don't mind the tags, this was included in the terms of my bet😔 this is just some random ranty writing I did, not my usual sturniolo content ik, and I'm gonna take it down soon, BUT I needed to prove a point to my friend 🙏anything to win a bet ONGGGG🙏
also, if you guys like this for some reason, check out my actual blog for this kind of stuff!! @solarstorm-heart
Do you believe that those strangely meaningful dreams are glimpses of our past lives?
I, for one, hope it's true, for it would mean that some version of me in the past held you, and was held by you in turn. It would mean I loved you as you loved me. It would mean I was happy, at least once.
I had a dream last night that you were my lover. We were with others, we were alone, we were apart, we were together. We were happy. We fought. We made up. We loved one another as though we were each other's sun.
I don't know your name, I don't know your voice. I don't even remember your face. Every single identifying detail of you faded with the last clinging vestiges of sleep as I awoke.
And I am left consumed by the ache of a lost love that never existed, bereft and desperately grasping at false wisps of imagination.
But I remember how you felt, how you held me, how you laughed. I remember how I loved you and how you made me feel as though my chest was given wings to fly to you. I remember how we shifted toward each other unconsciously whenever we were together, like magnets - or perhaps more like taffy, melted together and refusing to be seperated, sticky and sweet. I remember how I was drawn to you inexplicably the first time I saw you. I remember how your name always tasted perfect on my tongue and lips, like my favourite candy.
I remember the tiny details, the habits you had, the way you liked your coffee, the way you loved the sunlight filtering in through thin white curtains, the way your grin was always just slightly lop-sided, the way you could never be serious unless you were mad, the way your arms felt around me, the way you always sat on my right, the way you brightened up when I walked into the room, the way you ran cool but still warmed my life, the way everyone who knew you loved you a little, and the way you made me glow.
Most important of all, I think, I remember you.
I don't remember your appearance, nothing that helps me envision anything in my mind beyond a rough shape [taller than me, slightly broader, radiant] but I remember everything about you that made me fall in love. I remember how you were so much like me and yet my complete opposite. I know everything about you, better than I’ve ever known anyone, even myself.
You are nothing but a figment of my imagination, a figure in my dream whom I will never meet. But I loved you. I love you. And I suspect I will keep loving you until you fade with the remnants of my failing memory.
I can only hope with all I am that you will embrace me each night as I fall into the abyss of sleep, and grant me that brief solace of warmth and joy. Love me. I beg of you.
Please allow me to love in return, my faceless darling.
anyways yeah, hope you enjoyed, I wrote this all in like ten minutes in a craze because I woke up from a beautiful dream lonely and hurting over an imaginary man 😔😔i need a bf man...
