cassandra

[pupgenius]

opinions on me

[pupeagan]

princess 🥀

[pupeagan]

𝓢oft Like . . .

ᦏ♡᪔

synopsis: roman copes with hollis being not so gentle with him..

note: hi very small oneshot i’m sorry for being soooo slow xo also apologies if u see some writing mistakes in this im just trying my best <33

little!roman carer!hollis

Curled up on the clean white sheets in the hotel room bed, Roman tried to suppress multiple tears from rolling down his pale skin. He failed, they’re already forming red streaks against his skin. Roman had promised himself that, if this happened again, he would leave. He would try to become more independent and part ways with Hollis. The blonde was no good for him, yet he couldn’t separate himself from him.

——————————❤︎————————————

They have been friends since they were teenagers, and secret lovers for a couple of months. It was perfect, making music and touring with the man you love and look up to the most. It was supposed to be a great opportunity, right? Not when Hollis tended to become harsh behind closed doors. What started as a slight disagreement, always ended up with Hollis saying things towards Roman that he knew he didn’t mean. Tonight, after the show the boys wanted to go out and walk around for a bit. Roman shook his head and said he was going to go back to the hotel, considering he was kind of exhausted. They had been playing shows for three consecutive days and he wondered how the others even had energy to still go out this late.

Hollis furrowed his brows, he always wanted to keep an eye on Roman. It was almost predatory how he looked at Roman when he suggested he was gonna part his way from him for a couple of hours. The dark-haired boy put his hand up to signal a simple goodbye and he started to turn, the hotel was only a couple of blocks away.

“Have a girl waiting for you back there, is that why you’re in such a hurry?” He hears the rough voice say behind him, Hollis’ voice. Nate and Ryan let out a playful chuckle, like they were back in elementary school. Roman stops walking and turns, giving him a blank stare. He felt so humiliated and could feel his face heat up with anger.

“Seriously? I’m just tired.. don’t be an asshole Hollis” He says, breath is visible because he was quite cold tonight. Hollis raised an eyebrow, even the simple gesture made Roman’s stomach drop. The blonde walks nearer to Roman to give him a rough shove. Roman shoved him back, he didn’t want this to escalate into a fight but it seemed like it was going to.

“You’re in a mood, I hate that.” Hollis shoves him again and again. It made Roman feel so useless, as if he couldn’t fight back anymore. He didn’t wanna fight his lover, especially in front of their friends. “What’s wrong, not in the mood to argue anymore?” Hollis adds.

“Alright Hollis that’s enough, if Roman doesn’t want to go out tonight that’s fine” Nate grabs Hollis so he will stop putting his hands on the shorter boy. Hollis gave him a final glance before they both parted ways.

——————————❤︎————————————

So here Roman was, biting his lip. Trying to suppress more tears from coming. He isn’t supposed to be crying, it wasn’t supposed to be this serious. The exhaustion of arguments constantly being sparked by his lover. The number of times Hollis lashed out at him, he was sure some things were going on in his mind that he wasn’t aware of. But that still didn’t excuse how he has been treating him lately.

Roman sat up on the bed and checked his phone. He had already received multiple messages from Hollis, which was nothing new. He looked up at the ceiling before looking down at his phone again.

HOLLIS: I love you

HOLLIS: you know that right?

HOLLIS: fucking answer me.

HOLLIS: i’m sorry i lashed out.

What is he supposed to say? He knows how the night would end up anyway. The series of events is always the same. Hollis lets his anger take hold of him too much, he takes things too far and then begs for forgiveness by holding him so tight. His embrace is always a blessing, Roman would be an idiot for even thinking of leaving him.

He wonders why his own mind convinces him that leaving him is best sometimes. He's an asshole, but he takes care of him. He’s a huge reason why he’s had success when it comes to music. Sure, his heart was cold at times, but his hands were so much warmer.

