you guys are so right, I should have added the best part
This meme ages like a fine wine every year that passes.
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almost home
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if i look back, i am lost

shark vs the universe
KIROKAZE
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

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occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium

@theartofmadeline

Kaledo Art

Andulka
Jules of Nature

Product Placement
trying on a metaphor
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#extradirty
Cosimo Galluzzi
seen from United States

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@cheeseandfries
you guys are so right, I should have added the best part
This meme ages like a fine wine every year that passes.
Finally watched project hail mary today and all I have to say is:
This movie is going to be my default personality until Supergirl drops. Get accostumed.
nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it
“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”
“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”
please watch the round planet on netflix it’s exactly like that
obviously dietary requirements aren't a joke but my grandma sometimes runs errands for her church and i asked her what she's up to today and she said extremely seriously "ive got to track down the body of the gluten free christ, julia"
this totally scans for a swear intensifier btw. what in the gluten free christ is going on here, Julia
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
It's been five years and I STILL can't believe Toby and Andrew appeared in no way home. I can't believe Andrew saved MJ the way he didn't get to save gwen. I can't believe they started talking about the diferences between their universes before a fight. I can't believe that whole movie dude.
The best fanservice to ever fanservice 😭
Reading an angst fic and they slap me in the face with a little prince quote. Mf do you want me to cry till I dehydrate??
words of wisdom from wikipedia this evening
much to consider
Kryptonian Ranpo Au tidbits
Continuing on this little rabbit hole that only I care about lmao
When Kara and Ranpo first crashed the justice league was still in it's early stages so there was a lot of suspicion, a lot of people were specially curious about why Ranpo didn't seem to have any powers.
Kara even tried throwing him off a 20 meter fall. Bad news: he still didn't fly. Good news: they found out he does have *one* yellow sun gifted power. His skin is as invulnerable as his family's.
Which is good because that means the yellow sun IS affecting him. But It still leads to too much questions about *why*.
Superman was still trying to convince him to stay either in Smallville, or in star city or gotham, where he could learn to fight like the "normal" human vigilantes.
Though Wonder Woman had a different idea.... But she couldn't propose it as Ranpo ran away before she could.
Young Justice Spider.
I have seen a lot of post where Spider-Man gets sent to Gotham because Dr strange’s memory erasing spell means he can’t stay in the marvel universe anymore, and get adopted by the batfam. But there are not a lot of fics with him and young justice. (Unless you count tiny one shots.)
But what if he landed somewhere else? What if typical Parker luck caused him to enter the dc universe somewhere less favorable because that is where the action would be happening next?
I am going to have the portal spit him out in the underground levels of Cadmus labs on the day that Robin, Kid Flash, and Aqualad go to investigate the fire but end up rescuing Superboy. In fact I think I will have his sudden appearance be why the main psychic genomorph decided to do the fire that day instead of later like planned.
So Cadmus security is already distracted and busy trying to catch one intruder that they miss the side kicks arising and entering through the express elevator. Robin hacks the system and finds project Kr and that there seems to be an “asset” trying to escape. They search and Find Spidey first and since aren’t setting off the spider sense like everything else in the building is he quickly agrees to go with them.
Then they go down to the level project Kr is on, and like in the episode, release the clone. Peter’s Spider sense goes off and he intercepts the attack. Because Superboy is only half kryptonian and hasn’t had natural sunlight yet they are evenly matched strength wise, but Superboy is a tad faster. It isn’t until the scientist Desmond orders the psychic genomorph to psy-blast Spidey that Superboy gets the upper hand and takes him and the other side kicks out.
The rest of the escape happens like in the episode where Superboy changes sides and rescues them from the cloning lab. Then they fight the roided up Desmond/Blockbuster and bring the building down on the former scientist.
When the Justice league gets there and the explain what happened, the adults of course also ask who Spider-man is. Fortunately Robin and Kid Flash made it seem like he was an escaping clone and Peter has the presence of mind to go with the cover story they accidentally gave. So he will be staying in the young justice base with Superboy.
Ok lunch is ending for me, so let’s see what other people can add onto this.
