standupYs

What is standupYs?! This is my forum for ALL women. I want us to all standupYs (wise) and advance in the workforce and in the home. As a 28 year old professional, I share my story with you...

[standupys]

Wine ≠ Panty Dropper

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go to Lake Geneva with my boyfriend.  We had a wonderful weekend, and as we were coming back to our hotel from dinner, we took a stroll through the hotel gift shop.  The first thing I noticed when we entered the gift shop was the below advertisement.  

What does this even mean?!  "If he brings the Rutherford Hill, it's a yes."  I can only assume that with this beautiful blondes smoldering eyes and pouty lips that this advertisement is sexually charged (or my mind is in the gutter). So if he shows up with a bottle of this type of wine panties will drop?!  Will you marry him?!  What exactly is this woman saying, "yes," to?  I find this advertisement extremely offensive.  I cannot imagine that I am the only one.  What does everyone think?! 

[yummyinmytumbly]

Skinny Banana Pudding Trifle

[standupys]

Yes please

[yummyinmytumbly]

Lemon Raspberry Plum Galettes

[standupys]

Yummmmm

[standupys]

So you're buying a house?

From all that I have heard, buying a house is a nightmare.  If it's anything like buying a car, I want no part of it!  When my friend recently told me about her experience, she commented that she had a, "standupYs worthy post."  I love it. 

In the purchase of her house, the banking institution has been e-mailing her fiancé, with a CC to her.  How rude!  The institution is often even leaving her off the e-mail communications.  Why isn't the e-mail addressed to BOTH parties?  She has as much skin in the game as he does.  What a blow to the system that says, "Yes, you are a woman.  We (the bank) will assume that the man is taking the lead and fronting the bill."  

My challenge to my friend.  She needs to address the situation and ensure that she her name means just as much as his (fiancé).  

You've gotta fight.  For your right.  To be a woman.  

[standupys]

I'm a Barbie girl

Have you heard?! Barbie has a new gig, entrepreneur Barbie! It is about time.  Mattel recently released their, "I Can Be," line of dolls, which includes Barbie holding positions as: a vet, skier, doctor, president, actress, etc.  I must have missed scientist, geologist, and writer Barbie.

In any event, it was nice to see that Mattel is expanding its' line to include REAL professional careers for young women to aspire to.  While entrepreneur Barbie did not get the highest accolades, at least we are moving forward.  

Putting Barbie in a pink dress with every "smart" accessory imaginable was not the best portrayal of an entrepreneur.  I don't care that her outfit was designed by graduates of FIT and FIDIM (fashion schools).  That is not what an entrepreneur looks like.  

Let's encourage our young girls and women to be the best they can be.  That a, "fashionista," is not a career.  

That you need to support yourself and have confidence.   

[standupys]

48 Hours

                                      No, I am not referring to the show.   I am referring to what I have heard in the last 48 hours that has upset me. 

Tonight several female coworkers and I discussed the 40-50 year old males that we work with at our employer.  We discussed their often inappropriate comments about women, when with women.  We talked about the inappropriate relationships they have had, and the lack of internal female support and leadership.  My heart dropped when my coworker, several years younger than me said, "you get used to it."  In my mind, I really have not done my job as a mentor, or a woman frankly, to help "protect" this new generation of workers.  When will this stop?  Why do we keep making excuses for these men and not standing up?  You do not "get used to it."  The fact is, I have never "gotten used to" the things men have said to me in the workplace that are inappropriate, demeaning, and unacceptable.   

Yesterday, when I spoke with a male coworker about advancing in the workforce, he broke it down for me into something I could completely understand.  He said, "There is no one that has taken your path.  You are the only woman in your role.  It is very easy for the male leaders to see the next male leader, because they see the man that did it two years before him.  There is no female leader to compare you to."  WOW.  How true.  A light bulb went off for me when he said that.  This boys club needs to stop.  

I am also reminded of when my boss said to me, "You can shop at Nordstrom more when you get promoted."  Really?!  How about paying off my student loans, car, getting out of debt, etc.  We have heard it 1,000 times ladies.  And, "Lean In," tells us again.  Men advance based on their potential to lead, and women advance based on their past accomplishments."  How do we break down this wall? 

How discouraging is it when a female high school student that has enough to deal with (failing a math class, coming from an impoverished neighborhood, struggling to get by) asks the question, "How do you advance in your career as a woman?"  If she is asking this question already, she either sees "it" or knows "it" exists.  I wish I was more wise in high school to ask that question.  But I wish no woman ever had to.  

