Whitty’s Wonderland

The salesman straightened out his coffee stained tie, clearing his throat. Sure, this wasn't where he meant to end up (it had the vibes of his house alright, but his house wasn't exactly on fire all of the time), but there was a door here. And that meant a victim customer. With that in mind, Harold placed his hand in the door, seamlessly making it a part of his "merchandise". Step one: completed. Now it was time for step two...

"Hello! Anyone home?"

[ @door-to-door-door-salesman ]

Hazel just wanted to go out and check around the place. Finally off the phone for the day and just-

Wait....

Hold up.

She blinks. He sets his hands on their hips for a moment.

"...... Are you?"

They swiftly approach and blink.

"Harold?"

She wasn't angry. Amused actually.

"You're still at this stuff? Really?"

She chuckles.

"I'm not the police. And it's not like I mind you takin my doors. It's actually funny, second time meeting and it's played out in a similar scenario. The multiverse is strange like that, I suppose. Wouldn't you agree, hot shot?"

Hazel. Hazel please

Oh. Harold awkwardly raised up one of the doors he carries around, as if that was somehow going to distract Hazel from how much of a bi disaster he was. Emphasis on disaster.

"Uh- Yyeah? I guess so- To be fair, this is my usual... My usual thing, so maybe not that surprising-"

Stop blushing-

Her smile grows slightly. Oh hun it's too late he can read you so fucking easily.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Fate has a strange way of working. Gods do too I suppose. But anyway. Did you wanna come inside? I'm on break and was going to head out to the-"

They point casually towards the amusement park in the distance.

"Park for a bit, some company would be nice. If you have time of course. If not that's fine as well, hun."

The salesman straightened out his coffee stained tie, clearing his throat. Sure, this wasn't where he meant to end up (it had the vibes of his house alright, but his house wasn't exactly on fire all of the time), but there was a door here. And that meant a victim customer. With that in mind, Harold placed his hand in the door, seamlessly making it a part of his "merchandise". Step one: completed. Now it was time for step two...

"Hello! Anyone home?"

[ @door-to-door-door-salesman ]

Hazel just wanted to go out and check around the place. Finally off the phone for the day and just-

Wait....

Hold up.

She blinks. He sets his hands on their hips for a moment.

"...... Are you?"

They swiftly approach and blink.

"Harold?"

She wasn't angry. Amused actually.

"You're still at this stuff? Really?"

She gives him a look before motioning around where they are.

"I mean look where you ARE right now. You're standing in Hell. I mean your rep for the afterlife dear. You don't want to land in a ring any lower than 3, trust me."

"Oh, that's what you meant-"

Yeah, that made a lot more sense than what he'd said previously. Harold simply shrugged, not looking like he cared much.

"Well, I don't think stealing doors is too high up in the list of crimes. Besides, I do give them back."

If they pay for them, that is, or spook him badly enough for the salesman to drop it and teleport away.

"I get the feeling that's a half truth otherwise you'd have no doors on hand."

She sets a hand on her hip, pursing his lips slightly.

"I'd say it's not my place to judge but then I think I'd be partially lying."

"... Alright, I'll be honest- I give them back only sometimes, but it's... Mostly their fault-"

He did give it back to the nice people, after all, or when he was threatened. The former was considerably better.

"Hey- Mm, faaaair."

She shakes her head with a chuckle. They seem amused though.

"I mean most people wouldn't take kindly to getting their door snatched, honey."

He shakes his head before gently ruffling Harold's head.

"Ah but I guess it doesn't matter right now."

Shit, she had a point. He hated when people had those when concerning him.

"Ok, I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think it means they should shoot at me, y'know?"

He blinked at the sudden display of affection, a smile forming on his face. Huh. This... Was really nice, actually.

"Ah- Y- Yeah, I suppose it doesn't-"

She chuckles.

"I'm not the police. And it's not like I mind you takin my doors. It's actually funny, second time meeting and it's played out in a similar scenario. The multiverse is strange like that, I suppose. Wouldn't you agree, hot shot?"