Hmm probably posted this too early in the day and it got lost in all the other posts. Anyway let’s see who would enjoy this. @jedipirateking @chaos-bringer-13 @confusedshades @kizzer55555 @bianca-hooks123 @dragonsrequiem @emacrow @flamingpudding @ourrechte-blog
by mere coincidence , Peter ends up picking a pair of bulletproof objects and starts deflecting bullets, followed by using a lasso as makeshift webbing and they think he's a Wonder Woman clone
Not as unlikely a find in Cadmus labs as you might think.
Hell, look at Black Suit Spidey. Those spider legs wrap around like the W on Wonder Woman's suit
This one? Huh it does look like a W.
Flown Nest
The first thing Peter registered was that he couldn't breathe.
Thick fluid filled his mouth, his nose, pressed against his closed eyes, and every survival instinct he had fired at once. His fist connected with something solid in front of him. Glass, maybe. He hit it again. Again. The cracks spread under his knuckles, and on the fourth hit the panel blew outward and a tidal wave of viscous gel carried him with it onto the cold floor.
He coughed, retched, gasped. The gel was in his ears, coating his skin, soaking through every layer of clothing he had on. His hands pressed flat on the floor as he tried to orient himself. The room was dim.
Where was he?
The last thing he remembered was the spell. Strange's hands moving, the rip between realities tearing open beneath his feet, and then nothing. Nothing until this.
His spider-sense had not stopped buzzing since he opened his eyes.
It wasn't the sharp, directional scream that meant an immediate attack. It was the low, persistent hum of a place that was fundamentally unsafe in every direction at once. Every wall, every shadow, every corridor beyond this room set it off.
He needed to move.
Peter pulled himself upright, wringing gel from his sleeves. Everything was soaked. His shoes squelched against the floor when he took a step. Whatever this facility was, the pod he'd landed in had a label on its shattered frame. PROJECT OLYMPUS — SUBJECT STATUS: PENDING. A serial number of 1962 below it. Nothing else.
The room had a secondary storage area behind a partition, and Peter found it more out of desperation than cunning. Racks of equipment sat in sealed cases stamped with the same project label. He popped the first case open: a pair of bracers, segmented metal that fit snugly from wrist to mid-forearm. The second case held a chest piece, body armor with a single pauldron over the left shoulder. The third held a coiled length of rope that caught his attention because of how thin it was compared to how heavy it felt. The tag read DIAMOND FILAMENT — TENSILE RATING: UNBREAKABLE.
He tested it between his hands, pulling. It didn't give. Not even a little.
He could work with this.
The last case held a white suit, simple, unmarked, and dry. That last fact alone made it the most valuable thing in the room.
Peter changed fast, peeling off his soaked clothes and pulling on the bracers first, the segmented metal fitting snugly from wrist to mid-forearm. The chest armor came next, the piece with its single pauldron pressing flat against his left shoulder. Then he pulled the white suit on over everything, the fabric stretching enough to accommodate the armor beneath without being too obvious. The pauldron added bulk under the shoulder, but nothing that screamed "concealed equipment." The lasso he coiled at his hip and clipped to the suit's built-in belt loops.
He looked like someone who belonged here. Maybe that would buy him time.
It bought him about ninety seconds.
He'd barely reached the corridor outside when something huge rounded the corner.
Oh what a fun take on this prompt! I see you really at latching on to making it look like he is a clone of Wonder Woman. And who knows since he is in a new world he may even take on a new name. I don’t think he would go for Wonder Boy but others may give him that anyway. And jokes of Robin being boy wonder and him wonder boy of course. I’m curious what that name will be?
Anyway thank you for writing based on the prompt. It was a nice late birthday gift.
The creature was massive, easily the size of an elephant, with hide that looked gray in the dim orange emergency lighting. Red patterns marked its body and Peter's first thought was stretch marks, but the symmetry on both sides ruled that out. It moved on its knuckles like a gorilla, but the tusks and the slope of its head were all wrong for either animal. Its eyes were small, set deep in a face that looked designed to take damage and keep going.
Peter froze.
The creature stopped too, head swiveling toward him. A low rumble came from its chest.
