don't know if i'll be fine without you.

i'm tired of: secrets, lies, excuses. holding back, the truth is: i act like i don't care but i wish you did. you used to make me smile now you make me sick. i wish i didn't waste my time. i wish you didn't change my mind. do we have to talk about it? you know how you made me feel, right? you know that i'm lost without you. i've never felt something so real, right? remember we ran through all the lights in downtown that one night. now you're running away from the one you thought was the one, right.

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Z A R A

“i dont know.. the wings on your collarbones and the checkerboard flag is quite adorable. random, but adorable,” zara said teasingly, while reaching over and rubbing her thumb against his cheek. “hey – that might be true, but i do, in fact, know what im talking about 100% of the time with you!” zara argued, laughing afterwards. her mouth opened to reply, but before she could say anything, she felt herself getting pulled towards him and his lips against hers, which by instinct, she kissed him back passionately. 

roscoe opened his mouth to argue but only a laugh fell from his lips, shaking his head at her words. “they’re random but i got them when i was a little bit drunk.” he admitted, shrugging slightly. “well the checkerboard is, the wings were thought up when i was drunk so same thing.” he couldn’t bother arguing anymore, simply wanting to feel her lips for as long as he possibly could. they hadn’t been together for too long, but something about zara made him feel like he was on a high --- even when he didn’t have pot in his system. and then suddenly he felt the need to apologize. “hey, by the way i know you said you don’t care too much but i’m sorry i was smoking when you came in. don’t really like doing it around you.”

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Z A R A

“d.. do i have to?” she asked curiously, looking at him. sure, it was a difficult situation to be in, and you would think she would need some time to herself before she went through with it, but all she wanted to do in that moment was be with him. “i mean .. i’ll go if you want me to, but if not, i’d really rather stay here,” she added along in a soft voice, almost too quiet to hear over the music coming from outside the room. it was crazy how he had her wrapped around his finger. she would do absolutely anything that she could to keep him happy. “it’s been a lonely time without you, and i’d rather not go back home right now.” 

“i want you to stay,” he nodded, rubbing at his head for a quick moment before his fingers traced over the small cut in his lip. the past two weeks he’d felt more vulnerable than ever, and though he’d told her a couple times already by now, he’d easily come to the conclusion it was because he loved her. “yeah, believe me, i know.” he chuckled, unsure if it was okay to touch her. surely it should’ve been, right? she’d said she wanted to run away with him and they were going to make it work so why was he afraid of a little touch? “z?” he mumbled, waiting for her attention to focus on him again. “i’m going to kiss you now, okay?” it’s not like he gave her much of a head’s up, because once the words left his mouth his hand was cupping her cheek and lips were passionately crashing against hers.

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V E N U S

                           a  relaxed  smile plays on her features,  letting the kiss  LINGER  on her lips for a moment.   ‘   you’re  lying   ’   she tuts,  frame  settling  in close to his.   ‘   it would have been awkward,  and you know it.   ’   talons  finding  their way to trace against his skin.  it  felt  tranquil to her,  being like this with him.  any  worries  about their relationship  diminished  in her mind.    ‘   black hair  ?  you  think  ?   ’   pondering the thought for a few moments,  surely she had  SEEN  a black wig backstage at some point  ──  distracted by the concept of  trying  it on one night before she’s  BROUGHT  back from the clouds.   ‘   what about  contact lenses  ?  what eye color could i  pull  off.   ’

                           ‘ am not. it would’ve been fine. ‘ the male stated casually, head tilting in the slightest degree as he watched the female. it found it adorable how quick she was to toss any worries out of mind just at the reassurance of his word, it was very much refreshing since usually the girls he dealt with liked to label him as a liar. maybe the femme had already trusted him far too much than she should have. but he wasn’t going to think too much about it, not wanting to kill her mood. he acted as though he were thinking hard about her question, caramel hues studying her features. ‘  what about blue ? that’s different you know, black hair with blue eyes. ‘

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whispers..... i may do some replies

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STARCRSSES IS NOW ON HIATUS

everytime i get on here i lose muse so fast so i’m taking a break from this blog. i may come back in a week or two and just completely start over, but right now i’m staying over @ @moonlightisms so feel free to come over and plot with me. i may even move a couple muses over there that i know i have muse for ( roscoe n valerie honestly ) and keep them reserved but ya. if you want me to do that just let me knowon my other blog. sorry :(((