Hazel. Hazel please

The salesman straightened out his coffee stained tie, clearing his throat. Sure, this wasn't where he meant to end up (it had the vibes of his house alright, but his house wasn't exactly on fire all of the time), but there was a door here. And that meant a victim customer. With that in mind, Harold placed his hand in the door, seamlessly making it a part of his "merchandise". Step one: completed. Now it was time for step two...

"Hello! Anyone home?"

[ @door-to-door-door-salesman ]

Hazel just wanted to go out and check around the place. Finally off the phone for the day and just-

Wait....

Hold up.

She blinks. He sets his hands on their hips for a moment.

"...... Are you?"

They swiftly approach and blink.

"Harold?"

She wasn't angry. Amused actually.

"You're still at this stuff? Really?"

She gives him a look before motioning around where they are.

"I mean look where you ARE right now. You're standing in Hell. I mean your rep for the afterlife dear. You don't want to land in a ring any lower than 3, trust me."

"Oh, that's what you meant-"

Yeah, that made a lot more sense than what he'd said previously. Harold simply shrugged, not looking like he cared much.

"Well, I don't think stealing doors is too high up in the list of crimes. Besides, I do give them back."

If they pay for them, that is, or spook him badly enough for the salesman to drop it and teleport away.

"I get the feeling that's a half truth otherwise you'd have no doors on hand."

She sets a hand on her hip, pursing his lips slightly.

"I'd say it's not my place to judge but then I think I'd be partially lying."

"... Alright, I'll be honest- I give them back only sometimes, but it's... Mostly their fault-"

He did give it back to the nice people, after all, or when he was threatened. The former was considerably better.

"Hey- Mm, faaaair."

She shakes her head with a chuckle. They seem amused though.

"I mean most people wouldn't take kindly to getting their door snatched, honey."

He shakes his head before gently ruffling Harold's head.

"Ah but I guess it doesn't matter right now."

The salesman straightened out his coffee stained tie, clearing his throat. Sure, this wasn't where he meant to end up (it had the vibes of his house alright, but his house wasn't exactly on fire all of the time), but there was a door here. And that meant a victim customer. With that in mind, Harold placed his hand in the door, seamlessly making it a part of his "merchandise". Step one: completed. Now it was time for step two...

"Hello! Anyone home?"

[ @door-to-door-door-salesman ]

Hazel just wanted to go out and check around the place. Finally off the phone for the day and just-

Wait....

Hold up.

She blinks. He sets his hands on their hips for a moment.

"...... Are you?"

They swiftly approach and blink.

"Harold?"

She wasn't angry. Amused actually.

"You're still at this stuff? Really?"

She gives him a look before motioning around where they are.

"I mean look where you ARE right now. You're standing in Hell. I mean your rep for the afterlife dear. You don't want to land in a ring any lower than 3, trust me."

"Oh, that's what you meant-"

Yeah, that made a lot more sense than what he'd said previously. Harold simply shrugged, not looking like he cared much.

"Well, I don't think stealing doors is too high up in the list of crimes. Besides, I do give them back."

If they pay for them, that is, or spook him badly enough for the salesman to drop it and teleport away.

"I get the feeling that's a half truth otherwise you'd have no doors on hand."

She sets a hand on her hip, pursing his lips slightly.

"I'd say it's not my place to judge but then I think I'd be partially lying."

The salesman straightened out his coffee stained tie, clearing his throat. Sure, this wasn't where he meant to end up (it had the vibes of his house alright, but his house wasn't exactly on fire all of the time), but there was a door here. And that meant a victim customer. With that in mind, Harold placed his hand in the door, seamlessly making it a part of his "merchandise". Step one: completed. Now it was time for step two...

"Hello! Anyone home?"

[ @door-to-door-door-salesman ]

Hazel just wanted to go out and check around the place. Finally off the phone for the day and just-

Wait....

Hold up.

She blinks. He sets his hands on their hips for a moment.

"...... Are you?"

They swiftly approach and blink.

"Harold?"

She wasn't angry. Amused actually.

"You're still at this stuff? Really?"

