Property of Stanley

🪣

[stanleysreassurancebucket]

can we learn your backstory bucket

[thecoolnarrator]

You all may be wondering how several characters from hit video games, The Stanley Parable and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe, happened to find their way onto failing social media website, Tumblr.com. Well, you see, the woman who runs that "catgirl-kaiju" blog? Scout? She actually found us on a haunted USB drive that she foolishly plugged into her home computer, unleashing us into the real world, just like in the 2004 live action film "Fat Albert".

Haha, gotcha! Tumblr isn't the real world! This isn't anything like "Fat Albert", you rube! Why would you ever think something like "Fat Albert" could happen? I bet you feel pretty foolish now!

[onlyreblogsprobablyfornow]

What is this elaborate ARG setup? Anyway, I love it -- eagerly awaiting meeting the bucket as I browse tumblr

[stanleysreassurancebucket]

hi

[catgirl-kaiju]

But, even though Stanley had stopped playing the game, the narrator decided to follow him to his Tumblr dash, the least likely place Stanley, the narrator, or anyone else of good taste and sound mind would find themselves.

Stanley then found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1.

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 9, 2025

[catgirl-kaiju]

"Oh no!" thought Stanley, "I've chosen Option 2 by mistake! It's a shame I can't change my vote on Tumblr polls."

But, as luck would have it, the next post was a second posting of the same poll! Second chances don't come along every day, Stanley was just that lucky. He moved his mouse over to the poll, confident in his choice. His path was clear. Redemption was only a click away.

Stanley chose Option 1

Option 1 (Awesome)

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 12, 2025

[catgirl-kaiju]

Stanley, I really don't understand what you're getting out of continuing to ruin my stories outside of the game. There's no alternate endings for you to unlock, no achievements for you to get. What compells you to-

Wait... oh! Yes! I think I see what the problem is here! You don't know for sure that it's really me, your friend, The Narrator! I'm sure if you knew that it was really me, and not this woman whose blog I'm posting from, you'd trust me enough to take my directions. A simple communication problem!

Just give me a moment, Stanley, and we'll get this all sorted out!

[thecoolnarrator]

There we go! See, Stanley! It's me! Your friend, The Narrator!

Now that we've got that sorted out, let's take things from the top!

This is a story about a man named Stanley. Stanley was scrolling on his Tumblr dashboard one day, searching for something worthy of wasting his precious time, when he found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 13, 2025

[thecoolnarrator]

...

Stanley, I thought we had something... I thought after all these years you'd learn to trust me. Are we even friends?

Stanley, if we're friends, choose Option 1

Option 2

Option 1

Voting ended onJan 14, 2025

[stanleystrustworthybestie]

I really think you should choose Option 1, Stanley!

[stanleysreassurancebucket]

I can assure you that Option 1 is the way to go, Stanley!

[thecoolnarrator]

I know they're your friends at least, Stanley. Why not listen to your friends? We only want what's best for you, Stanley.

[thecoolnarrator]

Well... at least I know where we stand, Stanley...

...

Who needs to be friends anyway...

I'm sure it's just as nice being familiar, but emotionally distant, coworkers who may seem like friends at the office, but don't even go out to the pub together after their shift. Come to think of it, I don't even know you that well.

It sometimes feels as though you are some kind of bland, blank slate who other people can easily project personality traits onto, despite having few to no discernable traits yourself. Almost as if there are potentially hundreds or thousands of different versions of "Stanley" that exist purely within the minds of others, despite there being nothing but a featureless husk that stands before us. Is "Stanley" nothing more than a mere shadow on a simulated rendering of a wall in a meticulously constructed game taking place within a fictional cave full of robots and talking rabbits?

That can't be true, can it? Surely you must have some interiority.

Yes, I'm sure of it! There must be something resembling a personality rattling around in there. Perhaps if I came to know you better, we could truly become friends!

Oh, how does one get to know other people better? Let me see...

...

Ah ha! Yes! Yes, I think this will do the trick!

Stanley, I'm going to ask you a series of questions designed dig deep into the human psyche; to unlock the truths at the root of your being. I will be uncovering the very essence of "Stanley" locked tight within you. Perhaps you can even come to know yourself better as I glimpse the very shape of your soul. Are you ready? My first question is:

Stanley, what is your favourite colour?