He’s wrapping his arms around a pillow, and there’s a wet patch on it. The mind inside his skull started to feel foggy, which was something he disliked extremely. Roman sometimes had the tendency to slip into a headspace where it’s hard to think.

The internet was helpful when it came to self-diagnosing himself with what could have him acting this way. It was strange, nothing like anything he’s ever felt in his brain before. It happened every time he got extremely overwhelmed after an argument with Hollis. He shifts into a baby-like mindset that he can’t really get out of for a while.

It was embarrassing, to him at least. He was twenty-one and still liked being treated like a child at times. He had a conversation about it with Hollis only a couple of nights ago, his heart pounding as he confessed about his new recent discovery.

Hollis was confused, he almost seemed uneasy about it. He seemed uneasy about a lot of things though, but Roman still loved him nonetheless. Roman could tell he was trying to brush it off, quickly get past that conversation. The dark-haired boy was too embarrassed to continue so he let him shut it down.

Brown eyes squeezed shut, trying to force himself to go to bed before Hollis returned so he didn’t see him like this. He sniffles, dragging his hand across his eyes as he tosses and turns.

“Go to bed Roman, He doesn’t want to see you like this” Roman whispers words to himself in the darkness as he rubs small circles on himself with his thumbs.

Then he hears the familiar footsteps he has recognized. Roman doesn’t know if to panic or try to act like he’s already asleep. He hears the door open before he can decide, quietly and softly continuing to sob. He tries to maybe get words out of his throat, to tell him to leave him alone, but he can’t.

“Baby?” He says into the darkness before flicking a light on. It burns Roman’s eyes although they’re still squeezed shut.

Roman can hear him inch nearer to the bed, and the smell of cigarettes and cologne infiltrates his nose, which just makes him want to be in his arms more. He slowly opens his eyes, they’re red with tears and his cheeks are stained. Hollis’s expression drops and he quickly takes off his shoes to sit next to the smaller boy.

“Are you okay, is it what I said earlier?” He says in a panicky tone, he grabs Roman and puts his head against his chest. Roman gives him a soft nod.

“Are you gonna give me silent treatment now?” He makes a soft chuckle, making sure Roman knows he’s joking. He brushes his lanky hands through Romans dark curls.

“Hard to speak..” Roman muffled into his chest.

“I’m so sorry baby” Hollis’ tone softens as well as his touch “I’m always making you feel terrible, you’re such an angel for tolerating it”

Roman could tell Hollis was trying his best to be gentle. He shivers as he feels the hands on him softly massaging his scalp now, he lets out soft hums.

“What does my baby need from me? I’ll do anything to make it up to you.” Hollis kisses the top of his head.

Roman just hums again and moves a bit, he grabs for his hand and sticks two of his fingers into his mouth. It was comforting how he didn’t feel Hollis even slightly try to pull away. It all felt natural.The blonde kept whispering reassuring and sweet words while he let Roman suckle on his fingers.

To Roman, Hollis was everything he ever needed.

[springfieldkentucky]

pupeagan could write romeo and juliet but shakespeare wouldn’t dare to even attempt the beauty of romllis age regression

[pupeagan]

𝓢oft Like . . .

ᦏ♡᪔

synopsis: roman copes with hollis being not so gentle with him..

note: hi very small oneshot i’m sorry for being soooo slow xo also apologies if u see some writing mistakes in this im just trying my best <33

little!roman carer!hollis

Curled up on the clean white sheets in the hotel room bed, Roman tried to suppress multiple tears from rolling down his pale skin. He failed, they’re already forming red streaks against his skin. Roman had promised himself that, if this happened again, he would leave. He would try to become more independent and part ways with Hollis. The blonde was no good for him, yet he couldn’t separate himself from him.

——————————❤︎————————————

They have been friends since they were teenagers, and secret lovers for a couple of months. It was perfect, making music and touring with the man you love and look up to the most. It was supposed to be a great opportunity, right? Not when Hollis tended to become harsh behind closed doors. What started as a slight disagreement, always ended up with Hollis saying things towards Roman that he knew he didn’t mean. Tonight, after the show the boys wanted to go out and walk around for a bit. Roman shook his head and said he was going to go back to the hotel, considering he was kind of exhausted. They had been playing shows for three consecutive days and he wondered how the others even had energy to still go out this late.