In the past 48 hours I have been reminded on several occasions that I am a woman…and women still have so far to go.

[standupys]

The Naked Truth

The Wolf of Wall Street was a great movie with A LOT of nudity.  Did I say a lot?  I meant…A TON. Don't get me wrong, I am no prude, but this is the most nudity I have ever seen in an R-rated movie.  

What was disturbing was the lack of male genital nudity, and the abundance of female genital nudity.  The male genitalia is nowhere near as beautiful as the female body, but that doesn't mean that there shouldn't be a penis thrown in here and there.  And not a prosthetic one.  

Why must we keep objectifying women, and not also display the male body?  

It takes two to tango. 

[standupys]

Man and Wife

"I now pronounce you man and wife."

Perhaps you, like me, need an escape and enjoy reality TV.  Perhaps you were one of the thousands of people that watched, "The Bachelor," wedding last night.  Did you notice anything?  My mom did.  Why did Sean's dad say (the officiant of the wedding), "man and wife," and not, "husband and wife?"

I understand tradition, but when you follow that sentence up with, "you may kiss your bride/the bride," it is a gentle reminder of that power that men have traditionally been given.  Did I mention the tradition is to take the man's name?  

This blog is not meant to pass judgement on anyone that is married or had a traditional wedding, but to inspire us to choose our words carefully.  To think before we speak.  And to consider how we sound when we deliver a message.  

We are stronger than yesterday. 

[standupys]

Proud to be a Woman

"The book is about self confidence and equality.  We live in a world where women need self confidence, because the world tells us we are not equivalent to men." (Sheryl Sandberg)

I WILL have leadership and VOICE.  More WOMEN.  More VOICE.  More EQUALITY.  

I am NOT bossy.  I am CONFIDENT.  

[standupys]

Proud to be a Woman

"The book is about self confidence and equality.  We live in a world where women need self confidence, because the world tells us we are not equivalent to men." (Sheryl Sandberg)

I WILL have leadership and VOICE.  More WOMEN.  More VOICE.  More EQUALITY.  

I am NOT bossy.  I am CONFIDENT.  

[standupys]

Full Circle

Mentorship cannot be assigned.  If you have read the book, "Lean In," you know that mentorship is a connection, a bond.  A mentor sees something in someone and wants to help them succeed and advance to the next level both personally and professionally.  

I was asked to be a mentor at the end of 2013 and what an honor it was.  My mentee from years ago reached out and wanted to connect again.  It is an honor to be someone's mentor.  

Our relationship has come full circle.  We started years ago with an assigned mentorship (as she was an intern), and now we have grown into a friendship, mentoring relationship, and positive women power united front.  

Today we got lunch and she reminded me just how important it is not only for me to be a mentor to her, but for US to learn from one another.  I have the ability to help shape her career and ensure she has a positive influence on society and her role within the company.  She has the ability to teach me how to be a better person and coach others like her.  

Maybe it sounds like I am taking this "too seriously," but I think it is the biggest honor to be sought out as a leader for women in the organization.  

When you think you are having a bad day or want to give up, remember that you are someone's inspiration and someone is watching you grow.  

[standupys]

Girls

Have you seen the show, "Girls" on HBO?  I think this is the, "Sex and the City" of 2013/2014 with real, relatable stories.  As I watch the show and think of my life at 24, and heck, even now, I realize that life ebbs and flows.  

Having a positive disposition is critical to living a healthy, happy, and safe life. On Friday, the day which should start the weekend on a positive note, my wallet was stolen.  I could not be more frustrated with myself, society, and all people.  How could someone do this?  Why me?  I am determined to catch this person/stop the operation.  I have one of the people on video that used my CC number and it is being turned in to the police.  Don't mess with me. 

The days to follow turned out to be some of the best days spent with loved ones.  I would be lying if I said I didn't think about my wallet during that time, but spending time with family makes you realize what really matters.   

Throughout life we will be dealt different hands.  Some good, some bad.  The key is how you react to those hands.  

I work hard for what I have.  Great relationships, things I own, etc.  I am going to hold my possessions and loved ones a little tighter going forward. There are bad guys everywhere.  Stay safe everyone and keep smiling. 

[standupys]

Is there a doctor in the house?!

