The feeling never gets easier, no matter how much time passes.
That constant tinge of pain in your soul.
Different intensities from day to day, but never absent.
A persistent reminder, that you could never be like them.
You could never keep up with them.
From the moment you came to know them... Uma Musume. The girls that were said to come from another world. Born to run. Looked up to by all those around them. A marvellous and magical departure from the human body, capable of reaching speeds up to 70 kilometres per hour. There’s seemingly no way that the appearance of a human body should be able to support the strength and speed of an Uma Musume. Yet, they exist.
And you... could never be like them.
That day never left your head. That day, in preschool, playing with the other kids... some of them Umas. Playing tag... they had to know it wouldn’t be fair, right...? Even young Umas could attain far faster speeds than any human could. You tired yourself out so quickly. Trying your best to keep up, but you never could. You couldn’t even get close. You heard their giggles, teasing you. And... you couldn’t take it.
You fell to your knees. Sobbing. You thought you heard somebody call your name - the name you used at the time, anyways – to ask if you were okay. You couldn’t answer. A small crowd of young Umas gathered around you. Surrounded by what you could never be.
“We’re sorry... that wasn’t fair on you. We knew you couldn’t keep up.”
Couldn’t keep up.
Couldn’t keep up.
Couldn’t keep up.
Those words... echoed in your head. Haunting you. For minutes. Hours. Days. Months. Years.
You couldn’t keep up with them.
You could never hope to keep up with them.
Years later, even after discovering more about yourself, starting estrogen, taking a step closer to your unattainable dream... it didn’t make it any less unattainable.
You always wanted to run. Were desperate to run. But, every time you did... you heard those words again.
You can’t keep up.
No matter how much you ran, trained, improved...
Breaching the barrier of your human body... was an impossibility.
Yet... something deep in your soul continued to cry out, all of that time. Desperate to be released. A desire to run... a desire to be like those girls... A desperate longing, that maybe you were wrong. Maybe there was hope. Even if it defeated all rational thought...
You planned out a route around your town, and... you began running again.
The echo continued, again and again, reminding you that you couldn’t truly reach the potential you wished for. But, you pushed through the feeling. Running along the same route, day after day, recording and improving your times. At first, improving your personal best consistently and by large amounts, but over time, the improvements became more minimal and farther between. Not to mention, every time an Uma dashed by you in the the lanes next to the sidewalk... the tinge of pain grew stronger.
You continued to run. It became harder and harder to motivate yourself, as you reached the limits of your human body, but... that spark in your soul continued to cry out. You had to run. You had to. No matter how much pain your body was in, your heart was in, you had to...
A flash.
For a split second... everything goes white. Then, an explosion of colour. A rush of wind. It feels as though the very laws of the universe are being broken around you. And... a figure appears.
And for a fraction of a split second, you make eye contact with her.
You know who it is immediately. That long-sleeved lab coat. The dull, red eyes, that yet clearly contain a desperation to reach the greatest speeds possible.
And then, she’s gone.
Faster than light.
Rumours had been spread about that Uma Musume. Her disappearance from the public eye after going on an indefinite hiatus following the Satsuki Sho had stirred great controversy among all who knew her name. The “Phantom Triple Crown Uma”. But after the Japan Cup, won by her rival, Jungle Pocket, rumours had formed by those who claimed to have seen her running yet again, that seeing her rival triumph over legends caused her to seek the thrill of running herself, once again.
You had stopped in your tracks. Seeing Agnes Tachyon here of all places... had shaken you. Your brain fills with thoughts, too many to comprehend all at once. The only thing you know for sure, is that the spark in your soul... had become a burning fire.
The next day. The same run. Your body feels lighter, the resolve inside you burning, you have to keep running. You could get faster, you could get closer to those you idolised, you-
Again, you see the flash.
And again, she’s gone.
She really does live up to her legendary status.
Again, and again, and again, you run. On the same path, now because... a part of you wishes to see her. Her blinding speed. Some days, she’s not there. But every now and then, you see her blitz past you, and every time, the fire inside you, the need to run, grows stronger and stronger.
Another day. The same flash of light. This time, you’re prepared. Even if you know in your mind that there’s no hope, the fire in your soul forces you to try. You break into a breakneck sprint, leaning full-tilt forward, as fast as your body will allow you to... but it’s no use. She’s just... so fast. So, so fast. So much faster than she even seemed during her races. And before you know it, she’s gone again.