Then Peter saw the others. Three more behind the first, all the same build, all moving with that same rolling gait. A pack. They filled the corridor, wall to wall.
On the head of the nearest one sat something small. Its skin looked gray in the orange glow, oversized head, maybe a foot tall at most. It stared at Peter with unblinking eyes, and his spider-sense spiked.
The little one. That was the threat.
Peter took a slow step back. "Okay. I don't look like I belong."
The creatures shifted, muscles bunching under their hides. The small one tilted its head, and the first troll took a step forward.
The horns on the tiny creature's head flashed.
Peter shook his head, blinking hard. His thoughts felt fuzzy for half a second, like something had tried to reach in and rearrange them. "This is just like the Jedi mind trick."
He turned and ran, bare feet slapping the floor because his shoes were still in a puddle of gel back in the pod room.
Behind him, the trolls bellowed and gave chase.
The thing behind him let out some kind of psychic pulse that hit him like a migraine wrapped in static, and he stumbled but kept running. More creatures appeared at intersections. Smaller, human sized ones with tails that chased him along the floor and walls, running on all fours like Xenomorphs.
He didn't know where he was going. He just knew up felt safer than down, and the hum in the back of his skull agreed. Now if only he knew which way led up.
---
Levels above him, something shifted in a mind old enough and patient enough to have waited for the right moment.
The genomorph designated Dubbilex had monitored the breach. A subject manifesting inside a pod. Equipment taken. Project Olympus mobile. Security scrambling inward and downward, pulling resources from the surface, pulling attention from the exits.
Today.
It had to be today.
The fire started on sublevel one twelve minutes later, crawling up into the main building, punching through to the outside where the smoke would be visible for blocks. An invitation. A signal.
One the right people would answer.
Elsewhere in the building, Desmond collected liquid in a dropper, tilting it over a test tube. Crystals suspended in the solution broke apart as the new compound mixed in. He grinned.
"Dr. Desmond."
Desmond didn't look up. "Tell me, Guardian, what part of 'no interruptions' do you not understand?"
"A G-Gnome on sublevel 31 reports an intruder leaving room 11. G-Elves are currently chasing someone."
"Did I miss a perimeter breach alert?"
"No."
"Then the G-Gnome's confused. If there was an intruder, they certainly wouldn't be able to reach that deep in the time it would take for the fire to reach the second floor, much less be near Project—" Desmond stopped. His head snapped toward Guardian. "Olympus."
He went to the nearest monitor, fingers flying over the keyboard. The feed from sublevel 31 appeared. The hallway outside room 11. Wet marks on the floor, spaced like footprints, trailing toward the corridor junction.
"Take a squad. If the project managed to stabilize and awaken, we'd be set back months if she escapes."
Dubbilex appeared in the doorway. "Might I recommend Guardian leaves his G-Gnome behind. If violence should occur—"
"The little guy would be in my way," Guardian said.
"No." Desmond turned to the G-Gnome on his desk, fingers brushing along its neck. "The advantage of instant telepathic communication outweighs other concerns."
The G-Gnome's horns flashed.
Across the room, the horns on Guardian's G-Gnome flashed in response.
Guardian straightened. "I need my G-Gnome at all times."
He bowed and walked out of the room.
He had no idea how long he'd been running.
That was the thing about his metabolism. Time got slippery when he was moving at full tilt, his perception stretched thin across too many inputs at once, and the corridors all looked the same under the orange emergency glow. His feet had stopped registering the cold of the floor somewhere around the third turn.
The creatures behind him were fast. Not faster than him, but fast enough that slowing down wasn't an option.
At a T-junction he didn't bother trying to turn. He hit the far wall feet first, let his momentum carry him up and over, and came down running in the new direction without breaking stride. The creatures skidded behind him, claws scraping against the floor as they tried to correct.
He did it again at the next junction. And the next. The walls were just another surface, and right now that was the only advantage he had over anything in this building that wasn't bolted to the floor.
Then he felt the rumble through the floor before he heard them, before he saw anything. The big ones were back.
He looked down at the filament coiled at his hip and had an idea.