What do you think of when you see the above photo?  Who is the dentist? Can you tell?  Let me help you.  It is the man in the middle of a group of beautiful women.  

Would you see this dentist?  Does this advertisement compell you to get off the couch and schedule your appointment with this dental practice?   

I remember going to the orthodontist in junior high and thinking, "Wow.  Every one of the orthodontic assistants is beautiful."  The image is eerily similar to the one you see above.  

What I have done in the past few years, is only see women doctors (with the exception of my male dentist that is a dear family friend).  I switched my GP, dermatologist, etc.  My gynecologist is a female.  

Don't get me wrong, if it's the right doctor for you, it's the right doctor.  I had my LASIK done by a man, a minor surgery done by a man, my dentist is a man, etc.  I get it.  

But next time you go to the doctor, think of what the conversation would be like if it were with a woman.  How can we support women in yet another male-dominated field: the healthcare profession.  

Start 2014 by supporting women in all capacities.  Not just business. 

[tedx]

Beyoncé, a.k.a. goddess among mortals slash queen of everything, dropped a surprise album this morning — and guess what? She sampled a TEDx Talk! One of our favorites, actually. It’s a killer talk by author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie about gender and femaleness and why we should all be feminists. You can hear the excerpt above in the second verse of ”***Flawless,” bookended by Beyoncé reminding you that she can own it. TEDxEuston, FTW.

Read more » Watch Adichie’s talk here »

[standupys]

Manly Manners

Being in sales you always have to be, "on."  Whether it is at the office, at the holiday function, or at the grocery store, you never know who your next client or employer could be.  First impressions are critical.

In the last month I have had the opportunity to meet many individuals simply by being a social butterfly.  I meet people at the local watering hole, the grocery story, retail shops, etc.  With a partner by my side that is just as chatty as me (if not more), we are bound to make friends wherever we go. 

Why then, do the men we meet not ask what I do for a living, but ask my partner's profession?  Why do they not shake my hand, and instead give me a wave when I am within arms length?  Is my way of making a living not as significant as my partners?  Is he [partner] assumed to be the bread winner?  

I don't know the answers to any of these questions, but I encourage you to share your story here and tell me how you addressed the situation.  

I ask each of you as you start your week tomorrow, start it with intention.  Start it with etiquette.  No one is more important than another.  

Start with a smile, a firm handshake, and a warm heart. 

[standupys]

The One Dating Rule you Need to Know

              Rule One.  You MUST date someone that understands your desire to support yourself.

I have been on many a dates, dated many a men, and I have been doing it all wrong the last few years.  Until now.  

It is very easy as a woman to not accept praise, or toot our own horns when we are deserving of it.  Last July, something changed for me and I met by biggest fan.  A man that continues to push me and applaud my successes.  A man that encourages me to work hard, harder even.  He is my partner.  

Depending on who you are and what you do, this story might be different for you.  I don't consider myself to have low self esteem, but I have previously dated men that brought me down.  They brought me down for working hard, while in the same breath calling me a "sugar mama" and thanking me for earning more money and buying us dinner that night.  

Find a partner that is secure with themselves, and will push you further to be a better you.  If you are in a negative relationship and you are not being supported for your work ethic, or anything for that matter, get out and know that you deserve better.

At the end of the day, all you have is yourself.  Love yourself and be the woman/man that you want someone to love.

Happy Dating!

[standupys]

What does standupYs mean?!

standupYs (pronounced stand up wise) is a call to action for both my female and male friends, family, colleagues, and followers.  

In order for the X (female) chromosome's world to change and make it an even playing field, it takes a strong Y (male) to realize that they too can be the change that the world needs.  

"Generation Y is much less likely to respond to the traditional command-and-control type of management still popular in much of today's workforce," says Jordan Kaplan, an associate managerial science professor at Long Island University-Brooklyn in New York. "They've grown up questioning their parents, and now they're questioning their employers. They don't know how to shut up, which is great, but that's aggravating to the 50-year-old manager who says, 'Do it and do it now.' "

The above except was taken from USATODAY.com.

How many of you under age 30 can relate to the above?!  How do we as Gen. Y individuals both convey our message, while remaining empathetic to the different approaches of Gen. X and the Baby Boomer generation?

There is no easy answer to how we make change.  What I do know, is that it needs to happen now.  Ask yourself before you go back to work Monday, "Am I doing all that I can to ensure a healthy and fair environment for: myself, my family, my children, my coworkers, and future generations?"