Hollis furrowed his brows, he always wanted to keep an eye on Roman. It was almost predatory how he looked at Roman when he suggested he was gonna part his way from him for a couple of hours. The dark-haired boy put his hand up to signal a simple goodbye and he started to turn, the hotel was only a couple of blocks away.

“Have a girl waiting for you back there, is that why you’re in such a hurry?” He hears the rough voice say behind him, Hollis’ voice. Nate and Ryan let out a playful chuckle, like they were back in elementary school. Roman stops walking and turns, giving him a blank stare. He felt so humiliated and could feel his face heat up with anger.

“Seriously? I’m just tired.. don’t be an asshole Hollis” He says, breath is visible because he was quite cold tonight. Hollis raised an eyebrow, even the simple gesture made Roman’s stomach drop. The blonde walks nearer to Roman to give him a rough shove. Roman shoved him back, he didn’t want this to escalate into a fight but it seemed like it was going to.

“You’re in a mood, I hate that.” Hollis shoves him again and again. It made Roman feel so useless, as if he couldn’t fight back anymore. He didn’t wanna fight his lover, especially in front of their friends. “What’s wrong, not in the mood to argue anymore?” Hollis adds.

“Alright Hollis that’s enough, if Roman doesn’t want to go out tonight that’s fine” Nate grabs Hollis so he will stop putting his hands on the shorter boy. Hollis gave him a final glance before they both parted ways.

——————————❤︎————————————

So here Roman was, biting his lip. Trying to suppress more tears from coming. He isn’t supposed to be crying, it wasn’t supposed to be this serious. The exhaustion of arguments constantly being sparked by his lover. The number of times Hollis lashed out at him, he was sure some things were going on in his mind that he wasn’t aware of. But that still didn’t excuse how he has been treating him lately.

Roman sat up on the bed and checked his phone. He had already received multiple messages from Hollis, which was nothing new. He looked up at the ceiling before looking down at his phone again.

HOLLIS: I love you

HOLLIS: you know that right?

HOLLIS: fucking answer me.

HOLLIS: i’m sorry i lashed out.

What is he supposed to say? He knows how the night would end up anyway. The series of events is always the same. Hollis lets his anger take hold of him too much, he takes things too far and then begs for forgiveness by holding him so tight. His embrace is always a blessing, Roman would be an idiot for even thinking of leaving him.

He wonders why his own mind convinces him that leaving him is best sometimes. He's an asshole, but he takes care of him. He’s a huge reason why he’s had success when it comes to music. Sure, his heart was cold at times, but his hands were so much warmer.

He’s wrapping his arms around a pillow, and there’s a wet patch on it. The mind inside his skull started to feel foggy, which was something he disliked extremely. Roman sometimes had the tendency to slip into a headspace where it’s hard to think.

The internet was helpful when it came to self-diagnosing himself with what could have him acting this way. It was strange, nothing like anything he’s ever felt in his brain before. It happened every time he got extremely overwhelmed after an argument with Hollis. He shifts into a baby-like mindset that he can’t really get out of for a while.

It was embarrassing, to him at least. He was twenty-one and still liked being treated like a child at times. He had a conversation about it with Hollis only a couple of nights ago, his heart pounding as he confessed about his new recent discovery.

Hollis was confused, he almost seemed uneasy about it. He seemed uneasy about a lot of things though, but Roman still loved him nonetheless. Roman could tell he was trying to brush it off, quickly get past that conversation. The dark-haired boy was too embarrassed to continue so he let him shut it down.

Brown eyes squeezed shut, trying to force himself to go to bed before Hollis returned so he didn’t see him like this. He sniffles, dragging his hand across his eyes as he tosses and turns.

