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WATERDOGS

by MarkE Miller

Just realised that this would be the second time I post this video but it is probably my favourite one on YT right now. I must have seen it like 20 times and It is just too good.

#Gay #Gay Short Film #Olive #Mark Miller

WATERDOGS by Mark e Miller

I just love this video so so so very much

#WATERDOGS #Mark e Miller

Troye Sivan - Blue Neighbourhood Trilogy (Director’s Cut)

I came out to myself on 2007, I was nineteen years of age.

When I was about the age of the children in this video I realised I was gay and after recognising it was something rejected by the people around me, I decided then and there to stop being who I was. I couldn’t bring myself to feel or look for that someone I liked because even after admitting it to myself, I was still very ashamed of who I was. Two and three years later I came out to my parents and I got exactly the opposite reactions I expected from them: my mother rejected me and my father after asking if I had some sort of hormonal disorder or if I have been abused, went silent. Five years later, my mother is still convinced I haven’t “tried dating women” and my father, well my father is still silent.

It took me around twenty years to regain the childish sense of wonder and the desire to find another knucklehead to share life with.

I believe videos like this are giving gay kids the opportunity to not let go of their identity and for that I admire and love Troye.

#Troye Sivan #Blue Neighborhood #Coming Out #Coming Out Gay

See Instagram photos and videos from Connor Franta (@connorfranta)

New avatar and background from this Instagram account. I love his photography.

Travis Bryant - I CAUGHT MY BOYFRIEND CHEATING

So I think this video is important for the following reasons:

“If someone wants to call you, be with you, or text you, they WILL find a way to make it happen - PERIOD.”

“Suddenly, all that attention that was given to me at the beginning to make me fall for him, was slowly fading away - sometimes he would just stop texting me mid-conversation or he forget to call me when he said he would but no matter what happened, Nick always seemed to have an excuse - on top of that every time I will bring it up to him, he would find a way to turn the conversation around to make it look like I was crazy”

“Nick did not say anything about a gay character being on the show. That little thing stood out in my mind but I just slipped it aside along with the rest of my common sense and intuition”

“For so many months I had driven myself crazy thinking that I was paranoid but finally the truth was sitting there in front of my face”

“If there is one thing I want you guys to take away from this is the no excuses rule. This is the perfect example of letting someone take advantage of you by giving excuses about why they are not treating you in the same way that they use to. And obviously it is not always going to be cheating but if someone is not giving you the same attention that they use to, is important for you to realise that there is something else that that has their attention and you are no longer their number one priority”

Jokes aside and recognising that disclosing someone’s real address is completely inappropriate, I am not publishing this for a vase woman type of bonding experience. Rather, I am publishing this because Nick’s and my ex's behaviour are at times too similar and because I hope I can help others like me know when to trust their intuition and say goodbye to people that are not worth it.

I recall forgiving two exes for treating me poorly because they had messed up childhoods or teenage years, forgetting, that I had those as well, and other people had them too, like the guy on this video and neither me or him chose to be shit people.

I know I have to let go, it is just going to take me a couple of months.

#gay monogamy #gay promiscuity #choose love #cheating boyfriend

It is very easy for me to grow love and very hard to let go.

I was watching this movie for the second time and this sequence made me remember of something it was said on the Boyhood (2014) movie, let me find the quote for you:

“We’re all just winging it. The good news is you’re feeling stuff, you know? And you’ve got to hold on to that. You get older, and you don’t feel as much, your skin gets tough.”

And although I would agree that we are in fact, just winging it most of the times, I have to say that every heartbreak I’ve ever felt has been as painful as the previous. I remember being very little and seeing how people treated each other and thinking about just how vicious they were and could be to each other, sometimes purposely, sometimes inadvertently. I made a pact with myself that I would try my best to grow older without ever becoming what at the time I named “evil”.

As I ‘ve gotten older I have redefined “evil” to “selfish” and reshaped my argument around the way we treat each other not so much about the very animalistic urge to hurt and be violent that some people seem to feel, but the way we can carelessly use each other.

Even though I am hurting and even though my ex-boyfriend is probably hurting, I had not and will not let my skin go thicker or tougher. The very ability to keep myself vulnerable in sharing and receiving love with others is what keeps me alive.

#story telling #first heartbreak

Check out our album review of Artist's Lemonade on Rolling Stone.com.

The angst of knowing what is going on but being fearful of venting it out because even for you, it would mean it’s over. Doesn’t make sense to judge my actions now that I am out of love but I now believe it would have probably been better to have said something earlier on and have trusted my intuition.

I love ‘Pray you catch me’ and ‘Sandcastles’.

#Lemonade