spooky

14 | she/her | tw: ed | sw: 190| cw - 181lbs | gw- 135 | i love you | pro recovery | safe place

[spookysk1nny]

pronouns- she/her

update my weight every monday

height- 5’8 or 5’9

start weight- 190lbs

current weight- 178

goal weight- 135lbs

[spookysk1nny]

i just binged. i hate this. my mil works at pizza hut so every night she plantings home something to eat. i wasn’t planning on eating any but i ate all the fries and like 2-3 boneless wings. i honestly hate myself rn. i have never purged before but the urge was so strong to do it. i didn’t. i would just starve myself tmr but i have to eat dinner at my grandmas. i’m gonna kmssss

[spookysk1nny]

someone give me ed tips pls. it’s been three days and im still at the same weight. i NEED tips

[spookysk1nny]

i know i have been gone for a long time. but i’m back. just a little life update for those of you who care. (which i’m sure is v few or none at all.) anyways, i “stopped” having my ed in october. now it’s january (duh.) so lemme explain what has happened in those months. my mom knows nothing. as of now she thinks i’m on a diet. i honestly don’t think she will notice anytime soon unless i faint or something bc i’m overweight for my height. (barely but still) so after i “stopped” my ed, i went on like normal but every so often i would say things in my head like, “i’ll start my ed back tmr” or something but i never would. (also keep in mind that i just started struggling with this towards the end of 2021. so i am still in a place to stop if i want. i know that time is closing in on me but i honestly couldn’t care less so save the speeches.) so i started back almost a week ago. so i’m back. i really would like some tips. for reference i really don’t like the idea of throwing up my food bc i really hate throw up and i am scared someone would catch me. so that’s out of the question. i take a multivitamin everyday and i haven’t noticed that it has helped but i just started taking it. i’m serious about losing weight this time. i have lose like 9 pounds i think. maybe more maybe less. but pls drop some tips for me to do this in the safest way possible and the most effective. you can tell me anything from low cal food suggestions or just something that helps (insert ed symptom here) ily guys <3

[cokelashes]

you should need a license to be a youtuber/influencer . i don't think a lot of them realize that they will be in part shaping a lot of children into the ppl they will be in the future . it's a big responsibility and a lot of ppl just should not be able to do that lol

[spookysk1nny]

i’m back baes

[spookysk1nny]

it’s my moms comments. i’ll always be back because of her comments. i don’t think she realizes how much they hurt me, how hard it is everyday to wake up and hate yourself AND have your own mother hate you. i’m so tired. tired of fighting myself. tired of not wanting to eat. tired of eating. tired of not eating. i’m just tired. so so incredibly exhausted.

[spookysk1nny]

i’m back lol.

[spookysk1nny]

i hate my grandmas house. i have eaten like a pig the past 2 days

[spookysk1nny]

i’m so dumb. i ate a whole burger and fries just now. purging isn’t my thing. i didn’t bring laxatives. i hate myself. i hope the laxatives i took earlier will work with this too.

[spookysk1nny]

i have never purged. i hate the idea. this morning i overate and i didn’t want to purge so i found some laxatives. i did it. i took some laxatives.

[spookysk1nny]

ugh so i weighed myself just now and i’m down to 180. I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE LOWER THAN THAT. idk.

[spookysk1nny]

food log 10-24-21

limit: 300 calories

weight: didn’t get to today

- 0 sugar gatorade - 5 calories

- water - 0 calories

- gum - 5 calories

- 3 servings of brussel sprouts - 135 calories

- 1 serving of kettle cooked potato chips - 150 cals

total: 295 calories

[spookysk1nny]

i’m so fucking pissed off rn. i go to find my low calorie popcorn and look EVERYWHERE for it. i’m at my aunts house rn and that’s the only low cal thing i brought. so i keep looking hoping i’ll find it and i ask my aunt and she tells me her son fed it to the goats. FML

[spookysk1nny]

GUYS MY FRIEND HASNT TEXTED ME BACK IN 3 DAYS. i miss her 😭

[spookysk1nny]

hey guys, i haven’t been to active on here the past couple days. only my food logs really. but it’s bc i’m at my aunts house. i stayed the night last night, so when i get home i’ll catch y’all up. also didn’t weight myself this morning, so hopefully i weigh lower tmr morning. haven’t eaten above 500 cal while i’ve been here.

last known weight: 181

i’ll update tmr morning.

[spookysk1nny]

GUYS. i have not eaten all day, so i found some fun sized m&ms and i was gonna eat them until i found out how many calories are in them. kms kms kms 👹🤌🏻