They're both blinking at each other. Showstopping. Wait-

"Hazel?-"

Huh. Small world, isn't it? He just laughs, a small smile forming on his face.

"I didn't expect to see you here, but yes. Need to make money somehow, y'know? I can... Put the door back, free of charge?"

He snickers softly, shaking their head softly.

"Well I guess no one would. I getcha but- stealin the door to Hell? You're lucky it's just me, hun. How much ya need? I don't mind payin since it's you."

'Hun'? He didn't even have enough time to register that sucker punch of information before they delivered the next one, just... blinking at her.

"Ah- Um- No need, you've... Already paid me more than enough-"

Was it hot in here? Of course it was this was hell- The salesman found himself messing with the knot of his tie again, smiling nervously at the demon.

Was that a smile or a smirk on their face? At this point it was very hard to tell.

"Ya sure, darling? I don't mind. Honest."

Was her tone always this sultry? Probably.

"No, it's uh- It's fine."

Alright, so he hadn't heard that wrong then. Ok. This was... This was fine. An attractive person was using terms of endearment on him, maybe even flirting. Perfectly normal. This man is dying-

A shrug after a moment or two. She grins, standing up straight.

"Alright. If yer sure, dear. So how have you been? It's nice to see your dashing face after all this time."

Harold rubbed the back of his head nervously, smile wobbly and lopsided.

"Good! Great. Same... Same as usual. Just, uh, selling doors, y'know!"

He was rambling wasn't he.

A snort with a nod.

"Uh huh. I getcha. Well that's good. Though really you shouldn't be stealing, hun. You could get caught someday for that and it's really bad on your reputation, dear."

A shrug.

"But that's your life, sugar. Not mine."

"... Do I look like I have any reputation other than stealing doors?-"

That line was far crossed by now, actually. The only thing that people recognized him by nowadays were his door abilities, hell, most of them didn't even know his name. At least that was a good distraction for the flirting.

She gives him a look before motioning around where they are.

"I mean look where you ARE right now. You're standing in Hell. I mean your rep for the afterlife dear. You don't want to land in a ring any lower than 3, trust me."

The salesman straightened out his coffee stained tie, clearing his throat. Sure, this wasn't where he meant to end up (it had the vibes of his house alright, but his house wasn't exactly on fire all of the time), but there was a door here. And that meant a victim customer. With that in mind, Harold placed his hand in the door, seamlessly making it a part of his "merchandise". Step one: completed. Now it was time for step two...

"Hello! Anyone home?"

[ @door-to-door-door-salesman ]

Hazel just wanted to go out and check around the place. Finally off the phone for the day and just-

Wait....

Hold up.

She blinks. He sets his hands on their hips for a moment.

"...... Are you?"

They swiftly approach and blink.

"Harold?"

She wasn't angry. Amused actually.

"You're still at this stuff? Really?"

They're both blinking at each other. Showstopping. Wait-

"Hazel?-"

Huh. Small world, isn't it? He just laughs, a small smile forming on his face.

"I didn't expect to see you here, but yes. Need to make money somehow, y'know? I can... Put the door back, free of charge?"

He snickers softly, shaking their head softly.

"Well I guess no one would. I getcha but- stealin the door to Hell? You're lucky it's just me, hun. How much ya need? I don't mind payin since it's you."

'Hun'? He didn't even have enough time to register that sucker punch of information before they delivered the next one, just... blinking at her.

"Ah- Um- No need, you've... Already paid me more than enough-"

Was it hot in here? Of course it was this was hell- The salesman found himself messing with the knot of his tie again, smiling nervously at the demon.

Was that a smile or a smirk on their face? At this point it was very hard to tell.

"Ya sure, darling? I don't mind. Honest."

Was her tone always this sultry? Probably.

"No, it's uh- It's fine."

Alright, so he hadn't heard that wrong then. Ok. This was... This was fine. An attractive person was using terms of endearment on him, maybe even flirting. Perfectly normal. This man is dying-

A shrug after a moment or two. She grins, standing up straight.

"Alright. If yer sure, dear. So how have you been? It's nice to see your dashing face after all this time."

