Oh, Hello on Broadway Sentence Starters
“Charmed I’m sure, I’m _____.”
“Theater is the hot, new thing right now.”
“We’re filming this as a special for Investigation Discovery.”
“But we like to joke that ____ is the master of fun.”
“How can I describe the kind of vibe we give off?”
“You know when you walk by a travel agency, and you’re like, ‘what?’”
“I’m the type of man you would catch at a party going through the coats.”
“Each death learning from and improving upon the death before it.”
“I am a Tony Award viewing actor.”
“It’s a cold wrap, a warm Sierra Mist.”
“He wouldn’t let me sulk for one single second.”
“We started doing heroin that afternoon.”
“It was inspired by, and directly stolen from.”
“Who’s that? Who’s that guy?”
“When a famous person dies, blame the year, and make it about you.”
“We come out with bowler hats on. We take them off, we got two tuna sandwiches on our heads.”
“It was like— hey, shut the door— it was like…”
“Have you fucking tried dealing with the Shubert Organization?”
“They have everything at this place. Old props, old costumes, the cast of Newsies huddled over a flaming garbage can.”
“Which the city of New York informs us is a massive fire hazard.”
“Why he wore a dress to make a phone call, we will never know.”
“Perhaps you didn’t have time before the show to eat at Guy Fieri’s Great American Garbage Fire.”
“Her head ended up where?”
“That guy is sick as a dick!”
“Do you wanna know why? Do you wanna know why, ___? Because I could not afford Adobe Photoshop!”
“Alright, we’re having a nice time, so…”
“Oh waiter? I’ll have one more root beer, please.”
“Not in life, or in the play, ever put your nail in between my nail, in my fingie meat.”
“For real, don’t ever do that again. For real.”
“What are we? Two characters with different perspectives?”
“Twenty-five hundred dollars for a measly five-bedroom with office, crown molding, and fireplace?”
“___, is there a— fucking wait!”
“Are we on the same team?”
“Good news comes in thin envelopes.”
“Boy, that guy’s going back to Chinatown.”
“My father’s in a pitch black room drinking whiskey, and we are not allowed in there.”
“On one hand, I was sad my mother killed herself, but on the other hand, I was happy it was my birthday.”
“I’ll go banana bread on you, and it’ll be too dry to swallow!”
“You need to lose like, seven pounds.”
“I’m at Columbia University— as a trespasser.”
“Fun fact: I’m the only guy to get kicked out of a cult for being too into it.”
“Watch out, raccoons, they’ll steal your food, but next thing you know, they’ll steal your heart.”
“First off, we do not have the rights to Bill Joel’s ‘Movin’ Out.’“
“You’re God’s born loser, you know that?”
“No. No escape. Hey— no, no!”
“You know what? Our game show where contestants had to guess what you knew?”
“And the one time that guy guessed it, I lied.”
“The menu is like nineteen pages long, and even though it’s a diner, it has stuff like lobster on it.”
“Could I get a 1970′s coffee? So watery, and grey, and a gun next to it on the table.”
“And they don’t at all get a huge fucking tuna comeuppance.”
“Thank you for that measured compliment.”
“Did Jews not control the world of art?”
“When I realized card tricks were actually a trick, I said there must be no God.”
“the point is, we used to drink fish.”
“Well, we could be living in the subway tunnel if you hadn’t blown it with the mole people.”
“I hate to be the first to say it, but New York has changed.”
“The 1990′s! Mad About You, pesto sauce, O.J. Simpson breaks his 45-year no killing streak.”
“Could you imagine doing something so fucked up, there’s no more Toyota Camry?”
“But you’re Jewish and she’s a raccoon!”
“It’s just— I’ve never had money before, and I want some.”
“Could you get me a Ferraro Roche chocolate? Or a Lindt Lindor Truffle? My favorite flavor is blue.”
“I need you to go to Just Salad, at like, one P.M. when they’re at their busiest, and just get online and be like ‘now let’s see, how does this work?’“
“Will you go to the Magnolia Bakery as featured in the Sex and the City walking tour and just open fire?”
“Will you go to Long Island City, Queens? ‘Cause I won’t.”
“A look that can only be described as Pussy Safari.”
“It’s like, suddenly jewelry stores do have a bathroom I can use?”
“You got clam juiced, you white trash idiot.”
“Would you stop the Super Bowl halfway through to do a bunch of bullshit?”
“You wanted to hear how fucked up I am inside?”
“Nobody’ll say it, but Shakespeare is a fucking hack, alright?”
“Have we owned this the entire time?”
“I’m so sorry that I lied to you about a life changing voice-over opportunity, and then bullied you for forty years.”
“I’m so sorry that I really didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Oh no, that’s okay, waiter. I bring my own chair places.”
“Most of those teens only bought the book because in it, I explained how to make a bomb.”
“Oh waiter? I’ll have— well, I’ll have two root beers, please.”
2087
vaporwave
ellievsbear