[starcrsses]

STARCRSSES IS NOW ON HIATUS

everytime i get on here i lose muse so fast so i’m taking a break from this blog. i may come back in a week or two and just completely start over, but right now i’m staying over @ @moonlightisms so feel free to come over and plot with me. i may even move a couple muses over there that i know i have muse for ( roscoe n valerie honestly ) and keep them reserved but ya. if you want me to do that just let me knowon my other blog. sorry :(((

[starcrsses]

STARCRSSES IS NOW ON HIATUS

everytime i get on here i lose muse so fast so i’m taking a break from this blog. i may come back in a week or two and just completely start over, but right now i’m staying over @ @moonlightisms so feel free to come over and plot with me. i may even move a couple muses over there that i know i have muse for ( roscoe n valerie honestly ) and keep them reserved but ya. if you want me to do that just let me knowon my other blog. sorry :(((

[starcrsses]

STARCRSSES IS NOW ON HIATUS

everytime i get on here i lose muse so fast so i’m taking a break from this blog. i may come back in a week or two and just completely start over, but right now i’m staying over @ @moonlightisms so feel free to come over and plot with me. i may even move a couple muses over there that i know i have muse for ( roscoe n valerie honestly ) and keep them reserved but ya. if you want me to do that just let me knowon my other blog. sorry :(((

[starcrsses]

STARCRSSES IS NOW ON HIATUS

everytime i get on here i lose muse so fast so i’m taking a break from this blog. i may come back in a week or two and just completely start over, but right now i’m staying over @ @moonlightisms so feel free to come over and plot with me. i may even move a couple muses over there that i know i have muse for ( roscoe n valerie honestly ) and keep them reserved but ya. if you want me to do that just let me knowon my other blog. sorry :(((

[starcrsses]

STARCRSSES IS NOW ON HIATUS

everytime i get on here i lose muse so fast so i’m taking a break from this blog. i may come back in a week or two and just completely start over, but right now i’m staying over @ @moonlightisms so feel free to come over and plot with me. i may even move a couple muses over there that i know i have muse for ( roscoe n valerie honestly ) and keep them reserved but ya. if you want me to do that just let me knowon my other blog. sorry :(((

[beermosa-deactivated20160316]

When I say I love you more, I don’t just mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us. I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us. I love you more than any obstacle that could ever try and come between us. I love you the most.

quintessentialefflorescence (via mettamano)

@starcrsses

(via titaniuums)

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y’all i’m trash and i have little to no muse for anyone on here so basically just do things with me over here @moonlightisms bc i wanna write

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moonwtf:

out of all of their fights they had ever had, this one felt like the worst, and they were just getting into it. it was the fact she was suspecting something other than loyalty from her that hurt the most. her mouth dropped open, her only expression was hurt on her face. “what – no. we didn’t – why would you think that ? i wouldn’t do that to you .. i’m being honest. he was helping me through a problem i had – why would you think we fucked ? im your girlfriend !” she said, exclaiming the last part not like a yell, but more of a reminder. 

“yeah well i was your boyfriend when you decided i was leaving you for adelyn, so call it even.” he argued, now having a better view into her mind after accidentally reading a entry of her diary. “did you kiss him?” he continued to ask, unable to merely drop the argument before it got any worse. “what, is all of this some sort of fucking pay back for what happened last week? because that’s bullshit, z. i didn’t realize how much of a whore she was, but you dated wyatt and went skinny dipping and all this bullshit. if it’s some kind of twisted revenge then first off, pick some random guy not someone who you only left because he pissed you off.”

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zara:

zara watched him move to take a seat on the couch, not minding that the papers were there purely based on the results. if it had gone out positive, it would be a different story and she would be trying to drag him to another area in the house. she was about to ask him how he had been until he spoke again, feeling her blood run cold. he knew that he was here. how could she had been more careful ? anyone could see her eyes slightly widen from how shocked she was, looking at him. “excuse me ?” she asked quietly, watching naseem as if he could start screaming at any second. “he was just .. here helping me with something really important. i dont see the big problem here. we’re just friends.”

he’d gotten some sort of reaction from the female, taking note of every little change of her expression. “you heard me,” he muttered, arm raising to rest against the back of the couch. she was very vague about it all, only causing roscoe to suspect even more. he didn’t know why he was so bothered, as if just seeing wyatt here made something click inside him. “did you fuck him?” he doesn’t even want to look her way, knowing he was either going to see her pissed off or guilty as hell. either way he loses, of course. “the way i see it, if you fucked him then i do have a big problem.”