Harold rubbed the back of his head nervously, smile wobbly and lopsided.

"Good! Great. Same... Same as usual. Just, uh, selling doors, y'know!"

He was rambling wasn't he.

A snort with a nod.

"Uh huh. I getcha. Well that's good. Though really you shouldn't be stealing, hun. You could get caught someday for that and it's really bad on your reputation, dear."

A shrug.

"But that's your life, sugar. Not mine."

The salesman straightened out his coffee stained tie, clearing his throat. Sure, this wasn't where he meant to end up (it had the vibes of his house alright, but his house wasn't exactly on fire all of the time), but there was a door here. And that meant a victim customer. With that in mind, Harold placed his hand in the door, seamlessly making it a part of his "merchandise". Step one: completed. Now it was time for step two...

"Hello! Anyone home?"

[ @door-to-door-door-salesman ]

Hazel just wanted to go out and check around the place. Finally off the phone for the day and just-

Wait....

Hold up.

She blinks. He sets his hands on their hips for a moment.

"...... Are you?"

They swiftly approach and blink.

"Harold?"

She wasn't angry. Amused actually.

"You're still at this stuff? Really?"

They're both blinking at each other. Showstopping. Wait-

"Hazel?-"

Huh. Small world, isn't it? He just laughs, a small smile forming on his face.

"I didn't expect to see you here, but yes. Need to make money somehow, y'know? I can... Put the door back, free of charge?"

He snickers softly, shaking their head softly.

"Well I guess no one would. I getcha but- stealin the door to Hell? You're lucky it's just me, hun. How much ya need? I don't mind payin since it's you."

'Hun'? He didn't even have enough time to register that sucker punch of information before they delivered the next one, just... blinking at her.

"Ah- Um- No need, you've... Already paid me more than enough-"

Was it hot in here? Of course it was this was hell- The salesman found himself messing with the knot of his tie again, smiling nervously at the demon.

Was that a smile or a smirk on their face? At this point it was very hard to tell.

"Ya sure, darling? I don't mind. Honest."

Was her tone always this sultry? Probably.

"No, it's uh- It's fine."

Alright, so he hadn't heard that wrong then. Ok. This was... This was fine. An attractive person was using terms of endearment on him, maybe even flirting. Perfectly normal. This man is dying-

A shrug after a moment or two. She grins, standing up straight.

"Alright. If yer sure, dear. So how have you been? It's nice to see your dashing face after all this time."

The salesman straightened out his coffee stained tie, clearing his throat. Sure, this wasn't where he meant to end up (it had the vibes of his house alright, but his house wasn't exactly on fire all of the time), but there was a door here. And that meant a victim customer. With that in mind, Harold placed his hand in the door, seamlessly making it a part of his "merchandise". Step one: completed. Now it was time for step two...

"Hello! Anyone home?"

[ @door-to-door-door-salesman ]

Hazel just wanted to go out and check around the place. Finally off the phone for the day and just-

Wait....

Hold up.

She blinks. He sets his hands on their hips for a moment.

"...... Are you?"

They swiftly approach and blink.

"Harold?"

She wasn't angry. Amused actually.

"You're still at this stuff? Really?"

They're both blinking at each other. Showstopping. Wait-

"Hazel?-"

Huh. Small world, isn't it? He just laughs, a small smile forming on his face.

"I didn't expect to see you here, but yes. Need to make money somehow, y'know? I can... Put the door back, free of charge?"

He snickers softly, shaking their head softly.

"Well I guess no one would. I getcha but- stealin the door to Hell? You're lucky it's just me, hun. How much ya need? I don't mind payin since it's you."

'Hun'? He didn't even have enough time to register that sucker punch of information before they delivered the next one, just... blinking at her.

"Ah- Um- No need, you've... Already paid me more than enough-"

Was it hot in here? Of course it was this was hell- The salesman found himself messing with the knot of his tie again, smiling nervously at the demon.

Was that a smile or a smirk on their face? At this point it was very hard to tell.

"Ya sure, darling? I don't mind. Honest."

Was her tone always this sultry? Probably.

