Love Like Jesus @spreadthetruelight-blog - Tumblr Blog

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Unfortunately, my days on tumblr have become numbered. I'm holding onto something God wants me to let go of. He revealed to me that the reason I stayed on tumblr is not effective. I wanted to reach people through my tumblr, and God told me that people on here are not ready. And I don't think I am either. I have to learn how to relate to people first before I have a blog that can change lives, you know. i don't want to just write things on here and people read them, and they change nothing about themselves or their lives. And that is what I've been told has been happening. It's like oh, that's sounds nice, scroll scroll. I don't want to be just another blog. Because if I'm just another blog, I will begin to look like a self-righteous blog. And that is not what I want. I did not stay here for any selfish reasons. I stayed with tumblr for you all. I quit facebook because there was no person on there left on there for me to stay for. But my profile would still be good for people who wanted to tag me in things.

My blog is not for the purpose of putting out my thoughts and my feelings. It's so people could learn from my experiences and the words that I put on here . I don't come here to vent or release emotions. That is what praying is for. I come here to share my thoughts and what is going on in my life. So hopefully I could either brighten a day, or give some insight to someone.

But you all have so much going on in your lives that what I say is probably not useful to you. It's not relevant to you. We all know that the general population of tumblr is very young. I am 20 years old, junior, college student. My reasoning of experiences is way different than the reasoning of a 16 or 17 year old. I'm not saying this to belittle anyone, it is just the way a normal brain develops. I could get into the neuroscience of that if you want. Okay, your limbic system develops faster than your prefrontal cortex. So teenagers are more likely to do things out of emotions rather than out of their reasoning because their prefrontal cortex has not reached the stage of regulating emotions.

I remember being in your shoes, having your thoughts, going through what you are going through. And if I had come across a blog like this, I would actually have not been interested and would have unfollowed them quite easily. I would have been like oh, you are no fun. Where are the gifs? Where are the funny posts? This person just posts really long posts about their views on things and when they share about their own experiences, they tend to end up with some sort of didactic rule being showcased.BORRING. I get enough of that in school and by my parents. Tumblr would have been a place to escape the real world.

I have noticed that is what tumblr is for most people. A chance to escape from real world and responsibilities. And just be yourself. But that's not what tumblr is for me. Tumblr was a teaching tool for me. And so now I see why I should go. I want to learn how to relate to people and to be comfortable around them. I don't want to escape the real world. I want to challenge it and change it. i can't do that if I'm constantly running from it.

So this is my farewell message.

I don't want to ruin tumblr for you all by being all educationally on here by applying what I'm learning to help you guys. When education is not the reason why you have a tumblr. This place is a means of escape to most of you all. And you know what, I completely understand. I need to escape sometimes, and just be alone so I could get my thoughts together and regroup. .So I don't want to impede that from anyone. Because I get rather agitated when my moment of escape is disturbed.

I wish you all the best navigating through life as a Christian. Life is tough, but I trust that God's with you. Always keep going. Don't let one failure cause you to give up. Don't even let 50 failures make you stop. Always keep going. You will find a way out if you just keep trying.

God bless you all <3

I have to learn to listen to myself. I ask the right question. But I always ignore it.My questions are not actually questions.They are Answers.Like in the library, we had to shelf read for 45 minutes. The book I started with was not on the sheet. It looked wrong. But instead of listening to this question, I denied it and kept on going. I questioned my question. And it turns out, my question was right. So I wasted a whole 45 minutes.

Bah. humbug. People always try to make you feel dumb for asking a question. Ugh of course it turns out, that actually HURTS my achievement. I second guess my answers on tests and get worse grades, and also in life.

It's always been like this. I question my questions, when my question is the answer. I think I just beat half the world on the complex scale.

So I've been reading about JFK's childhood. And he was actually the type of kid who didn't do well in school although he had a high iq.He didn't apply himself. So I'm like listening to the advice people gave him to get his life together.

Because I need to get my life together. I can be a successful person. But I have to trust my questions. They have wisdom in it. They are not stupid questions.

