Something I want to get off my chest. As I have a dietician appointment tomorrow.
I ‘finished’ school in 2015.. so 10 years ago. And I still have the same wants and habits as I did back then. At 14/15. I was always an active child/teen I was skinny but lean, I went to sports clubs in school, dance classes, MMA classes, karate the lot.. I always wanted to look muscly and toned since an early age as that’s how my mum looked. Never stick and bone. I remember in most of my secondary school years, all the fatter girls would laugh and take the piss out of me for having abbs and toned arms and I hated it so bad. It made me feel incredibly insecure.
Then in year 10, after we all came back from the summer break, there were a good handful of girls that I was friends with that came back thin and hell. Super thin, and they were chubby before summer.. my size even. I used to be the small one. But it switched, in the matter of 6 weeks. And I’ll never forget the shock I felt when I saw them again. I thought how on earth have they done that? How? 6 weeks of summer and they lost THAT much weight? How? I need to know? I was so desperate that I completely changed my friendship circle to only hang out with these girls all day everyday during the next 2 years and it wasn’t long before I understood how they did it.. break times we stayed in class to do homework.. lunch times we stayed in class to do homework.. everyday.
That was over 10 years ago, and I still think about it to this day and I WISH someone had told me about it before we broke up for summer so I could have came back super small to!! Over 10 years the ‘habits’ they taught me still linger in my mind and occasionally come back out to play for months at a time.
My ‘habits’ have been back since September 2024.. and I feel incredibly miserably everyday after I eat. I miss when I recovered and could just eat and not give it any second thought. But that’s how I gained almost 4 stone. I can’t do that. Not again. I’ve lost almost all that weight now, 12 more pounds to go and I’ll be back at the weight I was bedore I recovered 4 years ago.
This isn’t really for anyone other than myself.. just to vent and really let go of this secret I’ve been holding onto for years. This is where my mind has been for the last 9 months and I feel trapped but exhilarated at the same time with how fast the weight is dropping. I love it but I hate it.
Please don’t report this. Just block.
#⭐️ing motivation #⭐️rving #@na shit #skinandbones #@na blog #@n@ tips #@n@ @ngel #@n@ buddy #tw ed ana #tw ana rant #anadiet #ana angel#ana ymia #3d not sheeran #34t1ng d1sOrd3r #3ating disorder #3d blog #tw 3d vent #tw wl #tw skipping meals
dailybridgerton
izzy806
blakekathryn
andulkaphoto
origamiaround