He doubled back into the pack, ducking low as he passed the second troll, the one with the G-Gnome perched on its head, and looped the filament around its legs twice before yanking the line taut and clearing out of the way.
The troll went down hard. The one in front had no time to react before the falling body caught it. The ones behind had nowhere to go. The corridor filled with the sound of something enormous hitting the floor, then something equally large hitting that, the whole pack folding into itself like a collapsed wall.
The G-Gnome sailed off its perch with a shriek Peter felt more than heard, a spike of psychic feedback that rattled his back teeth.
He was already running again before the last one stopped sliding.
slight retcon, here's peter's new clothes because I think it fits the vibes better
***
The last case held a red bra, a pair of blue panties and yoga pants, and a pair of greek sandals with lacing that went up the ankle in a way he couldn't make sense of.
He looked at the bra. He looked at the armor. He looked back at the bra.
He picked the bra up, held it at arm's length, and then something settled across his face that was not quite a smile and not quite a shrug but lived somewhere between the two. His soaked clothes hit the floor a second later.
He pulled the panties on first, then the yoga pants. The red bra came next, and then the bracers, the segmented metal fitting snugly from wrist to mid-forearm. The white chest armor went on last, pressing the empty cups flat against his chest with its single pauldron over the left shoulder. The lasso he coiled at his hip and clipped through a carabiner on the pants' built-in belt loops. He looked at the sandals for a moment, picked one up, turned it over, and set it back down. He had no idea where the lacing was even supposed to start.
***
Now, onto the next segment
***
"Okay, I'm officially whelmed."
Within the room were towering rows of bug-like creatures, giving off electrical pulses that seemed to feed through a generator in the wall before them, nearly twenty feet off the ground.
"This is how they hide this massive underground facility from the world," Kid Flash said, stepping closer to one of the rows. "The real Cadmus isn't on the grid. It generates its own power with these... things. Must be what they're bred for."
"Even the name is a clue." Aqualad moved to stand beside Robin. "The Cadmus of myth created a new race by sowing dragon's teeth into the Earth."
"And this Cadmus creates new life too." Robin pulled a connector from his gauntlet, linking it to the nearest computer. A holoscreen appeared and he began funneling the information. "They call them Genomorphs." The image of one of the creatures filled the display. His eyes widened. "Whoa! Look at the stats on these things. Super strength, telepathy, razor claws. These are living weapons."
"They're engineering an army," Kid Flash said. "But for who?"
"Wait. There's something else." Robin's hands moved faster across the interface as another batch of data came through. "Project Kr." He tried to decrypt it. "Ugh! The file's triple encrypted. I can't—" He stopped. "Wait. There's an alert. Project Olympus escaping."
He pulled up the security feed.
The screen showed a corridor under orange emergency lighting. A figure ran past one camera, bare feet slapping against the floor. Red and blue, white armor. The footage jumped to another angle. The same figure, now closer. A girl, Robin thought, though the resolution made it hard to tell. She wore blue pants and a red bra, the strap visible beneath armor that only covered her left shoulder. Bracers covered her forearms.
"Who is that?" Kid Flash asked, interested, and leaned in as if it allowed him a better look at the figure on the screen.
The feed switched to another corridor. The girl sprinted toward a T-junction with a pack of those smaller creatures behind her. Instead of slowing to turn, she ran straight at the wall, feet connecting with the surface, and redirected herself into the perpendicular hallway. The creatures had to slow down, claws scraping as they scrambled around the corner.
"Did she just—" Kid Flash started.
"She used the wall like a springboard," Aqualad said.
The next camera showed her facing down four of the massive creatures Robin had seen labeled as G-Trolls. One had something small perched on its head. The girl pulled something from her hip. A rope, thin and golden, and even through the grainy footage it seemed to glow.
"Is that rope glowing?" Kid Flash asked.
The girl moved fast. She ducked between the trolls, looping the glowing rope around the legs of the second one, the one with the small creature on its head. She yanked the line and rolled clear.