“Go to bed Roman, He doesn’t want to see you like this” Roman whispers words to himself in the darkness as he rubs small circles on himself with his thumbs.

Then he hears the familiar footsteps he has recognized. Roman doesn’t know if to panic or try to act like he’s already asleep. He hears the door open before he can decide, quietly and softly continuing to sob. He tries to maybe get words out of his throat, to tell him to leave him alone, but he can’t.

“Baby?” He says into the darkness before flicking a light on. It burns Roman’s eyes although they’re still squeezed shut.

Roman can hear him inch nearer to the bed, and the smell of cigarettes and cologne infiltrates his nose, which just makes him want to be in his arms more. He slowly opens his eyes, they’re red with tears and his cheeks are stained. Hollis’s expression drops and he quickly takes off his shoes to sit next to the smaller boy.

“Are you okay, is it what I said earlier?” He says in a panicky tone, he grabs Roman and puts his head against his chest. Roman gives him a soft nod.

“Are you gonna give me silent treatment now?” He makes a soft chuckle, making sure Roman knows he’s joking. He brushes his lanky hands through Romans dark curls.

“Hard to speak..” Roman muffled into his chest.

“I’m so sorry baby” Hollis’ tone softens as well as his touch “I’m always making you feel terrible, you’re such an angel for tolerating it”

Roman could tell Hollis was trying his best to be gentle. He shivers as he feels the hands on him softly massaging his scalp now, he lets out soft hums.

“What does my baby need from me? I’ll do anything to make it up to you.” Hollis kisses the top of his head.

Roman just hums again and moves a bit, he grabs for his hand and sticks two of his fingers into his mouth. It was comforting how he didn’t feel Hollis even slightly try to pull away. It all felt natural.The blonde kept whispering reassuring and sweet words while he let Roman suckle on his fingers.

To Roman, Hollis was everything he ever needed.

[pcsterboy-deactivated20260502]

" MAKE MY NOSE RUN "

rommulas x 2hollis

about - dom!roman , sub!hollis , romans a bit mean , crying , pwp , based of the tweet where it was like “i flirted with my bf and he got so hard he started crying”

w/c - 570

It had started innocently enough… They’d been lounging in the hotel after a show, Hollis’ head in Roman’s lap while they looked at their phones.

Roman had been running his fingers through Hollis’ hair, and Hollis was perfectly content just existing in Roman’s space.

Roman’s hand drifted down to trace the line of Hollis’ jaw, his thumb brushing over his lower lip. Hollis looked up at him, and the expression on Roman’s face made his breath catch.

“You’re so pretty, Holli,” Roman murmured, his long nails pressing against Hollis’ lips. “So good for me.”

Hollis opened his mouth automatically to let Roman’s fingers in, and the look in Roman's eyes had heat pooling in his stomach.

“You’re such a good boy.” Roman praised, and that was all it took.  

Hollis was already half hard, already desperate, and Roman could tell. Roman could see it in the way his pupils dilated, and his breathing changed.  

“Take it off.” Roman had said, pulling his fingers free. “Cmon”

࣪ ˖ 𖦹°⋆

That was how Hollis found himself here, only in his boxers while Roman remained fully clothed, touch-starved and frustrated after what felt like hours of teasing.

Hollis thought he might actually die and go to hell.

He knew he was feeling dramatic, but Roman had been at this for what felt like hours now. Touching him everywhere but where he wanted it, whispering in his ear, and then pulling away every time Hollis tried to chase after him.

“Roman,” He gasped, and Roman noticed how wrecked he already sounded. “Please—”

Hollis’ hands were fisted in the sheets beside his thighs because Roman had made it clear not to touch, and he was trying so hard not to make him mad. His cock was straining against his Hedi’s, very noticeable, and Roman kept glancing at it with a smirk. 

“I need–” Hollis started, but Roman reached and tangled his fingers in Hollis’ hair. 

