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sespursongles-deactivated201906

That article where a law professor argues that battered women are morally entitled to kill their abusers has an interesting quote: “ Men can kill women with their bare hands, and they do. Women almost never kill men that way. They can’t. […] While very few women kill abusive men who are asleep or passed out, it’s “unfair” to charge them with first degree murder, Sheehy argues. “It’s not fair to characterize it as the most heinous form of murder, because it may be their own route to survival. ” There have probably been feminist analyses of this already, but it’s worth discussing how the concept of self-defence, especially in domestic violence cases, was designed by men to benefit men. In my country at least, your attack is only considered “legitimate self-defence” if it is a) necessary, b) immediate, c) proportionate. A concept of self-defence that only applies if you hurt or kill someone while they are attacking you, and if you hurt or kill them using the same weapons as them (your bare hands, if that’s what they are using) only benefits people who are likely to be attacked by people of similar size and physical strength, and is utterly useless to women.

When a bigger, stronger male beats up his much smaller wife, it’s almost impossible for her to kill him in self-defence (immediately and proportionately ie with nothing but her fists), and yet it’s the scenario through which she can hope to be acquitted or get a light sentence. That’s not a coincidence. The other two scenarios (and she will be despised if she picks either) are for her to 1) kill him later (when he can’t use his physical advantage, eg when he’s asleep or has his back turned on her), but it won’t be self-defence because it won’t be immediate. (In the Jacqueline Sauvage case, one of the main arguments against her was that she shot her husband in the back at a time when he wasn’t actively beating her up) 2) use a weapon, but it won’t be self-defence because it won’t be proportionate. Obviously this condition also benefits men, because when a woman gets punched by her husband and she punches him back, it’s seen as a proportionate response but it shouldn’t be, because her punch (typically) won’t do nearly as much damage as his. Anything else she does (like use a weapon) to try and hurt him as much as he hurt her will be considered a disproportionate response and will mean it wasn’t self-defence.

The idea that killing your abuser in a honest face-to-face fight with your bare hands is honourable and forgivable, but killing your abuser in any other way is shameful and wrong, utterly benefits men and protects men. It’s also why poison was historically reviled as a ‘female weapon’ and as the most cowardly way to kill someone. Poison has been described as “a great equalizer” - no wonder men hated it. Men have always hated, and will keep hating, shaming, and outlawing, any form of attack through which women can compensate our disadvantage in strength and size, and they will keep praising as the only valid method of self-defence, the method that presents the smallest risk of being effectively used by women against them.

postitforward

✨ Mental Health Starter Pack for Times of Change ✨

Change can be scary. It can be difficult, overwhelming, and affect our mental, physical, and emotional health in all sorts of ways. Whatever you’re feeling right now, you definitely don’t have to feel it alone. Below is a list of resources and self-care tips to help make life a little bit easier. And if you don’t need them right now, pass ‘em along to a friend who might.

Got more tips? Reblog and add your favorites to the bottom, or make your own post and tag it #postitforward so we all know where to look.

Resources

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Available 24/7 at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Crisis Text Line: Free, 24/7 support for anyone in crisis. Text START to 741741.

IMALIVE: Chat confidentially with a volunteer trained in crisis intervention.

7 Cups of Tea: Speak anonymously with a trained active listener.

NAMI: Dedicated to improving the lives of anyone living with mental illness. Free to chat at 1-800-950-6264.

Trans Lifeline: Dedicated to the well being of transgender people. USA: 1-877-565-8860. Canada: 1-877-330-6366.

The Trevor Project (@thetrevorproject): Confidential suicide hotline for LGBTQ young people. Available 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386.

The GLBT National Help Center: Provides LGBTQ people with free and confidential peer support at 1-888-843-4564. Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743.

It Gets Better Project (@itgetsbetterproject): Communicating to LGBTQ youth around the world that it gets better.

To Write Love On Her Arms (@twloha): Dedicated to helping people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide.

American Psychological Association: A resource for finding mental health care in your area.

NEDA: Help and support for people struggling with eating disorders. You can call 1-800-931-2237 or chat with them online.

Self-Care Tips

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

Remember to be kind to others and yourself.

Drink plenty of water and don’t forget to eat.

Get enough sleep.

Have a movie or TV marathon.

Read a good book. Start a new series.

Read the #positivity and #postitforward tags on Tumblr.

Draw something or color in a picture.

Take a bath or long shower.

Write your thoughts down in a journal.

Turn your feelings into art. Make crafts.

Bake or cook something you like.

Go for a walk. Have a dance.

Watch a funny video.

Light your favorite candle(s).

Listen to your favorite music.

Take deep breaths. Try meditation.

Talk to a friend, a loved one, or someone you trust.

Make a list of things that bring you happiness. (This really works!)

Do some of those things! See those people!

psych-quotes

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.”

― Benjamin Disraeli (via psych-quotes)

artchipel

Curator’s Monday 143

Angela Rizza | on Tumblr (USA)

Angela is a freelance illustrator currently living and working in New York. She graduated from the Fashion Institute of Technology in 2011 with a BFA in Illustration. Since then she has been featured in a number of magazines and shows. Her work is a combination of traditional and digital media which is reminiscent of a classical storybook illustration. Besides artwork, Angela enjoys traveling, birding and photography. She is open to comments, commissions, or questions and is currently available for illustration jobs of any kinds and is looking for an art rep. Thanks sosuperawesome for this Curator’s Monday sharing.

[more Angela Rizza | Curator’s Monday with sosuperawesome]