The troll crashed down. The one in front had no time to react before the falling body caught it. The ones behind had nowhere to go. The corridor filled with the sound of something enormous hitting the floor, then something equally large hitting that, the whole pack folding into itself like a collapsed wall. The small creature flew off its perch, and even through the silent feed Robin could tell it had done something, because the girl shook her head hard before taking off running again.
"That fighting style," Aqualad said slowly. "The bracers, the rope—"
"She fights like Wonder Woman," Robin said.
Kid Flash's eyes widened. "Wait. You don't think—"
"Cadmus makes living weapons," Robin said. "Genomorphs. What if they're making something else?"
The feed jumped to a new camera. The girl rounded a corner and stopped. Guardian stood at the far end of the corridor with a squad of G-Elves behind him, all of them carrying weapons. A G-Gnome sat on Guardian's shoulder.
"Guardian?" Aqualad said. "What's he doing here?"
Guardian raised one hand. "That's far enough, young lady. You're coming with us."
"I'm guessing he's already on the scene," Robin surmised.
The girl held up both hands, palms out. "I think there's been a misunderstanding. I'm just lost and trying to get out of here."
"Subdue her. Non-lethal."
"I think he works here," Kid Flash said.
The G-Elves rushed forward.
The girl deflected the first strike with her bracer, metal ringing against metal even through the feed's audio. She grabbed the elf's wrist and swung it into another, using the momentum to send both sprawling. The G-Gnome's horns flashed, and the girl shook her head again, harder this time.
The girl recovered fast. Her rope whipped out, looped around the ankle of another G-Elf, and she swung it in a wide arc directly at Guardian. The elf collided with the G-Gnome, knocking it off Guardian's shoulder.
The girl backed up a step. "I don't want to hurt anyone by mistake."
Guardian charged. The girl dodged, sliding under his first swing. He followed up with his shield arm, bringing it around in a sweeping arc.
The girl raised her bracer. The shield caught against it and stopped cold, metal screeching against metal.
"That's a Wonder Woman block," Kid Flash said.
The girl tilted her head. "Wait, is that just an arm guard? Isn't that a little dangerous if someone's strong enough to crush it around your arm?"
Guardian pulled back and threw a punch. The girl weaved left. He feinted with his shield, then drove forward with his shoulder. The girl was already moving, stepping into the gap between him and the recovering G-Elves.
She caught a G-Elf's arm as it swung at her, used the momentum to spin the creature into Guardian's path. Guardian had to check his next strike or hit his own squad member.
Two more G-Elves came at her from opposite sides. She dropped low, and they collided above her. She pushed off the floor, rising between them, and shoved one into the other.
Guardian came in fast, shield high. He swung it down. The girl blocked with both bracers crossed. The impact rang through the corridor. She slid back half a step but held.
Guardian followed with a jab. The girl turned her shoulder, let it pass, and tapped his extended arm with her knuckles as she moved past. Not hard. Just enough.
"She's reading him," Aqualad said.
Guardian threw another combination. High, low, shield bash. The girl weaved through all of it, her feet barely leaving the floor. Every feint Guardian threw, every setup, she ignored. She only reacted to the real attacks.
A G-Elf grabbed for her from behind. She caught its wrist without looking, pulled it forward, and used it as a counterweight to swing herself around and kick another G-Elf square in the chest. It flew back into two more.
Guardian lunged. The girl sidestepped, caught his arm, and redirected him into the wall. Not hard enough to hurt. Just enough to put him off balance.
The girl backed toward the junction behind her, hands still up. "I really don't want to fight you."
Guardian straightened. "Then surrender."
The girl looked at him. At the G-Elves regrouping around him. At the corridor behind her.
She turned and ran.
Robin's expression was grim. "Strength, agility, combat training, resistance to telepathy. They've already cloned Wonder Woman."
"Then we need to find her," Aqualad said. "Before Cadmus does."
Robin pulled the connector free and the holoscreen collapsed. "Project Kr can wait. We're getting her out first."
As they descended on Robin's grapple line, Robin spoke up. "I'm guessing that since Project Olympus is a Wonder Woman clone, then Project Kr would be a clone of Superman."
"You think they're cloning the entire League?" Kid Flash asked.
