Stronger
Not long ago I received a gift from the man I love that says “you are braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. Smarter than you think”. With his strength behind me, I began to feel it.
Not long after, the man I love left. No real explaination. No notice. No nothing… Mostly silence.
I don’t feel brave. I don’t feel strong. I don’t feel smart.
If I was smarter, I would’ve seen it coming. I would’ve seen him pulling away. Maybe I wouldn’t have been completely vulnerable and open to him.
If I was stronger, I’d be able to hold myself together, and not feel like my stomach is in knots and my heart literally aching.
If I was braver, I’d be able to move on. Maybe want to see if there is a lesson in all this.
I feel anger. I was completely vulnerable. I shared intimate thoughts, moments and even secrets that I have never shared with anyone.
I feel sadness. I love him and his quirks. I miss him.
I feel lonliness. He was my best friend. I told him everything. Big and little.
I feel empty. I depended on him. He wanted me to depend on him. He said he needed that. And now I don’t have that.
He believed I was intrinsically submissive. I believe that is true too. I couldn’t get “there” 100% because in the back of my mind I thought about being 100% submissive to him and losing that. I was close though… Feeling this lost and lonely and empty, maybe 100% wasn’t something for me to give.
All I know right now is my world has collapsed around me. I’m not strong…
Dominants… If you take it all from your submissive, make sure they can be strong without you if you take it all away.
















