zerotonin

I'm not here to impress anybody. This is my outlet when my world is falling apart, among other things. | 🏳️‍🌈

[sssupercalifragile]

I consulted with a psychiatrist ulit kahapon, after 3 years. 3 years ako nagmemeds unsupervised. I know mali kaya pinush ko na makapagpa-consult ulit. Yung dati kong psych sa NCMH ayaw ako bigyan ng diagnosis dahil daw sa stigma, baka daw maging issue sa work. Sabi naman ng psych ko kahapon sa PGH, optional naman daw kung ididisclose ko sa work. So ayun, after mahabang assessment, parang leaning towards daw ako sa bipolar II disorder, pero the official diagnosis is after 2 to 3 follow-up consultations pa daw. I guess it feels nice(?) to finally have a name for something that's wrong with me. Now doing my research on bipolar II, marami akong moments na "ahh kaya pala". Now, I will know better how to navigate life with this mental illness and hopefully relationships as well. This is a huge step in trying to better myself. Psychotherapy next!

[sssupercalifragile]

Tag-ulan musings

Minsan nakakamiss ma-in love. Namimiss ko yung all-consuming feeling of yearning for someone kahit na may possibility masaktan din. Pero do I really need that right now? Not really. I can't date right now due to personal reasons, so it would be a bad time to fall in love. Pero okay lang siguro mamiss? Kaya siguro fixated na naman ako sa totga ko. I think namimiss ko lang talaga yung feeling ng in love. Ayun lang.

[sssupercalifragile]

Forever mo na yata akong mumultuhin. It will always haunt me how I FUMBLED HARD when I lost you. Ewan ko. Siguro my heart will always yearn for you until mameet ko na yung magpapakalimot sakin sayo.

[sssupercalifragile]

100%

[sssupercalifragile]

Minumulto na 'ko ng situationship ko LOL. Second time na nagmessage sya since we ended things. Okay naman, catch up konti. Pero yan sabi nya. Hindi pa rin pala sya moved on sakin. I think moved on na ako sa kanya..? I was so sure until nag usap kami ulit ngayon. Haha multo nga kasi. Hays. Parang sarap nung 'usap lang'? Hahahah eme lang. Nagjojoke lang ako sa kanya. Unless..? 🤭 ewan hahahah

[sssupercalifragile]

Of course nagrelapse kami parehas and it didn't end well. 🤣

[sssupercalifragile]

Minumulto na 'ko ng situationship ko LOL. Second time na nagmessage sya since we ended things. Okay naman, catch up konti. Pero yan sabi nya. Hindi pa rin pala sya moved on sakin. I think moved on na ako sa kanya..? I was so sure until nag usap kami ulit ngayon. Haha multo nga kasi. Hays. Parang sarap nung 'usap lang'? Hahahah eme lang. Nagjojoke lang ako sa kanya. Unless..? 🤭 ewan hahahah

[sssupercalifragile]

Olivia Hussey has passed away, and I am deeply saddened. She was a huge part of my gay awakening when I first watched her version of Romeo and Juliet. I instantly fell in love with her at the age of 12 when I wasn't even sure that I liked girls. Her beauty had me so smitten. Like she was so freaking pretty!!! I remember religiously going on her website just to get updates on her life even if I knew she was an old lady then. Okay, not that old, but like in her 50s. I thought I was the only one obsessing over her, but seeing the outpouring of love for her on twitter and tiktok, I realized being in love with her was more common than I thought lol.

Oh Olivia, your beautiful soul will always have a special place in my heart. Rest in power. ❤️

[trans-ralsei]

[trans-ralsei]

[caughtthedarkness93]

I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.

[sssupercalifragile]

I thought I hit rock bottom in 2023. I hit even lower in 2024. My life is a big fucking joke.

[sssupercalifragile]

I will never get it right 'no? Sabi nga ng recent situationship ko, feel nya tatanda akong dalaga. Haha masakit kasi parang totoo lol. I wanna give up on finding love. Focus na lang ako sa sarili ko.

[sssupercalifragile]

Get you a girl na patay na patay sayo, who would kiss the path that you walked on, yung naglulupasay at di makahinga pag miss na miss ka na hahahah. Reminding myself na I shouldn't settle for anything less. Everyday nya sinasabi na ang ganda ko, na miss nya na ako, na she worships my body. Oh to be loved like this.

[sssupercalifragile]

So.. this 2-month situationship has tragically ended. 🤣 won't go into details, katamad hahaha. Ano siguro, next time di ko na lang ikkwento dito para hindi ma-jinx haha

[sssupercalifragile]

Get you a girl na patay na patay sayo, who would kiss the path that you walked on, yung naglulupasay at di makahinga pag miss na miss ka na hahahah. Reminding myself na I shouldn't settle for anything less. Everyday nya sinasabi na ang ganda ko, na miss nya na ako, na she worships my body. Oh to be loved like this.

[sssupercalifragile]

Eto na naman sya. May ka-talking stage na naman. Di na nadala hahaha. Also, baka libog lang idk. Pero I wanna meet her na. Ito ang debut nya sa tumblr blog ko HAHAHA

[sssupercalifragile]

Update lang. Nagkita na kami last week. We did the deed and confirmed. Hindi libog lang. Mukhang delikado na naman akooo HAHAHA. Wala na, hinahanap hanap ko na sya.

[sssupercalifragile]

Eto na naman sya. May ka-talking stage na naman. Di na nadala hahaha. Also, baka libog lang idk. Pero I wanna meet her na. Ito ang debut nya sa tumblr blog ko HAHAHA

[loveridden1999]

happy lesbian visibility week

[sssupercalifragile]

Back reading my posts from years ago, grabe ang cringe ko hahaha but I also miss my old self. Icb I hated myself then.

[sssupercalifragile]

I’m turning 25 this year????? HELP POTA someone stop the clock lol yaw q na po maging adult. I didn’t sign up for this huhu

[sssupercalifragile]

I turn 30 this year, and I still don't know wtf I'm doing with my life 🤣