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@st-asha
I think I'm happy again
Hello again. No this isn’t going to be how I want you back blah blah blah. This is to say, well done, you hurt me more than I ever could have hurt you. You’re right to say the relationship was shit, we argued a lot, and if that’s all you remember then that’s your problem not mine, I’m not going to try and make you remember the good parts anymore. I’m going to go back to being the care-free, happy girl that called you at 4am drunk on a Monday morning to leave a voice mail saying I hope you were okay. Instead of the ex who would do anything for you, even offer to pay for your hair cut. And you can go back to being the lad who chats up girls on tinder and does whatever he wants whenever with whoever. I am going to hopefully get therapy(long waiting lists), and I am going to get better. For me. Yes I still hope we meet up in the future and we're two different people and we can do everything we talked about doing together, I do still hope you're my soul mate and I will spend a life with you. But right now, you are not the boy who I was in love with. People change I understand. But the way you’ve hurt me, so many ways, I am silly thinking er could be together again soon and I know that. I’m still thinking about the mike who bought me roses 🌹 and who came to my house to hug me after my first day at sixth form because I was crying lol. Truth is, I don’t miss the arguments either. I love not arguing every day, I miss the new us, when we first got together. Life changes, we move on with it. That boy will have a place in my heart forever. I’ve been so desperate to be loved and give love, to have someone to take care of and watch grow but I don’t need that. For now, the only person I need to love is me.
I still can't even accept that it all meant nothing even after you've practically confirmed it
My god I need to stop living in the past. But I really believe we are not over, I can feel there is more left between us. I want to shower you with love and show you what you deserve, I know it’s two years too late and I can only pray that in a few weeks, months, years, you give me one chance to show you how much you can mean to a single person. I wish you let us try again. I have learnt so much from this and I hate how i had to lose you to do so because now I would walk across oceans just to have a chance to show you I would do anything for you.
I pray our paths cross again and I pray you don’t lose faith in me, in us. I pray you remember the good times we had, the plenty of laughs, the kisses, we did have a good relationship. Tarnished by my past, and in turn your decisions to lie. I want us to start fresh one day, with out the past hanging over us. Date again, smile again, be happy. I believe I found a soul mate in you, and I believe at one point you thought that too. I don’t think we were both wrong, we just needed to be taught lessons in love. I wish I could go back and learn quicker, but I learn best the hard way. I can only pray now that you come back to me one day and we make this work.
I want to make you forget the sad times and create happier ones. I want road trips I want to take the train to see you I want to hold you I want to cry with you I want everything but I only can see it with you and I'm breaking all over again
My god I need to stop living in the past. But I really believe we are not over, I can feel there is more left between us. I want to shower you with love and show you what you deserve, I know it's two years too late and I can only pray that in a few weeks, months, years, you give me one chance to show you how much you can mean to a single person. I wish you let us try again. I have learnt so much from this and I hate how i had to lose you to do so because now I would walk across oceans just to have a chance to show you I would do anything for you. I pray our paths cross again and I pray you don't lose faith in me, in us. I pray you remember the good times we had, the plenty of laughs, the kisses, we did have a good relationship. Tarnished by my past, and in turn your decisions to lie. I want us to start fresh one day, with out the past hanging over us. Date again, smile again, be happy. I believe I found a soul mate in you, and I believe at one point you thought that too. I don't think we were both wrong, we just needed to be taught lessons in love. I wish I could go back and learn quicker, but I learn best the hard way. I can only pray now that you come back to me one day and we make this work.
i feel so out of control and i hate myself so much
i feel so unlovable. i have all this affection inside me and nobody has ever wanted any of it. nobody has ever wanted any of me
i want to cut so badly right now
I had affection for others until people even took that and used it against me.
i’m sorry if i’m too much. i always feel like i’m too much.
Love was that moment when your heart was about to burst
Stieg Larsson (via glassbonespaperskin)
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