Lost

[staplewire]

Parang burden na burden

[staplewire]

Pagod na lang rin

[staplewire]

I just feel so so lost

[staplewire]

Mahal ko pero pagod na ko makaramdam saka magisip.

Nung una, sinubukan kong icommunicate palagi pero nagiging toxic naman for him. Narerelease ko at nagaan ang loob ko pero siya nabibigatan. Laging nagsisimula daw ng away, Insecure daw, naghahanap ng mali, hindi nakakaappreciate. Naiintindihan ko naman siya, sino ba naman may gusto ng negativity sa buhay nila. Ngayon, nawawalan lang ako ng gana sa pagkikimkim para maging okay siya sa amin.

Selfish and toxic, pero nakakadrain yung ganito. Kakayanin ko kaya na ganito ako pangmatagalan, kung siya na talaga? Gusto ko lang naman sumaya. Ayoko rin naman siya ikulong sa ganito, baka may tao na mas makakapagpasaya sa kanya genuinely na hindi ako.

[staplewire]

Gusto ko na mag move onnnn

[staplewire]

I just want to sleep and I just want to cry now

[staplewire]

help youre starting to become ordinary

[staplewire]

Nauubos na

[staplewire]

I just feel really unwanted. I want this feeling to stop. I want to just not care and go with the flow.

[staplewire]

Whenever I see how much my parents would do for me, my heart warms and it feels guilt. All the things that I have done behind their back and settling for treatments I do not deserve.

[staplewire]

I just feel extremely tired

[stuckinapril]

i’d say the best thing i have learned this year is to just let people be who they naturally are. no psychoanalyzing them, no overthinking my actions, no asking what i could possibly do to keep their presence in my life. i just bring my best self to the table and always move from a place of love and respect. how that person responds is ultimately up to them. if that causes them to exit my life, i just let it happen. i will never be in the business of changing people. people are only ever ready to change when they’ve made the conscious decision to. all i can do is check myself and be kind always.

[staplewire]

I cant even explain how painful it is to lose my dog.

[staplewire]

Interactive tumblr is good

[staplewire]

My dog is sick. I need someone

[staplewire]

Feeling ko talaga hindi kami tatagal.

Nagstastay lang siya saken kasi wala siyang ginagawa. Pero ngayon magkakaron na. I guess I'll prepare my heart.

He denies it. He tells me na masaya daw siya, na wala siyang problema sa akin. Pero nararamdaman ko naman eh, sa galaw niya. Onti onti na siyang nawawalan ng gana. Tinatamad minsan, inuuna kaibigan, inuuna laro. I understant that we have our own lives pero i feel it in my gut.

I keep trying to tell myself that he's a good guy, he won't hurt me. He assures me whenever I ask for it. Pero I somehow feel and know it in my heart, na at some point he'll get tired.

[staplewire]

Di makasundo kasi pagod pero pupunta sa tropa hahaha galing lods