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zara:

she was completely caught off guard from his question. roscoe saw wyatt pull out of her driveway, definitely. that statement just confirmed it. “oh – one of my friends. we had to discuss some important things, yknow,” she replied as he kissed her forehead. she didnt have anything to be guilty about, right ? after all, she wasn’t doing things that were disloyal to their relationship, and she wasn’t lying. wyatt was just a friend. a small smile went onto her face, quite obviously having a bit of her stress off her shoulders from the results. “i missed you too – but, uh .. no. nothing really fun. i had a lot to do with work. someone mixed up important files and i had to haul ass to make sure we got a deal to be put in place. it was .. a stressful week,” zara replied, shrugging slightly. 

he nods at her response, the idea of wyatt being a friend of hers not playing out too well in his head. roscoe had never doubted her loyalty to him, the same way she had seemingly never doubted his until recently but only because there was a reason for her to do so. maybe this was a reason to have doubts of his own, after all how would she feel if he’d been seeing addie at his house. he takes a seat on the couch, eyes watching her but he accidentally tones her out, too distracted by the whole misconception of zara having an affair. “shoulda told wyatt to stick around, got some shit i wanna say to him.” he speaks out randomly, feeling his own filter suddenly turn off. maybe it was the constant drama between the two that had slowly accumulated, or maybe it was because he was pissing himself off. who knew, really.

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zara:

earlier zara had asked roscoe to come over, quite frankly missing him and caving in to actually talking about the situation that happened. to be honest, zara looked like a mess the last week, barely caring for herself and mainly caring about work, the test results, roscoe, and literally everything other than you. she waved wyatt out when he left to go into his car, closing the door behind her and grabbing the test result papers, looking at the written words on it again. negative. as much as it may have been selfish of her, she was incredibly happy about it. she knew she wouldn’t be a good mother, and she felt it would be easier this way. she turned the papers so the blank side was up on the living room coffee table when roscoe walked in, causing her to immediately stand up. “what ? my mother ?” she asked, completely confused and oblivious that he had seen wyatt. “my mom didn’t swing by.” 

that sight of zara seeming a bit more jumpy than usual was enough to spark further confusion and only ignite his mind to think the worst things. “oh, she didn’t? so who’s car just pulled out of the driveway?” he asks, walking towards her to give her a soft kiss against her forehead, not wanting to put off anything that might push her away again. he wanted to believe it was nothing, just like when adelyn had kissed him a week ago, but just like zara he couldn’t help the thoughts building up. “i missed you. do anything fun? anything new at work?” he wasn’t going to mention how he had stopped by to surprise her only to find she hadn’t showed up that day, in fact all these little thoughts were surely going to stay put in his mind.

[starcrsses]

zara:

earlier zara had asked roscoe to come over, quite frankly missing him and caving in to actually talking about the situation that happened. to be honest, zara looked like a mess the last week, barely caring for herself and mainly caring about work, the test results, roscoe, and literally everything other than you. she waved wyatt out when he left to go into his car, closing the door behind her and grabbing the test result papers, looking at the written words on it again. negative. as much as it may have been selfish of her, she was incredibly happy about it. she knew she wouldn’t be a good mother, and she felt it would be easier this way. she turned the papers so the blank side was up on the living room coffee table when roscoe walked in, causing her to immediately stand up. “what ? my mother ?” she asked, completely confused and oblivious that he had seen wyatt. “my mom didn’t swing by.” 

that sight of zara seeming a bit more jumpy than usual was enough to spark further confusion and only ignite his mind to think the worst things. “oh, she didn’t? so who’s car just pulled out of the driveway?” he asks, walking towards her to give her a soft kiss against her forehead, not wanting to put off anything that might push her away again. he wanted to believe it was nothing, just like when adelyn had kissed him a week ago, but just like zara he couldn’t help the thoughts building up. “i missed you. do anything fun? anything new at work?” he wasn’t going to mention how he had stopped by to surprise her only to find she hadn’t showed up that day, in fact all these little thoughts were surely going to stay put in his mind.