“You need what?” Roman tugged, exposing his throat. “Come on, Holli, tell me,” 

The tears came suddenly. Hollis felt them prick at the corners of his eyes and tried to blink them away, but it was too much. He was so hard it hurt, and Roman looked at him like he wanted to eat him whole.

“Oh.” Roman smiled, his eyes falling darker. “Oh, baby, are you crying?” 

Hollis’ body shook as he sobbed, tear after tear spilling down his cheeks. Hollis was mortified, and so turned on that he could barely think. 

“Fuck,” Roman said, laughing. “Look at you, my big nonchalant boyfriend, crying because he's so hard. That's so cute, Holli.” He tugged on Hollis' hair again, smiling as he whimpers.

“Roman, please,” Hollis begged, and he didn’t care how embarrassing he sounded anymore. “Please, I’ll do anything—”

“Shh,” Roman released his hair and sat back, and Hollis whined from the loss of contact immediately. “Stay still.”

San watched, breathing hard, as Roman extended one leg and ran his nails against Hollis’ dick through his boxers. Hollis’ hips jerked up subconsciously, and Hollis let out a sob. More tears spilled over, and Roman could see how wet his face was getting, how wrecked he looked. 

“I said stay still,” Roman said, voice low, and Hollis froze. His whole body was trembling with the effort of not moving again. 

“So pretty when you cry,” Roman said softly. “My good boy, you can touch me now.”

Hollis didn't need to be told twice.

[pcsterboy-deactivated20260502]

" YOU'RE STILL THE ONE "

rommulas x 2hollis

about - short romllis fluff for my first fic on here

w/c - 486

When long, sturdy arms wrapped around him from behind and didn’t let go, Roman’s immediate instinct was to pull away. But as tired as he was, he couldn’t and he didn't want to. Not here, not in the quiet of Roman’s apartment. 

Sure, there were some days when he wanted his space, to just be alone and zone out until he was needed, especially during tour. But today, when he was tugged close against a lean and muscular chest, it only filled Roman with relief. The kind that had his eyes closing almost instantly out of relief. 

He and Hollis had been touring for months, and now that the two were on a break, they had been feeling out of sorts. 

“You okay?” Hollis asked, his voice lowered.

“Mhm.”

“Wanna talk?”

“Have you been having trouble sleeping, too? Since we got back from Europe.” Roman asked. 

“Not really, I’m used to this.” Hollis murmurs as they sit in silence. 

Hollis rests his chin on Roman's shoulder, wrapping his arms tighter around his waist. 

“You need to sleep,” Hollis says after a long pause.

Roman only nods mutely before taking a shuddering breath, burying his face in the crook of Hollis’ neck. 

“I know,”

“Lets get you to bed,” He whispers, Roman still pressed against his neck. “C’mon,” he adds when the other doesn't move. 

Finally, Roman lets go, hands falling to his sides. Hollis ushers him down the hallway, keeping one arm around his waist.

Hollis pushes the door open to Roman’s room, unwilling to let him go just yet. Roman lets Hollis help him into the bed, pulling the blankets snug. 

Hollis straightens up when Roman is settled, beginning to turn towards the door. Making plans in his head of which route to drive back home, when he feels a hand wrap around his wrist, keeping him in place. 

Hollis turns back to the bed, seeing Roman look up at him with tired eyes.

“Please,” Roman says, and that's all he has to say.

Hollis slides under the covers, pulling Roman into his arms. He's struck by how small the other seems, how exhausted he looks. Roman makes himself even smaller in his arms, pressing his face against Hollis’ chest.

“It’s going to be okay. Just sleep,” Hollis says, his hand coming to rest on the back of his neck, tangling his fingers in Roman's curly hair.

Roman's eyes flutter shut slowly, his muscles relaxing fully. Hollis starts to feel relaxed, stroking up and down Roman's back. Hollis smiles, even though Roman can’t see him. Pulling away to press a kiss onto Roman's forehead.

“Thank you,” Roman whispers, looking into his eyes, his voice already heavy with sleep. He is so thankful for Hollis in ways that words can’t describe. Deep down, he has so much love for him. 

