I Drink So Much Tea

[basketballhoopshowerhead]

Adult things arent NEARLY as complex as I thought they were growing up I just walked into bank of america and said im here to open a checking account and they said ok and opened me a checking account

[makotou-nijiima]

me: “that Pokemon looks cool” Some buttman: “sure, but it’s attack stat is shit and not to mention it’s ability makes it worthless. It’s move pool is so shallow, it can’t even learn good tms. Not to mention that it’s 4x weak to fire.” Me: “he go swoosh swoosh and its cute”

[corsolanite]

[mattibee]

Guess who’s going to college, its this bird! And (sadly) this bird lives in a world that requires money to live, so I’ve opened up commissions! Please send asks to my new work/portfolio blog @mattibee-portfolio​ if you are interested in commissioning me!

Here are some ground rules first:

I reserve the right to say no to commission requests I feel uncomfortable with. (this includes NSFW and provocative artwork)

At least half the commission price must be payed up front before work will be started on it.

Commissions may be used as decorative graphics (such as sidebar images or icons/avatars) by their respective commissioners.

Commissions MAY NOT be used for profit (aka for selling or monetary advertisement)

Commissions MAY NOT be claimed as the commissioner’s own work.

More info and examples of my work can be found organized at @mattibee-portfolio​

Thank you for your consideration!

[gjsjsifisjdkeoskhqudidbwjsidk-d]

reasons guinea pigs are the purest creatures

• if you shake a plastic bag they’ll think it’s their veggies and get all excited

• when they fall asleep they stick their leg out really far and it’s hilarious

• long haired ones are fabulous

• sometimes they squeak loud enough that their ears flap up and down, no i am not joking

• they have their own lil dominance systems within their groups like lil packs of wolves or somethin

• floppy ears

• you can teach them tricks like little dogs, like how to run in a circle or stand on their hind paws on command, or ring a bell for food

• sometimes they lick u with their lil tung

• hairless piggies look like tiny hippos

• when they’re exploring or just runnin around they’ll make little happy exploring noises

• when they’re really happy they’ll do this thing called popcorning which is basically when they vibrate really fast and do a hop and sneeze a little and it kinda looks like they’re glitching out but nope they’re just literally too excited to contain themselves

• for exercise they do zoomies around their cage and the speed they can get to is actually quite impressive

• they can eat cherries and the juice makes em look like vampires

• literally if you just give them food they will love you unconditionally, forever

[ohmyguineapigs-deactivated20181]

❤

[forest-faerie-spirit]

{Barn Owls in The Oak} by {Mike Rae}

[axew]

[butt-berry]

LOOK AT THE BABY PIKACHU BEFORE PICHU EXISTED

[youtube-feels]

Fireworks in reverse

[jeniphyer]

I was waiting for someone to hit me with the snapchat filters 

[moodyspacebabe-deactivated20180]

😍

[tulipnight]

Raccoon with snow by Satoru Kobayashi

[oldfriendsdogs]

[factsinallcaps]

HARRIET TUBMAN ESCAPED FROM SLAVERY AND THEN WENT BACK TO GET OTHERS. LIKE, I KNOW YOU KNOW WHO HARRIET TUBMAN IS AND THAT SHE DID THAT, BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO TAKE THAT IN FOR A SECOND. 

HARRIET TUBMAN WAS HELD CAPTIVE AND BOUND TO UNPAID, BACK-BREAKING LABOR SINCE BIRTH UNDER PENALTY OF TORTURE OR DEATH. SHE MANAGED TO ESCAPE THAT LIFE, AND SHE TURNED THE FUCK AROUND AND WENT THE FUCK BACK TO GET EVERYONE ELSE WHO WAS STILL TRAPPED IN IT. AND THEN SHE DID IT AGAIN EIGHTEEN MORE TIMES.

WHEN ABRAHAM LINCOLN WAS UNSURE WHETHER OR NOT HE WAS PREPARED TO MAKE A STAND AGAINST SLAVERY, HARRIET TUBMAN BASICALLY SAID HE SHOULD STOP BEING SUCH A DIAPER BABY AND THAT GUYS WHO ARE TOO SCARED TO END SLAVERY DON’T DESERVE TO WIN WARS.

NOT ONLY DID SHE SECRET OVER 300 SLAVES TO FREEDOM ON THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD, BUT SHE ACTED AS A SPY FOR THE UNION ARMY DURING THE CIVIL WAR, AND BECAME THE FIRST WOMAN TO LEAD AN ARMED ASSAULT IN THE CIVIL WAR. THAT RAID BROUGHT FREEDOM TO OVER 700 SLAVES IN ONE GO.

