Last Name Crystal

Harlot

[squirrelgreaul]

DNI

Witches

Anyone who cries 

People who don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom

Any bald man without a beard. (honestly just leave me alone if you’re bald) 

Lesbian sympathizers (but lesbians are welcome)

Anyone who enjoys almond milk

Preps

Mormons 

Dentist

Anybody with a dog named princess

Anybody good at math

Snape wives

[swallowthekn1fe]

"They tried to kill eachother!!" oh my godddd that was only a couple of timessss and they were literally flirtingggg shut uppppp

[squirrelgreaul]

Who needs Squidward’s nose when you can have Voldemort’s tongue?

[the-muppet-joker]

EMOS AND GOTHS ARE THE SAME!!!!!!!! YOU BOTH WORSHIP THE DEVIL. I ENGAGE WITH NEITHER. I AM OF THE LORD!!!!!!!!

[squirrelgreaul]

Be quiet I don't have to do what you say be quiet, you scammer, scammer man.

And then he clapped as I hung up the phone. 

[squirrelgreaul]

I found myself at work today with my lesbian lover E-bonysclook I love working with them, but for today he chose violence. She decided that because the first day that I met them, I pranked them so they’re allowed to be a little Butthead now.

Unfortunately, this other girl was there will call her Glen Island. She was trying to butt into our conversation, even though she’s not in our polyamorous cult. Also important to the story I decide if she has a job or not. 

Let’s just say I’ll be punishing them when we get home in our dungeon for fun activities.

And they clapped as I walked away.

[squirrelgreaul]

I found myself at the voting place yesterday after waiting behind a bald man in line for an hour. I gave them my ID and they gave me two stickers in return for selling my soul to the government. I found it a lovely experience that I would most definitely repeat.

After sending my ballot thew the computer thingy I was told I could ring the bell. Not sure why they think I want to ring the bell but they were totally right.

Anyways I rang the bell.

Then everyone clapped.