ed blog:|

16 UGW: 40

[volcanicpoetry]

han hyland

[sstarving]

At the beginning of my ed I lost like 9kg in 2.5 months by eating around 300-600cals a day (i mostly ate dinner and sometimes fruit) so now I'm gone do it again since i regained some of the weight lmao

[sstarving]

I've been feeling a bit down for the past few days, and I know it's bc I'm my eating:///

I know it's not healthy but I just need to restrict to feel happy

[sstarving]

hey if ur an ed acc please reblog so I can follow u!!!!! My dash is rly dead rn lmao

[disapressed]

reblog if you’re an active ed account in june 2020!

i just need more people to follow 😽

[disapressed]

[volcanicpoetry]

Splitting

I love my best friend. She is the first person I want to talk to in the morning & the last I want to talk to at night. When I tell her I’m struggling she tells me she loves me. When I tell her I’m happy she’s happy for me. She tells me her secrets & I guard them in my chest for safe keeping. She does the same. I love my best friend.

I hate my best friend. On Instagram I see her with her boyfriend, her other close friends, she won’t text me back. she won’t text me back. SHE WON’T TEXT ME BACK. I hate my best friend.

My best friend is the most beautiful person in the world. Her long black hair glistens in the sun, curls untamable. when she smiles I feel light, I feel full, I feel everything. I love her, I want to be near her, I even a little bit want to BE her.

My best friend is a bitch. She hates me she hates me she hates me. I see her with other people & she doesn’t want to be with me. She doesn’t say I’m her best friend on the internet. She hates me she hates me she fucking hates me.

My best friend texts me & I don’t respond because I’m busy. She still loves me & she understands. It’s not a big deal. We’re mature enough to handle something so trivial.

I text my best friend & she doesn’t respond because she’s busy. I don’t understand. I know I still love her but my body boils with an anger so deep I think it might end me. End her. End us.

The lines between love & hate are not blurred with the people I love; the lines are straight, black & bold. I love you or I hate you & there is no in-between. I want to see a blurry line for once in my life. Everything is so black & white. I try to learn how to balance things out, hold good, bad & okay all in one hand but it’s all so fucking heavy. Alone each one feels almost empty but together they’re so strong, they knock me to my knees. Can’t regulate my emotions when I feel them so intensely.

I love my best friend even when I hate her. Even when I feel she is going to leave & even when I feel she is there for me. Holding onto the love in moments of pure rage is the hardest thing in the world when that world, this black & white, front & end, bold black lined world, is so sure & so certain & so final.

I’m lucky my best friend loves me enough to see past this. I’m lucky that she still loves me when all I can see in her eyes is a blinding, red-hot betrayal for something so god damn trivial.

— han hyland

[volcanicpoetry]

“it’s like a constant fight between what’s right & what feels like it’s right when it’s really wrong in all the ways anything has ever been wrong, you know? there’s a difference between something that feels good & something that is actually good & that is what this is; I know which pieces of this disease should be terminated & which ones are safe to keep. (none of them are safe to keep, that is the nature of having an eating disorder: it all feels good & at the same time, it’s all slowly killing me.) it’s like everyone is staring at me, thinking about how much I must crave being skinny. how much I must ache as I look in the mirror each morning & night, desperately searching my body for ways in which I can shrink into that smaller size top or those jeans which fit so snug that I can’t breathe but that is not what this is. it’s not about the way my body looks but the functions my body provides me; my eating disorder has always been a slow, incredibly precise suicide. that is all this is— a death sentence. that’s all any of this is, the starving, binging, purging, cutting; it’s always been no more than a deliberate suicide. a polite suicide, one that says, “oops, I didn’t mean to kill myself but this disorder sunk its teeth too deep into my skin & that is why I’m buried here.” as opposed to the ones that say, “I did this because I wanted to die.” there is no polite way to leave this earth on purpose but at least when you do it through an eating disorder, you get to pretend like it was a mistake & you get to pretend like you felt your life was meaningful. it’s like knowing you have things to live for but knowing that they don’t matter as much as this desire to empty the contents of your soul out onto a silver platter so you can hand it to the people who have hurt you as evidence. as a, LOOK! look at how you’ve hurt me, there is nothing left to my personality, my being, my soul is here on this plate because you always wanted my self to belong to only you so here I am! here is what is left of the person I used to be but it’s like I never was anyone to begin with & maybe this has always been a way to name myself an identity; my being along with an eating disorder has always been better than my being sitting alone at home, rotting away with no future plans, no actions that show that I have the capability to be anyone other than a hermit crab crying alone in a room filled with dirty towels & empty bowls. the thing is that it’s not always the same. it’s not always the same one reason for why I am doing this. I don’t know how to give these monsters just one singular name when they come in different shapes every time I am struggling. it’s like I can’t breathe anymore—the way my mind is; my brain no longer sends messages to my body to remind it to breathe, to live, to pump blood through me. I can’t even really write poetry anymore. this poem has taken me ages to write. I can’t sit down & keep my focus long enough to paint one of my nails let alone think a thought thorough enough to create something worthwhile with my words. it’s just pain. plain & simple. I am in pain & it’s showing when I can’t stop filling myself up & immediately emptying & when I cut deep wounds into flesh once ripe & soft & it’s showing when my tears fall faster than bullet flies from its barrel in a gun & I can’t stop. I can’t stop. I don’t know how to make it stop.”