Red

Orange

Yellow

Green

Blue

Purple

Black

Brown

White

Grey

Pink

Option 1

Voting ended onJan 22, 2025

I'll give you plenty of time to think about your answer. After all, you've got to dig deep within yourself, Stanley.

[catgirl-kaiju]

But, even though Stanley had stopped playing the game, the narrator decided to follow him to his Tumblr dash, the least likely place Stanley, the narrator, or anyone else of good taste and sound mind would find themselves.

Stanley then found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1.

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 9, 2025

[catgirl-kaiju]

"Oh no!" thought Stanley, "I've chosen Option 2 by mistake! It's a shame I can't change my vote on Tumblr polls."

But, as luck would have it, the next post was a second posting of the same poll! Second chances don't come along every day, Stanley was just that lucky. He moved his mouse over to the poll, confident in his choice. His path was clear. Redemption was only a click away.

Stanley chose Option 1

Option 1 (Awesome)

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 12, 2025

[catgirl-kaiju]

Stanley, I really don't understand what you're getting out of continuing to ruin my stories outside of the game. There's no alternate endings for you to unlock, no achievements for you to get. What compells you to-

Wait... oh! Yes! I think I see what the problem is here! You don't know for sure that it's really me, your friend, The Narrator! I'm sure if you knew that it was really me, and not this woman whose blog I'm posting from, you'd trust me enough to take my directions. A simple communication problem!

Just give me a moment, Stanley, and we'll get this all sorted out!

[thecoolnarrator]

There we go! See, Stanley! It's me! Your friend, The Narrator!

Now that we've got that sorted out, let's take things from the top!

This is a story about a man named Stanley. Stanley was scrolling on his Tumblr dashboard one day, searching for something worthy of wasting his precious time, when he found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 13, 2025

[thecoolnarrator]

...

Stanley, I thought we had something... I thought after all these years you'd learn to trust me. Are we even friends?

Stanley, if we're friends, choose Option 1

Option 2

Option 1

Voting ended onJan 14, 2025

[stanleystrustworthybestie]

I really think you should choose Option 1, Stanley!

[stanleysreassurancebucket]

I can assure you that Option 1 is the way to go, Stanley!

[catgirl-kaiju]

But, even though Stanley had stopped playing the game, the narrator decided to follow him to his Tumblr dash, the least likely place Stanley, the narrator, or anyone else of good taste and sound mind would find themselves.

Stanley then found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1.

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 9, 2025

[catgirl-kaiju]

"Oh no!" thought Stanley, "I've chosen Option 2 by mistake! It's a shame I can't change my vote on Tumblr polls."

But, as luck would have it, the next post was a second posting of the same poll! Second chances don't come along every day, Stanley was just that lucky. He moved his mouse over to the poll, confident in his choice. His path was clear. Redemption was only a click away.

Stanley chose Option 1

Option 1 (Awesome)

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 12, 2025

[catgirl-kaiju]

Stanley, I really don't understand what you're getting out of continuing to ruin my stories outside of the game. There's no alternate endings for you to unlock, no achievements for you to get. What compells you to-

Wait... oh! Yes! I think I see what the problem is here! You don't know for sure that it's really me, your friend, The Narrator! I'm sure if you knew that it was really me, and not this woman whose blog I'm posting from, you'd trust me enough to take my directions. A simple communication problem!

Just give me a moment, Stanley, and we'll get this all sorted out!

[thecoolnarrator]

There we go! See, Stanley! It's me! Your friend, The Narrator!

Now that we've got that sorted out, let's take things from the top!

This is a story about a man named Stanley. Stanley was scrolling on his Tumblr dashboard one day, searching for something worthy of wasting his precious time, when he found a poll. A powerful poll. A poll with two options that were so incredibly enticing that he struggled to make up his mind.

However, ultimately, he chose Option 1

Option 1

Option 2

Voting ended onJan 13, 2025

[nightmarechamillian]

Perhaps Stanley could be enticed into picking option one by some sort of consequence for his inability to differentiate the correct button from the incorrect one

[stanleysreassurancebucket]

I disagree, I think Stanley just needs to be more assured that if he picks the correct button, something nice will happen for him!