SO I JUST WANT YOU TO STEW ON THAT FOR LIKE A MINUTE. ACTING IN THE SHADOWS, SHE WALKED INTO HELL ON EARTH 19 TIMES TO SAVE HER FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS FROM THE TORMENT SHE ENDURED, AND THE SECOND SHE WAS GIVEN EVEN A MODICUM OF POWER, SHE MANAGED TO FREE SEVEN HUNDRED SLAVES IN ONE DAY. 

I GUARANTEE, HOWEVER IMPRESSED YOU ALREADY ARE WITH HARRIET TUBMAN, YOU ARE FALLING LIKE AT LEAST 40% SHORT OF HOW IMPRESSED YOU SHOULD BE WITH HARRIET TUBMAN. SHE IS ONE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF BADASSERY IN THE ENTIRETY OF AMERICAN HISTORY. 

[thecooingdove-deactivated201701]

I just feel like it should be noted that she navigated her way across the Underground Railroad (through thicket and swamp and forest and every risk of wildlife you could imagine) with her own knowledge of the natural world. Some call her “the first Eco-womanist” because it was that understanding of the plant and animal life around her as well as knowledge of the stars that allowed her to bring people with her. Her prowess for dealing with immense problems and obstacles on the spot was nothing short of genius.

[moon-artemis-blog]

She didn’t stop there, either. Harriet Tubman also worked with the Union army during the Civil War as a cook, nurse, scout, and spy. She organized black men in the area as scouts, and often led missions herself with the task of gathering information and to persuade slaves to leave; most of whom joined the regiments of black soldiers for the Union. 

She also got ripped off by the government, who wasn’t paying her what she deserved (and wouldn’t even give her her pension after the war for her service- but instead eventually granted her pension as the widow of a veteran), so she supported herself by making and selling root beer. 

She used her earnings to support free black women, she worked to support two schools for freed men in the south, she provided food and care to the black people that came to her home, and she fought for women’s suffrage. When she died, she was buried with military honors. 

Oh, and when she had brain surgery, she denied anesthesia and instead bit down on a bullet. 

x / x / x / x / x

[factsinallcaps]

THESE ARE EVEN MORE AWESOME THINGS ABOUT HARRIET TUBMAN, GOOD ADDITIONS, YOU GUYS!!

[telegantmess]

Also worth noting that she did all this while living with the results of a traumatic head injury sustained in her childhood, which included pain, bouts of dizziness, and episodes of hypersomnia (sudden passing out) she was not just a badass, she was a disabled badass

[hannahrassy]

That head injury was from when she was trying to save someone else, too. A boy was in trouble with their slave master and the master threw a weight at him, but she jumped in front of him and took the blow. She then suffered from narcolepsy the rest of her life. Also, a cool story about her: One time she was riding on a train, lightly disguised so as to hopefully not be recognized, and there was a ‘WANTED’ poster of her on the train wall. Some guys were looking at it and she overheard them saying they thought she looked like the woman on the poster. Because the poster described that she was illiterate, she grabbed a book and pretended to read it. The men then said it couldn’t be her, and she got off the train safely. She was literally such a smart, quick thinker. I can’t wait to have her on American money!

[felinetay]

can we replace the kardashians tv show with keeping up with the obamas because i’m gonna miss them a lot and i still wanna know what they’re doing all the time. how are the dogs? where does the family travel? what sort of hobbies has michelle taken up in addition to captivating the world with her intelligence, grace, and charm? what are the girls accomplishing? is obama still flirting with biden??? i need to know

[unflatteringcatselfies]

Sometimes she thinks she’s a slug

[comradesaucegay]

teacher: why haven’t you delivered your assignment?

me: after being exposed to the popular anime “naruto” at age 13 my every move has been heavily influenced by sasuke uchiha. he might have left the leaf village, but he never left my heart, and without knowing it i subconsciously adapted several of sasuke uchiha’s character traits and i am now too cool and moody for a standardized education system that does not focus on making me a cool and powerful ninja

[nexya]

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

[charlesoberonn]

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

[terminallydepraved]

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

[loremerchant]

Ancient Shitposting

Now on the History Channel

[self-critical-automaton]

‘People have literally just always been people’ is genuinely my favorite fact about the world

[moveslikekeithrichards]

reblog if u think its shitty to bite someones ankles

trying to prove a point to my cat