What were you even hoping to accomplish...?
You stop, clutching your legs as you struggle to get your breath back. Of course you wouldn’t be able to run at even a fraction of her speed. That was so, so obvious. And yet, why did you feel the need to try so badly...? You knew that you couldn’t...
“Ahahahaha! Well, isn’t this a surprise?”
Tachyon...?
“You would seem to be an ordinary human, at first observation. Yet, something about you... has inspired a great curiosity inside me!”
With great effort, you raise your eyes to look up at her. Indeed, there she is. Agnes Tachyon, standing before you, staring... directly... into your soul...
“Yes... By my analysis, your technique is unrefined... I find it unlikely that you’ve had much, if any, formal training in running, I can tell that much quite easily. Yet, despite not being an Uma Musume, your eyes truly betray an intense desire to run, almost matching that of real Uma Musume...”
You try to stammer out a few words, but they get caught in your throat.
“Oh, don’t bother trying to speak. I can easily tell how exhausted you are, even from such a short sprint. Though, I am truly desperate to know... What was the aim of that sprint? Was it a sudden burst of motivation? Adrenaline? Or, is it... Surely, you must have known that you couldn’t keep up with me, right...?”
Couldn’t keep up.
Couldn’t keep up.
Couldn’t keep up.
You find yourself in the playground once again.
And just like that time, years ago, you fall to your knees, on the hard pavement, sobbing.
Of course you knew. Of course you knew you couldn’t. But the fire in your soul, the fire she stoked... forced you to try.
“...I see. How intriguing... I had my suspicions already, but... this all but confirms it.”
You raise your head slightly and see her through your tears. She looks to be deep in thought.
“You desire to be an Uma Musume, do you not?”
Her gaze and her words cut through your heart. It’s... not something you had ever admitted to anyone else. You were scared it was too weird, too selfish, too...
“You don’t need to respond. It’s overwhelmingly obvious, just looking at the state you’re in."
She turns away from you, raising a sleeve to her chin. You can barely hear her mumbling something to herself, but you can’t make out what it is. She paces, her movements slowly becoming more and more erratic, as excitement seems to well up within her...
“The body of a human, yet the spirit of an Uma Musume... Yes... Yes! Yes! You’ll be the one! I’m sure of it now! You’ll be the subject of my grandest experiment yet...!”
More confused than distraught at this point, you ask Tachyon what she’s talking about. She turns to face you once more.
“Oh, you have no need to worry about the details. All you need to know is that this will allow me to gather some extraordinary data, the likes of which I’ve never had before, and that I believe it may just save you from the feelings it would appear have put you into this state! Come now, you’ll participate in this experiment, won’t you?”
You saw now... why Tachyon had a reputation for being somewhat crazy. Your mind tells you that whatever she’s talking about is clearly mad, that you should say no, not participate in whatever this “experiment” is, that you should leave while you have the chance...
But... no. No, no no no no. You know you shouldn’t accept, but the pain and desperation in your soul, the need to break free of your shackles, the need to run, the need to be an Uma Musume...
...You agree to be a part of Tachyon’s experiment.
“AHAHAHAHA! How excellent! In that case, we may begin straight away...!” Tachyon pulls out a small, capped vial of pink liquid from somewhere and puts it into your hand. “I have been truly desperate to find someone perfect for this trial, and you must be the one! I want you to drink this, and then we will meet here in a week’s time to review the changes it has on you! Now, I must return to my lab to prepare the monitoring tools that we’ll need, but I trust that you will be an excellent guinea pig for me! I very much look forward to analysing the results!”
And, before you can say anything, she’s gone again. Faster than light.
You walk home, deep in thought. Not many knew of the nature of Tachyon’s experiments, but those who did... didn’t always have positive things to say about her. Apparently, “safety” and “ethics” were not concepts that she was known to subscribe to. You knew this, but... after all of the pain you’d gone through, the pain of never being able to be like them, never being able to catch up... You’ve been presented with an opportunity. How could you not take it?
As soon as you get home, you down the vial all in one go. Almost immediately, nausea begins to set in, and you begin to lose consciousness.
You’re awoken by a few things. First, by the morning light. Second, by a rumbling stomach. Third, by a strange, tingly feeling in two spots at the top of your head, and one near your bottom. And finally, by a blazing fire in your soul, the strongest desire to run you’ve ever felt.