— ANOTHER STUPID POEM by han hyland

[poetsbloom]

"I want to be so much more than what I already am and not being enough is killing me."

[sstarving]

I am just a mess

My friend want to kill himself, he told me he already ordered pills and I don't know what to do

He says he is fine and I don't have to worry but I saw on his Twitter (he doesn't know I have it) that he will kill himself when he gets the chance

I don't know what to do bc he told me that if I tell his parents he will never talk to me again but on the other hand I can't just stop back and watch

I know his mom and I know she might not react well after finding out what her son plans to do but I know I'll just have to educate her on it

I really don't want to lose that friend but I feel like I'm at a loss, no matter what I'll do it won't be good for neither of us

I don't know what to do

[yourlocalgreenwitch]

Quick weight loss spell

Disclaimer: be healthy and be safe!!! If you are noticing loss of appetite and/or feeling unsafe please stop the spell immediately!

Grab some grapefruit oil and put on the bottom of your feet during the day for energy and chant.

Let the sun assist me

With loss of weight

With all the steps I’ll make

It is my will to see

So mote it’ll be!

Optional: you can do this under a waning moon if you work out at night or when casting, wash your feet with waning water to strengthen the spell!

[literatewitch]

Weight loss spell

You will need:

- a piece of paper and a pen

- rice grains

- a bay leaf

- a red candle

What to do:

Cast a magic circle if you like. Light the candle and focus on your goal. Then draw a circle on the piece of paper and in it write words that represent your goal ( e.g. weight loss, vitality, health, endurance, motivation, …) . Use one grain of rice for each word you write. Put the rice and the laurel inside the drawn circle and fold the paper so you have a small paper bag and the rice and laurel don’t fall out. Then burn the package with the candle. Speak:

“Sacred fire, I pray to thee, make these wishes come to me”

Repeat until the paper has burned completely. Blow out the candle.

[fuckyeahitchywitch]

I really am in need of help in the weight loss department. My endocrinologist reccomends that i lose 15 lbs, and I would love to know of any things, rituals, spells, prayers, etc to the goddess for help.

Well , nothing I give you can take the place of proper diet and exercise , “if you are like me exercise is the key since eating right just isn’t going to happen. ;)”That being said , here you go, complete the potion just once before you start the meditations , repeat the meditations every few days for the first couple weeks , weekly after that .

You’ll Need :

a dash cinnamon1 cup (crystal)a dash salt (any type)1 teaspoon vinegar½ cup water

Mix all the ingredients together in a crystal glass. Start with the water, then trickle in the vinegar, while doing so say the following:

Add to this glass from which I’ll drinkThe vile taste one would surely think.

The throw in a pinch of salt saying:

And a bit of salt to kill the tasteOf my life I shall not waste

Then toss in a bit of cinnamon saying:

And finally a touch of spiceTo make my body slim and nice

Then swirl the entire mixture around with the cup in both hands. Hold it above your head and say:

With this potion that I drinkI’ll lose the weight that I thinkI need to lose and then some moreThis magic potion born of war.

Then drink the entire glass .~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Now the Willpower meditation , You’ll Need :

1 candle (large and light blue)1 candle (long and white)1 candle (small and purple)incense (any type) or potpourri (any type)matches

This spell can be cast anywhere where you can remain for a period of time (the longer the better) and where you will be undisturbed and comfortable. Light the candles and start the incense or potpourri (you don’t need both, just one, or if the candles are scented that works as well).

Lay down in your comfortable place and chant the following chant:

Give me strength and guide me right,To my goals when they’re in sight,But even when they’re far away;Guide myself towards the dayWhen I shall stand upon the shoreMy conflicts gone forever more.And guide myself to make the choice,That I can’t bring myself to voice;And calm my tormented, ravaged soul,From right now till forever more.

The more often the chant is spoken, the more will power you will be given. The spell will fade over time and it is best if it is cast at least weekly .

Also ,remember with all spells intent is key , don’t doubt, don’t try , just do .

~Walk in Light

[fuckyeahitchywitch]

I really am in need of help in the weight loss department. My endocrinologist reccomends that i lose 15 lbs, and I would love to know of any things, rituals, spells, prayers, etc to the goddess for help.

Well , nothing I give you can take the place of proper diet and exercise , “if you are like me exercise is the key since eating right just isn’t going to happen. ;)”That being said , here you go, complete the potion just once before you start the meditations , repeat the meditations every few days for the first couple weeks , weekly after that .

You’ll Need :

a dash cinnamon1 cup (crystal)a dash salt (any type)1 teaspoon vinegar½ cup water

Mix all the ingredients together in a crystal glass. Start with the water, then trickle in the vinegar, while doing so say the following:

Add to this glass from which I’ll drinkThe vile taste one would surely think.