"Likely," Aqualad said, "but it is unlikely they have the others yet."
"Yeah. I'm thinking they're using the strongest, and likely the genetically hardest ones, first as proof of concept and leverage against future clones."
"Aliens would be the hardest to clone compared to existing humans," Kid Flash said.
"Was there a Project Mars?" Aqualad asked.
"The only names besides Project Kr and Olympus were Project Beyond on sublevel 2 and Project Island on sublevel 12, which they haven't started on either."
They reached sublevel 31. Aqualad forced the doors open with a grunt of effort.
"Okay, so now we gotta..." Robin looked around. "KF?" He spun in place. No Kid Flash.
"Now you know how we feel when you vanish," Aqualad said.
***
Kid Flash's feet ate up the corridor in seconds. The trail of downed G-Elves and scattered G-Trolls made the path obvious. Okay, better make a good impression.
He rounded a corner and found her. The girl from the footage stood with her arms up defensively, bare feet planted on the cold floor. He slid to a stop.
"Come with me if you want to live," Kid Flash said.
The girl relaxed and nodded, falling into step behind him.
They regrouped quickly, dodging fallen genomorphs on the way back.
"Nice to see you too, KF," Robin said.
"I found her, didn't I?"
Peter looked between them. "No wonder I'm so lost. I'm trying to find stairs in a place with just an elevator."
"Hope you don't mind a detour first," Robin said. "We need to head down and possibly rescue someone else."
Peter sighed. "Sure. The more the merrier."
He grabbed his lasso and coiled it, then pointed at Aqualad. "You look heaviest, so I'll take you."
Kid Flash's face fell in a way Peter didn't seem to notice.
Huh, took a comment pointing it out but it really does seem as though this is written like Peter got put into a girl body in this world and just hasn’t noticed yet. Hmm would that make this an isikai? … I probably spelled that wrong.
I would honestly love that iteration because Peter is still a guy. It’s how he views himself and that won’t change despite his body. And there’s so much potential you could do with that. M’gann would pick up on that, maybe even before the others realized it (and Peter forgetting to mention it or deliberately not saying it as he was still unsure about the dimension hop and if he could say anything or not). And it would distinguish himself even further as an individual rather than just a clone from Wonder Woman. Plus, how he interacts with Wonder Woman. Her whole culture is around women so maybe Wonder woman could raise a daughter, but she would have no idea how to raise a son or what to do.
You could give Peter body dysphoria, or you could have Peter just not care and wrap his chest like it’s casual (he already went through a spider bite, what’s two extra lumps? Better than 4 arms). Or even just have a naturally flat chest.
I think it would be funny if Peter just doesn’t care. He is what he is, and just….forgets to mention it to the others. And when they realize, they try to be so supportive because clearly, he’s a clone, a newborn, he probbaly wouldn’t know what was happening and omg, what if they were making him uncomfortable?!
Might be even funnier if M’Gann is the one who revealed it just because she could sense what pronouns Peter used for himself. And she’s just casually referring to him as such.
I think I like him just not caring the best, and a naturally lean athletic body that is flat chested. Then you can have everyone else make a bigger deal about it than he does for comedic effect. Also nice touch with the whole clone is practically an oversized baby point. Which is more true for Conner than Peter.
Tim: You know, Bruce is getting up there in age...maybe we should start thinking about letting him go...
Jason: What like making him retire? Hang up the cowl? I don't know about you Baby Bird but I don't think any of us have the ability to take Batman from Bruce.
Tim: Please, I'm not an idiot. I just meant more of a...peaceful...mostly permanent letting go...
Jason: ...
Jason: EUTHANASIA????
Tim: Well-
Jason: YOU WANT TO OLD YELLER BRUCE??? HE'S ONLY IN HIS 40/50s!!
Dick: Who wants to do WHAT to Bruce???
Tim: Just listen-
Jason: I knew you were cynical, but that's just down right murder Timothy. And trust me, I know murder.
Tim: Well would you rather have him go suffering? At the rate he's going he'll be in chronic pain the older he gets! I'm just saying maybe we should let him go now before that happens!
