stardust through the cracks

like my diary • she/her • 20-something just some thoughts & photos.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

With you, I felt seen for the first time — yet still, even you eventually looked away.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

As a girl I felt a desperate need to live life, but I was afraid.

Then I found the magic of books.

I could stay safely hidden away while living a thousand lives.

And yet, never my own.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

You’ve been waiting so long to be chosen

That you forgot you can choose.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

I am wrapped in your arms as I fall asleep,

And when I wake, I will still choose these arms to keep.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

Although it’s a tale we often don’t want told,

As the saying goes, many of the good die young

While the bad grow old.

And for that fate we’ll never know how many souls are sold

To tempt odds or tempt gods,

But surely we do know that nothing stays as gold.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

There’s this terrible feeling of tightness in my chest

That I’m not really living this life

And that one day, when the days become irreplaceable

I will regret it.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

Of course I want you to fall for me; even more though, I want the adventure of falling for you.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

It’s true that some friends help bring you out of your shell, but there are others that you trust enough to let in.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

I inhaled that cold winter air in the small hours of the night

And it burst out of me into a warm, a real laugh.

This is what it feels like to be young and to be alive.

So glad to be alive.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

Tomorrow you will meet the love of your life.

And on next Sunday, you’ll bump into someone by accident, and they will turn into the friend you grab a coffee with every weekend.

Three years from now, a book will be written that changes the way you see yourself and all the lives around you.

And in a decade, you will stand at the top of a mountain, with your breath taken away by the view of the city and sea below that you have never seen.

There is time.

And there is so much to come.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

Only you kept the pain from tearing me apart —

You are the home that holds my heart.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

Seek adventure and it will find you.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

I’m sorry I didn’t realize how thin the string was between you and me; how rare these ties would be.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

Open the shutters; do not be afraid to let the light in.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

When your eyes hold mine,

Waves cease crashing, wind is still,

Like time froze with us.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

Maybe everything has ended not how it was supposed to, and I can’t tell you how long that will hurt. But you can push on. You will survive.

[stardustthroughthecracks]

I think I turned you into a human form of my desperate need to be wanted, desired, loved —and for that, I am sorry for the both of us.