So I have this growing fascination to learn about world leaders. And I realized that Jesus did the same. He would talk to the rabbis and hear them out. Of course, they were like woah,this kid is a genius. But anyway, yeah! I'm excited! I have access to an entire library that has rows and rows of books with information. I can't believe I've been wasting time watching shows ( I'm still going to finish the season- 6 more episodes), being upset about friendships and relational things, when I could be gaining knowledge! Knowledge is power! The good kind of power. If I'm going to be making a difference in the lives of others, I have to know how to lead and hopefully not get assassinated. I can be prepared for assassinations by gaining discernment and relying on God and not myself! :) The power of God could deflect any bullet. Sorry I digressed. The important part is if I'm going to be a leader like Christ wants me to be, my time has to be spent on things that are constructive. Kids at my school, they are not lazy! Whew. I see them, creating programs that are helping people all throughout the U.S. what am I doing? Sleeping. They have such strong ambition. They are doing all the things! They don't ever say they have too much going on. They make it work! There are some who don't fit this description. But those are not the students whose example I want to follow. I want to be like the students who are in the top half of the class. Because of my jv mistakes, my GPA may never reflect that. But the rest of my life could show that I became one of the people I always inspired. Those who were hard working and thought about how what they were doing affects other people, so they did all that they could to make sure that the future generations would have a better life. Jesus exemplified leadership in perfection, which is why He is my Lord. I'm His follower, so I have to become a leader like Him. I want to start acting like it. I have to be like Christ's representative on earth. I'm a disciple. Lol. Yeah, that's the word of course. Not one in words only, but also through actions. Disciple: one who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another.

You know how everyone has like one set of random facts that they are just really knowledgeable of. Mine is going to be on JFK. Yes, now when they tell you in awkward ice breaks to tell you one fun fact about yourself, I will talk about JFK. And everyone is going to look at me like I'm the most insane person ever. It's going to be great. I'm excited.

Everyone has like that one person whose style of leadership you tack onto. My main one used to be MLK, then Gandhi, now it is JFK. I love all of these three leaders. I believe all of these three just wanted what was best for everyone. And that is what I want too. We have the same vision.

According to Kohlberg's theory of moral development, these people achieved the highest level of morality a human being could get to. And not everyone achieves this level. It develops from 20years old and beyond.

Anyway that was really interesting to find out that not everyone reaches the highest level of moral development. Scary actually haha. But this theory received some controversy because Kohlberg used males only. Gilligan made a reformed one for females. But hers don't really capture my sense of moral development because like I've said before, I was taught to learn how to protect myself and live by my standards. I am also very introverted and private. So the whole taking care of others and expecting to be taken care of that Gilligan pushed does not apply to me. I was expected to take care of others and take care of myself. If people take care of me that's okay. But I learned to operate that I have to be able to work well on my own. That's something that is often pushed on males, I think. So I disagree with her that kohlberg's theory made women moral midgets. It's just true that women are taught that oh, you don't have to do anything. Just stay at home, be pretty, and take care of the kids. I will bring home the money. But that's no longer the case like it was during their time. Women are bringing home the bacon, and they are just as important in civil rights as men are, so I think that a large amount of women also are now able to show that they have achieved the highest level of kohlberg's theory of moral development. And actually, they have been for quite a while. It's just that they had less opportunity to show it back in the day, since it was so hard to be a woman and be taken seriously. And they always belittled you. Like oh, you want to go to battle with us? Cute. Stay at home.

So just be watchful on the internet guys. You might be talking to someone who still has some moral developing to do. And then you are there like oh my gosh this is the most distasteful human being I have ever met! Then, you are all angry that they exist. They exist everywhere. It's up to you to help them. Not by arguing with them. But by showing them what people of higher levels do. Come on like, you didn't learn like math or science by someone being like no, you are wrong, stop talking/breathing/existing. they had to show you how it works and then you had to apply it. telling someone something is not going to convince them to apply it. they have to understand how it is beneficial.

I think this is why we have to fast in thoughts and food. Your mind is subject to influence. But your body is always looking out for your self-interest! You have to tame both of them to submit to God.

By fasting you are grabbing both of them by the reins, and stopping your mind from doing whatever it wants, and your body from doing whatever you desire.

I am so glad I went on the ASB trip last year. We got to shadow doctors in a clinic and a hospital. And the doctors were just like the most amazing people ever. They really CARED about their patients!!!

