Why I Did It..
I get asked that question from time to time, “Why did you do it?”. Somehow in this series of events I was no longer the victim in the eyes of the people who mattered the most to me at one point. The question I keep asking myself everyday is “Why do you care anymore?” I shouldn’t. I should have let that go a long time ago. I will always be missing a piece of me and it won’t be from the attacker that everyone is so used to by now. My new seen attacker is even more unpredictable than my first, only this time it’s my own Mother. Who would have thought that the person who gave you life, the person who was supposed to protect me, shield me, and love me the most could manipulate, and almost destroy me? I grew up blaming it on Him. My Mom was never at fault in my eyes, until I had a child of my own. I have an innocent, helpless, full of hope child. She is my mini-me. She looks up to me to care for her, protect her, and most of all to love her. Everyday I am teaching her, guiding her, and showing her right from wrong. I am also showing her how to stand up for herself, and to not let anyone blind her from reality. “Actions Speak louder Than Words”, I live by this. I hold people to this in everyday life, because at the end of the day what you do means more than what you say. To answer your question I Did It because my Mother manipulated me into thinking she was the victim when she wasn’t even around for the event that took place. She lied to me, and played on my emotions knowing that I was homesick, and vulnerable. To this day she is still married to, living with, socializing, and conspiring with my attacker.