farmer 4 mayor 20xx

making grandpa proud since 20xx

[kazimir29]

Viridian staking her claim over the wizard ft. the gossip moms

opened Toon Boom again after such a long time and the default shortcuts are beating me ya'll.

[unhinged-soapbox]

My farmer married Lance so fucking someone would understand the bullshit she has to deal with. And at the wedding Lewis was giving his mean little speech about how despite my 5 years of living here and contributing, the farmer was not a real part of the community until she tapped some local ass. And I'm just imagining my farmer being LIVID.

My farmer: UM? LANCE IS NOT "local ass". LANCE IS CASTLE VILLAGE ASS. I IMPORTED THAT ASS.

Lance, furious on his new wife's behalf: MY ASS IS NOT FROM HERE.

[unhinged-soapbox]

Stardew Valley Expanded is absolutely insane so I've decided to characterize my farmer as increasingly tired about it.

Wizard: WAKE UP I GOTTA TEACH YOU MAGIC CUZ THE HIGH MAGIC COUNCIL SAID SO. NO COW MILKING FOR YOU TODAY!

My farmer, burying her face into her pillows: "Here's a farm," he said, "It will simplify your life when it gets overwhelming," he said.

[unhinged-soapbox]

Wizard: Oh good you brought my magic ink!

My farmer: Yeah, hey, why didn't you say anything about the SWAMP THAT TRIES TO KILL YOU???

Wizard: But did you die though?

My farmer: Yes, like seven times. Harvey can pay off his medical school debt now.

[unhinged-soapbox]

Goblin: YOU STOLE SOMETHING AND NOW I'M UNEMPLOYED YOU GOTTA FIX THIS OR I'M GONNA BURN YOUR WHOLE FARM DOWN.

My farmer, still bleary eyed from passing out in the mud at 2 AM because she was trying to get a midnight carp for Olivia: Yeah this might as well happen.

[unhinged-soapbox]

My farmer, year one: Oh boy, I can join a guild of adventurers and do quests? On top of my new farming job? Sounds exciting! Oh! And I can fix up an old building and bring life back to the community? My life is fulfilling now!

My farmer, year three: ...Four years ago I was at a call center and didn't even believe in magic. And now. For some reason. I'm a fucking prodigy. I thought I was just gonna grow some turnips, get a sheep. What happened? How did I get here?

Morris in a bush for some reason: Heyyyyy-

My farmer: No I'm not going back to Joja, please get out of my bushes, we talked about this.

[valleyofhyperfixations]

Camilla: Showing up on my doorstep and without warning teleporting me to the place called f-ing CRIMSON BADLANDS

My farmer: By all means, use me for yet another deathly dangerous job, it’s not like I saved this village from monsters 15 times already.

[valleyofhyperfixations]

Abigail attending her magic lesson: Yay, I’ll totally impress my crush!

Farmer, her crush, walking out of her bio dad’s bedroom in nothing but Magnus’s bathrobe:

[shellsstardew]

I made my followers on Tik Tok request fan art of the other characters during the break!

Here's Haley!

[meowmoth07]

The hate and disdain I have for Mayor Lewis of Pelican Town is BLINDING. HE IS SUCH A SLIMEBALL. "Yeah, let me just leave the entire town's broken infrastructure and pollution to the farmer who JUST MOVED IN A WEEK AGO". He literally goes around every single damn week collecting "tax money" from all of the local business. WHERE EXACTLY IS THAT TAX MONEY GOING? NOT BACK TO THE COMMUNITY! The kids don't even have a school, the town is so lucky they have Penny willing to teach both Vincent and Jas basic reading and writing skills. Not only that but he could use that money on fixing up the old community center, but yknow what he does instead? HE BUILDS A FUCKING GOLDEN STATUE OF HIMSELF IN HIS OWN BACKYARD WITH THE TOWNS TAXPAYER DOLLARS. And then has the sheer utter AUDACITY to not only make me retrieve his crusty ass undies from his flings bedroom BUT ALSO TELLS ME TO MAKE HIM LUBE?! AND DOESN'T EVEN SAY PLEASE. HE IS SUCH A DEGENERATE BRO I WISH HE WOULD GET BOOTED OUT OF TOWN ONCE YOU COMPLETE THE COMMUNITY CENTER. There is genuinely nobody more cowardly and disgustingly selfish in all of Stardew Valley than Lewis, aside from MAYBE Morris, but I don't fucking see Morris with a golden statue of himself in the middle of Joja Mart. Anyways rant over also maybe Pelican Town needs it's own Luigi Mangione to take out Mayor Lewis and Joja Co.

[zelluna]

haley x female farmer my favorite

[moekkaa]

Haley my wife 💕

[fkapple]

I like the way you draw Haley, that's all

[timdrakesbussy]

Haley: *Pointing at Sebastian* We can't manipulate, Haley: *Pointing at Alex* mansplain, Haley: *Pointing at Sam* or malewife our way out of here. Abigail: *Wielding a sword* MANSLAUGHTER IT IS THEN

[timdrakesbussy]

Game night at Haley’s be like…

(also, not a continuation but check out this post’s tags)

[fkapple]

We've seen Jas' less-than-ideal thoughts on Emily, but how does Haley feel about Emily's new friend? Did she even notice her mood change at all. Does she even care.

I'd say Haley is generally oblivious to/uninterested in her sister's business, but with this weird addition to Em's life she's definitely intrigued (maybe a little concerned lol). I don't think either sister would lean on the other too much for relationship advice so Haley's in the dark about Em's situation for the most part. Perhaps,,, that changes, eventually.....??

[pomporri]

i'm so jetlagged rn 🛬 so you get tiktok sketches

[chandlerkisser69]

REBLOGS OVER LIKES

[sleeplessdreamer14]

local farmer unintentionally attracts unwanted attention from small town repressed lesbian

reblogs are appreciated, do not repost, and remember to do your daily clicks

reference from @isei-silva

[galacticwarpedlense]

Yall think Elliott and Haley have bombastic side eye? Like criminally offensive side eye? They don't use it on regular ordinary stupid or else Sam would be constantly glared at but when they do use it, you feel like you have invented a new type of stupid.

[pomporri]

this is a chappel roan houshold

[pomporri]

she's definitely trendsetter by now