This is fantastic, and it very much captures the essential queerness of their relationship in a way that I feel is sometimes sidelined from discussions of what's going on between them. There's a quote from George Takei about the intensity of the scenes between Kirk and Spock that sticks with me:
“from the perspective of gay people, seeing that is eye-opening. They see the gay passion, the gay attraction, and the gay anguish depicted in those scenes.”
I understand the desire for one of the most iconic quasi-utopias in SF/F to also be a quasi-utopia for queer people, to imagine we could just fall in love and get married and nobody would blink an eye because it's the better future. I get the desire to imagine that as the context of Kirk's and Spock's lives specifically. It's not any kind of moral affront. But it's just not what I see happening on the screen in TOS.
I see layers of repression and guilt, two men struggling to re-package their relationship into some vaguely socially acceptable box that it can never be contained in. They're always saying too much, feeling too much, doing too much, and yet the full depth of their relationship is stifled and anguished and unspeakable.
Their mutual closest friend outside of their own little binary orbit, McCoy, is continually used to distinguish Spock's or Kirk's reactions/feelings from those of a close platonic friend. McCoy is generally supportive of het romances for them, where Kirk and Spock both seethe with jealousy no matter how unreasonable it may be. McCoy prioritizes pragmatic decency where Kirk can barely explain his readiness to torpedo his career for Spock, and Spock flatly refuses to explain his motives or feelings in jeopardizing any number of people for an off-chance of saving Kirk on multiple occasions. McCoy, loyal friend to them both, can be a pushy asshole about Spock's emotional expression, but he's often used to voice a frustration with Spock's denial of his feelings in relation to Kirk, a frustration that Kirk himself—who spends almost the entire series aware that Spock is ashamed of loving him—can't begin to register or articulate.
And at least half the time, Kirk and Spock seem too delighted and enthralled with each other to even realize how obvious they're being in front of other people (they seem to forget other people are even there at times). But they're also anxious about their true feelings being perceived by third parties, and keep covering up for themselves or each other (in particular, Kirk—who can "pass" in a way Spock really doesn't—tends to cover for Spock). Both admit at different points in TOS that they've never truly found peace or happiness. One of the most chilling S3 villains jokes about Kirk's desperate attempts to contact Spock and speculates with blatantly prurient interest about getting to see them demonstrate their feelings for each other. The series finale hinges on Spock recognizing that something is horribly wrong with "Kirk", and on the real (bodysnatched) Kirk insisting to Spock that "you are closer to the captain than anyone in the universe," which ultimately saves him.
I keep thinking of that infamous Roddenberry quote, too:
we never suggested in the series—physical love between the two. But it's the—we certainly had the feeling the affection was sufficient for that, if that were the particular style of the 23rd century.
Yes, we're free to ignore any external statements we want, but in all honesty, I feel like the taboo of their relationship, the conflict intrinsic to what it is, homosexuality not being the particular style of the 60s 23rd century—it's all over the screen.
obsessed with how the very first time we see the gymnasium area of the enterprise on TOS there's a bunch of women in there cartwheeling in a row and then they immediately cut to kirk just throwing himself on the floor. peak 23rd century fitness.
i’m only 7 episodes into the original star trek but something about kirk scratches my brain so well hes just. such a guy. hes a nerd. hes a disaster bi. he likes to wrestle recreationally. he apologises after raising his voice even the tiniest bit. hes in love with his science officer. hes just a lil guy and i love him
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