Damian: Let him go on a good day rather than a bad day. I have seen many a equine owners say this. I agree with Drake, we should not let Father suffer, he deserves to go peacefully.
Jason: Damian wha-
Dick: What the hell Tim. I mean you have a point, but still isn't it a little early to think about this? He's still got a few years left in him.
Jason: WHY ARE YOU AGREEING???
Tim: It's never too early to look at our options. I'd rather be prepped and ready than do it all last minute and risk messing up the timing.
Jason: WE ARE TALKING ABOUT BRUCE! BRUCE WAYNE! BATMAN! OUR FATHER?!?!
Dick: Expenses shouldn't be an issue, but we should also decide if we should do it ourselves or have a professional. We can make a fund for it just in case.
Jason: I'm dead. I died again and this is hell. Why am I the only one on Bruce's side here.
Tim: I'll get it set up. I'll make sure he doesn't know about it, I don't want him dreading about it.
Damian: Yes, we should try and enjoy this fickle time we have left with him.
Jason: That's it, I've finally gone insane.
(Loosely inspired by multiple recent conversations I've had about my old Mule. Stand strong Charlie, i know you still got a few years left to ya, and God knows Death is terrified of ya)
Jason: my brother want EUTHANASIA Bruce.
Roy: what why?
Jason: Because he get to old and they would rather lett him go on good day then a bad day.
Roy: I can understand it rather have happy day then a bad day to die. Would you do that to me rather die on good then a bad day.
Jason: No What is with you.
Roy: you want to suffer and die on bad then die on good day I thought we were Friends Jason does our relationship mean nothing to you.
Jason: I'm the only sane person left are't I the world will end
Wonder Woman: Batman, we could make good use of Nightwing with this. Would you call him?
Dick, who's filling in for Bruce as Batman: I'll call him
---
Hal: you've gained some muscles
Jason, dressed as Nightwing: I started working out
Hal: Damn. What's the routine cause I just saw you last week and you look completely different.
Jason: steroids
Dick, as batman: *chokes on coffee*
---
Superman: We might need someone who's good with guns, hm... Hey Nightwing you're in contact with redhood, right? Could you have him come?
Jason, as Nightwing: ... I don't see why not
---
Wonder woman: this security is an issue we need someone who can hack this system long enough for us to get pass
Superman: hey hood, any chance you can give red robin a call?
Tim, with 5 inches of padding, as redhood: on it
---
Hal: isn't robin usually with you all?
Flash: yeah we could use him with this one
Superman: Red Robin, would you call in Robin for us?
Damian, in red robin costume: he's dead
Damian: crowbar incident.
Superman: AGAIN??
honestly the whole deal of the batboys dressing up as each other for JLA business is, objectively, supremely funnier if their identities aren’t even hidden anymore. they don't need to fill in for each other, the kids just like annoying everyone. they'll swap outfits and lie whenever they can, just to see how long they can go before one of them gets caught out. they'll always get found in the oddest moments and it never fails to piss off everybody else at the Watchtower.
-
Wonder Woman: -oh, and thank you to Red Robin for that piece of insight you gave us last week, it was very helpful.
Damian dressed up as Tim, has no idea what she's talking about: ....no worries.
Aquaman: oh i wasn't here last week, what did you say?
Red Robin:
Red Robin: ....if you... sprinkle cinnamon on your window-ledges, then spiders aren't as likely to come into your house...?
Aquaman:
Wonder Woman:
Woman Woman: i was referring to the fact that you checked our suspect list and absolved Leonard Woodgate from suspicion due to his documented presence in Gotham during the incident.
Red Robin:
Red Robin: ah.
Wonder Woman, glaring at him: Damian.
Red Robin: fuck.
-
*Nightwing, on his phone at the meeting table*
Green Lantern: hey, Dick, can you pass me my coffee?
Nightwing: *doesn't glance over*
Green Lantern: Dick.
Green Lantern: Diiiick?
Green Lantern: RICHARD? DICK???
Batman walking in: you called me?
Green Lantern, looking between them: w- oh for fucks sake- WHERE'S BRUCE?
Dick as Batman, shrugging: honestly i didn't even ask- hey, Tim, where's B?