The throw in a pinch of salt saying:

And a bit of salt to kill the tasteOf my life I shall not waste

Then toss in a bit of cinnamon saying:

And finally a touch of spiceTo make my body slim and nice

Then swirl the entire mixture around with the cup in both hands. Hold it above your head and say:

With this potion that I drinkI’ll lose the weight that I thinkI need to lose and then some moreThis magic potion born of war.

Then drink the entire glass .~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Now the Willpower meditation , You’ll Need :

1 candle (large and light blue)1 candle (long and white)1 candle (small and purple)incense (any type) or potpourri (any type)matches

This spell can be cast anywhere where you can remain for a period of time (the longer the better) and where you will be undisturbed and comfortable. Light the candles and start the incense or potpourri (you don’t need both, just one, or if the candles are scented that works as well).

Lay down in your comfortable place and chant the following chant:

Give me strength and guide me right,To my goals when they’re in sight,But even when they’re far away;Guide myself towards the dayWhen I shall stand upon the shoreMy conflicts gone forever more.And guide myself to make the choice,That I can’t bring myself to voice;And calm my tormented, ravaged soul,From right now till forever more.

The more often the chant is spoken, the more will power you will be given. The spell will fade over time and it is best if it is cast at least weekly .

Also ,remember with all spells intent is key , don’t doubt, don’t try , just do .

~Walk in Light

[untitled22330]

[ireallyam-thatwitch]

✨weight loss chant✨

Here’s a quick and easy chant to encourage weight loss.

It’s good to massage the areas of your body that you want to lose weight in. So, use your power hand and massage your stomach, thighs, arms, where ever.

~massage counterclock wise~

remove the fat that has clung to my body

i vow to never eat anything rotten

~massage clockwise~

make me skinny like i used to be

now i will be skinny, mote it be.

Repeat 3 times.

If you wish to massage serums that encourage weightloss while you chant, that’s totally okay! It may even boast your spell.

Thanks for reading, be safe ✨⭐️💫

Results will be recorded as I use it

sept. 15, 2019: my appetite and unhealthy cravings decreased

sept. 17, 2019: there’s now a 1 inch gap in my calves and my stomach doesn’t protrude much anymore

sept. 30, 2019: i came down with a sickness that lasted only a day and forced me to fast. now my appetite has changed and so has my tolerance to large portions

oct. 21, 2019: it finally stuck. my hunger pains are faint or nonexistent. i can still stay decently energized despite being well under the recommended calorie intake

[witchoncampus]

A Spell for Fitness Motivation

If you’re like me, you start working out and after a month – or when you go on vacation, or get super busy – you lose your motivation. You stop working out. And then, in about three to four months, you start the cycle all over and it’s like you’ve never worked out a day in your life. Frustrating, right?

Well, luckily, if you’re still like me, you do ~witchy things~, there are some things you can do to help keep that motivation going. Oh yeah, magic is awesome. Now that I’ve said that, let me clarify: this spell isn’t going to “work like magic”. You’re not suddenly going to become a super fit gym and/or yoga rat. You’ll still have to work for it. But, with this spell, your desire to quit will be replaced with invigoration! 

(There’s also the added bonus of this being a very practical fitness mat cleaner… two birds, one stone.)

You’ll Need:

Rain water

Sandalwood Essential Oil

Coconut Oil

Spray bottle

Begin with rain water. Ensure that is filtered. It doesn’t need to be drinking quality, but as this is a cleaner, it certainly shouldn’t be dirty either. Add one to two small spoonfuls of coconut oil. Pop in the microwave for 30 seconds, stirring halfway through. Then add 0.5mL (about 12 drops) of sandalwood essential oil. Stir clockwise. As always, remind yourself of your intent. Performing this spell post-workout would be great since you’ll be in the workout mindset already. 

Once complete, pour mixture into a spray bottle.

^ That’s mine. I would actually recommend a glass spray bottle, but plastic works too! Glass will just help it stay fresh longer (and its better for the environment). 

Then, spray the shit out of your fitness mat. And by that, I mean give it a few generous little squirts. Then, take a damp towel and lightly scrub your mat. Let it dry (and this is important because coconut oil is slippery, so if you don’t get some of it rubbed in with the cloth, you could hurt yourself by slipping). 

While it’s drying, you might choose to take a seated meditation pose on the mat. Or, if you’re in a rush, no worries. Just continue on with your day and come to your mat tomorrow! The important thing is to return to the mat, even for a couple of minutes, within the next 12 to 24 hours from its cleaning. This will solidify the spell. 

Once the spell is complete, relax. Enjoy! 

Associates, Substitutions, and Tips: here, rain water is used as the primary carrier for the ingredients. It’s not doing a lot of magic on its own but plays a supporting role for the other ingredients. As such, it can be subbed for any other sort of water. The coconut oil serves as an antibacterial to clean the mat and has the associations of strength or willpower. You can sub this for another nut oil (such as sunflower or grapeseed) or for witch hazel oil. I would not recommend using olive, vegetable, or canola oil. Sandalwood is an invigorating and protective oil, but it can be substituted with any essential oil that makes you feel strong and motivated. Only use this spell when your mat is in need of cleaning.