Whitty looked at the page he held in his hand curiously. A demon, huh? One with quite a high bounty. He enjoyed the high-risk high-reward hunts the most, as bringing in most humans was easy, killing them even easier. So getting a challenge was a nice change of pace. Now he just had to find the guy. He got up from his place in the treetop, about to descend, until he saw someone. Whitty hid himself in the foliage again, inspecting the new arrival.

《 @explosive-bounty-hunter 》

Hazel quietly cracks her knuckles, annoyed expression plastered on his face. Great, good, wow, wonderful. A fucking bounty over their head. Not even that long of taking a break from manning down hell and she's being hunted for c a s h. People these days. No respect it seemed.

The demon simply pulls her hair back into a quick bun, wearing something more casual rather than her normal fancy clothes. Though it was still fairly obvious of what they were, considering the tail and horns.

"The time I decide I just wanna go visiting.... fun. What's next? A killing spree?"

From afar that's kinda hard to tell if she's being sarcastic and joking or not.

explosive-bounty-hunter

》》 He blinked curiously, looking down at the other, was that really...? His eyes flicked to the page. yes, yes it was her. He chuckled internally to himself, not risking letting her hear him. He guessed it was his lucky day. Very slowly, he pulled out his pistol, much more long range than you'd expect. Then, he began to point it at her, sticking his hand out of the leaves, and...

》》 BANG BANG!

》》 He fired.

#bigender icon ( hazel )#the gang's all here ( ic )

Like a startled cat, he jumps and one wing sprouts out from her back. Probably being used like a shield of sorts. That.... was a bit too close to have been NOT aimed at her, they could assume.

"What the shi-"

They look back, and up slightly, squinting.

"Who's there-"

The salesman straightened out his coffee stained tie, clearing his throat. Sure, this wasn't where he meant to end up (it had the vibes of his house alright, but his house wasn't exactly on fire all of the time), but there was a door here. And that meant a victim customer. With that in mind, Harold placed his hand in the door, seamlessly making it a part of his "merchandise". Step one: completed. Now it was time for step two...

"Hello! Anyone home?"

[ @door-to-door-door-salesman ]

Hazel just wanted to go out and check around the place. Finally off the phone for the day and just-

Wait....

Hold up.

She blinks. He sets his hands on their hips for a moment.

"...... Are you?"

They swiftly approach and blink.

"Harold?"

She wasn't angry. Amused actually.

"You're still at this stuff? Really?"

They're both blinking at each other. Showstopping. Wait-

"Hazel?-"

Huh. Small world, isn't it? He just laughs, a small smile forming on his face.

"I didn't expect to see you here, but yes. Need to make money somehow, y'know? I can... Put the door back, free of charge?"

#bigender icon ( hazel )#the gang's all here ( ic )#a chat? ( ask )#a new challenger approaches ( anon )

He snickers softly, shaking their head softly.

"Well I guess no one would. I getcha but- stealin the door to Hell? You're lucky it's just me, hun. How much ya need? I don't mind payin since it's you."

The salesman straightened out his coffee stained tie, clearing his throat. Sure, this wasn't where he meant to end up (it had the vibes of his house alright, but his house wasn't exactly on fire all of the time), but there was a door here. And that meant a victim customer. With that in mind, Harold placed his hand in the door, seamlessly making it a part of his "merchandise". Step one: completed. Now it was time for step two...

"Hello! Anyone home?"

[ @door-to-door-door-salesman ]

Hazel just wanted to go out and check around the place. Finally off the phone for the day and just-

Wait....

Hold up.

She blinks. He sets his hands on their hips for a moment.

"...... Are you?"

They swiftly approach and blink.

"Harold?"

She wasn't angry. Amused actually.

"You're still at this stuff? Really?"

Whitty looked at the page he held in his hand curiously. A demon, huh? One with quite a high bounty. He enjoyed the high-risk high-reward hunts the most, as bringing in most humans was easy, killing them even easier. So getting a challenge was a nice change of pace. Now he just had to find the guy. He got up from his place in the treetop, about to descend, until he saw someone. Whitty hid himself in the foliage again, inspecting the new arrival.