“Always,”

Roman falls asleep gradually, not awake to feel Hollis press another kiss to his forehead. 

[2baby]

DESTROY ME

whipped!hollis x brat!roman headcanons

“if you want a lover, i'll do anything you ask me to. or if you want to strike me down in anger, here i stand – i'm your man.”

implied!sexual content

︵‿ 𝜗℘ ‿︵

་ i'm your man ᵇʸ leonard cohen 𓈒

(hollis is exactly where he wants 2 be)

whipped!hollis who was working on a new project in the studio and missed romans call, and quickly tried to call him back to explain that it was an accident, just to realise his number was blocked. he stared at his phone with hearts in his eyes and a smile on his face

whipped!hollis who buys roman a bouquet of his favourite flowers after an argument to try and make it up to him just for roman to throw them in the trash while maintaining eye contact. “you're so cute when you're mad, honey. i'm gonna go and buy you more flowers"

whipped!hollis who constantly goes above and beyond for roman and tries to find new ways to prove his love everyday. “i love you so much. you know i do, right? do i tell you enough? maybe i should start telling you that i love you more often” (hollis tells roman that he loves him atleast 100x a day.. roman still ended up agreeing)

whipped!hollis who forces roman to go on tour with him because “i want the world to adore you and recognise your talent as much as i do” and ends up crying like an idiot backstage when he hears the crowd screaming romans name. when the staff ask if he's okay he just says "i'm so proud of him. god, i love that man"

whipped!hollis who secretly buys roman whatever he wants, no matter the price, and kisses him to shut him up when he tries to argue that he didn't need it. “i don't care if you don't need it, you liked it, so now you have it. it's as simple as that, baby"

whipped!hollis who got locked out of their shared apartment because roman saw a clip of him being ‘too friendly’ with a fan at an after party (hollis was telling her to check out romans music) “come on, baby. let me in. i'll make it up to you - i promise. i'll do whatever you want, just talk to me. yell at me if you want to, just let me hear your voice. i miss you"

brat!roman who ghosts hollis for an entire week because he drunkenly liked a thirst trap hollis posted years ago. “i don't want to talk to you, go away. this is your fault anyways! why did you even post that on social media for everyone to see? i'm mad at you. have some shame"

brat!roman who never communicates how he feels with hollis and expects him to figure it out. “if you love me as much as you say you do, you'd be able to figure out if i’m mad at you or not” (a bit hard to do because romans always pissed about something)

brat!roman who once stomped his foot and whined like a child because hollis 'wasn't paying attention' while he was trying to show him that the shoes he wanted to buy were sold out despite hollis looking up what stores had them in stock right infront of his face

brat!roman who forces hollis to make him a beat for his upcoming song, just to pretend that he doesn't want to use it even though he made hollis spend weeks on perfecting it. “you can make a better one can't you? i know you can” he secretly used it anyway, he just wanted to be annoying

brat!roman who once got so annoyed at hollis and slapped him, then quickly grabbed his face and started rubbing hollis' cheek when he realised what he did. “oh my god. i'm sorry - i wasn't thinking. are you okay?” hollis just stared up at him with tears in his eyes and leaned into the touch. "fuck, i loved that. do it again. please, that felt so good. holy shit"

brat!roman who crops hollis out of a photo he posted on his story, just to realise hollis posted the original version on his own. “take it down. no, you're ruining my reputation. now they're gonna know that you're the reason i was smiling - hollis, stop laughing this isn't funny!”

[pupeagan]

ℒamb Of God

˚₊۶ৎ˙⋆

synopsis: roman is in love with hollis and thinks he’s his savior

romllis fic rommulas x 2hollis

word count: 1.6k

ao3

hi this is my first boyliife rpf related fic i’ve publicly published plz don’t be mean

The tour bus reeked of a bitter weed scent. It was uncomfortably silent, and Hollis was lying in his bunker, looking through his tagged Instagram stories. He had just finished playing a show and needed complete silence. He glanced up every once in a while when he heard Roman get up or make a loud breath.