But I had a hard time believing the patients. Like this one girl, I feel like she just had an anxiety disorder, but she always came for heart problems. And the doctor was like heart problems run in her family. And I was like Oh. It may have been both. But then I realized, I think too much. Your emotions do have an effect on your physiology and vice versa. I actually was supposed to take a class on this, but I decided to take it later. But then I was like I'm so much into the psychological nature of things. I'm not really into the physiology of it. The body is a fascinating instrument! Right now, cells are fighting bacteria. Blood is flowing. You are digesting food. Your body is sending neural signals. All of these things are happening RIGHT NOW!! And you are not thinking about it until now most likely. So it made me decide that I really don't want to go into the medical field. [I had originally planned to become a doctor. I thought the hospital was so cool]

I'm fascinated by small things. So when like I'm having a difficult day, I just think of all the cells in my body working really hard to keep me going right now. And I'm like: dude, come on, I can make it through this. You have cells that care about you. :D IT'S THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS. I'M NOT CRAZY. Okay, maybe a tiny bit.

I'm always seeking to find motivation. If you work this way, doors will open for you :) Don't ever just sit there and think something is not working so it won't work out. Find a way to keep yourself motivated. People always tell me wow, you are really persistent! It's because I always look for motivation.

I know you are thinking where does God fit into this? I will tell you that sometimes who you are fighting is not God. It is yourself.

It's just interesting how people view singleness differently from the way I see it.

To me, being single is FREEDOM.

To other people, it's like you are being detained until someone finds the key to open your jail cell.

Some girls were just talking about how math was so easy. And I was just like wow, people are different haha. They are in higher level math and it was EASY. I also met another girl who is majoring in Econ, math, and poli sci. You can't tell me girls are not good in math. Some of us just get really crappy teachers that don't care to explain things to us, when we are young. So that we struggle... But guys get taught math well and their activities deal with mathly things. Then, they get so good at it because of experience. I don't like doing math hw. It's boring to me. So guess what I did? I went to this room that has a board and did my hw problems on there. I like dry erase boards!!! See that is what the smart way of going about boring tasks entails. Add fun stuff! Things that will motivate you in other ways :) don't just sit there like ugh I hate this. Find something else that will make you want to do it. Use your creativity! :)

Don't ever let anyone think you are not good enough for Jesus. Because Jesus came for those of us who were not good enough so that we may be saved. The only people who are not good enough for Jesus are the persons who believe they are well off without Him. The Romans, you know, they made Jesus wear a crown of thorns as a way to mock Him. Let them mock you, but do not speak a harsh word back. Jesus knew His glory was from God, not from Himself, and not from man. You also should seek to glorify God. Keep your eyes on The Lord. Do not look left or right, and dare not to look back. Keep your sight on the things above. Don't let anything distract you from the Kingdom of Heaven. Don't listen to nonbelievers. Their knowledge is cheap and will not last. For the day of The Lord is coming.

By the way you don't need to read the Bible in order to be a follower of Christ. Once you receive the Holy Spirit, He will bring to remembrance all of the things Jesus said. I have personally experienced this many times. So you won't be less Christian for not being able to quote things. That is a thought worldly people have that has no back up. They are just challenging you. Trying to make you feel dumb. They want, because of pride, to make you feel like an inadequate servant of God. But now that's foolish. Jesus chose you and appointed you so that you would go and bear fruit :) not so that you would be highly regarded among men. Does this mean I'm never reading my Bible. Are you crazy? I love reading it. I could read it a million times, and I will still want to read it again. I feel very close to the apostles. And the closer I get to The Lord, the more the Bible reads like a letter from my brothers.

So I saw that picture of the person who used a Bible as a plate, and I'm so sad for them. I hope they repent. Or they will be shamed and over ridden with guilt when Christ returns. I have experienced a little how it feels to be in His Holy presence. It is a feeling that will put every prideful man to shame. He doesn't have to say anything. His light casts judgment on those who are not His people. Me and you, He will call our names and we will feel joy. They will experience guilt and sadness and failure. I understand why people are angry. Pride disgusts me. Now you all see why I'm always complaining about prideful people and the need for more humble people? But the poster will have to answer to this deed, when The Lord returns, if they continue down the path that leads to death. So forgive the person.

And it is so sad when people put themselves down in their posts. I'm going to stop doing it too. Because I obviously don't mean it. But some people do. Like when I say I stupidly did something, I'm judging my level of discernment, not myself. But others actually attribute negative things as unchangeable qualities of themselves. And I don't want to make it seem like it is okay to do that because it is not. You have been forgiven by God, so you have to learn to forgive yourself and not think of what you can't do. Think of what God CAN do :)

I just think there is something cheap about people who complain about their lives and everything, and they end it with but I hope everything is going well for everyone else.It's kind of like a person dying of cancer, wishing you the best of health. It's like of course I'm not going to accept it. I would rather you have my health and I be the one with cancer.But when a person who is joyful blesses you, it actually makes your day feel brighter. And you just walk off chipper. Positive social interactions feel really good.

