my spotify playlist masterlist for all your quarantine needs
for when it’s past midnight and you need to dance to something trashy and pop
for when you can’t remember why you are still here
for rainy nights where you think too deeply
for when you’re only fifty percent human and the other fifty percent is something more feral and monstrous
for anxiety attacks and breakdowns
for when you only want to listen to sad white men singing about sad things
for when you’re drinking soda and the bubbles make your nose tingle
for when you’re walking on an uneven pavement and the sun is beating down your neck
for simultaneous crying and bopping
for when one more sad song might make you scream
for your bruised and tender soul
for pretending you’re in an upbeat indie electropop band with your three best friends and you’re all gay
for unconventional alternative love songs
for when you need a reminder of what living feels like because everything feels grey
for pretending you can afford all the things you added to your cart on sephora
for when you’re breaking your own heart
for drifting off into another world at night
for when you’re feeling stuck but also hopeful but also tired but also excited
for when you need your heartbeat to slow back down
for believing in love again
for daydreaming on a hillside under a soft sunset
for when you realize she has the most beautiful smile and looking at it hurts
for when you need the warmest coziest hug
for feeling as small as dust and as infinite as the universe, all at once
for when your heart needs to feel soft and easy and happy
for seeing the person you’re in love with and realizing you need to let them go and start moving on
for when you feel like you’ve been set on fire
for putting on makeup in the morning even though it feels like there’s no point but also you just want to look really fucking cute for no reason
for when you need to be eased into pulling yourself together
for summer days laying outside on your front lawn daydreaming about lemonade
for pretending you’re a depressed mermaid who lives in the arctic ocean
for when you’re daydreaming about the future so that you can forget for a moment how unhappy you are
for being transported back to 2012 when you were trashy and emo and cringey as hell
for staring in the mirror in the dark and thinking about the experience of womanhood
for punching walls and smashing people’s heads in
for cutting fruit to make into a cobbler because fuck you want to eat something cozy and comforting then
for when things are … not going quite how you thought they would
for when your life feels like an actual movie and you need to soundtrack it
for unwinding from a stressful day
for when you feel like a ghost running through a forest while it’s raining and foggy
for when you actually yell back for the first time and the adrenaline pumps through your blood
for when it’s raining outside and you’re staring out the window longing to run in the rain but instead you’re stuck inside
for feeling like you’re right inside of a black hole
for when you’re anxiety says something stupid to you and for once you know it’s wrong and you fight back
for when you need to feel bigger than what you are in that moment
for when you put your trust in someone and you’re terrified
for feeling inexplicably sad and upset and lonely
for knowing it’s okay to cry
for when it’s late at night and you can’t stop thinking about him
for haunting unholy songs that help you pretend that you’re a demon
for breathing properly, just when it feels like you’ll never be able to again
for feeling unformed and unfinished and unknown
for almost being at peace but something is nagging at you
for just really needing to hear james blake’s voice
for when you love someone so much but you can’t talk to them because the words don’t come out
for being a teenager at the fucking-things-up-and-breaking-rules stage of a coming-of-age film
for feeling lonely and you need someone to tell you you’re sexy but no one’s around so you have to convince yourself you’re sexy by dancing to stripper music at 3am in your bathroom mirror
for being so in love that no one else matters
for when you’re in your twenties, finally stable, and you feel like you missed out on what your teen years could have been, so you decide to start trying to live what you missed
for when it’s too much and you need to run away
for being in love with someone who is so kind and patient and gentle
for when you stumble across @subwayhands on instagram and theres a video of a couple holding hands and hes tapping his thumb against hers and it’s so private and intimate and loving and you’re suddenly so lonely you almost throw up
for when you have a crush and your heart is feeling bubbly and light
for when you feel like a pirate roaming the seas, where the only thing on your mind is adventure, and the open ocean washes away your worries
