you would've stayed there longer then eleven minutes. Eleven minutes where my mind was racing, but was so calm at the same time.

I wish I wasn't so easily lost to the sensation of being loved, as if I'm never loved enough.

I wish I wasn't constantly wondering how much love I can gift out to those around me.

I wish, years ago, my self worth hadn't become so tied to how well I love others.

I wish I knew if this was just a fluke of my heart, or if I really love you that way.

I wish I could abandon the feeling, even temporarily, and not risk ruining something that was already good.

I wish I was back on that cramped couch and your head was on my chest again.

[miamaimania]

“A poem, an exercise in omitting letters” ⌇ Thomas Penny · concrete poetry

[spiritus-malum]

Within the shallow shoreline water I see another smile that looks so similar to mine, I stare there for awhile.

We both show teeth, but both our smiles don't reach up to our eyes We both know pain, and both use smiles to cover and disguise

I drop the smile that I wear, and she does too, I see- we stand there silent, and just stare, we both just want to be

Be understood, be loved, and love for others in return I stare into her watery eyes, and mine begin to burn

Our pain is not the same, but just a turned reflection so But even for our differences, we both must certainly know-

just how it feels, just how it burns, to want for something small and feel as though the world is cruel, to get nothing at all

But then I kneel down along the shoreline, and I smile I reach into the water and embrace her for awhile

Even if the pain is there, and lingers in our hearts I'll impart a piece of me, that will not dare depart

And when the pain is strong enough, my smile begins to fade Until I think of what she said, and the memory that it made

[spiritus-malum]

Wrapped so tightly into coils

Within the mind the Dragon boils

Flitter on your glittered wings

Listen close the Dragon sings

Fog of clouds as now she dives

Watch the Dragon soar the skies

[spiritus-malum]

Sleep seems to allude me, she dances to the side.

I chase her oh so foolishly, in body and in mind.

She dodges every grasp I make, she ducks neath every grab.

For every single step I take, she takes a dozen back.

Goodnight, I wish, to some I love, who come to me before.

The before the laying, looking above, before the awful bore.

Before the sleepless night winds on, before she sings again.

The sweetest melody upon the sleepless voice, my friend.

So count your sheep and hum your tunes, be blithe in song and slumber.

And tomorrow when I drag and moon, please understand my lumber.

For as I chase her, still, she runs. No poetry can catch.

The girl I want to hold, what fun, never cage that I can latch.

So many pretty things have come, surrendered selves to me.

But the pretty girl named sleep will hum, for ever is she free.

[spiritus-malum]

The day is so dark, yet my shadow so long.

She follows me close, surrounds like a throng,

of eager young lordlings, affixed to my back.

She whispers dark secrets of all that I lack.

The day is so gloomy, though the sun is so high.

My shadow she pulls me, she begs me to die.

To step out of sunlight, be eaten by shade.

To leave the soft snowfield, to leave the soft glade.

I lay in a snowbank, by the side of the road.

I'd lay here forever, long past I grow old.

But I am still running, still chasing the light.

If shade ever catches, I'll never leave night.

The day is so dark though, so painfully dim.

Shades of grey cover both without and within.

I beg you to drag me, away from the dark.

I pray we leave swiftly, I ask, please embark.

[cheacegirl]

🎼I have a cutie girlfriend

In fact I have a few

And when they all line up at night

I'll tell you what I do

I'll slowly walk down girlfriend isle

And sing a little song

And as I kiss the lot of them

They always sing along

Kiss her on the paci

Kiss her on the gag

Kiss her on the muzzle

And nibble in her neck

Kiss her on the tummy

Kiss her with my tongue

Kiss them every single day

And that's the song I sung

[spiritus-malum]

I don't have such subtly. I don't have such lack of want.

I only have my strong desires and admire my ways I flaunt-

how far I can take obsession never lessoned never learned.

I will have my wants fulfilled unless the face of all earth burned.

For I am but a humble creature patient in my wanting ways.

I will sit forever feature til the fabric all at once frays.

Feeble fumbling in the darkness dogged dregs of dog am I.

Give me gravely all I seek or watch witheringly as We cry.

Sunder to the sunless sky the sharpest sheering shine shows me.

Graceless granted greedy godling giving gifts so gormless free.

Sliding silvertongued perceptions past the threadbare dreaming draft.

Surely servile present pensive theorized thoroughly doggy daft.

Lap the blood up off your face in such a truly slobbering way.

As sure as I will eat the sun I swear the night gives way to day.

[spiritus-malum]

My desire to have the things I want, to keep the things I need.

Will, like a spectre, my soul haunt. Will drive my palms to bleed.

I have desires, and ache they do. I have desires to feed.

I long for life, that includes you, too. But in my fear, I seethe.

I grit my teeth, and suck in air. A perfect world envision.

I often wonder, if you, my love, care, what I can have, of my admission.

For within the dream, I sob and tear, away from my emission.

Could I have the cream, could I stay, not err, from all of my bright vision?

A place of love, where all I seek, are gathered in my clout.

No need to lose, instead I keep. I struggle not to doubt.

[spiritus-malum]

Threefold mind all spun in a wheel.

Boiling world, it all seems unreal.

Sit down with me, tell me how you feel.

Ash, blood, rot, salt, and a stain.

Tempered and tempted so often We wrought,

a mire of emotion We'd have rather forgot.

To sink Our teeth in, for never we bought,

a reason for Us to remain.

Is not Our body, nay is not Our corpse.

We hold to it, tightly, We will stay the course.

We've made Our agreement, We have no remorse.

We'll finish this still, just the same.

[spiritus-malum]

Selfish dragon so wrapped in powers,

thinks not in minutes, but in hours.

Every moment that passes by,

is like an hour that seems to fly.

Born of wanting, born Desire.

Happy feelings so often mire.

The longing, waiting, yearning dog,

has high welts from emotions flog.

Should she see all she would want,

would only hold her treasures, flaunt.

[spiritus-malum]

Deep within the gnawing dark, I feel a hand, I see a spark.

I'm pulled onto my feet again by one, I know, who loves me.

I see a star so bright and sharp, a burning light, it blinds me, stark.

I look into its depths and hear the voice of her above me.

Both of us have suffered pain, we have survived, we will again.

I know that, deep within my soul, all of this is worth it.

There is so little in this place, that fills my heart, with ne'er a trace.

But I know that I can still have hope, if only I will birth it.

Fractal lights of colour burn, as all at once, the world does turn.

I close my eyes and feel the warmth, of someone dear who loves me.

[spiritus-malum]

Deep in my dreams, that I won't soon forget. I stood on the lakeshore with you. Saying such fond things, I would not regret, I swore to each word of it, true.

Our hands interlocked, the stars shining bright, our laughter rang out as we danced. I dreamt of embracing, of holding you tight. I dreamt that like bonded wilds we pranced.

I dreamt of the castle, of great rising towers, of bringing you into my own. I dreamt of reshaping, of showing my powers, I dreamt we connected our homes.

I dreamt of a forest, so deep, dark, eternal, my wolves running wild in their leaves. It was much like Our own, though much less infernal. I showed you whatever you pleased.

You marveled at Darkness, the field of the pit, the smoldering coal at its core. You spoke fond of Blindness, the place that's betwixt. You spoke of the castle much more.

The wolves circled round you, so pleased by your presence, the little castellan adored. The towers they greeted you, welcomed your essence, your shape on their walls ever more.

The visit was lovely, but ended so promptly, as pulled from Oneiros was me. But surged in my mind, that feeling so suddenly, that just perhaps I could be We.