About: I’m very involved in action, fantasy, and drama related media ! I love a good ship ! ! 😋Even more so rare pairs!! I welcome all to my page and I don’t discriminate !
Pronouns: They/them ! ⭐️
Ask’s details: Ask anything ! You can request my opinion on any media type, shows I’ve watched or maybe have to yet ! Request fanfics of fandoms I’m in, I’m open to all !
Human flesh is described as tasting similar to pork, veal, or beef, often termed "long pig," with variations in flavor caused by differences in diet, age, body fat percentage, gender, and the specific muscle cut
Something I think that’s interesting is that the puppy doll Rudo gives chiwa, when he fixes it he gives it a little stripped ribbon collar with a bow on the back and then later we meet amo
Her hair gives the shape of a drooped down puppy ears (like the doll) and a striped ribbon collar with a bow on her back
Just something interesting about Amos design that I liked
Another reason I love this scene is that it's not a one sided desire to reconnect further. Rudo feels healed when he started to understand Amo, and the same on her side. They both want to try to understand one another, and also themselves through their connection.
I think this scene in particular fucked me up and made me cry when I watched Episode 13. Let me tell you why.
For context: Mister tells Amo that they should do their usual “Ritual”, said ritual being rape and sexual assault. Amo then says, “Amo’s heart beats fast whenever she does the rituals. It makes it hard to breathe. It hurts.” Mister, being the goddamn vile motherfucker he was, lied to Amo and said that the feelings she had were actually ‘love’ and that she was ‘in love with him.’ Which then led to the dreaded ‘crayon scene’.
Now, I’ve seen some comments on social media saying,
- “Oh, well, the flowers mean that she actually enjoyed what Mister did to her! She’s still attached to him!”
(No, she did not enjoy it. To even suggest that she did makes me want to check your search history. The flowers, in my opinion, are signs of Amo trying to reimagine her innocence or romanticize what was happening in order to cope, but it failed miserably.)
- “If Amo really hated Mister, then how come she said that Mister was a ‘great first love’ and that ‘she’ll never forget him’ when she smelled the boots?”
(You need to remember, this poor girl went through so much in one day. She snapped and killed her abuser, was given boots that were her ‘missing pieces’, and saw ‘Angels’ for the first time. Plus, we can all CLEARLY tell that it was a flashback from MONTHS AGO. Hell, even near the end of the episode Amo says, “Becoming human made Amo understand some things she never understood. Like how what Mister was doing to her wasn’t really love.” She realized, after months of being alone, that Mister was never her first love and that he was a terrible man that did terrible things to her. She doesn’t want that anymore.)
- “She smiled when Mister was done with her after the crayon scene! So the creators are using her as a fanservice/gooner character!”
(Again, Amo was telling herself a lie that what she’s feeling is ‘love’ and not ‘fear’. When she said, “So this is what love is. I’m so happy to know this feeling.” It’s like a ‘fake it til you make it’ situation. Deep down, this is one of the most terrifying things that ever happened to her, and she knows this well. But out of keeping her sanity, SHE HAD TO TELL HERSELF THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS, NOT CONTINUOUS SEXUAL ASSAULT. Also, when she talks to herself in the third person, she is pretending that she is a character. Becuase if she referred to herself in the first person and realized the gravity of her abuse, it would not go well for her. So she had to, out of survival and coping with her trauma.)
Let’s be so honest: In that scene that made me cry, Amo was NOT falling in love with Mister.
SHE WAS SCARED.
She was afraid of Mister, and she always was afraid of him.
In this moment; she realized that this is the only form of ‘love’ she will ever get in her life and, with fear and despair in her heart, forced herself to accept it.
When she leans her head down and says, “Ok.”, that’s not out of love, that’s out of terror. It’s out of coercion. But because Amo has never known was true love felt like (whether romantic, platonic, or family), and because she was trapped with Mister since she was a child (I’m gonna assume since 6 to 15 years old, so a total of 9 years…maybe even more), this is the only kind of “love” she ever known.
According to her during that time, to know love is to know fear and pain.
So Amo turned off all of her true emotions, became numb, went along with Mister’s sick fantasies for survival, and referred to herself in the third person in order to separate herself from her body to cope and not emotionally combust.