《 @explosive-bounty-hunter 》

Hazel quietly cracks her knuckles, annoyed expression plastered on his face. Great, good, wow, wonderful. A fucking bounty over their head. Not even that long of taking a break from manning down hell and she's being hunted for c a s h. People these days. No respect it seemed.

The demon simply pulls her hair back into a quick bun, wearing something more casual rather than her normal fancy clothes. Though it was still fairly obvious of what they were, considering the tail and horns.

"The time I decide I just wanna go visiting.... fun. What's next? A killing spree?"

From afar that's kinda hard to tell if she's being sarcastic and joking or not.

#bigender icon ( hazel )#the gang's all here ( ic )#a chat? ( ask )#a new challenger approaches ( anon )#explosive bounty hunter

explosive-bounty-hunter

Like♡ or Reblog⟳for a starter from the Countdown AU Whitty!

#*grabby hands*/lh #for hazel :]

( @spiteful-angels-and-demons )

Hazel do be wandering? Let’s just ignore my current m!a lmaoooo. Anyway she walkin and uh- alleyway

Sitting in the alley was none other than Blastzone, casually relaxing on a dumpster. His hoodie was casually tied around his waist, meaning he was shirtless. Not like, in a weird way??? Mans just wasn't wearing his hoodie. It's spaced out, so it hasn't noticed Hazel yet.

Huh.

'Big guy' That's not a weird thought at all, right? I mean the guy is fuckin huge so. S'not too weird. Maybe she should go the other way and not disturb this one. He seems spaced out atm and well.... feels kinda weird to just- talk to someone you don't know entirely unprovoked???

"nice body."

Wait- shit he didn't mean to say that out loud...

He blinked surprisedly, looking over to Hazel. Who the fuck- Oh. He looks around, looking for the body she was referring to. He blinked again, before looking back at her and wordlessly pointing at himself with an inquisitive expression.

They nod kinda awkwardly.

"Sorry. 1. That was a compliment. 2. Was supposed to be a thought."

A chuckle escapes him at that. Seems manning the phone for too long had their impulsive side pent up.

He snorts. "Thank you??? And it's okay. My dumb ass thought you were talkin' 'bout an actual, like, dead body."

A soft, light hearted wheeze escapes him at that. She shakes their head, hair bouncing slightly with it.

"That would have been interesting. Again, apologies I had meant to think that, sorry about disturbing you- uh.... why are you on the dumpster???"

( @spiteful-angels-and-demons )

Hazel do be wandering? Let’s just ignore my current m!a lmaoooo. Anyway she walkin and uh- alleyway

Sitting in the alley was none other than Blastzone, casually relaxing on a dumpster. His hoodie was casually tied around his waist, meaning he was shirtless. Not like, in a weird way??? Mans just wasn't wearing his hoodie. It's spaced out, so it hasn't noticed Hazel yet.

Huh.

'Big guy' That's not a weird thought at all, right? I mean the guy is fuckin huge so. S'not too weird. Maybe she should go the other way and not disturb this one. He seems spaced out atm and well.... feels kinda weird to just- talk to someone you don't know entirely unprovoked???

"nice body."

Wait- shit he didn't mean to say that out loud...

He blinked surprisedly, looking over to Hazel. Who the fuck- Oh. He looks around, looking for the body she was referring to. He blinked again, before looking back at her and wordlessly pointing at himself with an inquisitive expression.

They nod kinda awkwardly.

"Sorry. 1. That was a compliment. 2. Was supposed to be a thought."

A chuckle escapes him at that. Seems manning the phone for too long had their impulsive side pent up.

( @spiteful-angels-and-demons )

Hazel do be wandering? Let’s just ignore my current m!a lmaoooo. Anyway she walkin and uh- alleyway

Sitting in the alley was none other than Blastzone, casually relaxing on a dumpster. His hoodie was casually tied around his waist, meaning he was shirtless. Not like, in a weird way??? Mans just wasn't wearing his hoodie. It's spaced out, so it hasn't noticed Hazel yet.