MAYBE it's his age , the passing of years. mia doesn't have to complete him --- doesn't have to fulfill some ideal. no , he's lived enough , broken his fair share of hearts and knows that TIME ISN'T on his side. he'll take short spurts of happiness , it's usually what ends a relationship on HIS side.
others taking his casual manner as him incapable of achieving any DEPTH. he has that in spades just not the sort of depth anyone is INTERESTED in these days. he doesn't have social media , isn't sure about kids , and as he's hitting 52 he's positive that his best years are ahead of him.
there is of course the PTSD , the LOSS that fills his heart. the knowledge that sometimes he lets his own SELF CARE fall to the wayside. perhaps he views himself as an extension of the ER , he's good at SAVING people just not himself. there is of course , a man behind the pain but --- it just takes longer. even with mia he's beyond patient , doesn't feel the need to tie her down nor IS HE IN A POSITION TO DO SO. it doesn't take away from the way he feels.
' it's a good thing i don't have any expectations ... my expectations are moment to moment , it's all i can manage ' robby looks into her eyes , his head lowering ever so , ' you don't need to be anything with me but present ' he sharply inhales , ' we both leave each other for weeks mia ... because it's who we are '
he then clears throat , ' i'm not perfect ... i'm 51 and aware of my faults ' he slowly smiles , CROWS FEET making an appearance , ' i avoid , i run ' he looks down at his SECOND beer , ' i worry about everyone else BUT me '
' i want you to know that i'm here ... i've seen your injuries --- i don't need to know what you do but , it would be nice if we could both let each other know that we're safe. WHATEVER that means to us. '