They weren’t on good terms recently and there was very obvious tension between the two. The other boys have noticed it as well but aren’t up for any sort of emotional conversation bullshit. As far as they're aware it’s over something that happened backstage before the show because they heard some yelling from both parties.

There was way more to that than just yelling.

——————————❤︎——————————

The tour was inching nearer to the end. It was a bittersweet feeling for all the boys. They were all very exhausted, especially Hollis. They also knew they would be yearning to be on the road again soon after ending the tour.

Roman and Hollis have always been best friends, everyone knew that. The dark-haired boy always looked up to the blonde and it was a dream come true when they first started hanging out. Being able to open for him is a blessing he thanks his God for.

“Dale gracias a Dios por esta experiencia, hijo.” His mother always says to him.

He plays the role of a god-fearing man for his mother pretty well. Roman is a god-fearing man. He fears what would happen to him after his life comes to an end. He’s very aware that the lifestyle he’s been living isn’t the best. He fears what God, no, everyone would think about his deepest secret.

He even fears himself and how he reacted when he let the feeling sink in. The night the realization hit his stomach, it felt like the worst ache he’s experienced.

Roman doesn’t even know when his feelings for Hollis became more than friendly. Every night of the tour, he became even more thrilled to be around Hollis. Hearing him breathe on the bunk above him, or next to him in a hotel room when they were still relatively underground and had to share. Every time Hollis would pull him in for a hug and tell him how great his set was. It felt like the closest he'd ever get to heaven.

His pale hands dragged across his face, trying to silently beg for the sinful thoughts to possibly escape from his mind.

In some aspects, Hollis was his savior. He knows he would be nothing without him. Words could never even begin to express how thankful he is for Hollis.

There is one specific night he recalls, about a month ago. He was in the tour bus chugging a bottle of Gatorade while Hollis was wiping the sweat off his bangs. There was sweat everywhere, it was so disgusting. Yet, Roman couldn’t help but feel the way his face heated up at the sight of it. He had to excuse himself to get some fresh air.

He takes a deep breath, trying not to make himself cry. It would be so humiliating to him if someone saw him cry. It was quite awkward to see each other vulnerable; he wouldn’t even be able to begin to think of an excuse for why he was weeping. The stars in the sky blurred as his eyes were blinded with tears.

——————————❤︎——————————

Hollis can tell the change in Roman’s behavior. At first, he tried to ignore it, or tell himself that he was just overthinking it but it started being all too much. He could tell the way the dark-haired boy's demeanor almost immediately changes when they’re alone. He became softer, less friendly. Even if he didn’t do anything romantic, Hollis could tell something was going on in his mind.

At first, he didn’t know what to think. Roman is his best friend in the whole world, it was quite uncomfortable to have the suspicion that he had grown to like him to the extent of wanting to be more than friends.

He was watching his set backstage, he was proud of Roman. It seemed like every show he was gaining more confidence and better stage presence. He watches him tuck his hair behind his ear and yell into the microphone again. Hollis felt a weird, nervous feeling while watching him.

Hollis isn’t gay. It’s not like he doesn’t support homosexuality, it’s just something that he personally doesn’t identify with. Why did he feel something so raw and new when he watched his best friend perform? He’s watched him perform so many times before. Why was it different now?

Gay isn’t a dirty word but he doesn’t want to entertain the idea that he could be gay. Especially not for Roman. He wouldn’t dare to ruin their friendship, he doesn’t even want to think about what that would cause.

When Roman came to the back of the stage he instantly slouched onto a chair, trying to catch his breath. He looked exhausted, everyone was at this point of the tour.

“You did amazing, dude!” Hollis says, he smiles and pats Roman’s shoulder. He can feel the way Roman’s body tenses up, he wishes he could stop. This was so weird, so dirty, so wrong. He wants to shake Roman and tell him to stop reacting this way over every little thing Hollis does.