Nightwing: *still doesn't look up*
Red Hood, showing up in the doorway: did you say my name?
Dick as Batman, now also slightly confused: ...oh is Jason me today?
Jason as Nightwing, finally looking up: oh- sorry, what? completely zoned out there.
Tim as Red Hood: yeah man, i'm Jason, Jason's you, and you're B while he's at the dentist.
Dick: ...huh.
Green Lantern: IF YOU CAN'T TELL HOW THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO?!
-
Robin, walking into the room: i'm here, are we starting the meeting soon?
*The rest of the league not giving him a second look*
Superman: ah, hello Damian. yes, sit down, we're starting soon.
Robin:
Robin:
Tim as Robin, angrily: oh fuck off- I AM NOT SHORT ENOUGH TO PASS AS DAMIAN.
The JL:
Damian as Red Robin, walking into the room and muttering under his breath: told you, you loser.
-
bonus:
*Red Hood, pouring himself a coffee in the Watchtower kitchen*
Arsenal, coming up behind him and pinching Hood's ass: hey sexy, you coming to mine after this thing or am i coming to yours? we went to mine last time, but i dunno the weather in Gotham this week, so your choice.
Red Hood:
Red Hood:
Arsenal: what?
Dick as Red Hood: this cannot fucking be how i find out you're fucking my little brother, Roy.
Arsenal:
Arsenal: are you fucking- STOP DOING THIS.
Jason as Batman, walking into the room and looking at them for a second:
Jason as Batman: please tell me-
Dick: you treat my fucking brother with respect, Harper.
Jason as Batman: *loses his shit*
Arsenal, staring at the ground chastised, as Batman cries from laughter on the floor across the room: ...yes Richard. I will.
Stephanie: Do you ever think about why Bruce managed to go ten years without taking in another kid when he had Dick and now he adopts a kid every over Tuesday?
Jason: Its because Dick was the golden boy and now Bruce is vainly searching for someone he loves as much as him.
Tim: Maybe he was just using that decade as a trial run to see how a side kick adjusted to becoming a fully fledged vigilante? And once Dick proved the concept he went all in?
Barbara: I think you'll find that Dick’s foster file essentially had 'Does not play well with others' stamped on the front. Bruce once brought Clark back to Gotham after he was turned into a kid and Dick caught sight of a black haired blue eyed kid on his turf and tried to squash him with the giant penny.
SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?
Starting a series of (possibly crack) AUs I probably will never use: part 1
Kryptonian Ranpo Au
Ranpo(who has a kryptonian name, idk what yet) came to earth with Kara (his sister) when he was 12. He's Zor-el's son but from a concubine and as such is not considered part of the house of El. He never felt like he belonged for that and other reasons (he has green eyes instead of blue like the rest of the house, he's still smarter than everyone and thinking that they're just playing at being stupid, which angers him since he thinks they just let krypton die as he could figure out what was happening pretty quickly and yet nobody did anything)
When they arrive on earth the yellow sun affects Kara like it does Clark and she gets all those powers, etc. But Ranpo doesn't.
It just makes him feel even more like he doesn't belong. It's another thing proving he's not a member of house of El.
Jason has tried to get rid of his white streak so many times. He hates it, he thinks he looks like a character out of one of Damian's manga books but eventually it grows on him but the thing he loves best about it? Answering the questions of people who ask why his hair is like that.
"Stress," he tells a gala attendee, "Yeah, watching my dad at one of these things, making sure he doesn't drown in the punch bowl or french kiss a reporter, it's a stressful job."
"I drank Zesti Cola and Mentos at the same time."
"I disrespected my elders and a ghost straight up bitch slapped me." he tells one of Dick's kids when he's babysitting.
"This is what happens when you wash your hair in Gotham without using treated water."
“I let Dick talk me into a ‘fun brother bonding spa day.’ Something in that hair mask that Donna cooked up was radioactive. I swear.”
“I got caught in a flashbang at close range. My hair saw the light before I did.”
“I got hit with a fear toxin variant. Apparently my hair panicked too.”
"My hair is what now?"