Special Agent Caleb Starling

the world will not be this way within reach of my arm

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

He frowned.  ”Mama, I’m…I’m not.”  He twirled the rose in his fingers.

[stablest-elements]

Se reached out and cupped his face. "Hey, baby. I'm sorry, I know this has been hard on you."

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

"He’s probably just planning a surprise," he said, taking another rose form her as she handed it."

[stablest-elements]

She laughed humorlessly. "Johnny, don't lie."

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

"I’m sure he remembered your anniversary," John said watching his mother cutting flowers form the garden.

[stablest-elements]

"I'm not worried about it, John," Clarice murmured. Of course she was, but not because she wouldn't get flowers or an especially fancy dinner.

She worried because it meant one more piece of him had gone.

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

"Mmm?"

[stablest-elements]

She opened her moth and then leaned over, kissing her father's cheek sweetly. "I love you, Papa." She uncurled herself from the chair, hugged him again, and slipped out of the room.

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

He smiled, dipping his brush back into the paint.  ”Not for all the gold in Solomon’s treasury.”

[stablest-elements]

Adele pulled up another chair and curled in it, watching him paint mostly in silence for once.

"Papa?"

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

"Isnt your mother worth her weight in gold?"

[stablest-elements]

She giggled and squeezed him. "What about me, Papa? Would you trade my weight in gold for me?"

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

"I’m sure we can think of something.  Something gold…?"

[stablest-elements]

"Why does it need to be gold?"

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

He patted her hand.  ”Adele…”  He sighed.  ”Would you like to be wearing Mama’s necklace in the picture?”

[stablest-elements]

"Then what would Mama wear?" She rested her chin on the top of his head as they studied it together.

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

She nodded. She kissed her mother’s cheek and went to find her father again. He was still in his studio, repainting the floor in the portrait were he had started to pen their names in In gold ink.

[stablest-elements]

She tilted her head to one side. Then she came up behind him and hugged him gently around the middle. "It's pretty, Papa."

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

"What happened to her?"

[stablest-elements]

Clarice sighed. "She died a long time ago."

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

She leaned into her, nodding sikently.

[stablest-elements]

"Mischa was your daddy's baby sister. They were close like that. And sometimes..." She stroked Adele's hair. "Sometimes he just misses her, honey."

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

"Did he want me to be named Mischa? Dose he hate my name?"

[stablest-elements]

"Of course not, baby." She kissed the top of her daughter's head. "You know how close you and Johnny are? How he's so protective of you?"

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

Her lip wobbled. "Be...because he's d - doing a family portrait and he - he put 'Mischa' as my middle name!"

Adele's middle name was Margaret.

[stablest-elements]

Clarice barely managed to hide her frown. She kissed Adele's cheek. "It's okay, baby. He hasn't been feeling himself lately. He'll fix it."

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

For the next few weeks John cooked with his father and walked him him just to make sure he was level again. While it was more extreme than normal he was lulled back into thinking that perhaps overreacting for the first time in his life was just his father’s immediate response.

It seemed all was well until Adele went to her mother snuffling. “Papa hates me dosent he?!”

[stablest-elements]

They had settled rather uneasily back into an ordinary routine...or they had tried.

"No, baby, of course he doesn't," Clarice said, almost with a laugh. "Why would you think that?"

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

He stroked the back of her head, letting her cry and cling to him. How could he explain that if this were to go on—She would loose him anyway. “No more tears Clarice. No more.”

[stablest-elements]

Her head already hurt. She held tightly to him even after her tears had dried up. Like her son, her fear and sorrow was replaced by resolve.

She wouldn't lose him.

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

His brow knit. “I have always needed you Clarice. Your my wife. You are my muse and my partner. None of this I could achieve until you were there, the water to seedlings. Always know that.”

[stablest-elements]

"Then stay with me," she pleaded. somewhere in the depths of her mind she heard her father say: Can't nobody stay, Baby. She tried not to hear it. "Let me be selfish for a while."

[stablest-elements]

Forgetting

[i-happened]

He let her kiss him, but pulled hee away gently, his hands cupping her face. “And when it’s no longer me?”

[stablest-elements]

"Then maybe you'll finally need me, Dr. Lecter," she whispered, but there was no humor in the tease. Only sadness.