••Giant List Of Mickey Milkovich Quotes••
“I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE SAYING!”
“Must really clear your mind watching the sunrise after a long night of gurgling old man balls.”
“You came all the way down here to talk about my pubes?”
“You ready to go again or you need some time, firecrotch?”
“Fuck you is what you were invited to.”
“Those fingers go anywhere near that cock, Imma break every knuckle on your hand.”
“You’re going down, Army!”
"Red-head. Bat-shit crazy. Packing 9 inches.”
“Not everyone just gets to blurt out how they fuckin feel every minute.”
“Nonook of the fucking north, why don’t you lose the parka, unless you’re planning on banging Eskimo’s.”
“You wanna chit-chat more or you wanna get on me?”
“Whatever. Likin’ what I like don’t make me a bitch.”
“Does this violate my probation?”
“The fuck are you looking at?”
“GUESS WHAT WE’VE BEEN DOING DADDY? WE’VE BEEN FUCKING! AND I TAKE IT! HE GIVES IT TO ME GOOD AND HARD AND I FUCKING LIKE IT! I SUCK HIS DICK! I FUCKING LOVE IT!”
“I like fucking carrot tops.”
“I just want everyone here to know, I’m fucking gay. Big ol’ mo.”
“So go do yoga, sing fucking Taylor Swift, I don’t give a shit. Just get out of the fucking car.”
“You’re under my skin man. The fuck can I do?”
“His parter. Lover. Family. Ya know?”
“Don’t fucking tell me what’s impossible.”
“I can take care of him. Okay, let me take care of him until he’s better.”
“Look don’t worry, we’ll get a dick in you as we can!”
“Ian what you and I have makes me free.”
“I love you… It means we take care of each other… It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit”
“Fuck you, fuck you and especially fuck you!”
“Well this ain’t Macy’s bitch, and you ain’t window shopping.”
“Sure. Got nothin better to do than watch a bunch of pruney queens slap their sacks against your ass cheeks.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re gonna turn him into a nice, upstanding citizen since you’ve blown so many of them.”
“NO ONE’S GETTING LAID UNTIL THEY GET PAID!”
“They’re not climbing Everest, They’re climbing dick.”
“no that’s illegal in this country”
“anyone can jerk a cock. I jerk mine, he jerks his. Learn a unique skill or shut the fuck up.”
“I got bottom, so you’re on top.”
“Yeah whatever. Tell em you got AIDS.”
“Iiiiiiiian Gallagher! You messed with the wrong girl!”
“Don’t think you’re getting off just because you’re about to drop a patty from your fur-burger.”
“the fuck they can! Look at her, she’s fuckin’ dead!”
“I’m worried about you. I love you.”
“I want you to come with me.”
“He stays here, he’s staying with me. He’s fucking family”
“Tell fuckhead this is not over!”
"Oh. Never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad I finally found Jesus.”
“Fuck you and your weird ass kid”
“You wanna get paid a little more for putting a strangers dick in your mouth?”
“… you mean horny? What 17 year old gay kid isn’t horny?”
“Yeah, please, check your phone. I’ll just yell at the wall.”
“You ever think back in the day that this is where we would be?”
“I was ‘til shit for brains here pulled his Glock out.”
“Leave the goddamn stealing to the experts. fuck.”
“Hope Damon knows how to hitchhike.”
“I could pull it out, but I don’t want to scare all the kids.”
“Oh, check it out. Ian Gallagher putting his big boy pants on.”
“I’m thinking a little bit of nipple pinching and some ass eating.”
“Sun all year round. No more freezing our asses off. Just sandals and tequila from here on, man. It’s what kept me going in the joint. The beach. Us.
“Bet your white ass burns like a mother fucker.”
“Something else I want to hit.”
“Like stab that fat fucking mick who keeps trying to steal my jello!”
“Jesus Christ. You wanna spread a blanket out and look for shooting stars next?”
“It’s a fucking snickers bar!”
“What the fuck does a squirrel have to do with waffles anyway?”
“YES I FUCKING KNOW I GOT SHOT!”
“Yeah ya know when someone robs me with my own fucking gun, they’re not my friend. I’m kinda funny like that.”
“Mary Poppins here is on a warpath.”
“Look, if you dont want to hang out with me that’s fine but you need to call your family.”
“Rise and fuckin shine, Cinderella.”
“I love banana pancakes!”
“Yeah I called for a Youber!”
"Whatchu going down for then, huh?”
“Card carryin, apple pie eatin, born on the fourth of July American fuckin citizen.”
“Fucking cheat on me ian. Wont get out of bed and you’re fucking bouncing off the walls- I came out for you, you piece of shit!”
”Do yourself a favor and put a bullet in my chest, cause if you don’t, you’re in serious shit.”
“Okay you need to push the fuck back, nutjob.”
“I meant we were fucking getting gas!”
“That’s all you think he is? some twink?”
“Say cheese, mother fucker!”
“If I wanted to fuck a guy in the ass, I would have stayed in prison. - Get the lube, bitch.”
“My name’s Ian. I can’t turn the page like a normal human being. I have to put my whole goddamn paw in my mouth.”
“EAT MY CORNBOLE, COCKS!!”
“It’s like getting screwed by a bowl of potato salad every morning.”
“At least my shit gets flushed, unlike your coleslaw-smellin’ dick.”
“Mind your business, Enzo!”
“Yeah, please, that’ll be the day, when Ian Gallagher doesn’t nag the shit outta my ass and tell me what to do about somethin’!”
-Let me know if I missed any that I should add.
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