“Thanks, good luck playing tonight it’s fucking hot out there” Roman replies with a dishevelled chuckle, his hair was frizzy and sticking to his head and neck as he got up to grab a water bottle.

He was beautiful, Hollis had always known that. Looking at him felt different now, he was looking at his beauty differently. When he was looking at him he felt the same thing he feels when he catches a pretty girl in the crowd or goes on a date with a girl who likes getting dolled up. Roman wasn't a girl though, that's what made this fucked.

The lines between platonic and romantic feelings were smudging. Hollis bit his lip before speaking up once more.

“I’m really going to miss this tour, you know” He looks into Roman’s deep brown eyes, feeling the pit of his stomach get anxious again. He’s trying his best to suppress the uncomfortable anxiety as he looks at Roman's facial expression slightly changed. He nods in agreement, an awkward gesture. Hollis wanted to yell, wanted to break the tension between them. He wanted to know so badly what was going on in Roman’s mind.

The dark-haired boy looked down at his phone again, everything in that room felt off. Hollis could almost hear both of their heartbeats. The way he could feel every time Roman glanced up from his phone to look at his frame, his breath still heavy from performing. The room was spinning, he really tried to fight the urge to do anything sudden or drastic. He really did fight.

Until it became all too much and he gave in to the thoughts. He walks up to Roman, who was scrolling on his phone. He grabs his chin to softly force his face to look up at his. God, the soft and shocked look smothered all over his best friend's face sent a thrill all over his body.

“What are you doing?” He speaks up

“I don’t know” The blonde blurts out with a panicky tone under his hot breath.

“Hollis?” Roman raises one of his brows and before both of them could process it Hollis had already leaned down, towering over him to capture a hot and fast kiss from the boy's lips.

——————————❤︎——————————

This was everything Roman had ever dreamed of. His lips were even softer than he ever fantasized. The slight feeling of his fingers on his chin added a deeper level of desire he didn’t even know how to control. He got up and deepened the kiss, quickly pulling away when he thought he had heard something from a distance. Hollis was quick to pull him back into the moment. Pale hands make their way to tangle themselves in blonde curls. Hollis grabbed the shorter boy's hips, almost like they had done this before and they belonged there. Roman desperately tugged at his clothing, not quite sure what to do with his hands anymore. This was way better than any kiss he has had with any girlfriend or groupie. This felt real, this felt sacred.

It was over before he even knew it, with one quick motion Hollis pulled away. Their lips are both plump and wet. Both of their eyes were filled with tears, and Hollis shook his head like he was in disbelief.

“Sorry, I don’t know.. Why I did that” He shakes.

Roman doesn’t know what to say, he could already read the next words Hollis would say just by the face he formed.

“I’m not like that. I’m sorry-” Hollis starts desperately apologizing in denial before getting cut off by Roman.

“I don’t want to hear that” Roman interrupts

“What?” Hollis can tell that Roman is going to start crying any second now. He was filled with instant regret, he should’ve never gotten near him to begin with.

“You’re fucking ridiculous Hol, just forget this happened, okay?” Roman’s tone is defensive.

Then the yelling match began, and they spewed out nonsense to each other. Hollis was harsher with his words than Roman. It hurt him a lot, he couldn’t believe how fast this escalated. One moment they were full on making out and now they’re yelling at each other. They knew it was because they’re both unbelievably in love with each other, but they will never be able to pursue that.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

Never.

Not when Roman lives with the weight of catholic guilt on his back and Hollis stubbornly believes he was born to only love someone who is of the opposite gender.

[johnjohnkabob]

Wtf is Roman doing in this comment section bro 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[pcsterboy-deactivated20260502]

opinions on me

I hate you

[pupeagan]

opinions on me?

not a huge fan

[springfieldkentucky]

who else likes boybutt

[pupeagan]

my lambs !!

[springfieldkentucky]

you like girls

i love girls