So if you are not having the best of days. Seek help from people. The only way to make someone's day brighter when you are down is by allowing them to help you. Not by hoping that they don't get put in the same circumstances.

I just wanted to correct people on that. Because it is a common misconception that it actually makes your note any less sad by adding that part at the end. When it is a business letter, I understand. But in normal, laid back, day to day experiences,it is not good.

It is actually pretty rare to find someone who shows complete joy but is sad inside. You would have to have a personality disorder to play it off without someone noticing. The thing is some people pretend not to notice or people are too self-absorbed to notice or to try to help you. Under the normal distribution,people show signs of sadness. But maybe because I've been sad before for a span of 4 years, it's easier for me to see it in someone else.

Today's day of service was really nice. HALF OF MY GROUP DIDN'T SHOW UP! But whatever, the people who did were all really sweet, easy to get along with people. I'm sure this trip is going to be quite stellar.

We worked with this organization that provides a meal to homeless people under a bridge. It's like a really thoughtful idea! And such a kind gesture. It is headed by Christians. But they pray before the meal and that's it. It's outside. And they don't make the people go to church service or anything before they get to eat food. If a person asks more about Jesus, they tell them about Him :D

They allowed us to take a bunch of pastries home. In which all of us were reluctant to take it. We are Vandy students. The only mouths to feed we have to worry about is our own. And it was a huge load of pastries! Someone else took it in our group. I couldn't take it because I have done that before, and they all just rot in my room because it was too much. [3boxes of chicken dinners, and 4 chic fil a biscuits, yep, had to throw all of them away].

I just hope that the rest of the group is also filled with humble people like these people I volunteered with today. Because they didn't show up, I'm like: oh no....they might be a little bit crazy. It's just proven to be true, okay. Those who don't show up to service events tend to be slightly on the hard for Frances to get along with side.

Today has been AH-MAZING!!! Now time for dinner and homework. I hope you all also had a splendid, wonderful, joyful day filled with smiles and kindness :)

De-complicating my whole life.

I'm the kind of person who is afraid of people thinking badly of me or perceiving me the wrong way. So I over think through things and think of new ways I could reach the person so that they truly understand that what I meant was of good intentions.

Yep, done with that. That I learned in church is what is called vainglory. Always wanting to please others and to be seen as respectable among people. STRIKE THREE. YOU ARE OUT!

I don't have time for spiritual diseases. They dim the light that is supposed to shine through me.

It is just so weird being around people who used to know me and they think I’m still the same Frances. No, people, some people do something called grow,especially over breaks. Yes, that is what I did. I had a whole week by myself, and I decided to use that week in order to allow the Holy Spirit to transform me into the likeness of Jesus. I wasn’t just relaxing and watching tv shows like other people. I know I could do that during the school year. I didn’t like being mean, critical, a perfectionist. They made me frustrated from anger all the time. You know what, I no longer have these qualities. I traded them in for Jesus. I encourage you all to do the same: exchange all of your bad qualities for Jesus. And you will find that peace will enter your life :)

People enjoy being around me more now (those who don’t hold the same old view of me). I notice they smile more and tell me more things. It is sooooo awesome!!! I finally am able to put people at ease when I’m around them. This was like unheard of before. I also find myself continuously blessing people and complimenting them. I do not criticize people, in public. And if I use someone as an example here, I only use one specific action they hold so people may see how it is demonstrated in action. I no longer feel this need to bring anyone down. I’m just like Jesus’s flower girl! :) I always wanted to be one. And it is awesome! Leaving beautiful flowers everywhere through kind words or a smile or a deed. I prefer this version of me! I can’t wait to change even more!

So I had a case of blehs at church. It was not the service. The service was great. i just stupidly stayed up until 4am last night. And I did not plan on going to church because my ride was questionable. And I was like telling God I was lazy anyway so I hope it wouldn't work out. Sorry! Of course the Lord was like, get it together! I will give you until 10am to sleep. Then YOU are GOING TO CHURCH.

Anyway so right at the end before we kiss the cross and eat the bread, I read this sign that said "I chose you and appointed you so that you may go and bear fruit."Automatically, I was like aw Jesus, you always know what to say. I perked up immediately. Why is God so sweet? Like He doesn't even want me to feel bleh at church so He has reminders...Ah I feel so loved.

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